Don't know if you'll remember me.... but I need your help~!

There is no way to totally shield someone from negativity all their lives.

What about when the kid comes home crying because so and so doesn't want to
be her friend n

Okay, I do agree about how you can't shield your kids from life, but I gotta
really disagree with you here, TIffany, a teacher that spends so much time with
a kid and has SO much effect on a kid who has already made up their mind about
a child has way too much influence on the child to tolerate. Especially at
that young age. If it was one high school teacher out of a five, say, I might
tell the kid to grin and bear it, but second grade? No way. Going to the
principal, pulling the kid out, confronting the teacher, these are all the
right things to do.

Damn, you must live in a bubble. Have you learnt to deal with
people or do you just run from them? (Not really a question you need to
answer)

I think now you are just being defensive because you were challenged that
maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to allow your child to be exposed as
long as she was to a negative teacher. Well maybe it wasn't as bad for your
kid, maybe making her stick it out was the righ for her, in that situation.
You know best. But instead of being so intent on defending what you did, try
to see the bigger picture and how the influence of a teacher (especially in
lower grades) is something parents have a responsiblity to take a more active
role in than, say, little spats between young children.

Joelle

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

dolores wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

in message
om...
snip



Damaged? LMAO..... no I don't think if she becomes damaged that I can
blame
it on one teacher many years ago.

Ok, lets use your logic then, shall we!....

You are saying that in no way could the negativity of one person, say a
teacher have a life long and deeply profound affect on a child ....

Then you must agree that the converse is also true....that in no way
could
the *positive* words or actions, have a profoundly inspirational effect


There is no way to totally shield someone from negativity all their lives.

Where did I say otherwise, and since you havent contradicted my supposition
then I can only assume that you either agree, but admitting that would seem
to be a back down on your part...or disagree but cant find a good enough
arguement to prove me wrong. I may well be wrong, but somehow I dont think
you are in possession of enough material to do so.

Maybe you havent given this topic the depth of thought that maybe you
should......as a mother. There are an amazing amount of children, now
adults, that have their teachers to thank for their expertise or
world-renowned talent....and conversely.....need I continue!?!?!

Our children are a product of what we feed them, physically,
spiritually,
morally and most important...mentally! Our opinion of it is neither
here
nor there, what matters is how it's impacted on our children.



Maybe the kid will be damaged if she is catered too also. The
child
is
in
second grade..... no ill comments have been made to the child. The
mother
is
the one hurt right now.


It because of parents, with an attitude like yours, that we have
to deal with such bad teachers day in and day out....and our
children
leave
school with a 2nd rate education...They *know* they can get away
with
it....and they do get away with it.....We as parents have to
stand
up
and
make ourselves heard.....

We are lucky for any education the kids get and if its second
rate...
educate your kid yourself.

And this is the reason why even the Irish drop-outs are better
educated
than
the American High School achievers.....

Its not just the teachers who should be teaching
the kids. I teach my kid that not everyone is going to be the way
she
wants
them to be.

In others words to accept second best.

Its not accepting second best.... its accepting people for who they
are.

Accepting people for who they are....does not mean what you seem to
think
it
does. Then, when your child comes home from school, distraught, crying,
hurt, ...your response will be.....Ah, get over it....if it's the worse
thing you ever experience then you'll be doing well......

What about when the kid comes home crying because so and so doesn't want
to
be her friend no more or the boy next to her doesn't like her..... you
suggest the parent remove child from that group of kids?

And this issue arose where excatly?

My point is
sometimes a kid needs to deal with a situation. I still don't see where
the
teacher was actually mean to the kid directly. But as I have posted to the
OP and she has replied, arguring with you is not really necessary.


But you still chose to all the same.
This
isn't about you or me, remember?

As I've already told you, but you insist on making it so.

lol But as you say no one should be around
negativity... how do you do such a good job not ever having negativity
around you? Damn, you must live in a bubble. Have you learnt to deal with
people or do you just run from them? (Not really a question you need to
answer)

And still insist...

Snipped



You can tell the difference between right and wrong? You don't think
its
ok
to be rude but have in turn insulted me and my parenting skills

Well if you've taken what I've said as an insult, then so be it. I cant
be
responsible for your interpretation of what I write.

You have been rude or more then one occasion..... I am not just talking
about now, I am talking in general.

And *still* trying to focus on my character. Rather think you are the one
that has shown a predisposition towards rudeness, not I.


and through
in a bit about who Irish are better then USA students. Hmm... yeah,
ok.

Dont you mean *throw* in a bit.....

And now nitpicking about grammer.... lovely... this coming from someone
who
posts yer.... along with your other Irish slang.

Do I really need to point out that there is a vast difference between the
use of dialect and poor grammer.




Have
a nice day.

I should have posted instead, have a nice life as my dialogue with you is
over. I am not debating with someone who has now resorted to pointing out
grammer mistakes.

LOLOL...... but it's ok for you to be rude... Well what's sauce for the
goose is sauce for the gander...only I chose *not* to be insulting or
offensive or deliberately beligerent.

It's bedtime actually.......

And that matters to me? lol

Get over yerself and get a grip Tiffany.


Dolores

"dolores" wrote in message
...
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

snip

And now nitpicking about grammer.... lovely... this coming from someone
who posts yer.... along with your other Irish slang.

Do I really need to point out that there is a vast difference between the
use of dialect and poor grammer.

Just as a point of information, it's spelled grammar. Around here it is
anyway. ;-)


--
Paul Griffiths

I don't remember you, nor have I read any replies to this particular topic.
In kindergarden, my teacher was an extremely good one, if I remember
correctly. For some reason, looking back, I do believe I was definitely a
teacher's pet. I walked into kindergarden being able to tie my own shoes,
read a book, spell, say the alphabet, I knew my address, with postal code
included, and all that stuff that, generally, not every kid knew back then.
Only problem was, I read things backwards at times, and wrote letters and
numbers backwards. That teacher passed it off as a general problem that
some kids sometimes have with reading and writing at a fairly young age. It
was guessed that once everything was taught to me in a class, mostly in
grade 1, that would pass.
In the first grade, when we were learning to print our letters, I still
wrote letters and numbers backwards, even with a reference right infront of
me on the board. I do remember trying to copy the teacher exactly, but
printed letters and phrases would come out as a mirror image or backwards.
I remember shortly after school started my teacher called me stupid in
class. I ended up leaving school and walking the 10 or so blocks home,
crying. My mom called the school, mainly to express her disapproval and
shock at that teacher's pure ignorance and meanness. My mom talked to the
teacher and the teacher went on to explain that she didn't *really* think I
was stupid, but it just happened to "slip out" and that she figured I just
might be a bit bored in her class - IMHO, even today, that was very, very
unprofessional, and downright nasty.
After many, many tests and such, someone then concluded that although my
test scores were excellent, I was, indeed, dyslexic, and very bored in
class. To this day, it is actually easier for me to write things as a
mirror image, and I'm long out of first grade. My hand writing is nearly
impossible to read, but written as a mirror image, and held up to a mirror,
it is almost the perfect and ideal script.
See if there is anything available to you to check for dyslexia, and even
boredom or depression. If your daughter is getting good grades in school
with her last teacher, I highly doubt she is stupid or unable to learn. She
just might be bored in her class or intimidated by her current teacher.
What her current teacher did to her last year is just unacceptable, and I
believe that rather than look for flaws in your daughter, and possibly other
students, he should be finding things that she is good at and encouraging
them, and finding things she is weaker at and working on them.
ADD and ADHD seem to be diagnosed for almost everything nowadays when,
really, the problem could lie far from that.

Just my 2¢. I have no idea what others said, so I might be saying the exact
same things that have been said, or I might be saying the exact opposite.
Just an opinion from what MIGHT possibly be closer to being in your
daughter's shoes.

Hi There,

My doctor ruled that out. She write letters backwards occassionally.
But not always and not always the same letters. There was one
occassion in the class where she did mirror the blackboard, and did
not even space her letters. In grade two maybe the 4th or 5th day of
school. I have no explanation. Nerves maybe? Her grade one grade for
reading was B+ and B for writting. Most everything else was A- to A.

Here is what her report card summerizes for grade 1.

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Steps:

_Child_ completes tasks in a timely fashion and works well with little
supervision. She is able to focus herself and seldom requires
reminders to attend to her own work. _Child_ strives to persevere with
tasks that require sustained effort. She has shown progress in her
abilities to work and play cooperatively with others in the classroom
and in the school community and is encouraged next year to
consistently apply stragies learned to resolve conflicts
appropriately. _Child_ has demonstrated some goal setting abilities to
identify areas where tasks can be improved. A commendable effort all
year round _child_!

C

"treebeard" wrote in message ...
"©kat©" wrote in message
news:j_xab.13$it5.1@edtnps84...

It is possible that she has a learning disability but it is also possible
that what is being reported are symptoms of stress.

I wondered about that, but her work at home is fantastic, and I was
really not able to view much of anything else in the class room except
her drawing/explanation of why she was special. On the left side it
was well written and was that one sentence completely backwards and
unspaced. I never had a chance to figure out what it said, or where
she copied it from.

You need to have her
evaluated by a professional to know for sure. Absent minded, being afraid
to talk to him after walking towards his desk, being unfocussed, the
backwards letters being used more often than normally - a slight problem
normally controllable by her - are all possible signs of stress. Would I be
correct in guessing that her second first grade teacher was a woman?

Yes it would. Though he was her first teacher for the first week, and
she had a male teacher and a female in JK and SK in private school.
She seemed to be alright with it.

I would suggest an evaluation by either an MSW social worker

What is an MSW social worker?

or a
Psychologist to pick up on problems other than learning ones and I would
have a doctor give her a complete physical to be sure nothing is missed.

The only male figure in her life right now (aside from her teacher) is
her biological father, who is a great dad, and very much a part of her
life. She loves spending time with him. & her teacher. Though, I don't
even know the last time she had a physical, she was just examined and
x-rayed because I was concerned about her step being inturned. The
results revealed, her bones were forming fine in her knee's and hips,
and she did not require a orthapathic doctor to look at it furhter.
She was encouraged to walk heel toe, and feet straight, don't sit on
her feet. etc.

I can ask for a physical, I am confident she's fine. She started to
get emotional after she started grade 2, 3rd day with this teacher.
The comments are not normal or professional. Think about it. It's only
the end of the 3rd week, in between he was off for an entire week, and
there was a PA day. He said she was absent minded the first day of
school. Made all these very serious observations in less then 10 days
of knowing her in a classroom of 30 kids!

After reading and re-reading over and over again the synopsis of grade
1's report, and then listening to this dude, I'm kinda wondering, just
how screwed in the head he is?? Punkins and I travelled all summer.
She was happy as a kid in a toy store. I do know this: If she comes
to me, when I'm in mid nap or telephone conversation, I snap at her
and say What! What is it!! It is typical for her to say "I forgot" not
because she forgot, but - because I yelled. No, I'm not perfect. But I
can tell, that he must have used a tone of voice that intimidated her.
She only said "I forgot" once to him. That is by no means indicative
of absent mindedness. She does get the odd E or #3 backwards. Her work
from last year shows the same with S's and 5's, occassional Z's. But
years end it was pretty accurate and very legible.

So, I can do all this work, physicals, professionals, search for signs
of stressors. I'd really prefer to get her into a different class.
It's my gut it is the teacher. Not a male thing. It's the teacher. He
makes her feel bad, and frankly he makes me feel bad. Even if she does
end up diagnosed with a learning disability, he does not makes it
sound acceptable, rather, like "DO SOMETHING NOW MISS PUNKINS MUM!" I
am doin my darn best here!


C

Roger - who is not in the field and will not give advice as that should come
from the professionals she sees.

He said "if I wanted to talk further, we could set up
an appointment". I asked him, then what is the purpose of this meeting
and you saing these things???? Long story short, I left, angry and
upset. I left a message for the principal to contact me and kept her
home today, to take her to her pediatrician incase I am missing
something.

Does this sound right to any of you guys? Has anyone had similar
experiences? I take care of alot of her freinds from that class, and
from her previous class. I don't see a HUGE difference in behavior or
scholastic endevours. I could be missing something, but I honestly
think it's this teacher. If you have suggestions in dealing with this,
on a professional, and nonemotional level, please help me out here.
I'm freakin right out.

Thanks,

C

Joelle wrote in message
...
There is no way to totally shield someone from negativity all their
lives.

What about when the kid comes home crying because so and so doesn't want
to
be her friend n

Okay, I do agree about how you can't shield your kids from life, but I
gotta
really disagree with you here, TIffany, a teacher that spends so much time
with
a kid and has SO much effect on a kid who has already made up their mind
about
a child has way too much influence on the child to tolerate. Especially
at
that young age. If it was one high school teacher out of a five, say, I
might
tell the kid to grin and bear it, but second grade? No way. Going to
the
principal, pulling the kid out, confronting the teacher, these are all the
right things to do.

Damn, you must live in a bubble. Have you learnt to deal with
people or do you just run from them? (Not really a question you need to
answer)

I think now you are just being defensive because you were challenged that
maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to allow your child to be exposed
as
long as she was to a negative teacher. Well maybe it wasn't as bad for
your
kid, maybe making her stick it out was the righ for her, in that
situation.
You know best. But instead of being so intent on defending what you did,
try
to see the bigger picture and how the influence of a teacher (especially
in
lower grades) is something parents have a responsiblity to take a more
active
role in than, say, little spats between young children.

Joelle

Joelle, I have never stated that a teacher doesn't influence a child. But
there is nothing stating that the teacher did say anything mean spirited to
the child. The fact is other things could be going on emotionally with this
child and that seems to be over looked. I don't comment on any learning
disability as that is something I can't associate with. I will comment on
that child experience stress, emotions, ect. Yes, the teacher should say
positive things about the child but why assume that if the child is being
emotional, its because the teacher is mean? When I mentioned the one teacher
being hard on my child, his intent was as he stated " I know she can do more
if she tries." At one point I thought he did have it out for her. But then
he told me the above statement. He was very hard on her when grading. He was
not a negative teacher. If I ever said he was actually a negative teacher, I
take that back. I don't feel I was challenged about how I raise my kid, I
felt someone was trying to insult me for my parenting skills. My initial
point was that it is not always best to jump the gun and pull a child out of
a classroom. There could be other things going on. It was also my thought
that kids DO have to learn that everyone is different, so teachers are
different too. Some expect a lot, others don't. Some you can easily get A's,
others you have to work hard for those A's. As for the teacher telling
parents that their children have LD's, ADD, or ADHD..... Only a doctor can
diagnose and only the parent can agree to medicate a child.

I am sure the OP and her child will be fine and if put into another class
room will do great. As this situation is causing Mom stress, it is best she
do what she has to do. I just wanted to offer different incite on the
matter. All teachers have different expectations and I just wonder if this
teacher in discussion has higher expectations then the others at that grade?
He did apparently teacher higher grades so its possible.

Also wanting to add..... I vaguely remembered when Carla first posted about
her daughter last year. She did have issues with the fact the teacher was
male and she thought it might have "through her off" that this male wasn't
all about fun and games like her father, who is a weekend father and doesn't
discipline much.

Thanks for your opinion Joelle. I always appreciate your honesty.

Ignore any errors in my grammar, spelling, typing skills, ect.

T

dolores wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

snipped



Damaged? LMAO..... no I don't think if she becomes damaged that I
can
blame
it on one teacher many years ago.

Ok, lets use your logic then, shall we!....

You are saying that in no way could the negativity of one person, say
a
teacher have a life long and deeply profound affect on a child ....

Then you must agree that the converse is also true....that in no way
could
the *positive* words or actions, have a profoundly inspirational
effect


There is no way to totally shield someone from negativity all their
lives.

Where did I say otherwise, and since you havent contradicted my
supposition
then I can only assume that you either agree, but admitting that would
seem
to be a back down on your part...or disagree but cant find a good enough
arguement to prove me wrong. I may well be wrong, but somehow I dont think
you are in possession of enough material to do so.


I never said negativity doesn't affect people. But there is no way to avoid
it. Please read my response to Joelle. I am tired of stating that other
factors could be in play here and have nothing to do with the teacher. I
have also wished the OP well and the child too.

snipped




lol But as you say no one should be around
negativity... how do you do such a good job not ever having negativity
around you? Damn, you must live in a bubble. Have you learnt to deal
with
people or do you just run from them? (Not really a question you need to
answer)

And still insist...

When do you start letting your kids learn the difference in people, good or
bad? I do not think it is good to have a kid around negative things/people.
Again, please read my response to Joelle.

Snipped

And *still* trying to focus on my character. Rather think you are the one
that has shown a predisposition towards rudeness, not I.

Come on now..... read back. This is becoming childish. "You were rude
first.... no, you were." I can do a google search and show you some rudeness
you displayed so please don't go there. I don't have the time.

LOLOL...... but it's ok for you to be rude... Well what's sauce for the
goose is sauce for the gander...only I chose *not* to be insulting or
offensive or deliberately beligerent.


One will typically reply in a defensive manner when their parenting skills
are attacked. Not a strange consept. So I did throw in what one might call
an insult after that point. But for you to say you didn't insult? Alteast I
admit it when emotion gets the best of me. I wonder though, why when the OP
didn't agree with me and stated in a adult way, even when Joelle commented
that she also didn't agree, in a adult way...... why is it just you and I
who continue argueing? Hmm... I know. They didn't insult.... they pointed
out their feelings and didn't tell me I was going to have a damaged kid or
that I was allowing second best for my kid.
As much as I regret that tempation got the best of me and I had to reply to
you, Delores, this is not helpful to anyone so it is useless to go on.
In the end, if you really read my replies to Joelle and the OP you will see
that I am not against the child being removed from the teacher. There are
other things to consider though.
Thank you for all your insight.
Have a nice day/night/afternoon/evening.

Paul Griffiths wrote in message
...
"dolores" wrote in message
...
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

snip

And now nitpicking about grammer.... lovely... this coming from
someone
who posts yer.... along with your other Irish slang.

Do I really need to point out that there is a vast difference between
the
use of dialect and poor grammer.

Just as a point of information, it's spelled grammar. Around here it is
anyway. ;-)


--
Paul Griffiths



You are such a smart ass. lol

T

"Carla" wrote in message
m...
"treebeard" wrote in message
...
"©kat©" wrote in message
news:j_xab.13$it5.1@edtnps84...

I would suggest an evaluation by either an MSW social worker

What is an MSW social worker?


MSW is a social worker with a masters degree. In the United States in most
states, including my own, a BSW - bachelor of social work - can work with
the supervision of an MSW under state licensing law. There are also PhDs
but very few or there were very few in the 80's, I haven't followed the
field much since then and there might be more now.


I can ask for a physical, I am confident she's fine.

Possibly, but better safe than sorry.


So, I can do all this work, physicals, professionals, search for signs
of stressors. I'd really prefer to get her into a different class.

That might be a good idea as well. I did not rule it in or out.

It's my gut it is the teacher. Not a male thing.

Quite possible, I didn't say it wasn't. I know that there might be more too
it so I suggested you see professionals and find out for certain. If
nothing is wrong what do you lose and if anything is wrong you can deal with
it.
Roger - who is not in the field and will not give advice as that should
come from the professionals she sees.

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
Paul Griffiths wrote in message
...
"dolores" wrote in message
...
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

snip

And now nitpicking about grammer.... lovely... this coming from
someone who posts yer.... along with your other Irish slang.

Do I really need to point out that there is a vast difference between
the use of dialect and poor grammer.

Just as a point of information, it's spelled grammar. Around here it is
anyway. ;-)

You are such a smart ass. lol

And one who enjoys living dangerously on occasion. :-))


--
Paul Griffiths