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#1
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Starting a bedtime ritual
I've gathered that it's never too early to start a bedtime ritual, and
we probably should have already done so. DH and I would like to start doing one with our 6 week old DD, but are not entirely clear on how this works. So far we do nothing special except turn off the bright lights around 9 or 10pm, and she usually nurses off to sleep between 10pm and midnight. Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? If she's hungry and wants to nurse until 11:30pm, it's not like we can do our ritual at 10pm and put her to bed. And I can't always predict when she's going to drop off -- sometimes she seems really wired and then in the space of one or two nursings she conks out. So how does a bedtime ritual work for a baby that you can't verbally explain the concept to? Kate and Bug, June 8 2003 |
#2
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Starting a bedtime ritual
Your DD is way too young for any type of schedule. She and you are still
solely dictated by her tummy at this time. She will most likely work herself into a schedule of her own (loosely), and once that happens, you can tweak it to accommodate you and DH if needed. Michelle P "Akuvikate" wrote in message om... I've gathered that it's never too early to start a bedtime ritual, and we probably should have already done so. DH and I would like to start doing one with our 6 week old DD, but are not entirely clear on how this works. So far we do nothing special except turn off the bright lights around 9 or 10pm, and she usually nurses off to sleep between 10pm and midnight. Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? If she's hungry and wants to nurse until 11:30pm, it's not like we can do our ritual at 10pm and put her to bed. And I can't always predict when she's going to drop off -- sometimes she seems really wired and then in the space of one or two nursings she conks out. So how does a bedtime ritual work for a baby that you can't verbally explain the concept to? Kate and Bug, June 8 2003 |
#3
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Starting a bedtime ritual
"Akuvikate" wrote in message om... I've gathered that it's never too early to start a bedtime ritual, and we probably should have already done so. DH and I would like to start doing one with our 6 week old DD, but are not entirely clear on how this works. So far we do nothing special except turn off the bright lights around 9 or 10pm, and she usually nurses off to sleep between 10pm and midnight. Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? If she's hungry and wants to nurse until 11:30pm, it's not like we can do our ritual at 10pm and put her to bed. And I can't always predict when she's going to drop off -- sometimes she seems really wired and then in the space of one or two nursings she conks out. So how does a bedtime ritual work for a baby that you can't verbally explain the concept to? Kate and Bug, June 8 2003 6 weeks is too young for any sort of ritual, at that age they tend to fall asleep whenever, wherever. However, you can get her used to something like soft music or being patted gently or a particular lighting level or nursing lying down if you want to make the night time routine consistently different. Rituals tend to emerge bit by bit. |
#4
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Starting a bedtime ritual
Well six weeks is a little early to do any kind of routine. I pretty much
did the same things for bedtime, but if they woke up in the middle of the night, well then I just took care of their needs and went back to bed as quickly as I could. However, it was around six months for each baby before a loose routine was even established. By then, I was able to do the same things each night for bed and they were pretty much sleeping through the night at that point, but nothing was written in stone. If it was bath night, we did bath, feed, rock and sing and then I laid them down. Most of the time it worked. If I was you, I don't think I would try to do any scheduling right now. Hang in there though, it will come. ) -- Sue mom to three girls Akuvikate wrote in message om... I've gathered that it's never too early to start a bedtime ritual, and we probably should have already done so. DH and I would like to start doing one with our 6 week old DD, but are not entirely clear on how this works. So far we do nothing special except turn off the bright lights around 9 or 10pm, and she usually nurses off to sleep between 10pm and midnight. Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? If she's hungry and wants to nurse until 11:30pm, it's not like we can do our ritual at 10pm and put her to bed. And I can't always predict when she's going to drop off -- sometimes she seems really wired and then in the space of one or two nursings she conks out. So how does a bedtime ritual work for a baby that you can't verbally explain the concept to? Kate and Bug, June 8 2003 |
#5
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Starting a bedtime ritual
Akuvikate wrote:
I've gathered that it's never too early to start a bedtime ritual, and we probably should have already done so. DH and I would like to start doing one with our 6 week old DD, but are not entirely clear on how this works. So far we do nothing special except turn off the bright lights around 9 or 10pm, and she usually nurses off to sleep between 10pm and midnight. Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? If she's hungry and wants to nurse until 11:30pm, it's not like we can do our ritual at 10pm and put her to bed. And I can't always predict when she's going to drop off -- sometimes she seems really wired and then in the space of one or two nursings she conks out. So how does a bedtime ritual work for a baby that you can't verbally explain the concept to? I don't think you have to approach it so rigidly. For a little baby like this, I would just tend in the general direction of a bedtime routine. What we do is try to give signals that bedtime is approaching. Eventually, Genevieve will go to bed at 8pm just like her brothers, so when it's bedtime we change her into PJs (I know it doesn't make a *real* difference with most newborn clothes, but the act of changing into PJs is a signal that's useful) and after that, the house is quieter and darker. We don't arbitrarily plop her in bed at a specific time or after a specific set of activities, but she starts to get the idea that bedtime is approaching and she starts winding down. As time goes by, she'll get more and more attuned to the timing and eventually she'll be ready to go to bed at 8pm (though that'll take a while--right now it's better if she doesn't conk out until later so that her big sleep is while we're asleep). If you want to throw in a bath, bedtime can be a good time for that (if bathing relaxes her--if not, save that for daytime!). I don't think things have to be elaborate. Just tend in the direction you eventually want to go. I think this is hardest to do with the first child. Once there are already older kids in the house, you naturally acclimate the newborn to the current schedule because it's already driving your lifestyle. Best wishes, Ericka |
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Starting a bedtime ritual
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#7
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Starting a bedtime ritual
Hi - Did you see Ericka's advice? It's excellent. I didn't save the text, but basically she said that you do the same things every night so that your baby starts to associate what you do with "winding down" and gradually becomes ready to go to sleep. Over time, the going to sleep bit will (hopefull) get easier. The infant "ritual" can simply be something like bath change into pajamas go into sleeping room dim the lights nurse and drop off get put into the sleeping space, already asleep You can do this at whatever time suits YOU. In our house, infants went to sleep minutes before *I* was ready to go to sleep, in hopes that I'd get a long stretch of snooze in before the first nursing session. (Since, in the beginning the infant was in charge of bedtime's TIME, I went to sleep at widely variable hours.) As your baby gets older, the ritual will change. You may add in some time to play in the crib, or story time. You may switch the positions of falling asleep and getting into the sleeping space. (Ie, get into bed awake, THEN fall asleep.) And you'll almost certainly start to enforce a specific bedtime by the time your child is ready to start school or daycare. Our kids used to go to sleep at around 11pm when they were infants. (And they cluster nursed for the four hours prior ...) When they started nursery school we moved to an 8pm bedtime, in hopes of having them wake up cheerful in the morning. Now that they're in elementary school, bedtime has moved to 8:30 or 9:00, and they still wake up cheerful. Other changes in the routine ... we used to read together to the kids before bedtime. Then they started to play together and get rambunctious, so we switched to separate reading times. THen my older son started to prefer to read to himself most of the time. And somewhere in there, maybe when they were 2 and 4 years old? we added in a trip to the "dreamstore" so they could pick out good dreams, have something to think about while nodding off, and not worry about nightmares or monsters. (My husband gets credit for that one; a brilliant idea.) I hope this helps, --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. |
#8
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Starting a bedtime ritual
Akuvikate wrote:
Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? I don't think you do. Caterpillar (almost 8 weeks - wow, does time fly!) is either very predictable, or our lives are so completely without structure that they adapt to whatever she happens to do at any given moment, and I still haven't figured out any special nighttime things. We don't do pajamas (she gets changed when her clothes are dirty, or sometime in the 36 hours after putting them on, if I've managed to keep her clean). She loves a bath, but baths dry her out too much to make them an everyday thing, especially if there's a chance she'll need another one following the morning diaper explosion. No special music, or story, or anything like that, and she's not always in the mood to appreciate them. What we do is: when I'm ready to go to bed, I carry all her stuff into the bedroom, with her either over my shoulder or in the sling. So we make 4 or 6 trips back and forth. The bedroom is cooler and darker and quieter than the rest of the house. I put her down on the bed awake (she'll rarely take a daytime nap on the bed, and if she does, she's always asleep when I put her down). If she's shiny-eyed and happy, we play for awhile. I talk to her while she amuses herself and I get ready for bed (during the day, she doesn't get a lot of self-amusing time). So much self-amusement usually leads to agitated flailing. Then I lie down next to her and either give her a finger to suck or a snuggle if she's not hungry. When she gets hungry, then she nurses, gets changed into a disposable diaper for the night, and nurses again. If she's still really awake and happy, she'll get some bare-bottom play time before the second nursing. Then she either lies down next to me or on Allyson's chest, we turn out the bedside light, and everyone goes to sleep. If she's not sleepy, she can either amuse herself or suck a finger while we snuggle her, but lights off is the end of playtime. Normally, she's asleep after the 11pm feeding, but last night she wasn't very hungry then, and didn't stay asleep until after a 1am feeding. Our ritual, such as it is, doesn't really mean bedtime until the light is out, so I just stayed up and read until she was ready. Phoebe |
#9
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Starting a bedtime ritual
I don't think 6 weeks is young at all. My baby had a routine at 8 weeks and
was sleeping through the night. Just be consistent every night with what you do. This is my second baby and this is what I do. Give her a bath around 6:30 and a bottle soon after that. We wake her at 10:30 for another bottle and she's out until at least 7:00am the next morning. Good luck! "Akuvikate" wrote in message om... I've gathered that it's never too early to start a bedtime ritual, and we probably should have already done so. DH and I would like to start doing one with our 6 week old DD, but are not entirely clear on how this works. So far we do nothing special except turn off the bright lights around 9 or 10pm, and she usually nurses off to sleep between 10pm and midnight. Here's what I don't understand -- how do we get her to associate whatever ritual we start with sleep? If she's hungry and wants to nurse until 11:30pm, it's not like we can do our ritual at 10pm and put her to bed. And I can't always predict when she's going to drop off -- sometimes she seems really wired and then in the space of one or two nursings she conks out. So how does a bedtime ritual work for a baby that you can't verbally explain the concept to? Kate and Bug, June 8 2003 |
#10
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Starting a bedtime ritual
"lovey" wrote: i'm really not a great one for routine, but i've heard kids *thrive* on it- who knows, i might thrive on it too! : ] Some kids thrive on it, but many do fine without it. P. Tierney |
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