Present-shopping advice sought

1. I'm assembling a tool kit for a young person who is about to leave
home. I already have some of the contents, and I have ideas for more,
but I wanted to invite your creative suggestions.

2. Is it really true that you don't need to finish the edges of
polarfleece (for scarves)?

3. Would a polarfleece receiving blanket be useful? Is there
something else I could make out of polarfleece for an infant? (This
particular fabric is really cute and I want to do something.)

4. When you were pregnant, were you glad to get presents that were
about the baby and parenthood, or did you want presents about the
other parts of your life?

Louise

Louise wrote:

2. Is it really true that you don't need to finish the edges of
polarfleece (for scarves)?

True. And if you get a wavy-edged rotary
cutter, you'll even have a cool wavy edge
to the scarf without any additional work.

3. Would a polarfleece receiving blanket be useful? Is there
something else I could make out of polarfleece for an infant? (This
particular fabric is really cute and I want to do something.)

I would not have liked fleece blankets. Flannel
and cotton work better. But, YMMV.

4. When you were pregnant, were you glad to get presents that were
about the baby and parenthood, or did you want presents about the
other parts of your life?

For me personally, I liked presents about
the baby and parenthood. I have enough of
the other life stuff. (Although, of
course, one can never have enough quilting
fabric!)

-- Anita --

Louise writes:
| 2. Is it really true that you don't need to finish the edges of
| polarfleece (for scarves)?

Very true. Polarfleece doesn't unravel, and I know some folks who
have tried!

| 3. Would a polarfleece receiving blanket be useful? Is there
| something else I could make out of polarfleece for an infant? (This
| particular fabric is really cute and I want to do something.)

Polarfleece would make a nice blanket for a winter baby. If you have
the time, there are lots of things a winter baby needs that could be
made from polarfleece: a car seat cover, a snowsuit, diaper covers
(actually these are useful year-round as overnight covers for cloth
diapers), hats, mittens... but if you're not used to sewing fleece,
with only four days left until Christmas, most of these are much too
ambitious. One possible hat pattern is extremely simple, but I'm not
sure how big you'd have to make it for a newborn. You start by sewing
a tube just big enough to fit around the recipient's head. Fold up a
little at the bottom - this looks especially nice if you add piping, a
decorative trim, or even just a decorative stitch. Cut a fringe on
top, pull it in as tight as you can just below the fringe, and sew in
place.

| 4. When you were pregnant, were you glad to get presents that were
| about the baby and parenthood, or did you want presents about the
| other parts of your life?

Both my boys were born in February, and by Christmas both times I was
really tired of being pregnant. (I had pretty unpleasant pregnancies,
too.) It was fun to get presents labeled "For Baby", but I really
appreciated even little things reminding me that there was more to my
life than being a baby carrying device. I think I would have found
presents addressed to me that were really for the baby rather
depressing at that stage.

- Cindy Kandolf, mamma to Kenneth (10) and Robert (4)
****** Bærum, Norway
Bilingual Families Web Page:
http://www.nethelp.no/cindy/biling-fam.html

1. I'm assembling a tool kit for a young person who is about to leave
home. I already have some of the contents, and I have ideas for more,
but I wanted to invite your creative suggestions.

Home improvement type tools, or anything? I have done baskets of products you
need for a new start -- laundry detergent, etc. Or you can do stuff like
extension cords, those little three-prong to two-prong adapter thingies,
staplers, scissors, one of those flame-thrower lighters that's so nice for
candles and grilling, etc. Just a few thoughts. Remember, anyone moving needs
a good box cutter!

2. Is it really true that you don't need to finish the edges of
polarfleece (for scarves)?

Yup

3. Would a polarfleece receiving blanket be useful? Is there
something else I could make out of polarfleece for an infant? (This
particular fabric is really cute and I want to do something.)

I think so, for a winter baby. You can make a nice blanket by just cutting two
contrasting pieces of fleece and then cutting fringe around the edges, and then
tying the fringe together. See:

http://www.pagewise.com/fleece-throw-blankets.htm

These are super-easy. My son was making them for gifts when he was 6.

4. When you were pregnant, were you glad to get presents that were
about the baby and parenthood, or did you want presents about the
other parts of your life?

I was never pregnant, we adopted -- so I LOVED anything that said with
confidence that yes, we believe you will be a parent. For a pregnant person I
would give the baby-related thing to the baby, even if that is your main gift,
but try to remember mom with a token such as nice scented body lotion or bubble
bath.

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 12

In article ,
Louise wrote:

1. I'm assembling a tool kit for a young person who is about to leave
home. I already have some of the contents, and I have ideas for more,
but I wanted to invite your creative suggestions.

2. Is it really true that you don't need to finish the edges of
polarfleece (for scarves)?

Absolutely. One of the delightful things about polarfleece is that the
edges NEVER need finishing -- even for things like coats. If you have a
surger, you can use fancy threads to create an edge treatment that is
decorative but it isn't necessary.

Right now I'm wearing a coat I made more than 5 years ago. There is
absolutely NO fraying at the edges.


3. Would a polarfleece receiving blanket be useful? Is there
something else I could make out of polarfleece for an infant? (This
particular fabric is really cute and I want to do something.)

Sure -- so would a garment of some sort, like a very warm sleeper.
(Though a blanket would be MUCH easier!)


4. When you were pregnant, were you glad to get presents that were
about the baby and parenthood, or did you want presents about the
other parts of your life?

I had to think about this. I realize why: since my birthday is in
March, and my children were born in September and just before Christmas,
I was never pregnant at Christmas time -- and barely knew I was pregnant
in March!

I think the year the twins were born (they are turning 19 today) I
enjoyed getting a few things that were about parenting, but I'd have
been unhappy if ALL of them were about parenting -- I needed to pamper
me, too!

Louise

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Basic tool kit...
Measuring tape, level, small wood saw, hack saw, reversible variable
speed electric drill with assorted bits, a level, utility knife,
adjustable wrench (at least two sizes), 16 oz claw hammer, rubber
mallet, vice grip, set of screw drivers, couple sets of plyers of
different sizes with wire cutters, including needle nose (a must have),
a chisel, a file, a flexible blade scraper, a small paint brush, some
electrical tape.....and then a jar or tin full of assorted nails,
screws, sleeves (those plugs you put in the wall so you can put a screw
in), maybe some wire, a couple of electrical caps, picture hangers,
twist ties, couple of those nylon ties. I'd also include penetrating
oil, a little thing of varsol and some rubbing alcohol.

My oldest son is almost 14, and I'm going to get him a tool box for
Xmas and start gradually helping him build a basic kit over coming
birthdays and Christmases. Beats the heck out of a "hope chest". I
surely wish someone had given me a set of tools when I left home.
Everytime I wanted to do ANYTHING from age 18 to 32 (when I married), I
had to go to the hardware store as I slowly, slowly figured out and
accumulated the basics.

Polar fleece....you don't have to finish the ends, but its nice to cut
it into a wide fringe (each piece 1 ") with a knot at the end closest
to the fabric. I think polar fleece is great stuff, and it would make a
dynamite baby blanket. Soft, pretty and WASHABLE.

Pregnancy presents....I think I would lean to presents for mom as a
person - i.e. I got tons of baby presents, but very little for the care
and pampering of the vessel the baby was growing in. Sometimes it can
feel like the only reason you are getting attention is because of baby.
Mary G.
Mom of three

wrote:

Complete agreement with the tools for when someone is
leaving the house. Extremely practical and so very
needed, especially when it's most inconvenient! You
might also include a recipe file, and some measuring
cups, and a pan or two.

And like 12-yo Henry, DS has also taken two pieces
of polartech and made a blanket (and pillow) for
gifts. Very nice *and washable*.

Pregnancy presents....I think I would lean to presents for mom as a
person - i.e. I got tons of baby presents, but very little for the care
and pampering of the vessel the baby was growing in. Sometimes it can
feel like the only reason you are getting attention is because of baby.


Um, why is having a child such a gift-grab? I can
understand the baby-shower stuff -- many first-time
parents don't really know what they'll need when
the baby is finally with them and they're alone
with it. But why does a pregnant woman need
extra treats -- lotions, bath oils -- from
people other than extremely close friends with
whom she might be sharing everything? (And
what's the father doing here? Is he offering
any support at all? Why are you all giving
gifts with the implicit message that he's not
doing enough?)

Having said that , I'll say that I would *not*
give the mother a gift -- unless you are very
close to her and give her gifts for birthdays.
The last shower BH went to, she gave the unborn
a cashmere sweater. Not practical *at all*, but
extremely high on the Cute Scale. (This was for
the 3rd of 3 sons, not like the parents really
needed anything at this point).

Scott, DD 11 and DS 8+

Um, why is having a child such a gift-grab? I can
understand the baby-shower stuff -- many first-time
parents don't really know what they'll need when
the baby is finally with them and they're alone
with it. But why does a pregnant woman need
extra treats -- lotions, bath oils -- from
people other than extremely close friends with
whom she might be sharing everything?

Um, I guess because of the season I assumed this was not a baby shower but a
Holiday gift of some sort, and the OP was trying to determine if it would be OK
to give a pregnant woman with whom the OP would normally exchange gifts a gift
for the baby. I think most of us are voting some version of no -- give the
baby stuff to the baby but if you are exchanging with a pregnant woman the gift
should be *for* her.

My version (the one that included the bath stuff) was that if you want to give
the *main* gift (i.e. most of what you would normally spend) to the baby, fine,
but remember the mom in some small, caring way. I assumed, since this is
someone the OP exchanges Holiday gifts with, that there was a level of
closeness there that would make lotions or bubble bath (which we've given to
teachers, secretaries, etc) OK.

BTW I agree if it's a baby shower there is no need for a gift for Mom.

(And
what's the father doing here? Is he offering
any support at all? Why are you all giving
gifts with the implicit message that he's not
doing enough?)

Whoa, I'm not sure where you got that idea, Scott. I didn't see any husband
bashing here (and I'm very aware that we women have a tendency to do that and
it sucks for sensitive men who have to put up with those generalizations). I
don't consider lotion or bubble bath any sort of implication of non-support
from a spouse or partner. Gee, maybe I should check back with the hundreds of
folks I've exchanged that stuff with... hope they didn't think I was implying
they had no warmth and comfort in their lives beyond the little something I
gave them ;-)

The last shower BH went to, she gave the unborn
a cashmere sweater. Not practical *at all*, but
extremely high on the Cute Scale. (This was for
the 3rd of 3 sons, not like the parents really
needed anything at this point).

I, too, love to use showers and baby gifts as an excuse to buy the impractical
on occasion, especially for close friends and relatives who I know have enough
of the essentials, or who have the resources to buy what they need. Gifts are
best, I think, when they are luxuries.

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 12

dragonlady wrote in
:

4.**When*you*were*pregnant,*were*you*glad*to*get*p resents*that*were
about the baby and parenthood, or did you want presents about the
other parts of your life?

I had to think about this.**I*realize*why:**since*my*birthday*is*in
March, and my children were born in September and just before Christmas,
I was never pregnant at Christmas time -- and barely knew I was pregnant
in March!

Same he we announced two pregnancies at Christmas, and choose not to
announce the third at Christmas. All but one kid had been born by my
birthday.

If it is a Christmas present for the mum, make it something for her: at
most have a present that is a book on childcare. There is nothing wrong
though with a present for the bump.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 17:14:40 EST,
(Iowacookiemom) wrote:

Um, I guess because of the season I assumed this was not a baby shower but a
Holiday gift of some sort, and the OP was trying to determine if it would be OK
to give a pregnant woman with whom the OP would normally exchange gifts a gift
for the baby. I think most of us are voting some version of no -- give the
baby stuff to the baby but if you are exchanging with a pregnant woman the gift
should be *for* her.

My version (the one that included the bath stuff) was that if you want to give
the *main* gift (i.e. most of what you would normally spend) to the baby, fine,
but remember the mom in some small, caring way.

I'm the original poster, so I could clarify here. I don't think any
of my relatives read here so I'm safe being a bit more specific. Yes,
this is seasonal gift-giving for relatives. For the families of my
brothers with children, I buy or make something for each nibling, and
something little for the adults. For my sister and b-i-l who don't
have kids, I've always given them more substantial gifts (either
something to share or something separate.) But now they are
expecting. So I will still give them something nice for themselves
that is not about the baby, and address my cute token present for the
future nibling *to* the future nibling, not to sis and b-i-l. Thank
you all for that idea! We don't have a cultural tradition against
buying baby things ahead of time, but one person e-mailed me to remind
me that some people do, which is a good point.

I'm sorry that my original post came out sounding sexist and
biological-parent-ist (if that is a word) when I said "When you were
pregnant" - I should have said "When you were expecting your first
child" because that is what I meant. I always appreciate the input
of Scott, Kevin, and other male members of this group, as well as that
of Dawn and other adoptive parents, and I'm sorry my phrasing excluded
you.

Louise