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#51
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
Tori M. wrote:
I know I live in my own little bubble and all but the only 3 people that I know in person that have had homebirths in general have ended up being rushed to the Hospital in an ambulance due to complications and all 3 had midwifes assisting. Statistically, that is quite unusual. Most homebirth midwives have a transport rate under 10 percent, and the vast majority of transports are not emergencies (no ambulance needed). Best wishes, Ericka |
#52
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Tori M. wrote: I know I live in my own little bubble and all but the only 3 people that I know in person that have had homebirths in general have ended up being rushed to the Hospital in an ambulance due to complications and all 3 had midwifes assisting. Statistically, that is quite unusual. Most homebirth midwives have a transport rate under 10 percent, and the vast majority of transports are not emergencies (no ambulance needed). My understanding is that most home birth transports are for pain relief, primarily due to exceptionally long or difficult labors. -- Be well, Barbara Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6) Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy." Me (later)--"You should feel flattered." All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#53
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
My neice, well my husbands neice got "stuck" I believe and her mom had to be
rushed to the hospital trying not to push. The other 2 hemeraged so bad that the midwifes had to control the bleeding in the ambulance. The last 2 had made it through the whole delivery but it was the hemeraging that sent them to the hospital. Like someone else on the breastfeeding board pointed out I somehow made it through 25 years in a bubble and know verry few people with experiances outside the "normal" situations and all the people I do know had a hard time going through the "unusual" situations. Tori -- Bonnie 3/20/02 Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04 "Circe" wrote in message news:Ts9oc.14390$A27.8399@fed1read06... Ericka Kammerer wrote: Tori M. wrote: I know I live in my own little bubble and all but the only 3 people that I know in person that have had homebirths in general have ended up being rushed to the Hospital in an ambulance due to complications and all 3 had midwifes assisting. Statistically, that is quite unusual. Most homebirth midwives have a transport rate under 10 percent, and the vast majority of transports are not emergencies (no ambulance needed). My understanding is that most home birth transports are for pain relief, primarily due to exceptionally long or difficult labors. -- Be well, Barbara Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6) Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy." Me (later)--"You should feel flattered." All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#54
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
Circe wrote:
My understanding is that most home birth transports are for pain relief, primarily due to exceptionally long or difficult labors. Yep--particularly with first timers. Not really an emergency situation ;-) Best wishes, Ericka |
#55
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
So, in my book, there's nothing particularly brave or courageous about opting for a med-free birth. There is also nothing "wussy" about opting for meds if you need them. But I also think that your expectations of birth are often a self-fulfilling prophecy, and if you walk into it being terrified of the pain to the point that the idea makes you sick, you're likely going to find that labor meets your expectations and the pain is truly horrendous. If, OTOH, you don't have that expectation, you're likely to find that it isn't nearly that bad. That's not to say that there aren't times when labor is unbearable painful even for a woman who expects it *won't* be or vice versa--it's just that fear increases pain and if you go in afraid, you are probably going to have more pain than someone who doesn't go in afraid. I'd be cautious about this advice. My doula and childbirth educator both said the most common problem they saw in births going emotionally awry was in mothers who went in thinking, "I've learned all the techniques, so I'll be fine. I'll sail through it, get my husband to rub my back and my doula to walk around with me, put nice music on, breathe through it, and it'll be no problem," and were then confronted suddenly with the reality that this stuff HURTS. And even though it didn't hurt all that *much*, they broke down, because their image shattered and they were lost and afraid. Well, I think you should note that I said that there is a correlation, but thinking it won't be that bad isn't a guarantee that you won't need meds nor vice versa. I just said "probably". And I genuinely do believe that, except in very exceptional circumstances, when you are afraid of the pain in advance, you are more likely to have pain that is worth fearing. Research bears that out, too, so I'm not just making this up based on my experience or intuition. Also, I would never claim that it DOESN'T hurt. It does. No doubt about it. And I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone to think that having a great attitude is going to mean that it won't hurt. But having a great attitude, good support (key, IMO), and *realistic* expectations (by which I mean you expect that it is going to be painful, but not that it is necessarily going to be so painful that you won't be able to cope without medication) can go a long way towards getting you through the experience without feeling the need for pain medication. That doesn't mean it always works, mind you, just that it increases the chances of success. More than that, however, I was trying to emphasize that I have a lot of concern for women who go into labor with no plan other than "give me the epidural the second I walk through the hospital door", because if it doesn't work or they can't get it, they are completely unprepared to do anything else and then their fear and pain are doubly magnified. That's just not a healthy recipe for a good birth, IMO. -- Grin for me it was the opposite of this. #1 was going to hurt-but nothing I couldn't manage. After 24hrs I was so thankful for the epidural. #2 that epidural would have been positioned at 36 weeks if I'd had my way.... no epidural (by choice-bargain with midwife: no internal if I didn't have an epidural), and no stitches either. Go straight to the second birth is my recommenation for first time mothers !?! Debbie |
#56
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
On Tue, 11 May 2004 17:28:08 +0000 (UTC), Jacqui
wrote: Circe wibbled I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that the pain associatied with childbirth isn't *necessarily* going to be the worst pain you'll experience in your life My mother (two unmedicated births out of three) has recently slipped a disc. On a scale of one to ten, she rated labour/birth at 8 and this back pain at 9.5. (I'm not sure what she's reserving the final 0.5 for...) Labour is far from the worst pain I have experienced and I've never slipped a disk or broken a bone either. Oh and I never got the 'worth it' thing at the end either. Megan |
#57
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
On 9 May 2004 10:39:52 -0400, Jay wrote:
Hello, first post to a newsgroup in a long, long time! Well, this is the situation. My wife, who usually insists on doing everything herself, also wants to give birth by herself (keep reading... with NO help!!! We live in Australia. \ Just wondering if the $3000 baby allowance thing announced in the budget last night might bring an independant midwife within your reach? At any rate, your wife *can* do it all by herself. You could be a great source of support to her- do some research. People have already given you some good reading material. The Cbirth and empoweredbirth lists (both @ yahoogroups) are both well worth joining. I think your wife is awesome for being mentally ready for UC with her first baby! What a woman. Oh, one more thought... the kinds of things that happen during labour/birth that justify a trip to hospital are usually things that take too long, or don't happen. Sudden emergencies (that medical intervention would actually help) are rare. THink about it like this- if you plan a hospital birth, and she has a nice normal pregnancy, the hospital won't want your wife to come in at the first contraction. The midwives will encourage her to stay home as long as she can, and labour in peace. So, imagine things going so smoothly that the baby is just born, at home. Even in a planned UC, there's always the freedom to transport if needed. Anyway try to read up and get on the same team as your wife, because she will never forgive you if you force her into a hospital birth. Hope -- Riley 1993 c/s Tara 2002 HBAC TTC #3 |
#58
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
On Wed, 12 May 2004 09:26:20 GMT, Hope
wrote: On 9 May 2004 10:39:52 -0400, Jay wrote: Hello, first post to a newsgroup in a long, long time! Well, this is the situation. My wife, who usually insists on doing everything herself, also wants to give birth by herself (keep reading... with NO help!!! We live in Australia. \ Just wondering if the $3000 baby allowance thing announced in the budget last night might bring an independant midwife within your reach? I was going to suggest that too. If the baby is due after July 1 then most homebirth midwives will accept that money as payment - as long as there was some kind of on-going payment made through the pregnancy. Alternately it might be worth your wife actually going and looking around at the hospitals, not all of them are very "hospitally". -- Cheryl Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00) and Mischief (30 Jul 02) |
#59
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Need Advice... wife wants to do everything herself!!!
I've read through much of the material here that people have posted. I
didn't realize I'd get so many replies I thank everyone who gave a bit of their own opinions and advice on the matter. After reading through the messages and talking with my wife a bit more, I've decided to just let things be. I love her and want things to go well. Therefore, I'm not going to complain anymore about her decision and just do what I can to support her. We will just try to be as prepared as possible (with both information and any items that may make the birthing easier for her). I must admit, though I'm a 6'0 tall, 215 pound weightlifter, I do get faint quite easily when I see blood (I watched my father get a mole removed once and passed out!). Therefore, I doubt it'll be me pulling the baby out or cutting the cord unless I can manage without getting sick. I think we'll leave most of that to her mother since she's had 3 kids before and has even had a home birth so she has at least some concept of what to do. Meanwhile, I'll try to support her in those other little ways like comforting her and getting her what she needs. I think if we make things as comfortable as we can for her the whole birth will go much easier. If the worst happens, we can STILL go to the hospital if we need to. But, having the home birth will make my wife happier and our relationship stronger, so if it must be done that way then so be it. Now, it is up to US to get all the information we can and plan things right! We have both done some research on babies and birthing in general, but we need to fine tune our knowledge of home birthing methods. Oh, and this is just one more note I thought I'd mention that involves the birth but in a more indirect way. It's about having children in Australia (we live in a small town in New South Wales). The government usually hands out money to families/mothers who have a child. Right now that amount is about $600.00 AU. Well, as of July 1st, 2004 they will change the amount to $3000.00 AU (or so they've said). But, your baby MUST be born on or after July 1st. One potential problem for us is this... our expected due date is June 17th! We could miss out by only a few weeks, or if the baby is late perhaps even a few days!!! My mother keeps saying that the first baby is usually late (I don't know if that's true, but she thinks it is), so in our case we HOPE the baby is EXACTLY two weeks late at least!!! We'll keep our fingers crossed... Thanks again for all the replies... there were some interesting and varied opinions on the subject. Jay |
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