totally confused

so my 10.5 month old is on 3 meals a day, one is cereal, one is usually an
older baby food, usually plus tit bits of our food, the other is full on
table food, she doesn't usually breastfeed during the day.

I was talking with the health visitor about what Nathanael eats as he is
underweight, so we were trying to find ways of fattening him up. When she
finds out that I sometimes give Ada a jar at lunch time, she was like, she
should be on table food now, if she's still eating baby food, when are you
going to switch her over etc etc etc. I explained that if I did give her our
lunch, because it was more difficult for her to eat, she didn't eat as much
and would end up breastfeeding extra in the afternoon, which I actually
think would be not a bad thing, but because I find it so difficult
physically to lift her etc. it works for us. What I didn't expect her to say
was in which case you have to be strong and not feed her, so that she'll be
hungry and eat her next meal. So, it's like she expects me to spend all
afternoon comforting a grumpy baby, who should be asleep, but won't because
she is hungry, erm, well no, if she had said well that's fine, just
breastfeed her, I would have made the change, but right now I'm not going
to.

She totally laid into me about Nathanael's eating, particularly about the
things I've been doing because the doctor told me to. Life is difficult
enough as it is, we survive, there are some small things we can change, but
switching everything at once is too much. So we can get some cream and add
it to Nathanael's cereal, but we can't be going out to buy fresh bread every
day so Ada can eat it rather than the stay fresh loaf which we buy once a
week.

I'm really cross right now because it seems like everyone is laying into me
whether it's about how I care for myself or how I care for my children, yet
what am I supposed to do? No one will help me with my physical problems
either, but the same organisation (the NHS) that caused them and won't treat
them feels it is ok for them to tell me I'm a bad person too!

Anne (in a mood)

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
so my 10.5 month old is on 3 meals a day, one is cereal, one is usually an
older baby food, usually plus tit bits of our food, the other is full on
table food, she doesn't usually breastfeed during the day.

I was talking with the health visitor about what Nathanael eats as he is
underweight, so we were trying to find ways of fattening him up. When she
finds out that I sometimes give Ada a jar at lunch time, she was like, she
should be on table food now, if she's still eating baby food, when are you
going to switch her over etc etc etc. I explained that if I did give her
our lunch, because it was more difficult for her to eat, she didn't eat as
much and would end up breastfeeding extra in the afternoon, which I
actually think would be not a bad thing, but because I find it so
difficult physically to lift her etc. it works for us. What I didn't
expect her to say was in which case you have to be strong and not feed
her, so that she'll be hungry and eat her next meal. So, it's like she
expects me to spend all afternoon comforting a grumpy baby, who should be
asleep, but won't because she is hungry, erm, well no, if she had said
well that's fine, just breastfeed her, I would have made the change, but
right now I'm not going to.

She totally laid into me about Nathanael's eating, particularly about the
things I've been doing because the doctor told me to. Life is difficult
enough as it is, we survive, there are some small things we can change,
but switching everything at once is too much. So we can get some cream and
add it to Nathanael's cereal, but we can't be going out to buy fresh bread
every day so Ada can eat it rather than the stay fresh loaf which we buy
once a week.

I'm really cross right now because it seems like everyone is laying into
me whether it's about how I care for myself or how I care for my children,
yet what am I supposed to do? No one will help me with my physical
problems either, but the same organisation (the NHS) that caused them and
won't treat them feels it is ok for them to tell me I'm a bad person too!

Anne (in a mood)

Health Nurses wouldnt have a clue about YOUR child. I dont go to one for the
very reason that I get more frustrated and annoyed with there outright dump
advice. As long as your child is growing whether that is "underweight" or
not is irrelevant - particularly since health charts are based on formula
fed babies. Sure if your doctor thinks there is a problem act on it but
other wise I wouldnt stress. Oh and for the record, Tara is 10mths weights
8kg and eats rice cereal for breaky, puree food (usually homemade) for lunch
and whatever we have in the way of normal table food for tea. She has two
breast feeds aday although she is more comfort feeding than breastfeeding
now, she has cows milk during the day as she will not feed effectively from
me anymore. There is definately advantages to fresh bread in the way of
brain development but if it is something that you cant afford then I wouldnt
be stressed, calorie wise I couldnt see there being much of a difference.

Cheri

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
so my 10.5 month old is on 3 meals a day, one is cereal, one is usually an
older baby food, usually plus tit bits of our food, the other is full on
table food, she doesn't usually breastfeed during the day.

DD is about 2 months younger and she has a similar meal schedule...
Breakfast is normally something like regular yogurt or applesauce (or a
similar jarred baby fruit) mixed in with baby cereal, lunch is normally
whatever we have - I tend to try and keep lunch simple, like soup and
sandwiches, so she normally has soup with crackers, and supper I find I
often give her the older baby food, or if we're having something like rice
and chicken, I will give her rice as is with tiny pieces of chicken that I
pick apart with my fingers.

I was talking with the health visitor about what Nathanael eats as he is
underweight, so we were trying to find ways of fattening him up. When she
finds out that I sometimes give Ada a jar at lunch time, she was like, she
should be on table food now, if she's still eating baby food, when are you
going to switch her over etc etc etc. I explained that if I did give her
our lunch, because it was more difficult for her to eat, she didn't eat as
much and would end up breastfeeding extra in the afternoon, which I
actually think would be not a bad thing, but because I find it so
difficult physically to lift her etc. it works for us. What I didn't
expect her to say was in which case you have to be strong and not feed
her, so that she'll be hungry and eat her next meal. So, it's like she
expects me to spend all afternoon comforting a grumpy baby, who should be
asleep, but won't because she is hungry, erm, well no, if she had said
well that's fine, just breastfeed her, I would have made the change, but
right now I'm not going to.

Correct me if I'm wrong... Nathanael is the older one that the health lady
came to see about and Ada is baby, right?
To be honest, at DD's 6 month appointment with her ped (the same one I had
for the others and still have) HE told me to feed DD exactly what we're
eating, MINUS cow's milk, nuts and honey. Take whatever we're having for
supper and toss it in the blender and serve that to her. He said at this
age, she has the same tastebuds as we do. Try and avoid excess spices and
all that, but give her what we're eating. I tried that out for about a
week, and she was fine with whatever we were eating. Then, almost out of
nowhere, she seemed to stop wanting to eat that and she was hungry but not
eating what we ate. I went back to baby foods and then a month or so later
(about a month, month and a half ago), I tried to make a slow transition by
slowly changing what she eats. I started with breakfast, being whatever
like yogurt or applesauce that we eat, but I still added her baby cereal to
make it a bit thicker and to also avoid having all this baby cereal wasted.
I then moved on to lunch offering her chicken noodle soup and the crusts of
grilled cheese sandwitches, whatever we were having, slightly modified for
her to be able to eat it. Now working on supper by giving her rice or
potatos or whatever it may be, and if the veggies are easy, like peas, she
has some of those and if the meat is easy as well, like I find chicken is,
that's what she gets. I cut up spaghetti noodles into small pieces and put
a little runny sauce on it, or if I just don't want or can't give her what
we have, I'll use jarred food, which is now the foods that are for older
babies which have soft chunks and are 'meals' - like turkey, rice and
vegetable stew.
At 10 and a half months, I don't think I'd want to have to spend a good
portion of my day with a cranky, hungry little one. That's just too young
for me to believe she'd understand that if you don't eat your meal, there's
no more until the next meal. With DSs (5 and 6) they KNOW that if they
don't eat their lunch, there's no snacks or anything until 5 when their dad
gets home and supper is on the table.
I had similar odd advice when I was struggling with bfing DD when she was
about 2-4 months old. I was told to offer her to nurse and if she doesn't
want to suck, wait until the next time I'd normally feed her if she had
actually eaten and let her suck it up and be hungry for the next feeding. I
was not able to do this. I did try and with nursing her as suggested, she
lost even more weight than she had when I was feeding her whenever she was
hungry. Turned out to be for about 5 minutes every half hour or so, which
was killing me physically. I couldn't deal with such an upset and hugry
baby that was clearly losing weight when she should have been gaining to
feed her when 'they' said to feed her.

She totally laid into me about Nathanael's eating, particularly about the
things I've been doing because the doctor told me to. Life is difficult
enough as it is, we survive, there are some small things we can change,
but switching everything at once is too much. So we can get some cream and
add it to Nathanael's cereal, but we can't be going out to buy fresh bread
every day so Ada can eat it rather than the stay fresh loaf which we buy
once a week.

Personally, I go with what the doctor says first. If that doesn't seem to
be working out for me, or my kid, I find a way to improvise and modify
whatever the doctor said - as it went with just giving her what we eat. I
see if I can get additional tips and hints from health nurses, but I find I
definitely go with what their ped says first over the health nurses or
whatever brainiac ideas my family tends to have (I've had major issues with
foods and feeding with my side and DH's side of the family).
I'm not sure what kind of people have the time and ability to buy fresh
braid daily. We'd have 7 3/4-1/2 loaves of bread sitting around being
wasted if we bought fresh bread daily... I also don't have the time or
energy for a daily trip to the store for a loaf of bread! I buy 10 loaves
of bread and toss them in the freezer and pull one out when the previous one
is down to the last 4-8 slices in the bag

I'm really cross right now because it seems like everyone is laying into
me whether it's about how I care for myself or how I care for my children,
yet what am I supposed to do? No one will help me with my physical
problems either, but the same organisation (the NHS) that caused them and
won't treat them feels it is ok for them to tell me I'm a bad person too!

I'm not aware of your physical problems, but I'm assuming you're NOT a bad
person over the way you take care of yourself and your family! I find that
I sometimes have to skip out on a meal to deal with the kids and maybe get a
few bites in when things calm down. I know what you mean about people in
general. It seems that there's ALWAYS someone who thinks they can do it
better, yet I'd love to challenge some of those people. DH's old boss' wife
tried to cut right into me about the house and the way things go over here
in general. She said the house is always dirty - I'm sorry, I find a big
difference between dirty and downright messy. Toys scattered about isn't
dirty. The 'dirty' toys stay outside in the yard. The food after meals is
cleared up off the table or counters and dishes are put in the dishwasher or
in the sink if the dishwasher is running to be put in when it stops and is
unloaded. My mom is constantly telling me she has clients who keep better
houses (she works for child welfare) and my dad simply says it looks like
I'm running a welfare house. My mom admits that it's not dirty, just too
much crap around, which I do see and admit (and am trying to work on!) My
parents also didn't have kids as young and close together as we do. My
parents were 27 when I was born - 11 years older than I was with DS. My
brothers are 3 and 6 years younger than I am. DSs are 1 year apart in age.
DD is 4 and a half years younger than DS2, and DD will be 15 months old when
#4 comes. The boys tend to gang up and when they do, I can't keep up with
them. "Picking up toys" to them means tossing their toys in a box and
leaving that box of toys and papers in the hallway outside of their room or
kicked randomly in their room, or me sucking Legos, marbles and Knex up with
the vacuum.
I say all you're supposed to do is your best. There's no such thing as a
perfect parent by standards, yet I see the perfect parent is the one who
does their very best. Obviously it's going to have its challenges, but how
you attack the challenges is the key.

Anne (in a mood)

Oh, those moods happen! They do for me, anyways. I spent Monday evening at
my aunt and uncle's house for my cousin's birthday, and because I gave DD a
french fry to suck on and gum to death, I had an earful from everyone about
how not long ago I made a huge deal when someone else was giving her mashed
potatos (I didn't like the cream and milk that was added, as her ped said no
cow's milk directly or in her food - introduce cow's milk in her food, as in
mashed potatos, at 9 months, give her cow's milk no sooner than 1 year of
age) and the cake nearly threw me up the wall when I had specifically asked
for her to NOT have that stuff at the time (this was Christmas and she was
almost 5 months old at the time) I've just come to the conclusion that
everyone knows better, yet I would love to put some of those people in my
shoes for a day or two and sit back and watch how they try and manage and do
it so much better.

"Jake_Mysterio" wrote and I snipped:

but we can't be going out to buy fresh bread every day so Ada can eat it
rather than the stay fresh loaf which we buy once a week.

There is definately advantages to fresh bread in the way of brain
development but if it is something that you cant afford then I wouldnt be
stressed, calorie wise I couldnt see there being much of a difference.

Okay, so now I'm confused. What is the difference between fresh bread and
not? I've never heard friends in the U.S. talk about this, and I just don't
understand what you two are talking about. Are there really different
ingredients? We buy a loaf of sandwich bread at the grocery store and use
it until it's gone, anywhere between 4 days and a week. If we had bread in
the house that wouldn't stay fresh until it was all eaten, we would keep it
in the refrigerator.

Thanks,
-Patty, mom of 1+2

Okay, so now I'm confused. What is the difference between fresh bread and
not? I've never heard friends in the U.S. talk about this, and I just
don't understand what you two are talking about. Are there really
different ingredients? We buy a loaf of sandwich bread at the grocery
store and use it until it's gone, anywhere between 4 days and a week. If
we had bread in the house that wouldn't stay fresh until it was all eaten,
we would keep it in the refrigerator.

it's not that our bread isn't fresh, it's just it's manufactured and
packaged in a way that means it lasts a little bit longer, it's just regular
sliced bread for toast, she was saying we should use fresh wholemeal as
toast bread just becomes a glob in a babies mouth

Anne

"PattyMomVA" wrote in message
...
"Jake_Mysterio" wrote and I snipped:

but we can't be going out to buy fresh bread every day so Ada can eat it
rather than the stay fresh loaf which we buy once a week.

There is definately advantages to fresh bread in the way of brain
development but if it is something that you cant afford then I wouldnt be
stressed, calorie wise I couldnt see there being much of a difference.

Okay, so now I'm confused. What is the difference between fresh bread and
not? I've never heard friends in the U.S. talk about this, and I just
don't understand what you two are talking about. Are there really
different ingredients?

Yes there is a big difference in ingredients. The supermarket stuff has
many preservitives in it one of which is known to inhibit childrens brain
development, my children have never eaten supermarket bread....sometimes I
wonder if it has anything to do with their gifted IQs probably not....maybe
it was the 2 1/2 years of breastmilk DH is a baker so we get the fresh
stuff everyday but I admit if he didnt work there we probably would buy the
supermarket stuff ourselves, it is much more convinient. But for the
convience you get all the added "chemicals" that they need to keep it fresh.

Cheri

Anne Rogers wrote:

I was talking with the health visitor about what Nathanael eats as he

There you go, then. I've got the only good HVs in the country. If you want
to move to Calderdale I'll happily share Betty and Michelle but I don't
think they want to leave the area so I can't send them to you.

Sorry you had such a bad time with yours, seriously, she is out of line. Ada
will change what she eats as she gets the hang of eating, and jars won't
kill her. YoungBloke started nursery at the age Ada is now and the staff
were well used to pureeing food for him. He'd happily eat toast but, for
instance, three bean cobbler needed blending. He was still eating jars
occasionally at home then too.

Hang in there. You do know more about your children than she does, no matter
what she may think!

I was talking with the health visitor about what Nathanael eats as he

There you go, then. I've got the only good HVs in the country. If you want
to move to Calderdale I'll happily share Betty and Michelle but I don't
think they want to leave the area so I can't send them to you.

I think that is what I've found so frustrating, is that until now she has
been really good, very supportive, providing good information etc.

It wasn't that she was providing wrong information or anything, but that for
someone who knows me she was very unhelpful and insensitive.

Cheers

Anne

"Anne Rogers" wrote

it's not that our bread isn't fresh, it's just it's manufactured and
packaged in a way that means it lasts a little bit longer, it's just
regular
sliced bread for toast, she was saying we should use fresh wholemeal as
toast bread just becomes a glob in a babies mouth


Veering off topic but have you considered a breadmaker? Ours has a "Quick
loaf" cycle that only takes an hour. I make fresh bread most days now and
the kids both love it. You can add extra olive oil or things like sesame
seeds if your two will eat them.

Jean

--
LeinsterFreecycle Co-moderator
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LeinsterFreecycle/

DD June '02
DS May '05

Veering off topic but have you considered a breadmaker? Ours has a
"Quick
loaf" cycle that only takes an hour. I make fresh bread most days now and
the kids both love it. You can add extra olive oil or things like sesame
seeds if your two will eat them.

we actually have one, but with my SPD being so bad it's one of the things
that comes under the too much category, though I could probably manage one
of the mixes, so I'll probably put them on the shopping list.

Still makes things complicated, because then I have to slice it, and I know
this sounds silly but it's yet another thing that I find hard, there always
seems to be some twisting involved even if you sit down, then it produces
more crumbs, meaning you need to sweep the floor and that is just a no go
area.

Cheers

Anne