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#72
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#73
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"Byron Canfield" wrote in message news:GLzVc.199868$eM2.16412@attbi_s51 ...
"Lee" wrote in message m ... "Zoe" wrote in message ... No one understands what being a single mother is until they experienced it. So? This method of refutation is dropped by most after their sophomore year of College. Valid, accurate criticisms can be levied by persons who have never been in the situation they are critiquing. I am a man, but I can validly criticize women who chose poorly and then have a child by their poorly chosen man. On the other hand, whether one has been in the situation or not, the data is not available from which to draw the conclusion that one group, in total, or the other, consists of "chumps" or "losers" as the originator of this thread asserted. Almost every woman who gets pregnant wants to get pregnant because they act in a manner that does not preclude pregnancy. Every time. See above. If I were a woman and I did not want to get pregnant - I would not have unprotected sex. I would be on the pill. I would have the Ru-486 in my medicine cabinet. I would know where to get an abortion. I would know where to give up a baby for adoption. There are 13 or 14 ways to not become a mother. And there you DO put yourself in the position of judging something for which you have not the frame of reference. In short - I disagree. Accurate assessments can be made by those who have dissimilar frames for reference. It happens millions of times a day, accurately, precisely and truthfully, all over the world. If your intent is that I must have the frame of reference in order to judge something, I disagree in the strongest possible fashion. My OP states that clearly. As one example, a person does not have to be a civil engineer to make the accurate judgment that 'Bouncing Gertie' over the Tacoma Narrows was an engineering failure. You exhibit Fascistic tendencies, in the modern usage of the word. i.e. A Fascist is someone who's pov is held above all others and their standards are the ultimate standards to use for a given situation - like your apparent insistence that I must have the frame of reference of someone I am validly critiquing. IOW you reserve the right to ignore criticism based upon dissimilar frames of reference. How convenient for you. BTW your opinion will have no effect upon my judgments. I can judge all I want, and most of my judgments are very accurate and precise and truthful. I also like the way you ignored my last paragraph where I talked about single fathers. See the below paragraph. I'm also aware that there are single fathers out there who are doing the same job as single mothers and should be commended just as well. I'll also say this - courts more often than not side with the mother on custody issues and this is not always right either. 80% of custody is awarded to mommy. Your post is another example of people in denial or being plain stupid. You cite no facts to back up your 80% figure, These facts are common knowledge. But I will indulge your lack of initiative. http://www.menweb.org/throop/custody...s/whoGets.html 77% mommy, 23% joint. I was incorrect - mommy gets custody 91.5% of the time. and then you insult the poster for her paragraph I posted this : "Your post..." I am referring to her post, not the aforementioned paragraph. That is your comprehension bias kicking in. that was in agreement with your assertion. And you're calling HER plain stupid? For referring to "I stand corrected - I actually (said) that "more often than not men are the pathetic losers who cause women to be single mothers. That's not sexist."" Yes, her statement is stupid. Most men who want to be part of their children's lives *are* if the mother allows it. The 'Deadbeat Dad' phenomenon is blown way out for proportion - most men want to be fathers to their kids. http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/baddadmyth2.htm "Most divorced dads have more contact with their kids than was previously believed, he says. A 1983 study based at the University of Pennsylvania reported that only 49 percent of fathers had contact with their children within the preceding year. But Braver found that 90 percent had contact by either parent's account. Five out of six fathers living in the same town three years after the divorce reported weekly contact" Bravers 1999 study found that more than 50% see their children. So her statement is false, biased, sexist and stupid. http://www.acfc.us/reports/pdfs/DTWS...tdadcanard.pdf Thus her refusal to acknowledge the truth is either 1) Denial or 2) stupidity. I stand by my post. She is either in denial or stupid. Additionally, insults are not false - they are impolite. Is what I posted true? Is she ignorant or in denial WRT who is responsible for single motherhood and child custody? Why do women get pregnant? Because they want to. See above, regarding judging things for which you have no frame of reference. Another example: Is there any one over the age of 15 who lives in North America who does not know about AIDS? Q: Then why has anyone become infected since 1990? A: They behave stupidly. That contradicts your prior assertion that it is by conscious choice. It does not. Are you stupid? Read for comprehension. You appear to equate 'behaving stupidly' with a non-conscious choice. People who get AIDS behave stupidly i.e. make bad choices, and those choices result in HIV infection. Those conscious choices - to bareback or not for example - result in infection. Women who 'accidentally get' pregnant also make bad choices by not planning and being irrational wrt birth control. They consciously chose stupidly, and results bear this out. Do you bother to read what you write before you hit the send button? Geez! You are condescending, and inaccurate. -Lee. |
#74
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#75
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"denanson" Dennis@Large .ie wrote in message ... "Betsy" wrote in message So you are saying, you make no effort whatsoever to allow your child to see his father? You have made no attempt to contact your child's father for visitation? I know I had issues with my son's father, and he made attempts to NOT see his child for periods of time, but when he called, my son went with his dad. When my son wanted to talk to Daddy, I called him up. When my ex-husband decided to terminate his parental rights, because of other legal issues, I was as honest as I could be to my son. He was six years old at the time. I do not believe that lying to your child is appropriate. I don't mean telling him the cold hard truth, but something he can understand. I told my son, "Daddy has some problems right now, and decided that he couldn't visit with you for awhile." He accepted that. The fact remains, my son got the truth without being told, "Daddy doesn't want you anymore," or "You weren't important enough in Daddy's life," or whatever perceptions I had at the time. This wasn't and isn't about ME it's about my child. Please bear that in mind; it's better to work toward the best interest of your child than your own personal angry agenda. Betsy, you should have left this in soc.men as well.It may have re-assured some of the sceptics there that not all women are the same ;-) Dennis Good point, I didn't think of that. I don't like to cross post if I can avoid it. :-) Betsy |
#76
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#77
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"Sky KIng" wrote in message l.net... In article , says... "Sky KIng" wrote in message .net... In article , says... On Fri, 20 Aug 2004 14:42:51 -0400, "Zoe" scribbled: I stand corrected - I actually that "more often than not men are the pathetic losers who cause women to be single mothers. That's not sexist. LOL...its within the women's power to NOT get pregnant...they have better birth control choices then do men and they have more pre-birth and post-birth choices. Give men just the same post-birth choices unless you are a sexist and you think women deserve special treatment and laws just for them. If a man doesn't want a woman to get pregnant, he should use a condom. Is that complicated? If he does that then there is no issue of post-pregnancy choices. Nice try at sidestepping the issue...women have a clear post-birth choice and that is to legally abandon the child NO questions asked...just give any father that same exact right..unless you are a sexist and you like special rights just for women. Women's birth control is more effective..nice of you to put all the responsibility on the man though...ONLY women get pregnant and I would tell any daughter I had to make sure she took care of her own birth control. And women only get pregnant by male sperm. At least, for now. And yes - I'm VERY sexist and think that all women should have special rights. Like, for instance, to make the father take some responsibility for a child he helped create, at least financially or otherwise. I wouldn't worry though, I doubt very much that anyone want to **** you anyway. You can always donate to a sperm bank though - and then you'll be anonymous and won't have to contribute. Then again, you can just go find a tree somewhere and get the same job done there. |
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#79
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On Fri, 20 Aug 2004 14:42:51 -0400, "Zoe"
scribbled: As for this newsgroup - wow, you guys are one of the most sanctimounous, hostile groups I've come across in a long time. Jumping all over each other at the smallest scent of blood - judging about why and how women get pregnant, how they should deal with their children and their ex's. Well, at least I know now why someone might have come up with the subject of this thread - they probably read some of the things you women were writing in this group. Anyway - it's been a slice - and for all of you who are enraged by this post - don't bother replying to it because I won't be reading your replies. I think I'll go find some nicer people in, say, maybe alt.flame or something. LOL! !!!!!!!! That's entertainment , Damn I love reading this group......much better . Now off to my AA meeting to find someone to adopt my granddaughter ! 'Cause there is no way in hell "I" could ever help my teenage daughter raise her baby while she finishes school , what kind of parent would do such a thing ? sheeesh ! |
#80
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