OT -- Scary Weekend...

Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my
real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very
long...

We had a very scary weekend, and I think we're all still in shock. It all
started out well -- Dh and I were going to drive up to my Dad & Step-Mom's
house, spend the night, then leave the kids with them and go up to Lake
Tahoe. We were going to spend 1 night at the Mont Bleu hotel and see the
English Beat in concert. We were both really looking forward to the
weekend. 1 night and 2 days away. Instead, we ended up in the ER, dh spent
2 nights/days in the hospital, and came out with a pacemaker. Here's how it
happened:

About 4 days ago something odd happened, but we wrote it off. We were on
our way to bed, and dh grabbed a couple cans to take them out to the garage
to put in the recycling bin. I heard a thud, like he had dropped a case of
bottled water or something. I was in a different room, so called out to
him, "Rob, are you okay?" He didn't answer. I called again, really not
thinking anything was remiss or worried at all. He didn't answer. He has
the annoying husband tendancy of not answering me sometimes, and it was also
possible that he was in the garage so hadn't heard me, so that's why I
wasn't worried. So I call out a third time, while walking towards the
butlers pantry hallway and the garage door. I see his foot on the ground,
and go over to him. He's sitting partway up. I asked him if he was okay,
and he said yes, but he didn't sound very sure of himself. I asked him what
happened, and he said, "I must have tripped."
"You tripped?"
"Yeah, I think so. I tripped on this rug."
"Did you hit your head? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I think I'm okay."
"Well why are you still sitting there."
"I'm just collecting myself."
So I helped him up, he sort of shook it off, put the recycling in the bin,
and we went up to bed. We talked about it a little more, and I kept
thinking it was pretty odd that he had tripped on a rug that's been there
for 4+ years, but eventually let it go.

So, the weekend approached. We were originally going to try to drive up to
my folks house mid-day (about an hour and 15 minute drive) on Thursday, and
he would have his phone and laptop and continue to work. Things at work
have been REALLY stressful for him, as Sprint just announced ANOTHER round
of layoffs (3rd time in 3 years), and he's going to lose a bunch of his
crew, so plans changed and he wasn't going to be able to take off early on
Thursday. So we decided to take 2 cars. I'd go up with the girls, and he'd
come later, hopefully in time for dinner, but basically when he could.

The girls and I got there around 4:30 and hung out. Dh called to say that
he'd probably be there around 8pm. We had dinner and put the girls to bed,
and dh arrived. We saved a plate of food for him, and sat at the dining
room table while he ate dinner, chatting and drinking wine.

Around 10:30 we had all migrated towards the hallway to say goodnight and go
to bed. I went over to lock the front door, and Dh went into the family
room to pick up our overnight bag and his breifcase. He walked back up the
hallway to where my folks were standing, and then suddenly was on the floor.
He feel straight backwards. I ran over to him and knelt down next to him.
His eyes were open but he was not right, and he was breathing. It wasn't a
seizure like Taylor had (my first thought), but he was not responsive.

After a couple seconds he "woke up" and looked at me and then my folks, and
got a puzzled look on his face. I asked him if he was okay, and he said,
"...yes..." with a tone like "Why are you staring at me, why am I on the
ground, and why are you asking me if I'm okay?" I asked him if he knew what
happened, and he didn't, so we told him that he had fainted or passed out.
He was clearly shaken. He said he felt fine right and had no memory of it.
We talked a little bit more about it, trying to make sense of it. We were
all shaken up at this point.

A little backstory: 10 years ago when we were in the process of losing
Nathan, Rob had fainted one night. We had been on our way to bed, in the
bathroom. I was brushing my teeth and he was peeing, and peeing, and
peeing. I made a joke about Austin Powers, and suddenly he fell onto the
floor behind me. He was out for a few seconds and then woke up and was
fine. I made him go to the ER. We were there until all hours of the night
and early morning, and the end result was basically that he was perfectly
healthy and under a lot of stress (no duh!), and that urinating actually can
affect your blood flow.

So, we talk about that incident, and how they were probably the same thing.
Everyone seemed okay, dh seemed fine, and we grabbed our bags and went
upstairs. We went into our room and sat on the edge of the bed. My folks
came in and we were still sort of mulling it over, when dh leaned
precariously over to his side. At first I thought he was kidding, but
quickly realized that he had lost consciousness again. I grabbed him and
laid him back on the bed, and told my step-mom to call 911. A couple
seconds later he came to, and got a puzzled and then scared look on his
face. Again he had no idea what just happened, and no memory of it. We
talked it through some more, and he said that he fell totally normal and
fine, but heard a slight mechanical buzzing sound and felt a flush go up his
face about a second before he lost consciousness.

I told him we'd called 911. He said that he felt fine, and he'd be okay
with going to the ER, but didn't want an ambulance, that I could drive him.
I told him that it's already too late, 911 has been called and are coming.
He wanted to go downstairs to wait for them in the living room, but we
wouldn't let him walk down the stairs in case he fainted again. They
arrived 4 minutes later and came in our room giving him the full treatment.
We answered questions and told them about what had just happened, as well as
the other episode a couple days before that, which we realized was probably
the same thing. The did an EKG which showed some irregular heartbeats, and
recommended that he go to the emergency room. We all agreed, and off we
went. Stepmom stayed with the kids and my dad drives me to the ER.

In the ER his EKG continued to be irregular. The ran various tests and
everything else cames back normal. By then it was 2 am, and we were all
exhausted. The doctor cames in and said that he wanted Dh to be admitted to
the hospital so that they can monitor him overnight. Dh started to shaking
his head no, and said, "We'll call tomorrow and make an appointment..." The
doctor reiterated that he wanted to monitor him, and started to explain that
the irregular heartbeat was what was causing the fainting, and that it could
happen again at any time, and that while it could just be another fainting
spell, it was also possible that his heart would not remember to beat again,
and he could die. He used the words "sudden death" twice. (WTF@!!!).

For some asinine reason, dh kept trying to convince the doctor and me and my
Dad that going home and making an appointment for later was the best option.
I looked him straight in the face and said, "Sorry, you're not going home.
You're staying right here. You're **** out of luck kid, because I'm not
taking you home." He immediately agreed, but you could tell he really
didn't want to stay. But he agreed. They got the paperwork ready and he
told my dad and I to go home to bed. It was 3:30am.

The next morning I go up, had a bit of breakfast, and called dh. He didn't
answer his room phone. I called again a little later, and he didn't answer.
Finally he called me, and I asked him where he was and he said, "I don't
need to be here, but I'm in the ICU. They've parked me here while we wait
for ambulance. They're transferring me to a different hospital that has a
better cardiac center." He told me that they want him to meet with a
cardiologist, who will run some tests, and that they may put in a pacemaker.
Wow. We made plans that I would meet him over at the new hospital.

I arrived at the hospital and found him in the electrophysiology lab. The
cardiologist came in a few minutes later and talkr to us for about 5
minutes. Asked us questions, went over the history, looked at the chart.
He said that dh had a right branch bundle block, which is basically an
electrical malfunction. It wasn't firing correctly to tell his heart to
beat, so his heart was beating slowly, and occasionally missing a beat, or
two, or three. It's when it missed 3-4 beats in a row that he lost
consciousness. He said that there are 3 levels -- level 1 is just a slow
heartbeat, and doesn't need treatment, level 2 is the slow heartbeat and an
occasional missed beat, which is more serious, and level 3 is missing the
beat more often and more times in a row, and could lead to death. He said
that Dh had a level 2, and he thought the episodes of fainting were level 3,
and that it would just get worse as he ages.

The doctor looked in the chart and wanted to see an EKG strip showing the
level 2 heartbeats, but they weren't brought over from the other hospital.
So he said, "Okay, let's see if we can stress your heart out enough to give
me a strip showing the irregularity." He pushed hard on dh's carotid
artery, hard enough to slow the blood flow. The EKG immediately showed
irregular heartbeats -- even I could see that his heart was skipping a beat
once, then normal for a bit, then two in a row, then normal for a bit, then
another skip. He explained that for some reason the electric signals
weren't being fired correctly and told us a few reaons why this can happen.
Sometimes it's caused by medications, or toxoplasmosis, Lyme disease,
genetics, and just getting old. None of these really apply as best we could
tell. Dh is 39 (well, he turns 40 on Feb 12th) and while this is sometimes
found in babies or younger people, it's not very common in men under 60. He
said that dh needs a pacemaker, and the next thing we knew, they handed dh
forms to sign and took him off to surgery to implant the pacemaker. 1.5
hours later, he was out of surgery and moved to a room in the hospital.

He was discharged today at 4:30, and we got home around 7:00pm. It has been
really hard for him to wrap his head around. He didn't feel sick or weak or
ill in any way before the fainting episode, and felt normal and fine
afterwards, so it's been really hard for him to deal with. I mean he
fainted and BAM, 12 hours later he's in surgery and has a pacemaker. He
will have a pacemaker for the rest of his life. He's scared and facing his
mortality, and ashamed to talk about it and tell our friends. I think he
feels vulnerable. He has a 3 inch incision on his chest where they put in
the pacmaker and the wires to his heart. He cannot lift that arm over his
head for a few weeks, and cannot lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk
with that arm. He cannot drive until we go back for his wound check next
week, which he is having a problem with. He has taken no pain meds since
the surgery and has very little pain. I know that he's stressing about work
next week and how he's going to tell his boss and handle the work
committments that he has. I've told him that I'll drive him to the office
several times next week, and he has a home based office, but I know that
it's going to be hard on him. Luckily we left his car at my folks house.
: )

I'm doing much better than I was on Friday during his surgery. I called and
talked to my mom and his folks and explained to everyone what was going on.
I read all the documentation that they gave us with the pacemaker, and it
made me feel much better. They are so common, and so many people have them,
that it took away a lot of the fear for me. The restrictions that he will
have due to the pacemaker are very minimal. It has been easier for me to
adjust to than it has for him though. I wish there was more I could do for
him. I know he needs to join some sort of support group for people with
pacemakers, and even one for young men with pacemakers, but he's not much of
the joining type.

--

Jamie Clark

Jamie Clark schrieb:
Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my
real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very
long...

We had a very scary weekend, and I think we're all still in shock. It all
started out well -- Dh and I were going to drive up to my Dad & Step-Mom's
house, spend the night, then leave the kids with them and go up to Lake
Tahoe. We were going to spend 1 night at the Mont Bleu hotel and see the
English Beat in concert. We were both really looking forward to the
weekend. 1 night and 2 days away. Instead, we ended up in the ER, dh spent
2 nights/days in the hospital, and came out with a pacemaker. Here's how it
happened:
snip

Wow. That's so scary. I hope you'll all recover quickly. I really don't
know what else to say.

take care
nicole

"Jamie Clark" wrote:

Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of
my
real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very
long...

Wow, that is scary. I'm glad he did go to the hospital and get it figured
out! How scary for both of you!


--
Rebecca Jo
Mama to Alexander 6/6/05 & Jack 7/7/07

Well, thank your lucky stars, Jamie. Your DH did not have an episode
while driving his car! He is mostly healthy, but he has a condition
that causes sudden and unpredictable loss of consciousness. For
someone who drives a car, that is extremely deadly even apart from the
intrinsic risk of a severe episode resulting in sudden cardiac
arrest. That's the explanation I would use: it is a safety measure.
Your DH has chosen to have a pacemaker because the risk of injury to
others is unacceptable.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fainting

BTW, in my house, calling "are you okay?" requires an immediate and
loud reply to tell the caller it is okay to stand down from the
default high alert.

Pologirl

Another by the way...

Jamie, your DH did not experience of his loss of consciousness. He
did not experience the terror that you experienced. He didn't even
experience his own falling down, and he probably has no real memory of
immediately before or afterward. He may accept intellectually that he
needs the pacemaker but without the personal experience of something
being shockingly not right, emotionally he does not accept it.

Pologirl

Yeah, you are right. We both have very different experiences of what
happened. It's easier for me to accept the new reality, party because I did
experience his fainting, and partly because the pacemaker is not implanted
in my chest. I did not receive the news that I had an issue with my heart,
like he did, so I don't have to face my mortality, but I had to face HIS. I
faced the *idea* of losing him, so really, the pacemaker is a wonderful
thing to me. So we are really at different places right now. But I know he
just needs some time, and that he will come around.
--

Jamie Clark



"Pologirl" wrote in message
...
Another by the way...

Jamie, your DH did not experience of his loss of consciousness. He
did not experience the terror that you experienced. He didn't even
experience his own falling down, and he probably has no real memory of
immediately before or afterward. He may accept intellectually that he
needs the pacemaker but without the personal experience of something
being shockingly not right, emotionally he does not accept it.

Pologirl

On Jan 26, 11:55 pm, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my
real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very
long...

We had a very scary weekend, and I think we're all still in shock. It all
started out well -- Dh and I were going to drive up to my Dad & Step-Mom's
house, spend the night, then leave the kids with them and go up to Lake
Tahoe. We were going to spend 1 night at the Mont Bleu hotel and see the
English Beat in concert. We were both really looking forward to the
weekend. 1 night and 2 days away. Instead, we ended up in the ER, dh spent
2 nights/days in the hospital, and came out with a pacemaker.

That is frightening. Unlike elective surgery you both had little time
to be able to think about it, research options and plan. I'm glad you
happened to have your kids in a safe place with built in childcare
while you were dealing with this. Since this happened suddenly and
you weren't given time to come to terms with it in advance, it will
probably take some time now.

--Betsy

Jamie Clark wrote:
Yeah, you are right. We both have very different experiences of what
happened. It's easier for me to accept the new reality, party because I did
experience his fainting, and partly because the pacemaker is not implanted
in my chest. I did not receive the news that I had an issue with my heart,
like he did, so I don't have to face my mortality, but I had to face HIS. I
faced the *idea* of losing him, so really, the pacemaker is a wonderful
thing to me. So we are really at different places right now. But I know he
just needs some time, and that he will come around.


I am so glad for him that you pressed the issue and he was
treated.

I have a 85 year old friend of the family who has had a
pacemaker since
the late 1950's and she's still going strong. We call her
the Energizer Bunny.

I hope your DH has the same success.

gloria p

snipped but read....

I am so sorry about your pants of a weekend Jamie and just hope and pray now
that your hubby makes a full recovery.

april

Thanks April.

What exactly is a "pants of a weekend" ? LOL. That must be a UK slang
thing! Thanks for the well wishes, he basically is fully recovered already.
It was a very quick and simple out patient procedure. He'll have to go back
in a week for a wound check and to recheck the pacemaker, but he's basically
fine. I aprpeciate the prayers.

--

Jamie Clark



"april & co" wrote in message
...

snipped but read....

I am so sorry about your pants of a weekend Jamie and just hope and pray
now that your hubby makes a full recovery.

april