Little One HATES the car seat!

My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was about 4
weeks old, he has hated the car seat! He screams like we're doing something
terrible to him, goes as stiff as a board when we try to put him in it and
sobs for about 15 minutes after we take him out. It is horrible! I hate to
hear him scream like that, but I have to be able to go out with him in the
car! Does anyone have any advice for how to make this less of a trial for
him? I don't want him to grow up hating to be in the car, or thinking that
we don't care because we keep putting him in there.
Alicia

Alicia wrote:
My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was about 4
weeks old, he has hated the car seat! He screams like we're doing something
terrible to him, goes as stiff as a board when we try to put him in it and
sobs for about 15 minutes after we take him out. It is horrible! I hate to
hear him scream like that, but I have to be able to go out with him in the
car! Does anyone have any advice for how to make this less of a trial for
him? I don't want him to grow up hating to be in the car, or thinking that
we don't care because we keep putting him in there.

I'm wondering if the semi-sitting position that you take
in a car seat is uncomfortable for him. Maybe because of
gas? Talk it over with your pediatrician. At any rate,
it's something he will grow out of -- unless he realizes
he can get a rise out of you by doing it, in which case
it will continue. In other words, don't react to his
unwanted behavior, just treat it very matter-of-factly.
Also, recheck to make sure there isn't something poking
him.

I think it's important to remember, also, that screaming
and crying are how babies that age communicate. I well
remember DD at 3 - 6 months during what the BH and I darkly
called the arsenic hours screaming from about 4-6 PM.
After a long day, I figure it was her way of unwinding.
Easy to say, very hard to live through. It got better.
And who really knows what she was crying about. Try not
to take it personally

Scott DD 10 and DS 7.5

On Wed, 29 Oct 2003 11:37:06 EST, Alicia wrote:

My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was about 4
weeks old, he has hated the car seat! He screams like we're doing something
terrible to him, goes as stiff as a board when we try to put him in it and
sobs for about 15 minutes after we take him out. It is horrible! I hate to
hear him scream like that, but I have to be able to go out with him in the
car! Does anyone have any advice for how to make this less of a trial for
him? I don't want him to grow up hating to be in the car, or thinking that
we don't care because we keep putting him in there.

No experience at all - just some wild guesses. I'm assuming you've
already felt around with your hands and face to see whether there's
anything sharp or lumpy or scratchy in the seat or its straps.

Is it brand new? Does it smell like new plastic (emit solvent fumes)?
(Washing it or putting it out in the sun might help that.)

Is there any sign that it irritates his skin?

Do you put your son in any other type of rigid or semi-rigid carrier
that he's comfortable in?

Is the carseat fixed to the car, or is it the kind where you can
buckle him in first and then carry the seat top to the base?

Have you asked his doctor about it?

Louise

Alicia writes:
My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was
about 4 weeks old, he has hated the car seat!

I don't know anyone who has had this problem, but I found a long list of
comments on the web, from people who did. Maybe some of these comments
will be useful to you:

http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommen...ats/hates.html

Scott Lindstrom writes:
At any rate, it's something he will grow out of -- unless he realizes
he can get a rise out of you by doing it, in which case it will
continue. In other words, don't react to his unwanted behavior, just
treat it very matter-of-factly.

I couldn't disagree more with this theory of child development. 12 week
old children don't cry in order to "get a rise" out of their parents.
Infants aren't going to cry any more or less if you treat them coldly.

David desJardins

David desJardins wrote:
Alicia writes:

My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was
about 4 weeks old, he has hated the car seat!


I don't know anyone who has had this problem, but I found a long list of
comments on the web, from people who did. Maybe some of these comments
will be useful to you:

http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommen...ats/hates.html

Scott Lindstrom writes:

At any rate, it's something he will grow out of -- unless he realizes
he can get a rise out of you by doing it, in which case it will
continue. In other words, don't react to his unwanted behavior, just
treat it very matter-of-factly.


I couldn't disagree more with this theory of child development. 12 week
old children don't cry in order to "get a rise" out of their parents.
Infants aren't going to cry any more or less if you treat them coldly.

Maybe. But if a parent starts behaving such that they
react with alarm to everything a child does at age 0-3 months, how
easy is it for that parent to change his/her behavior as
a child does start to become aware how to yank the parents'
strings? [And why do you interpret matter-of-fact treatment
to be cold?]

Scott DD 10 and DS 7.5

He's not the only baby who hates the car seat if it helps.
Unfortunately, it seems that some babies are more or less comfortable in
their seats than other. Both of my girls were content in theirs, but
our baby boy has not been. We are sure that a significant hernia that
was not repaired until 9 months contributed. That is resolved now and
he still does not enjoy his carseat for very long periods of time. We
have him facing his sisters in our van, which has helped. We are
hopeful, but realistic, that turning his seat around in the next few
months will help.

As another poster said, try not to take it personally. Unless you can
find some "cause" for his discomfort, he may just fuss more in the car
than other babies. He may react to your concern if you spend a great
deal of time and energy worrying about it. You might try getting a toy
mobile and installing sun shields.

Karen G

Scott Lindstrom writes:
Maybe. But if a parent starts behaving such that they
react with alarm to everything a child does at age 0-3 months

Reacting and responding to a child who is angry at being forced into a
carseat, and who cries for long periods during and after every such
occasion, is not remotely the same as "reacting with alarm to everything
a child does."

[And why do you interpret matter-of-fact treatment to be cold?]

Because that's what the dictionary says.

cold n. .... 2 a : marked by a lack of the warmth of normal human
emotion, friendliness, or compassion got a cold reception; also : not
moved to enthusiasm the movie leaves me cold b : not colored or
affected by personal feeling or bias : DETACHED, INDIFFERENT cold
chronicles recorded by an outsider -- Andrew Sarris; also : IMPERSONAL,
OBJECTIVE cold facts cold reality

David desJardins

Alicia wrote in message news:2RRnb.215974$9l5.50262@pd7tw2no...
My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was about 4
weeks old, he has hated the car seat! He screams like we're doing something
terrible to him, goes as stiff as a board when we try to put him in it and
sobs for about 15 minutes after we take him out. It is horrible! I hate to
hear him scream like that, but I have to be able to go out with him in the
car! Does anyone have any advice for how to make this less of a trial for
him? I don't want him to grow up hating to be in the car, or thinking that
we don't care because we keep putting him in there.

Alas, I know what you mean. And the icing on the cake is that
everyone thinks you're making it up because "babies love car rides"!

My son's reaction was a little less extreme than yours, as we could
sometimes get him to tolerate short rides, but generally car rides
were exercises in torture for all involved. We never found a solution
per se, just limited car rides as much as we could and just gritted
our teeth when we had to go somewhere more than 15 minutes away and
listened to the howls, feeling terrible. He's fourteen months old
now, and he's much, much better about it if it gives you any
comfort. He started to improve when we were able to turn the seat
around, and he's also just gotten old enough for him to be able
to daydream, I guess. Just trying to reassure you that there
may be hope.

One thing you might check into: a child of my acquaintance was
a terrible car rider, and when she got old enough to talk, it
turned out that she was very sensitive to motion sickness and
was probably howling because her stomach was bothering her. I
don't know what can be done about this possibility, but you
might ask your doctor.

Beth

Karen G ) wrote:
: He's not the only baby who hates the car seat if it helps.
: Unfortunately, it seems that some babies are more or less comfortable in
: their seats than other. Both of my girls were content in theirs, but

: As another poster said, try not to take it personally. Unless you can

Here's another me too post. My daugher, now 12, was very unhappy in the
car seat as a newborn. When she was 5 weeks old we decided to take a 7
hour car trip to see my husband's dying grandmother. It was one of the
most miserable times I've ever had in a car. We started out stopping
frequently and finally decided to tough it out for longer stretches as the
frequent stops prolonged the agony for all of us.

When she was somewhat older we realized that she was feeling
carsick/nauseous in the car and I suspect that may have been why she was
so miserable as an infant. Fortunately the carsickness appears to have
lessened as she gets older.

It is difficult and we reduced our numbers of car trips while she was very
young. When she reached 4-6 (?) months we found that we were more able to
interact with her and distract her which made the trips easier.

Good luck,

Jody

In article 2RRnb.215974$9l5.50262@pd7tw2no,
Alicia wrote:

My beautiful baby boy is now almost 12 weeks old, and since he was about 4
weeks old, he has hated the car seat! He screams like we're doing something
terrible to him, goes as stiff as a board when we try to put him in it and
sobs for about 15 minutes after we take him out. It is horrible! I hate to
hear him scream like that, but I have to be able to go out with him in the
car! Does anyone have any advice for how to make this less of a trial for
him? I don't want him to grow up hating to be in the car, or thinking that
we don't care because we keep putting him in there.
Alicia


Ours despised riding backwards. In light of her subsequent personality
development, we think it might have been because she didn't have
anything to look at. She yelled at the top of her lungs most of the way
home from the hospital, until we hit a stretch of bumpy road the last
few miles that somehow lulled her to sleep.

Anyway we used to be able to distract her by singing, which would put
off the crying for maybe ten minutes. Around here, that's enough time to
get a lot of places. We obtained a tape of lullabies when she was about
four months old, which helped sometimes. We also hung some chewable
keys and other toys from the handle of the seat, which sometimes kept
her occupied. Otherwise, we just let her cry herself to sleep.

Once she was old enough to ride frontwards, things got much better.

Hope it gets better soon! If it's any comfort, what our daughter was
like the first three months was a very shaky predictor of what she later
turned out to be (a pretty good car rider, for one thing).