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#61
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
Beliavsky wrote in
oups.com: I think children with educated and caring SAHM moms who never go to day care or preschool can do just as well as kids who attend them. I don't think I have asserted that day care and preschool cause cognitive *deficiencies*, I am just questioning that they have cognitive *benefits*, especially lasting ones, for kids with good mothers at home. yeah, well, the NH ChildFind services disagree with you. apparently they felt strongly enough that i should put my 3 year old into their DD preschool that they threatened me with removing him from my home if i did not. the reason they gave? he needed peer group involvement & i was "overly involved" with him. yeaaaaah. i enrolled him in a private preschool. not a damn thing they could do then. lee who refused to let them label him either |
#62
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
Nan wrote in
: On Thu, 6 Dec 2007 16:07:18 +0000 (UTC), enigma wrote: not to mention that after a time unemployed people 'fall off' the unemployment rolls. if you have been out of work for long enough to run out of employment compensation (i think it's 16 or 18 months, but it's been a while since i got employment compensation), or if you have just given up on finding a job because there aren't any you are qualified for in your area, then you 'fall off' the unemployment roll and are no longer counted in the % unemployed. also, if you work for *one hour* during a quarter, you are not counted as unemployed... so you can take those wonderfully low unemployment figures with a huge grain of salt. technically i'm unemployed because i don't work and am able to (although one field i'm eligable to work in is retail & i'm highly chemical sensitive to formaldyhide and the ink on US currency, so i can't work in a mall or handle cash. there's not much call for sys admins that don't do Winbloze around here either), but i'm certainly not counted in that 4.7%, as i'm not particularly seeking employment & i don't qualify for compensation anymore. Neither am I counted. I'm not sure what the unemployment rate for our particular county is, but I know it's not an accurate accounting. Besides, Beliavsky is pointing out only one factor that makes up an economy.... rising prices on everything affect the economy as well. and the sub-prime mortgage fiasco hasn't bubbled yet either. things are going to get worse. lee |
#63
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article , enigma says...
Beliavsky wrote in oups.com: I think children with educated and caring SAHM moms who never go to day care or preschool can do just as well as kids who attend them. I don't think I have asserted that day care and preschool cause cognitive *deficiencies*, I am just questioning that they have cognitive *benefits*, especially lasting ones, for kids with good mothers at home. yeah, well, the NH ChildFind services disagree with you. apparently they felt strongly enough that i should put my 3 year old into their DD preschool that they threatened me with removing him from my home if i did not. the reason they gave? he needed peer group involvement & i was "overly involved" with him. yeaaaaah. i enrolled him in a private preschool. not a damn thing they could do then. lee who refused to let them label him either Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this power and mixed up in your life?? Banty |
#64
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article
, Beliavsky wrote: Just as we have no way of knowing that YOUR judgmentalism and devotion to the cult of *intelligence* won't irreparably harm YOUR kids. That's a cheap shot. The intelligence researchers I have cited do not lead a "cult", and what I have said on the subject is representative of "Mainstream Science on Intelligence" http://www.udel.edu/educ/gottfredson...mainstream.pdf . Actually, your views on giftedness are not quite mainstream. For example, grade skipping is not The Solution for all gifted children (which is what you have asserted here previously). It is a good solution (and a cost-effective one) for many gifted children, but it is not the only way gifted children can or should be catered for. My impression of your understanding of giftedness is that it is sound, but not broad. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#65
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
Banty wrote in
: Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this power and mixed up in your life?? he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue & face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g) anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time because there aren't other kids around. well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) & overly attached to me. he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to play that game). so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed preschool & i thought they were crazy. lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school |
#66
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article
, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward wrote: I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less. amusement The exact way I hurt DS1 by doing the same thing! He has a March birthday but started day care the January before he turned two. He's now six and not displaying any worrying signs that I can see. DS2 started day care at gasp 21 months. I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. The only thing that concerns me is the "structured educational setting". THat *should* mean a well-structured day with different kinds of play: not worksheets, forming letters, or any of that sort of thing. Children learn by playing, not by being forced to study early. I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months. The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a child should be kept at home until age 3. I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with us for six months. Already a huge luxury! What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any scientific backing to my relative's claims. Up to the relative to produce the evidence, and it had better be strong evidence to make giving up your job a good option. The stuff I've seen pretty much indicates that bad day care IS bad, but good day care is at worst good fun for kids, and at best is very positive for kids at risk. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#67
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article ,
Ericka Kammerer wrote: My concern is her (physical) health as she will inevitably go down with something pretty soon. This was the crux of my relative's argument - that a child under 3 is best left protected at home. Maybe I should have said this more explicitly in my original post. Oh, pbbbthb on the health issue. If the child were immune compromised, that would be a problem, but otherwise, it's not the end of the earth for kids to get sick. They're going to start building up their immune systems sooner or later. Sure, she'll come home with crud (and likely pass it on to you), but keeping her home will just postpone that process until later. Of course, you will need to have a plan in place for days when she is sick. In our case, it's: I stay home when DS2 is sick (he BFs) DH works from home if DS1 is sick. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#68
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article ,
Ericka Kammerer wrote: The big challenge is that few people know how to evaluate quality daycare or preschool programs, so many just sort of freeze and don't ask a lot of questions or don't spend some real time in the center to see for themselves how things are going. While I think that it is difficult to *create* a good classroom, it's one of those things that if you only have to *evaluate* it, it's not all that difficult. You may not know precisely what you'd need to do to be a great childcare provider, but you'll know a good situation when you see it if you spend some time there and drop in unannounced on occasion. I'm not sure why people feel so inhibited about asking to see classrooms in action, but that's ultimately what you need to do. It's possible for the childcare providers to try to put on a show for you, but the kids don't lie. You can see from their behavior how things are going. Going by my one bad experience: 1. Go with your gut. If you get a bad vibe, cross it off your list. 2. Look around, so you get an idea of what happens at day cares. 3. Do not base your decision on the newness and shininess of the facilities. 4. Read the daily programme. 5. If the director is not trained in child care, leave immediately. 6. If the office is disorganised, leave immediately. I should have known it was bad because the Xmas tree was stuck upside down in a box on the office floor, the files were higgledy-piggledy, and the director handed money from his own wallet to staff for a petty cash purchase -- without recording anything! 7. One crying child does not mean the day care is bad. Avoid places where the children don't display emotion/animation or where children appear cowed/depressed. Look at how the staff handle the crying child, and look at how the other children respond. 8. A children's vegetable garden is a good sign. 9. Low turnover of staff is a good sign. 10. A long waiting list is a good sign. 11. Lots of artwork on the walls -- in different media -- is a good sign. 12. Wooden equipment (shelves, toy stove, etc) is a good sign. 13. Frequent use of stencils (do you call them that? Photocopied material for kids to colour in) is a bad sign. The only thing I disagree with Ericka about is dropping in unannounced; I think that's rude, and it can be very inconvenient for the carers. Certainly you should not pop in between 11:30 and 2pm; that's lunch and nap time. Day care centres will ask you to come at about 10:30am, as a rule, which is usually when they are having a quieter, organised indoor activity after the more vigorous activity earlier, but the children are not yet tired out and cranky! Bear in mind that in my context, we have strict State and Federal regulations about such matters as floor space ratios, carer ratios, and so forth. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#69
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article
, Beliavsky wrote: That standard should apply both to people who tell the OP to send to her daughter to day care and to those who advise against it. But a blanket statement "Your daughter will do just fine", made by someone who knows neither the child or the day care center, raises no hackles, except from me. My questioning such a blanket statement, without telling what the OP what she should do, does upset people. There is a double standard when it comes to discussing the merits of day care, both in this group and the media in general. DS1 has been a subject in a large longitudinal study of Australian children on the merits (or lack of them) of day care, precisely because of the biassed/inadequate nature of some earlier studies. Here is the project website: http://www.aces.mq.edu.au/childcarechoices/index.htm -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#70
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article
, Beliavsky wrote: I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being around other 2yo's. But you don't *know*. DS2 is getting quite a few things at day care that he doesn't get at home. He plays with kids who don't necessarily speak English very well, and are of various cultural backgrounds. Most are of a lower SES than our family -- we live in a lower middle class area. He plays with materials I'd never be bothered with at home and plays games he would not get here. You can't really play Sandy Girl with only two children! Day care, as I see it, is a substitute for playing with the kids in the street -- which is what my parents got to do as children. It breaks down social barriers and broadens the mind. I am quite competent to see to my child's education myself, and to his morals, but I cannot provide the experience of diversity (or of being in a large group of children). Most of my friends and family are Anglophone, well-off and tertiary-educated. I'd hate it if he thought that "everyone" lived like that -- and I've met plenty of people who do! -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
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