Review: Shaolin Soccer (***)

SHAOLIN SOCCER
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): ***


What do you get when you blend BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, THE BAD NEWS BEARS,
Jackie Chan's martial arts comedies and Clint Eastwood's spaghetti westerns
with CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON and every other kung fu comedy ever made
in Hong Kong? SHAOLIN SOCCER (SIU LAM JUK KAU), a deliciously funny and
wonderfully good-spirited movie.



This sweetly over-the-top film starts two decades ago when the famous
Chinese soccer player known as Golden Leg (played in the present by Ng Man
Tat) misses the big goal at the playoffs. His rival, Hung (played in the
present by Patrick Tse), has arranged for a mob to storm the field and break
his leg so that he'll never again provide any competition to Hung.



We quickly cut to the present when Hung is the wealthy and cheating leader
of the team that has won the Chinese soccer championship five years in a
row. The team modestly and aptly calls themselves, Team Evil. Steroid
abuse is nothing compared to what these guys do to their bodies in order to
win.



One day, Golden Leg meets Sing (Stephen Chow, who also directs), a master of
something called Shaolin kung fu. He convinces Sing to be the leader of a
ragtag soccer team. Under Golden Leg's leadership and with the use of
Sing's Shaolin kung fu, the team becomes such a powerhouse that they can
score goals repeatedly the first time they touch the ball. Even their
goalie can score goals with one kick across the field.



The movie has great fun with the special effects and the outlandish feats it
lets its characters execute. The first time Sing kicks the ball in
practice, it goes so high that it doesn't come down until their tea break is
over. Balls don't just go across the field, they cause earthquake-like
waves in the turf, and the ball frequently turns into a flaming rocket.
Slow motion, speedups and freeze frame are all used to good effect in the
film.



The movie introduces beauty in motion when none would be expected. Some
unexpectedly lovely scenes include the mixing of bread dough, dancing across
banana peels and choreographing of mall shoppers.



In the ending championship game against Team Evil, the big question is
whether our undefeated team finally will meet their match, since Team Evil
views soccer as a contact sport. My money is on our guys.



That's probably enough for the review. I'll let you experience the rest for
yourself. (And I haven't even had enough time to tell you about the
explosive game of indoor, underwater soccer that requires spectators to
carry large umbrellas.)



SHAOLIN SOCCER runs a fast 1:27. The film is in Cantonese with English
subtitles. It is rated PG for "martial arts action and some thematic
elements" and would be acceptable for all ages.



The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the
Silicon Valley, it is showing at the Camera Cinemas.



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