Going back to the bottle again

What I've done in the past is start out giving my baby the breast she
prefers. Then I try and switch to the less desired one. If I were you, I
would lay down with your baby and offer him the right breast. Then after
he's taken enough in so that he's not 'starving', offer him the left one,
still lying down. Sometimes my baby prefers to lie down and eat also. She
also likes the Boppy pillow.

I would feed your baby as you see fit. Don't worry about your mom wanting
to feed him. You have to do what is best for you and your baby. Your mom
had her time to feed babies - I assume she fed you and your siblings. Now
it's your turn. If she puts up a fuss, she's just being selfish. JMHO,
good luck.


"Shunaari" wrote in message
m...
Ok, I know I have posted messages here before and I have been told off
by many of you - and this is partly because of my carelessness. Now I
am really worried as I have tried for two days to get my son back on
the breast and it seems to be getting harder each time....

Is there anyway that I can re-vert back to the brast? Is it possible??

My son is 12 weeks now and over the past week, I have been giving him
the bottle occasionally. Reason being is that I am staying at my
mothers house (I'll be going home next week) and she always wants to
feed him, so I give her the bottle. I didnt know it was going to make
my son not take the breast in such a short space of time.

He will not take the left breast no matter how much I try, but for
some reason will do it if I am lying down next to him and not carrying
him. In my arms he will take the right breast. When he is hungry, and
wide awake, I feel like I have to fight with him and he cries so much
when i offer the breast to him. But during the nights he just latches
on without nay trouble.

I dont want to feed hom for the next 3-4 months with expressed milk.
PLEASE SOMEONE ADVISE ME! I am in need of desperate help.... I am
getting really stressed out, seems like my son is losing weight
aswell, his cheeks are going in... HOW CAN I GO BACK TO THE BREAST
AGAIN....?

Shunaari wrote:
Ok, I know I have posted messages here before and I have been told off
by many of you - and this is partly because of my carelessness.

You know, I looked at your posting history, and NO ONE has EVER told you off
that I can see. People may have disagreed with you, or with your parenting
decisions, but no one has ever flamed you.

My son is 12 weeks now and over the past week, I have been giving him
the bottle occasionally. Reason being is that I am staying at my
mothers house (I'll be going home next week) and she always wants to
feed him, so I give her the bottle. I didnt know it was going to make
my son not take the breast in such a short space of time.

We warned you that it appeared your son was developing nipple preference.
Wouldn't it make sense to tell your mother that she cannot give your son
bottles because it was jeopardizing your nursing relationship?


I dont want to feed hom for the next 3-4 months with expressed milk.
PLEASE SOMEONE ADVISE ME! I am in need of desperate help.... I am
getting really stressed out, seems like my son is losing weight
aswell, his cheeks are going in... HOW CAN I GO BACK TO THE BREAST
AGAIN....?

I can only give the same advice I gave before and hope that this time you'll
heed it. Stop giving bottles. Spend a few days doing nothing but nursing.
Offer the breast frequently - don't wait until he's really hungry.

--
iphigenia
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

We really are trying to help you here and none of us mean to "tell you off"
but when you ask for advice, and we give it freely in an attempt to help
you, it is frustrating when you come back and do exactly what EVERYONE told
you not to do (keep offering more bottles). You have to stop the bottles
and offer the breast as often as possible. He will not starve himself. You
can try using a syringe or finger feeder (if you really feel you have to
supplement) but DO NOT USE ANY MORE BOTTLES!! Like others have said, you
need to do everything possible (including laying down with him if that's
what it takes) to get him back to breast if that's what you really want.
Your mother will understand that she can help in other ways like changing
him, burping him, playing with him etc. I mean lets face it, giving a baby
a bottle just isn't that interesting a chore if you think about it!

Honestly, the problem doesn't go away on it's own. If the advice that we
give you doesn't work (and you try it), I would seek the help of an LC. The
money is REALLY worth it.


"Shunaari" wrote in message
m...
Ok, I know I have posted messages here before and I have been told off
by many of you - and this is partly because of my carelessness. Now I
am really worried as I have tried for two days to get my son back on
the breast and it seems to be getting harder each time....

Is there anyway that I can re-vert back to the brast? Is it possible??

My son is 12 weeks now and over the past week, I have been giving him
the bottle occasionally. Reason being is that I am staying at my
mothers house (I'll be going home next week) and she always wants to
feed him, so I give her the bottle. I didnt know it was going to make
my son not take the breast in such a short space of time.

He will not take the left breast no matter how much I try, but for
some reason will do it if I am lying down next to him and not carrying
him. In my arms he will take the right breast. When he is hungry, and
wide awake, I feel like I have to fight with him and he cries so much
when i offer the breast to him. But during the nights he just latches
on without nay trouble.

I dont want to feed hom for the next 3-4 months with expressed milk.
PLEASE SOMEONE ADVISE ME! I am in need of desperate help.... I am
getting really stressed out, seems like my son is losing weight
aswell, his cheeks are going in... HOW CAN I GO BACK TO THE BREAST
AGAIN....?

Shunaari wrote:



This morning I was so upset. My son was hungry and I was doing exactly
what you have all told me about lying down next to him and feeding him
as often as I can until he gets used to the breast again. He was
crying for a little while but was calming down as I was feeding him.
My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs.... I just lay
there in tears.... I was in the middle of feeding my son and she took
him waithout letting him finnish. I cannot wait until I go back home,
which is another 4 more days, but anything can happen in the next four
days. She doesnt allow me to spend much time with him, telling me that
I am wasting my time. She is a complete control freak...


I know this is your mother- but why don't you leave sooner?

Shunaari wrote:
OK, so I used the wrong term "tell off", but I dont take what you tell
me in a nasty way. I am well aware that what you tell me is for my own
good, but it is due to my carelessness that things are going the wrong
way for me.

This morning I was so upset. My son was hungry and I was doing exactly
what you have all told me about lying down next to him and feeding him
as often as I can until he gets used to the breast again. He was
crying for a little while but was calming down as I was feeding him.
My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs.... I just lay
there in tears.... I was in the middle of feeding my son and she took
him waithout letting him finnish. I cannot wait until I go back home,
which is another 4 more days, but anything can happen in the next four
days. She doesnt allow me to spend much time with him, telling me that
I am wasting my time. She is a complete control freak...

Can you not go home sooner?

If not, can you lock the door? If there is no lock, and the door opens
into the room, you can jam the tip of a butter knife into the trim if
there is a little gap, so the handle lays along the door.

Or move a dresser or the bed a la the movies.....

It's a pretty important thing to get your baby back to the breast, and
if your mother is interfering and won't stop, you have to DO something.

Go back downstairs and GET your DS.

Dawn, knowing interfering gma's, tho not that badly.

Shunaari wrote:

My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs....

Go and snatch him back. (Easier said than done, I know, but
seriously, I'd go stay in a hotel before I'd stay with
someone who would take my baby away from me. And a few days
in a hotel now will be cheaper than a year's worth of
formula, and easier on everyone than pumping for all his feeds.)


It seems like my milk supply is getting less and less. I have got the
Medela mini electric pump. How often should I pump with it to bring
back the supply? Is there anything that I can eat or drink that my
help?

You might try pumping every hour for 10 minutes, rather than
longer but less frequently. But I think the food that would
help best is one that only your mom could go get, is several
hours away, and has to be fetched fresh each time.

Phoebe

Shunaari

OK. Well now that we have more info we can try to help you a bit more.
Understandably you want to preserve the relationship between yourself and
your mother. However, you are a mother yourself, now, so you need to stand
up for your son's rights to be with his own mother. You don't say how old
you are, but it doesn't sound like you are a teenager, so this shouldn't be
too difficult. Try locking the door as the others have suggested. If this
doesn't work and she comes in anyway, just don't let her snatch the child
away. It's YOUR child and she needs to stop making the decisions for him.
Are you going to let her dicate where he sleeps, what he wears, what
vaccinations he gets etc? If so then she should be prepared to pay for him
to go to college too!! If it were me, I would either leave now (my first
choice) or sit down with her with a list like on www.promom.org/101 and
explain how important this issue is to you and how her actions are directly
affecting your stress levels and parenting decisions. Ultimately, you have
got to be stronger with her because otherwise you are just making one bad
choice after another. If you are not strong enough to tell her to her face,
trash the bottles so she can't feed him. Wear him in a sling so she can't
"snatch" him. Go for a "walk" to get some time with him.

When you are breastfeeding you need to surround yourself with supportive
friends/family in the beginning because people like this sabotage your every
move. I am assuming that you were not breastfed? Perhaps there's an ick
factor with her. Perhaps all she needs is educating or shaming into stop
controlling your every move. Just remember you are a grown woman and she
doesn't have the right to choose what's best for your baby. It sounds like
you know what is. Just go with your instincts and stop letting everyone
else run your life. It'll be better for everyone.

CY
Being firm but kind grin
"Shunaari" wrote in message
om...
OK, so I used the wrong term "tell off", but I dont take what you tell
me in a nasty way. I am well aware that what you tell me is for my own
good, but it is due to my carelessness that things are going the wrong
way for me.

This morning I was so upset. My son was hungry and I was doing exactly
what you have all told me about lying down next to him and feeding him
as often as I can until he gets used to the breast again. He was
crying for a little while but was calming down as I was feeding him.
My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs.... I just lay
there in tears.... I was in the middle of feeding my son and she took
him waithout letting him finnish. I cannot wait until I go back home,
which is another 4 more days, but anything can happen in the next four
days. She doesnt allow me to spend much time with him, telling me that
I am wasting my time. She is a complete control freak...

It seems like my milk supply is getting less and less. I have got the
Medela mini electric pump. How often should I pump with it to bring
back the supply? Is there anything that I can eat or drink that my
help?

Phoebe & Allyson wrote:
Shunaari wrote:

My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs....


Go and snatch him back. (Easier said than done, I know, but seriously,
I'd go stay in a hotel before I'd stay with someone who would take my
baby away from me. And a few days in a hotel now will be cheaper than a
year's worth of formula, and easier on everyone than pumping for all his
feeds.)


absolutely agree....was thinking this, but couln'd repost til DS went
down for his nap just now.

Get OUT of there. Do NOT let your mother interfere with your own
mothering or it will never end. You will regret that you didnt make
your stand sooner and will always resent that you didn't get to nurse if
she screws up your attempts to go back to the breast.

leave DS with her long enough to pack your things, when she hands him
back, explain calmly that you cannot continue to jeopardise your nursing
relarionship, you're sorry that she doesn't have faith in your mothering
ability, but DS is YOUR son, and you will be calling the shots for him
from this moment on. Walk out calmly, get a hotel or go home (why ARE
you there, and planning to stay there??) and refuse to ever again be
drawn into a discussion with her about your parenting. Do NOT fall into
anything that feels familiar, like *letting* her victimize you and take
over your role as mother. Do NOT relent if she pleads and apologises.
Get OUT of there, shake your head clear of the crap and nonsense, and
start mothering your baby with your own style and values.

Trust me on this. I've been in similar tho less intense situation. I
HATE that I didn't follow my heart from day #1, and if I had a do-over,
I would NOT put up with it.

Please, please don't stay there.

Dawn

Also, forgot to mention, as for pumping to bring back your supply, what you
really need to do is nurse nurse nurse (and then pump after you're done with
the nursing). If you are giving any formula at all (not recommended) you
should pump when he's eating it. Everytime he is eating other than from
you, you should be pumping, even if it's EBM.

Oatmeal can help with supply, as can an herbal supplement like Fenugreek,
Blessed Thistle all of which can be found in Lacatflow.

Good luck...
CY
"Shunaari" wrote in message
om...
OK, so I used the wrong term "tell off", but I dont take what you tell
me in a nasty way. I am well aware that what you tell me is for my own
good, but it is due to my carelessness that things are going the wrong
way for me.

This morning I was so upset. My son was hungry and I was doing exactly
what you have all told me about lying down next to him and feeding him
as often as I can until he gets used to the breast again. He was
crying for a little while but was calming down as I was feeding him.
My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs.... I just lay
there in tears.... I was in the middle of feeding my son and she took
him waithout letting him finnish. I cannot wait until I go back home,
which is another 4 more days, but anything can happen in the next four
days. She doesnt allow me to spend much time with him, telling me that
I am wasting my time. She is a complete control freak...

It seems like my milk supply is getting less and less. I have got the
Medela mini electric pump. How often should I pump with it to bring
back the supply? Is there anything that I can eat or drink that my
help?

"Shunaari" wrote in message
om...
OK, so I used the wrong term "tell off", but I dont take what you tell
me in a nasty way. I am well aware that what you tell me is for my own
good, but it is due to my carelessness that things are going the wrong
way for me.

This morning I was so upset. My son was hungry and I was doing exactly
what you have all told me about lying down next to him and feeding him
as often as I can until he gets used to the breast again. He was
crying for a little while but was calming down as I was feeding him.
My mother came into the bedroom and told me off for making him cry and
snatched him away from me and took him down stairs.... I just lay
there in tears.... I was in the middle of feeding my son and she took
him waithout letting him finnish. I cannot wait until I go back home,
which is another 4 more days, but anything can happen in the next four
days. She doesnt allow me to spend much time with him, telling me that
I am wasting my time. She is a complete control freak...


Seriosly Shunaari next time she does that you go take the baby back and
finish what you are doing, go put a lock on your door to prevent her doing
it again. And tell her to butt out he's your baby and you are doing really
well by him.
How old are you may I ask? Does she always treat you like a child?

It seems like my milk supply is getting less and less. I have got the
Medela mini electric pump. How often should I pump with it to bring
back the supply? Is there anything that I can eat or drink that my
help?

Nursing as often is possible is the best way to bring back your supply and
then pump afterwards or between feeds, but DO NOT skip feeds in order to
pump!
I tried oats (as porridge) and I squirted my son I was so full! lol!
Good luck, I hope you get this sorted..........but please you've got to
stand up to your mum.

--
Marie
Mum of 3
DD born 03/98, DS1 born 11/99 DS2 born 08/03