Two Miscarriages/Pregnant Again

I had my second miscarriage 6 months ago at 11 weeks, and now I am pregnant
again. My H is worried that we will lose this one too. My mother is telling
me not to get my hopes up, and not to tell anyone. I was doing fine and not
worrying until I told my Mother... now I find myself doubtng and worrying...
any ideas other than telling my M off about it to get her to stop or to try
to "forget" about it?

mKd

You gotta love mothers... they just seem to know exactly what to say to make
us lose our minds.

I wouldn't bother telling her off is just more stress for you. Who knows
what else she would say. Your mother is not your doctor and she isn't your
body so how would she know enough to tell you not to get your hopes up? Just
blow it off ... people say stupid things all the time and no disrespect,
that was a pretty stupid thing for her to say. Just think of YOU and your
baby and how the stress of worrying isn't good for either of you. It may
sound corny but maybe just some breathing or yoga exercises. That and don't
mention it to her again until you are past that lovely three month part
where we are all supposed to relax and enjoy ourselves (ha). Do you have a
good friend that would support you other than your husband? Friends are a
great resource at times like these.

Keep us posted!

--
..oO rach Oo.


"Kat D" wrote in message
. ..
I had my second miscarriage 6 months ago at 11 weeks, and now I am pregnant
again. My H is worried that we will lose this one too. My mother is
telling
me not to get my hopes up, and not to tell anyone. I was doing fine and
not
worrying until I told my Mother... now I find myself doubtng and
worrying...
any ideas other than telling my M off about it to get her to stop or to
try
to "forget" about it?

mKd

In message , Kat D
writes
I had my second miscarriage 6 months ago at 11 weeks, and now I am pregnant
again. My H is worried that we will lose this one too. My mother is telling
me not to get my hopes up, and not to tell anyone. I was doing fine and not
worrying until I told my Mother... now I find myself doubtng and worrying...
any ideas other than telling my M off about it to get her to stop or to try
to "forget" about it?

Maybe it's not about you, but her. Maybe what she really means is that
SHE isn't getting her hopes up.
--
Mogget

Mogget wrote:
In message , Kat D
writes
I had my second miscarriage 6 months ago at 11 weeks, and now I am pregnant
again. My H is worried that we will lose this one too. My mother is telling
me not to get my hopes up, and not to tell anyone. I was doing fine and not
worrying until I told my Mother... now I find myself doubtng and worrying...
any ideas other than telling my M off about it to get her to stop or to try
to "forget" about it?

Maybe it's not about you, but her. Maybe what she really means is that
SHE isn't getting her hopes up.
--
Mogget

...and that maybe she is worried about how you would feel if you told
everyone and the worst should happen. Dh was so worried after my mc
that he pretty much refused to acknowledge the pregnancy it until the
scan (we found about about the mc at the 12wk scan). Not only was he
worried for himself but knew how much pain it caused me.

People feel differently about telling people. Some who have a mc wished
they hadn't told anyone because of the pain it caused telling them they
had lost it. Others have felt they wished they had told people because
when they lost it they couldn't explain why they were sad/hurt/angry
and didn't receive the acknowledgement of their loss they needed to
move on. When I told my sister of my second pregnancy she said she
wished I hadn't because of the worry for her. But I was so happy (as
well as worried) I wanted to tell people close to me. I found the
happiness overtook the worry, especially as my belly grew. Perhaps it's
something about actually carrying the baby that makes mothers feel less
worried?? Ds and sister had no control whatsoever so couldn't feel
anything but worry. I think they were afraid to be happy. I didn't
bring this up with either until after the 1st scan as although I wanted
them to be pleased I accepted this was their way of coping.

Sorry, that was a bit long wasn't it!.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope things go well for you.

(hugs)

Jeni

"Kat D" wrote in message
. ..
I had my second miscarriage 6 months ago at 11 weeks, and now I am pregnant
again. My H is worried that we will lose this one too. My mother is
telling
me not to get my hopes up, and not to tell anyone. I was doing fine and
not
worrying until I told my Mother... now I find myself doubtng and
worrying...
any ideas other than telling my M off about it to get her to stop or to
try
to "forget" about it?

mKd

Mother's can be so........!@#!@%%$#!

Of course your hubby is worried, as you probably are too. After 2 mc it's
hard to NOT worry. You know your mother best - perhaps you shouldn't even
talk to her until you are past the waiting period. If you have a fairly
close relationship with your mother, tell her under no uncertain terms, that
if she can't be supportive, then you won't talk to her. Stress and fear can
only hurt things.

Betsy

----- Original Message -----
From: ".oO rach Oo."
Newsgroups: misc.kids.pregnancy
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 9:36 PM
Subject: Two Miscarriages/Pregnant Again


You gotta love mothers... they just seem to know exactly what to say to
make
us lose our minds.

You got it... she seems to do it everytime I'm happy! LOL

I wouldn't bother telling her off is just more stress for you. Who knows
what else she would say. Your mother is not your doctor and she isn't your
body so how would she know enough to tell you not to get your hopes up?
Just
blow it off ... people say stupid things all the time and no disrespect,
that was a pretty stupid thing for her to say. Just think of YOU and your
baby and how the stress of worrying isn't good for either of you. It may
sound corny but maybe just some breathing or yoga exercises. That and
don't
mention it to her again until you are past that lovely three month part
where we are all supposed to relax and enjoy ourselves (ha). Do you have a
good friend that would support you other than your husband? Friends are a
great resource at times like these.

Keep us posted!

I don't think it sounds corny at all Rach... Thanks for the advice... I
think your right, it probably will just add to the stress... and considering
I'm doing my best to stay as stress free as possible, I think I'll keep my
mouth shut about it! I would have to say that all of my in-laws and friends
have been great... My mother-in-law, when she found out that we weren't
going to tell anyone until Christmas, almost freaked.. she told us that we
really shouldn't do that because it isn't the same child/pregnancy. If we
want to tell people we should! I kinda agree with that... however I have
been picking certain people to tell. Rather than just tell everyone... then
too... no one knows what I'll do next week! LOL

Thanks again!
mKd

----- Original Message -----
From: "Mogget"
Newsgroups: misc.kids.pregnancy
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2005 3:21 AM
Subject: Two Miscarriages/Pregnant Again



Maybe it's not about you, but her. Maybe what she really means is that
SHE isn't getting her hopes up.
--
Mogget

I never thought of it that way! Perhaps your right... Thanks for giving me
something else to think about... it deffinately makes it easier to 'forgive'
her!

Thanks for listening and giving me that thought! I appreciate it!
mKd

----- Original Message -----
From: "oregonchick"
Newsgroups: misc.kids.pregnancy
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2005 12:23 PM
Subject: Two Miscarriages/Pregnant Again

Mother's can be so........!@#!@%%$#!

AMEN to that!


Of course your hubby is worried, as you probably are too. After 2 mc it's
hard to NOT worry. You know your mother best - perhaps you shouldn't even
talk to her until you are past the waiting period. If you have a fairly
close relationship with your mother, tell her under no uncertain terms,
that
if she can't be supportive, then you won't talk to her. Stress and fear
can
only hurt things.

Betsy

Things are alot better now... and thanks for the advice... however I don't
think I'll need to do that... she actually told someone.. LOL... she didn't
tell anyone the last time! Mind you she still won't say that I'm pregnant,
just that the "rabbit died"... LOL...

Anyways, Thanks Betsy...

Thanks EVERYONE for listening... I need it!!

Cheers!
mKd