Going back to the bottle again

"Stephanie Stowe" wrote in message
...

"toypup" wrote in message
news:8u99b.447115$o%2.201940@sccrnsc02...

"Shunaari" wrote in message
m...
How old are you may I ask? Does she always treat you like a child?

I am 24 and I am the youngest out of the four of us. I have been
married for 3 years and I am still treated like a little child by my
mother. Maybe its because I am the youngest, maybe she cannot accept
that I am growing up and I know things more than she does. I dont
know...

Lord, I hope when DS is grown, I don't treat him like he's still five.
I'm
in my mid-30's and my mom still does that. Drives me nuts. DH's mom
doesn't treat DH that way. I'm going to use her as my example.



I am going to try REALY hard to be tactful (hard for me). Could these
Mom's
treat you like kids for no other reason than you let them?

You don't know my mom. I don't live next door to her because she can't
control her mothering self. Does it to all her kids. I didn't take all her
good advice when DS was born, it hurt her feelings and she refused to see
him for 6 months. Nevermind that her advice was the exact opposite of
whatever I was doing, no matter what I was doing, no matter if it
contradicts her own advice from five minutes earlier. It drove me so crazy,
especially being so tired early on, that I finally told her to stop it. She
disappeared, telling me she'd never come visit DS ever again. Of course,
she eventually changed her mind, and she's a little tamer, but she still
likes to contradict me and she's starting to play mind games with DS. She
did that with all of us growing up, so I limit the time we spend with her,
no more than a few hours in the morning about once every three weeks. That
seems to do the trick. DS spends most of it getting reacquainted, not being
mentally screwed up.

toypup wrote:


It drove me so crazy,
especially being so tired early on, that I finally told her to stop it. She
disappeared, telling me she'd never come visit DS ever again.

Mine didn't disappear. She prefers to make it MY fault and ranted that
I was planning to prevent her from seeing her grandson when I objected
to her interferances.

Beginning to really understand about personal responsibility, old
scripts, manipulative behaviour, etc. I guess I should thank her.

Dawn

"toypup" wrote in message
t...

"Stephanie Stowe" wrote in message
...

"toypup" wrote in message
news:8u99b.447115$o%2.201940@sccrnsc02...

"Shunaari" wrote in message
m...
How old are you may I ask? Does she always treat you like a
child?

I am 24 and I am the youngest out of the four of us. I have been
married for 3 years and I am still treated like a little child by my
mother. Maybe its because I am the youngest, maybe she cannot accept
that I am growing up and I know things more than she does. I dont
know...

Lord, I hope when DS is grown, I don't treat him like he's still five.
I'm
in my mid-30's and my mom still does that. Drives me nuts. DH's mom
doesn't treat DH that way. I'm going to use her as my example.



I am going to try REALY hard to be tactful (hard for me). Could these
Mom's
treat you like kids for no other reason than you let them?

You don't know my mom. I don't live next door to her because she can't
control her mothering self. Does it to all her kids. I didn't take all
her
good advice when DS was born, it hurt her feelings and she refused to see
him for 6 months. Nevermind that her advice was the exact opposite of
whatever I was doing, no matter what I was doing, no matter if it
contradicts her own advice from five minutes earlier. It drove me so
crazy,
especially being so tired early on, that I finally told her to stop it.
She
disappeared, telling me she'd never come visit DS ever again. Of course,
she eventually changed her mind, and she's a little tamer, but she still
likes to contradict me and she's starting to play mind games with DS. She
did that with all of us growing up, so I limit the time we spend with her,
no more than a few hours in the morning about once every three weeks.
That
seems to do the trick. DS spends most of it getting reacquainted, not
being
mentally screwed up.



Oy yoy yoy. Sounds like not living next door to her is the ultimate
solution. Limits also sound good.

I do not have a controlling Mom, quite the opposite. So I was jut venturing
a thought.

S

My mum (I hate calling her that) ia a robot. I am the oldest of 5, but when
there was just 2 kids, me and my sister, we used to be locked in our room
with no light bulb and no toilet, we went potty in the closet the smell was
awful. Once the neighbours called the police, and they broke in to our house
and let us out of our room, but or parents got away with it. My mum can't
show emotions, she never hugged us or told us she loved us. Our dad just
beat us with a belt and played us off against one another.
She divorced dad & shacked up a violent man when I was 7 and threw me out
age 15, it totaly screwed school for me, (I had been kept off school to
babysit most the time anyway). The violent man beat us, we begged social
services to put us in care, but our parents always got away with it. We were
put on the child at risk register, but stepdad just changed his name and
moved us away.
When I was 18 and pregnant for the 1st time I took my mum and step-dad to
court as my sister was suffering, and we won! She came to live with me.
Mum is still controlling in a way, she comes over dumps her kids on me at
weekends and school holidays, in the 6 week holidays she didn't even visit
her kids. If I refuse to babysit then I won't see my brother and sister,
Amie is only 11 and mum is the same with her, so I feel she needs me that's
why I don't say no. Mum is fine with her son, her other son was taken away
by my aunt. I hate it because I have inherited some of the traits from my
mum - I find close phsyical contact difficult from anyone other than the
kids even when my sister hugs me I freeze, and I have 4 boys i'm fine with
them, but I struggle to be close with my daughter. I love her with all my
heart, but it's difficult - a curse from my mother, I wish I knew how to
break it.
Anyway I don't smack my children, I adore them and they get away with murder
in comparison to myself as a child.
Mum doesn't give a toss about her grandkids at all, she never holds them or
anything. She dumps her kids, makes an excuse about being busy leaves, then
picks them up after a weekend or a few weeks. Once my little sis is an adult
dear mother will be ditched.

So I know how hard it is to escape a mother who is controlling.
--
Andrea mom of 5 - latest addition Kamron David 16lbs 5 (7lbs 9 and a half
born).

"Andrea" wrote,

[snip horror story]

So I know how hard it is to escape a mother who is controlling.

{{{{{{Andrea}}}}}}

The warmth in your posts is a real testament to your strength of character.

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (2)