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#21
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Going back to the BREAST again
"Stephanie Stowe" wrote in message ... "toypup" wrote in message news:8u99b.447115$o%2.201940@sccrnsc02... "Shunaari" wrote in message m... How old are you may I ask? Does she always treat you like a child? I am 24 and I am the youngest out of the four of us. I have been married for 3 years and I am still treated like a little child by my mother. Maybe its because I am the youngest, maybe she cannot accept that I am growing up and I know things more than she does. I dont know... Lord, I hope when DS is grown, I don't treat him like he's still five. I'm in my mid-30's and my mom still does that. Drives me nuts. DH's mom doesn't treat DH that way. I'm going to use her as my example. I am going to try REALY hard to be tactful (hard for me). Could these Mom's treat you like kids for no other reason than you let them? You don't know my mom. I don't live next door to her because she can't control her mothering self. Does it to all her kids. I didn't take all her good advice when DS was born, it hurt her feelings and she refused to see him for 6 months. Nevermind that her advice was the exact opposite of whatever I was doing, no matter what I was doing, no matter if it contradicts her own advice from five minutes earlier. It drove me so crazy, especially being so tired early on, that I finally told her to stop it. She disappeared, telling me she'd never come visit DS ever again. Of course, she eventually changed her mind, and she's a little tamer, but she still likes to contradict me and she's starting to play mind games with DS. She did that with all of us growing up, so I limit the time we spend with her, no more than a few hours in the morning about once every three weeks. That seems to do the trick. DS spends most of it getting reacquainted, not being mentally screwed up. |
#22
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Going back to the BREAST again
toypup wrote: It drove me so crazy, especially being so tired early on, that I finally told her to stop it. She disappeared, telling me she'd never come visit DS ever again. Mine didn't disappear. She prefers to make it MY fault and ranted that I was planning to prevent her from seeing her grandson when I objected to her interferances. Beginning to really understand about personal responsibility, old scripts, manipulative behaviour, etc. I guess I should thank her. Dawn |
#23
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Going back to the BREAST again
"toypup" wrote in message t... "Stephanie Stowe" wrote in message ... "toypup" wrote in message news:8u99b.447115$o%2.201940@sccrnsc02... "Shunaari" wrote in message m... How old are you may I ask? Does she always treat you like a child? I am 24 and I am the youngest out of the four of us. I have been married for 3 years and I am still treated like a little child by my mother. Maybe its because I am the youngest, maybe she cannot accept that I am growing up and I know things more than she does. I dont know... Lord, I hope when DS is grown, I don't treat him like he's still five. I'm in my mid-30's and my mom still does that. Drives me nuts. DH's mom doesn't treat DH that way. I'm going to use her as my example. I am going to try REALY hard to be tactful (hard for me). Could these Mom's treat you like kids for no other reason than you let them? You don't know my mom. I don't live next door to her because she can't control her mothering self. Does it to all her kids. I didn't take all her good advice when DS was born, it hurt her feelings and she refused to see him for 6 months. Nevermind that her advice was the exact opposite of whatever I was doing, no matter what I was doing, no matter if it contradicts her own advice from five minutes earlier. It drove me so crazy, especially being so tired early on, that I finally told her to stop it. She disappeared, telling me she'd never come visit DS ever again. Of course, she eventually changed her mind, and she's a little tamer, but she still likes to contradict me and she's starting to play mind games with DS. She did that with all of us growing up, so I limit the time we spend with her, no more than a few hours in the morning about once every three weeks. That seems to do the trick. DS spends most of it getting reacquainted, not being mentally screwed up. Oy yoy yoy. Sounds like not living next door to her is the ultimate solution. Limits also sound good. I do not have a controlling Mom, quite the opposite. So I was jut venturing a thought. S |
#24
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Going back to the BREAST again( i understand!)
My mum (I hate calling her that) ia a robot. I am the oldest of 5, but when
there was just 2 kids, me and my sister, we used to be locked in our room with no light bulb and no toilet, we went potty in the closet the smell was awful. Once the neighbours called the police, and they broke in to our house and let us out of our room, but or parents got away with it. My mum can't show emotions, she never hugged us or told us she loved us. Our dad just beat us with a belt and played us off against one another. She divorced dad & shacked up a violent man when I was 7 and threw me out age 15, it totaly screwed school for me, (I had been kept off school to babysit most the time anyway). The violent man beat us, we begged social services to put us in care, but our parents always got away with it. We were put on the child at risk register, but stepdad just changed his name and moved us away. When I was 18 and pregnant for the 1st time I took my mum and step-dad to court as my sister was suffering, and we won! She came to live with me. Mum is still controlling in a way, she comes over dumps her kids on me at weekends and school holidays, in the 6 week holidays she didn't even visit her kids. If I refuse to babysit then I won't see my brother and sister, Amie is only 11 and mum is the same with her, so I feel she needs me that's why I don't say no. Mum is fine with her son, her other son was taken away by my aunt. I hate it because I have inherited some of the traits from my mum - I find close phsyical contact difficult from anyone other than the kids even when my sister hugs me I freeze, and I have 4 boys i'm fine with them, but I struggle to be close with my daughter. I love her with all my heart, but it's difficult - a curse from my mother, I wish I knew how to break it. Anyway I don't smack my children, I adore them and they get away with murder in comparison to myself as a child. Mum doesn't give a toss about her grandkids at all, she never holds them or anything. She dumps her kids, makes an excuse about being busy leaves, then picks them up after a weekend or a few weeks. Once my little sis is an adult dear mother will be ditched. So I know how hard it is to escape a mother who is controlling. -- Andrea mom of 5 - latest addition Kamron David 16lbs 5 (7lbs 9 and a half born). |
#25
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Going back to the BREAST again( i understand!)
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