Olathe author goes from lost child to foster parent

Olathe author goes from lost child to foster parent

By NOEMI HERRERA The Kansas City Star

She was too young to know it then, but now 49-year-old Pam Watson of
Olathe realizes she was traumatized.

“They thought something was wrong with me because I wouldn't talk,”
Watson said in reference to her paternal aunt and uncle who became her
foster parents after the death of her mom and dad. Her biological
parents had both died by the time she was 4.

Separated from three of her four siblings, told that her maternal side
of the family wanted nothing to do with her, and blamed for the abuse
suffered inside her foster house, it was easy for Watson to put a hard
shell around her heart and cloak it with a “forget you” attitude.

Now, Watson has reconciled much of the pain and mended torn
relationships.

She tells her life's story in her new book — Feathers: This Woman, My
Mother: A Monologue — Watson's introspective narrative from her inner
child's point of view about loss, pain and overcoming.

“I was angry when I wrote this book,” she said as she sat in her home
in southeast Olathe.

Angry because death took her foster mother away too soon, leaving
Watson little time to enjoy their patched-up relationship. Angry
because it wasn't until she was about 27 when she learned her mother's
side of the family did love her all this time.

In fact, Watson said, it was her mother's wish that if anything
happened to her, Watson and her siblings would be cared for by her
mom's only sister.

As Watson's life journey is detailed in Feathers, she has already
started on a new path of fostering Kansas children with special needs.

A widow and mother of three children and eight grandchildren, Watson
is licensed to foster two children with special needs in her home,
ages 5 to 21.

She believes her tumultuous childhood and having grown up
misunderstood gave her the tools for fostering kids with special
needs. Those tools: compassion and understanding.

Watson's 21-year-old daughter, Melissa Boyington, said patience is
another quality her mother has.

“It's good she can help them, especially after what she went through
growing up,” Boyington said.

Watson is fostering a 13-year-old girl and 12-year-old boy now. Both
have autism.

Boyington said the little girl has especially made significant strides
under her mom's care.

“She's grown a lot and learned a lot of things. My mother's found out
what she's capable of.”

Watson said fostering children with special needs is a challenge, but
she took on the challenge after an experience she had years before
with her other daughter's friend.

The friend was young and had three children by a man who returned to
his home in Mexico.

“She became homeless with these children,” Watson recalled. “Her only
choice was to let the children go with the father, but we were scared
we'd never see them again. So I let them stay here until she could get
them into a homeless shelter.”

It was at that time Watson went through the motions of becoming a
foster parent.

“Once I got into it, I found there was a need for special needs
children. People forget, there's a lot of special needs children who
need homes. Sometimes they have emotional problems or physical
disabilities, so it is more challenging.

“I was leery at first,” Watson said.

But after coming across one little girl with attachment disorders and
forming an instant bond with her, Watson knew.

“That's what I need to do,” she said.

When Watson thinks back on her childhood and remembers the pain, like
the time her paternal grandmother told her she'd amount to nothing
more than a street walker, Watson's fighting spirit emerges.

“I was going make something of myself and show them ‘I could,' Watson
said.

In her adulthood, she has faced racism, climbed the corporate ladder
and, now, gives stability to children who need it.

She aspires to eventually open a girls' home, which she said is
something that is needed in Johnson County. Her mission statement is
already on paper and her pursuit is on for more information on how to
get the home started.
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