Birthday present question

On 23 Jan 2004 20:56:51 GMT, (Andrea) wrote:


Jordan and Madison have been invited to a classmate's birthday party. The
invitation had "please no gifts" on it. I want to respect the parents' no gift
decision, but I feel bad about going to a party and not bringing anything.
Would it be appropriate to either donate a book to the local library in the
child's name or else give the child a TCBY gift certificate for his family to
enjoy ice cream treats? I'm leaning towards the first idea. What do you all
think?



I'd be inclined to take something along the lines of a host/hostess
gift, for the parents, just like you would if you were invited to an
adult part: drinks, or snacks, or nice napkins.
I think taking some ice cream treats or homebaked cookies or something
like that, would be appropriate.
You coudl call and ask if the parents need anything; that might help
fill a possible gap or allievate some of the stress of having the party
(again, I'm borrowing from what we do for adult party invitations -- we
always offer to bring something and sometiems the hosts do have
something in mind...).
Have fun!

Andrea,

The book donation is a very thoughtful idea that I believe would be
appreciated, yet no one else will be uncomfortable since there is no "gift" in
hand.

In your shoes, I would probably have our girls create homemade cards to give to
the child. I don't think they count as "gifts" and it will provide
thoughtfulness anyway.

I must say, though, that you really shouldn't feel the need to do anything. As
a hostess of several "no gifts, please" parties, I'm always feeling
uncomfortable because no one follows the request. Hence, we are going to do
alternatives so I can eliminate the problem. I understand wholeheartedly how
we all want to bring something out of kindness. But, we need to learn how to
shake that guilt-thing regarding party gifts when no one is expecting them

Hard stuff...
Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

Andrea,

The book donation is a very thoughtful idea that I believe would be
appreciated, yet no one else will be uncomfortable since there is no "gift" in
hand.

In your shoes, I would probably have our girls create homemade cards to give to
the child. I don't think they count as "gifts" and it will provide
thoughtfulness anyway.

I must say, though, that you really shouldn't feel the need to do anything. As
a hostess of several "no gifts, please" parties, I'm always feeling
uncomfortable because no one follows the request. Hence, we are going to do
alternatives so I can eliminate the problem. I understand wholeheartedly how
we all want to bring something out of kindness. But, we need to learn how to
shake that guilt-thing regarding party gifts when no one is expecting them

Hard stuff...
Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

I think the book donation is a terrific idea. No gifts surely does not include
cards, so you could simply put a note in with the card explaining what you have
done.

No gift requests are hopefully becoming more and more accepted. Chances are
this child is NOT going without any gifts at all. So don't feel badly about
that.

Michelle

I think the book donation is a terrific idea. No gifts surely does not include
cards, so you could simply put a note in with the card explaining what you have
done.

No gift requests are hopefully becoming more and more accepted. Chances are
this child is NOT going without any gifts at all. So don't feel badly about
that.

Michelle

If following her request really bothers you that much, call the hostess and
ask what you can do -- donation, bring cookies, whatever.

Otherwise, homemade cards are a great idea.

I think if I said "no gifts" and people didn't respect that I'd be a bit
peeved!

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)



"Andrea" wrote in message
...
Jordan and Madison have been invited to a classmate's birthday party.
The
invitation had "please no gifts" on it. I want to respect the parents'
no
gift
decision, but I feel bad about going to a party and not bringing
anything.
Would it be appropriate to either donate a book to the local library in
the
child's name or else give the child a TCBY gift certificate for his
family
to
enjoy ice cream treats? I'm leaning towards the first idea. What do
you
all
think?

TIA,
Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

If following her request really bothers you that much, call the hostess and
ask what you can do -- donation, bring cookies, whatever.

Otherwise, homemade cards are a great idea.

I think if I said "no gifts" and people didn't respect that I'd be a bit
peeved!

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)



"Andrea" wrote in message
...
Jordan and Madison have been invited to a classmate's birthday party.
The
invitation had "please no gifts" on it. I want to respect the parents'
no
gift
decision, but I feel bad about going to a party and not bringing
anything.
Would it be appropriate to either donate a book to the local library in
the
child's name or else give the child a TCBY gift certificate for his
family
to
enjoy ice cream treats? I'm leaning towards the first idea. What do
you
all
think?

TIA,
Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

I think everyone has already adequately answered your question - I just wanted
to say "ditto!".

I've had "no gift please" parties, and I really mean it when I say it. So you
really shouldn't feel bad. If you feel compelled, I think a card or the book
idea is nice - or even calling the mom and offering to help. At my boys' last
birthday, someone took the pictures for me. That was a great relief - it's so
hard to manage the presents and food and all the kids AND take pictures of it
all. :-D


Stephanie
Jake and Ryan 9/3/99

I think everyone has already adequately answered your question - I just wanted
to say "ditto!".

I've had "no gift please" parties, and I really mean it when I say it. So you
really shouldn't feel bad. If you feel compelled, I think a card or the book
idea is nice - or even calling the mom and offering to help. At my boys' last
birthday, someone took the pictures for me. That was a great relief - it's so
hard to manage the presents and food and all the kids AND take pictures of it
all. :-D


Stephanie
Jake and Ryan 9/3/99

Don't worry about doing either. If you just can't do that , then go with
the book thing. You did however open my eyes to something I never thought
about before. When I throw my twins parties I ask for no gifts because they
already have everything. I never thought about how uncomfortable that may
make some parents. Now I will just say in lieu of gifts donate to the food
bank or something like that.

Almetra
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/britetwins/


"Andrea" wrote in message
...
Jordan and Madison have been invited to a classmate's birthday party. The
invitation had "please no gifts" on it. I want to respect the parents' no
gift
decision, but I feel bad about going to a party and not bringing anything.
Would it be appropriate to either donate a book to the local library in
the
child's name or else give the child a TCBY gift certificate for his family
to
enjoy ice cream treats? I'm leaning towards the first idea. What do you
all
think?

TIA,
Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00