Questions about baby shower

"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message ...
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

Well, I'm Jewish, and hadn't heard of the superstition until after I
was pg. So, I decided that it was a little silly for me to add a
superstition that I didn't feel strongly about. (I don't have any
problem with other people observing it - I just didn't feel strongly
about it myself.) However, I respected my mom's wishes, and we didn't
include my female relatives who might have been bothered. It was
hosted by my MIL & SIL (neither Jewish, though both are married to
Jews, and also have quite a few Jewish friends, some of whom were
there), and while that was also a faux pas, I didn't have the heart to
dissuade them since they were just so excited to plan it.

The Jewish side of the family did come to the baby naming ceremony
after the baby was born, both times. (Baby #2 didn't have a shower,
since we didn't need much of anything.) Note that for a girl, there
is no actual tradition for baby naming ceremonies, so you can set the
date for any time you find convenient and/or meaningful to you. While
it wasn't a "gift required" event like a shower, most people brought
something.

I will point out that the degree of December scheduling madness in a
Jewish family greatly varies depending on how Jewish of a community
you are in. If most of your close family, friends and associates are
Jewish, it is probably no big deal. But if you are in a more mixed
community, you will likely have lots of events to schedule around in
December. It sounds like you already have lots of December stuff
going on, so I would take that into consideration. (Because of all
the intermarriages in dh's side, we get Thanksgiving at our house with
both sides, Chanukah once with each side, and Christmas with his side,
plus we try to do an office event, and for a few years we had a
Chamber of Commerce holiday party, too. Whew!)


Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel wierd?

I went to a "family shower" last year. It was fun, but I didn't get
to spend much time watching presents get opened because I was chasing
ds. The guys mostly hung out outside during the present opening bit.

I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid the long
lull in the middle of the party. At first I thought this sounded cool
(neither DH or I are looking forward to being the center of attention for
that long). But maybe people like seeing their gift opened?

Opening presents is the big entertainment of a shower, usually. I
like to see all the cute and/or silly things! If you want to skip
that part, just don't have a shower.

One thing I haven't noticed in your post - do you know who would be
hosting your shower, if you had one? You really can't host a shower
for yourself, anyhow, and if no one offers to host one, that answers
the dilemma right there. If someone offers to host one, then you can
negotiate the date with that person/group.

HTH,

Irene

Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby?

I had *four* showers for my first baby, and one of them was afterwards--I think
whe was about two months old. IIRC, we did it that way because of scheduling
difficulties. I didn't enjoy it very much because Emily was colicky and she
screamed the entire time unless I was nursing her. It was a family shower and
all my aunts, cousines, and grandmothers had to have a try at soothing her and
nothing worked. Being a new mother, it was nerve-wracking for me.


Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there?

What don't you like about all female showers? I've been to only one shower
where men were included. They were pretty much all older men. I personally
think single men would find it strange.


I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid the long
lull in the middle of the party.

IMO, the whole point of/highlight of the shower is watching the gifts being
opened.


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Have a baby shower after Christmas - mid January - January is a horrid month
so it will give everyone something to look forward to - and with the January
sales after Christmas you will get even better gifts

Bws
Jane

ps. I had my first 4 in the UK where they don't ahve baby showers!! so
enjoy



"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that
we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel wierd?

I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid the
long
lull in the middle of the party. At first I thought this sounded cool
(neither DH or I are looking forward to being the center of attention for
that long). But maybe people like seeing their gift opened?

Thank in advance for any advice!
Erin

"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message ...
Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel wierd?


I've been to a several co-ed baby showers (and wedding showers for
that matter). They can be quite fun. Even for the single guys. As
long as the guys have a good sense of humor, even the traditional
shower games can be quite hilarious. I remember one where we were
supposed to fill in the blanks in common nursery rhymes--many of the
guys got quite, um, creative with their answers, and everyone was
rolling on the floor laughing by the end of the game. At another
shower, the host provided a package of diapers for the guests to write
advice or other sayings on (diapers for the couple to use the first
day or two back from the hospital)--again, some of the things the guys
come up with are a blast, and everyone ends up having a good time. I
guess if the guys in your family/circle of friends are the surly "I
hate anything remotely girly" type, then they might sour the mood of
the party, but you'll have to judge that for yourself.

Oh yeah--whoever plans the food should take guy's appetites into
consideration--If you assume everyone will be content with an
itty-bitty cup of punch and a petit-four, then you may run out of food
once a couple of guys pick up large platefuls of whatever's
provided....

I kind of wish my shower were going to be co-ed, since I enjoy the
guys's company as much as the gals in our social group. However,
after adding up all the people there would have been too many to fit
in the hostess's house without feeling like sardines. DH may end up
getting together with the guys and doing something during that
time--probably involving either bowling or the X-Box...


Good luck and have fun
--Elit

#1 due 9/20/2004