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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
"Michelle Podnar" wrote in message . .. Definitions of breastfeeding terms: Boob Lift - The unconscious lifting of one's breasts to check which is fuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you're talking to, grocery sackers and priests notwithstanding. Nursing Flip - The action of adjusting you and your to make ready for nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the "boob-lift", putting the in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds, with no attention taken away from your previous task. Wet-Nurse Syndrome - The unconscious urge to nurse any fussy you happen to be holding; you may be engaged in casual conversation while holding your neighbor's , she fusses and you do the "nursing flip," your neighbor looks at you shocked, "oh my, she must be hungry," you mumble as you pass her infant back. *A side-effect of this is the "breastmilk fixes everything" philosophy. Actually pumping your milk for the stray kitten you found, under the rational that, of course, human milk is better than cow milk for a starving kitten. You may also find yourself using breastmilk for your family's various wounds: "Got a sore, earache or zit? Put some breastmilk on it, that'll fix it.'' (least that's what they say, can't hurt) Boobie Wrangling - The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing, including but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy pulls, all while surrounded by relatives who believe that should have been weaned months ago. The benefit of this exercise is that you can now nurse your child while each of you lie on your backs. Twiddling - What happens if everyone fails to mention that your caressing your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, never let your know that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time. Always keep the unused breast covered, lest you want your little nursling to use it as her favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed our warning. The Steal - The act of removing your nipple from your already sleeping 's mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for some midnight internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeed. Just a Sip - When your now-walking comes to you, lifts your shirt, grabs a drink to refuel him/herself for 10 more minutes of play. This act of helping themselves is a show of independence for them, and a show of breast for everyone else in the room. Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. does anyone actually do this? funny post though. -- elizabeth (in australia) DS - born 20-aug-02 |
#2
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
"Michelle Podnar" wrote in message . .. Definitions of breastfeeding terms: Boob Lift - The unconscious lifting of one's breasts to check which is fuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you're talking to, grocery sackers and priests notwithstanding. yup, done this one Nursing Flip - The action of adjusting you and your to make ready for nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the "boob-lift", putting the in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds, with no attention taken away from your previous task. this one too... Wet-Nurse Syndrome - The unconscious urge to nurse any fussy you happen to be holding; you may be engaged in casual conversation while holding your neighbor's , she fusses and you do the "nursing flip," your neighbor looks at you shocked, "oh my, she must be hungry," you mumble as you pass her infant back. *A side-effect of this is the "breastmilk fixes everything" philosophy. was pretty close to this one with my sister's baby (but REALLY it would have fixed the problem) Actually pumping your milk for the stray kitten you found, under the rational that, of course, human milk is better than cow milk for a starving kitten. ROFLMAO! Yup, I did this one too *snort* my 14yo brought home a 5wo kitten one day and I couldn't think of a damn ting else to do for it and we didn't have any cows milk in the house. Ended up having to take it to the local police station though because DH said (and I quote) "NO MORE FUGGIN ANIMALS!!!!!!" But the kitten was promptly adopted by the nice lady officer behind the window at the station You may also find yourself using breastmilk for your family's various wounds: "Got a sore, earache or zit? Put some breastmilk on it, that'll fix it.'' (least that's what they say, can't hurt) nope, haven't done this one yet..but Bub ain't weaned yet either LOL Boobie Wrangling - The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing, including but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy pulls, all while surrounded by relatives who believe that should have been weaned months ago. The benefit of this exercise is that you can now nurse your child while each of you lie on your backs.] Oh yea, this one is an "OFTEN AS POSSIBLE" for him *grumble* I hated getting em twisted when I was in school...now I'm a mommy and have to deal with it anyway LOL. Twiddling - What happens if everyone fails to mention that your caressing your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, never let your know that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time. Always keep the unused breast covered, lest you want your little nursling to use it as her favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed our warning. Oh yea! NOOOOOW you tell me ;p~ The Steal - The act of removing your nipple from your already sleeping 's mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for some midnight internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeed. Every. Single. Night. And that's 4 or 5 tries mind you. Just a Sip - When your now-walking comes to you, lifts your shirt, grabs a drink to refuel him/herself for 10 more minutes of play. This act of helping themselves is a show of independence for them, and a show of breast for everyone else in the room. I've almost decided to wear a bra with a padlock over this one LOL Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. Boy that trip to Florida was long Ecstasy Eyes - Picture this: is screaming at your feet while you are talking on the phone, cooking dinner, and getting a band-aid for your toddler. You finally sit and pick up the to nurse, and she goes from screaming wildly to rolling her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasy in only a few seconds. Except when we stopped at the rest stops because not only was he thirsty, his butt was numb from the seat Kneading - The act of dang near maiming your breast tissue while your adorable (and sharp nailed) little one nurses. This can result in your breast looking like you've just nursed a kitten. OW OW OW! Fall asleep QUICK you little stinker so I can CLIP those razors you claim to be as fingernails! Jen -- Michelle P Ava Marie July 14, 2002 |
#3
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
elizabeth emerald wrote:
"Michelle Podnar" wrote in message . .. Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. does anyone actually do this? I will admit to having done that from Oklahoma to Nevada. Lots of elevation changes made for very cranky Caterpillar, and stopping every 30 seconds wasn't going to work long-term. Phoebe |
#4
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
Definitions of breastfeeding terms:
Boob Lift - The unconscious lifting of one's breasts to check which is fuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you're talking to, grocery sackers and priests notwithstanding. Nursing Flip - The action of adjusting you and your to make ready for nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the "boob-lift", putting the in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds, with no attention taken away from your previous task. Wet-Nurse Syndrome - The unconscious urge to nurse any fussy you happen to be holding; you may be engaged in casual conversation while holding your neighbor's , she fusses and you do the "nursing flip," your neighbor looks at you shocked, "oh my, she must be hungry," you mumble as you pass her infant back. *A side-effect of this is the "breastmilk fixes everything" philosophy. Actually pumping your milk for the stray kitten you found, under the rational that, of course, human milk is better than cow milk for a starving kitten. You may also find yourself using breastmilk for your family's various wounds: "Got a sore, earache or zit? Put some breastmilk on it, that'll fix it.'' (least that's what they say, can't hurt) Boobie Wrangling - The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing, including but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy pulls, all while surrounded by relatives who believe that should have been weaned months ago. The benefit of this exercise is that you can now nurse your child while each of you lie on your backs. Twiddling - What happens if everyone fails to mention that your caressing your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, never let your know that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time. Always keep the unused breast covered, lest you want your little nursling to use it as her favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed our warning. The Steal - The act of removing your nipple from your already sleeping 's mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for some midnight internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeed. Just a Sip - When your now-walking comes to you, lifts your shirt, grabs a drink to refuel him/herself for 10 more minutes of play. This act of helping themselves is a show of independence for them, and a show of breast for everyone else in the room. Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. Ecstasy Eyes - Picture this: is screaming at your feet while you are talking on the phone, cooking dinner, and getting a band-aid for your toddler. You finally sit and pick up the to nurse, and she goes from screaming wildly to rolling her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasy in only a few seconds. Kneading - The act of dang near maiming your breast tissue while your adorable (and sharp nailed) little one nurses. This can result in your breast looking like you've just nursed a kitten. -- Michelle P Ava Marie July 14, 2002 |
#5
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
lol
I always jiggle my bosoms to see how full they are. I do The Steal all the time, and the Ecstasy eyes are adorable. "Michelle Podnar" wrote in message . .. Definitions of breastfeeding terms: Boob Lift - The unconscious lifting of one's breasts to check which is fuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you're talking to, grocery sackers and priests notwithstanding. Nursing Flip - The action of adjusting you and your to make ready for nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the "boob-lift", putting the in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds, with no attention taken away from your previous task. Wet-Nurse Syndrome - The unconscious urge to nurse any fussy you happen to be holding; you may be engaged in casual conversation while holding your neighbor's , she fusses and you do the "nursing flip," your neighbor looks at you shocked, "oh my, she must be hungry," you mumble as you pass her infant back. *A side-effect of this is the "breastmilk fixes everything" philosophy. Actually pumping your milk for the stray kitten you found, under the rational that, of course, human milk is better than cow milk for a starving kitten. You may also find yourself using breastmilk for your family's various wounds: "Got a sore, earache or zit? Put some breastmilk on it, that'll fix it.'' (least that's what they say, can't hurt) Boobie Wrangling - The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing, including but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy pulls, all while surrounded by relatives who believe that should have been weaned months ago. The benefit of this exercise is that you can now nurse your child while each of you lie on your backs. Twiddling - What happens if everyone fails to mention that your caressing your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, never let your know that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time. Always keep the unused breast covered, lest you want your little nursling to use it as her favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed our warning. The Steal - The act of removing your nipple from your already sleeping 's mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for some midnight internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeed. Just a Sip - When your now-walking comes to you, lifts your shirt, grabs a drink to refuel him/herself for 10 more minutes of play. This act of helping themselves is a show of independence for them, and a show of breast for everyone else in the room. Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. Ecstasy Eyes - Picture this: is screaming at your feet while you are talking on the phone, cooking dinner, and getting a band-aid for your toddler. You finally sit and pick up the to nurse, and she goes from screaming wildly to rolling her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasy in only a few seconds. Kneading - The act of dang near maiming your breast tissue while your adorable (and sharp nailed) little one nurses. This can result in your breast looking like you've just nursed a kitten. -- Michelle P Ava Marie July 14, 2002 |
#6
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
All the time!! It's so much harder with a forward facing seat than a rear
facing one though! "elizabeth emerald" wrote in Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. does anyone actually do this? funny post though. -- elizabeth (in australia) DS - born 20-aug-02 |
#7
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
"Michelle Podnar" wrote in message ...
Definitions of breastfeeding terms: snort Well, I'll be forwarding that on to a few people;; thanks! -- C, mama to seventeen month old nursling |
#8
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Breastfeeding Terms - Funny
"elizabeth emerald" wrote in message ... Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your butt in the rearview mirror. does anyone actually do this? Heavens, yes, and yes for most of the rest, including giving unused EBM to my skinny old cat, who seemed to like it. I have logged so many, many miles leaning over a car seat! At first it was like car surfing, but when we switched to a bigger car seat and DS could sit up better, I just had to fold a leg under myself and lean. Beth |
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