child support questions

How's it going everyone,

I thought I might post this question here since I'm looking for
information regarding child support.
I currently know a woman that has 4 children all by the same father
and this person is her former husband. Their current ages are 16, 14,
13, and 11.

Here is the situation. He was ordered to pay child support during the
divorce that happened 6 or so years ago. The amount ordered was around
$800 per month.

For a time the father paid the support in a timely manner. The father
later started his own business, a construction company of some sort.
In the last year the father has stopped paying his support. The
mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage,
but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). I helped
the mother go through the local child support recovery service to
request that the support be paid. The agency simply sent a letter to
the father telling him that they have received a complaint that the
ordered support hasn't been paid in over a year and gave him a total
of what is owed. The father contacted the mother outraged at the bill.
The father agreed to send "some money" for child support every month
but wanted the mother to waive the back support (from what I
understand this is not something that the mother can even agree to,
and I strongly recommended against it). However the mother wanted to
make a deal with the father. There has been lots of medical bills
pilling up over the last year and some have went to collections. The
bills amounted to about 2k vs the over 7k that the father owed in back
support. The mother simply wanted the father to take care of the past
medical bills that the children racked up and she would not go after
him for the back support.

This is where things get even stranger. She agreed to meet with the
father at his home to discuss the bills. Even though she had a bag
full of invoices from doctor offices when they added up the total he
became outraged and refused to pay the bills in return for forgiving
the back support. Before she could leave he assaulted her in his
house , pushing her to the floor and man handling her (btw, happened a
couple of times during the marriage also and the police was also
called and an arrest was made). She was left with multiple bruises and
an abrasion to the head after she struck the corner of a wall after
being pushed. When she returned home the police was called and
pictures of the bruises were taken. A warrant for the arrest of the
father was issued and about a month later the father was arrested. The
court date for the assault has been issued.

Since the arrest the father now states that he wants nothing to do
with the children. He does not want to see or speak with them. He
states that he is disowning them and has vowed to seek revenge on the
mother for having him arrested. Needless to say the mother is quite
sure that she will not be seeing any voluntary child support from the
father any time soon.

I'm sure that the next step that should be taken is get a lawyer.
However the problem that the mother is having is that the father is
self employed. He has a bank account that is in the name of his
company, but most jobs seem to be done under the table. Also the
father is not very keen on reporting any income to the IRS. So proving
income may not be as cut and dry as it should be. Also if the father
was an employee with some company it would be easy to have his wages
garnished. But since he is the owner that may not be so easy. I doubt
if he is actually paying himself though a payroll but instead just
living off the income that the company takes in. Also his company is
not a separate entity from him. He has not turned it into a
corporation, LLC, or any such thing.

So does anyone have any advise on this situation?

Oh, and I'm sure that some people may be asking what is my relation in
this entire thing. I'm the recent boyfriend that for some reason has
decided to stick around. Just kidding about the sticking around part.
I love the mother, I love the kids. I just find it sickening that a
father would act the way that this person has. I've always felt that
parents should support their children. And sometimes that support
comes in the way of financial responsibility.
The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from
his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and
recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I
ever feel in a pinch for cash. And there is no way that anyone could
come to the conclusion that I ever had the idea of going out with the
mother for her money. Actually I'm sure that I'll soon be opening my
checkbook to pay for attorney fees to make sure that the children get
what they are due.

wrote in message
s.com...

So does anyone have any advise on this situation?

Move out and butt out!

Let me guess - The CS payments stopped when the father realized his ex-wife
was shacking up with you. He rightfully decided the money he was paying to
provide food, housing, etc. for his children was being shared with a guy
living there. Live-in boyfriends are leeches who divorced fathers despise.

On all the other issues - CS, visitation, and medical coverage are none of
your business so stay out of it. The issues are between the parents of the
children. You know (or think you know) a lot about their circumstances.
It's none of your business.

wrote in message
s.com...
. The
mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage,
but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year).
..
The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from
his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and
recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I
ever feel in a pinch for cash.

Sounds to me like her 20k a year and your 60k a year Is plenty of money to
raise the kids.

wrote in message
s.com...
How's it going everyone,

I thought I might post this question here since I'm looking for
information regarding child support.
I currently know a woman that has 4 children all by the same father
and this person is her former husband. Their current ages are 16, 14,
13, and 11.

Here is the situation. He was ordered to pay child support during the
divorce that happened 6 or so years ago. The amount ordered was around
$800 per month.

For a time the father paid the support in a timely manner. The father
later started his own business, a construction company of some sort.
In the last year the father has stopped paying his support. The
mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage,
but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). I helped
the mother go through the local child support recovery service to
request that the support be paid. The agency simply sent a letter to
the father telling him that they have received a complaint that the
ordered support hasn't been paid in over a year and gave him a total
of what is owed. The father contacted the mother outraged at the bill.
The father agreed to send "some money" for child support every month
but wanted the mother to waive the back support (from what I
understand this is not something that the mother can even agree to,
and I strongly recommended against it). However the mother wanted to
make a deal with the father. There has been lots of medical bills
pilling up over the last year and some have went to collections. The
bills amounted to about 2k vs the over 7k that the father owed in back
support. The mother simply wanted the father to take care of the past
medical bills that the children racked up and she would not go after
him for the back support.

This is where things get even stranger. She agreed to meet with the
father at his home to discuss the bills. Even though she had a bag
full of invoices from doctor offices when they added up the total he
became outraged and refused to pay the bills in return for forgiving
the back support. Before she could leave he assaulted her in his
house , pushing her to the floor and man handling her (btw, happened a
couple of times during the marriage also and the police was also
called and an arrest was made). She was left with multiple bruises and
an abrasion to the head after she struck the corner of a wall after
being pushed. When she returned home the police was called and
pictures of the bruises were taken. A warrant for the arrest of the
father was issued and about a month later the father was arrested. The
court date for the assault has been issued.

Since the arrest the father now states that he wants nothing to do
with the children. He does not want to see or speak with them. He
states that he is disowning them and has vowed to seek revenge on the
mother for having him arrested. Needless to say the mother is quite
sure that she will not be seeing any voluntary child support from the
father any time soon.

I'm sure that the next step that should be taken is get a lawyer.
However the problem that the mother is having is that the father is
self employed. He has a bank account that is in the name of his
company, but most jobs seem to be done under the table. Also the
father is not very keen on reporting any income to the IRS. So proving
income may not be as cut and dry as it should be. Also if the father
was an employee with some company it would be easy to have his wages
garnished. But since he is the owner that may not be so easy. I doubt
if he is actually paying himself though a payroll but instead just
living off the income that the company takes in. Also his company is
not a separate entity from him. He has not turned it into a
corporation, LLC, or any such thing.

So does anyone have any advise on this situation?

Oh, and I'm sure that some people may be asking what is my relation in
this entire thing. I'm the recent boyfriend that for some reason has
decided to stick around. Just kidding about the sticking around part.
I love the mother, I love the kids. I just find it sickening that a
father would act the way that this person has. I've always felt that
parents should support their children. And sometimes that support
comes in the way of financial responsibility.
The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from
his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and
recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I
ever feel in a pinch for cash. And there is no way that anyone could
come to the conclusion that I ever had the idea of going out with the
mother for her money. Actually I'm sure that I'll soon be opening my
checkbook to pay for attorney fees to make sure that the children get
what they are due.

You've already put her in touch with the people who will be willing to help
her with her situation. SHE needs to follow through on it. If you insert
yourself into it, it will get very messy, very fast. Let HER do what needs
to be done--ie: keep in touch with the county agency that handles such
issues.

As for the assault, the police and district attorney handle such things.
She doesn't have to do a thing except appear in court when required.

What else do you think should be done? Why does she even need an attorney?
CSE will handle the child support issue and criminal justice the assault
issue.

On Sep 3, 12:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
wrote in message

s.com...

So does anyone have any advise on this situation?

Move out and butt out!

Let me guess - The CS payments stopped when the father realized his ex-wife
was shacking up with you. He rightfully decided the money he was paying to
provide food, housing, etc. for his children was being shared with a guy
living there. Live-in boyfriends are leeches who divorced fathers despise.

On all the other issues - CS, visitation, and medical coverage are none of
your business so stay out of it. The issues are between the parents of the
children. You know (or think you know) a lot about their circumstances.
It's none of your business.

Nah, the support stopped long before I was in the picture. Me going
out with her just gave him a new excuse to use.
I've also thought about just saying "you know what love." " You money
problems are your own, not my kids, not my problem if they eat or
not" (which is actually a true statement, but I feel that I shouldn't
be going out with her since the kids are part of the package and I
knew that going into this relationship.)

Also where did I mention who was living with who. She lives in a dump
in the horrid part of town. I have far to many nice things to even
think about moving that stuff into her house. Not to mention I don't
like living in rentals. However I have been looking at a larger house.
Something that would accommodate us and the kids. It would be my
house, my mortgage payment and she would not be contributing to the
mortgage at all. Not to mention that her credit rating would would do
nothing but hurt the rate on the loan anyway. BTW all the bad credit
is from, yep, you guessed it, past due medical bills going to
collection. I know, we went over her credit reports together.

But to touch on some of your other fine points. I also never mentioned
visitation. Before the father decided to kick the mothers ass one day
the kids used to head over to his house (about a mile away) every
other weekend. when school was out they were there for a week at a
time every two weeks. Not that they wanted to go, but the mother felt
that it was important for them to keep in touch with the father. She
provides medical coverage and always has since the divorce. But there
were some items that the insurance didn't cover and her money didn't
stretch far enough to pay the bill, put food on the table, keep the
lights on, and pay the rent. I've already had her list her bills and
I've figured them into my budget. I'll get them paid, that's not a
problem. I've also had her redo her budget to factor out the sporadic
and often non-existent support payments from the father. So it will
be a bit tight for the mother without the support but I have no
problem stepping in where he has failed to perform.

But I think you may be right Bob. I may be looking at this the wrong
way. Perhaps this guy is not the slime that I think he is. When I
bought her kids shoes because the two sons actually had holes in the
bottom of theirs I'm pretty sure there was a good reason for that.
Oh, and I know what your thinking. The mom is mis-allocating that
money. And that came to mind. I'm I being taken? Am I a wallet? Heck,
this is the reason why I didn't have kids to make sure that I wouldn't
be paycheck for the next 18 years! Well, I've gone over her finances.
Because I wanted to make sure where the money was going. And with the
child support she did OK. Without things are horribly tight in their
house. I looked at their expenses to see what can be trimmed. There's
no more cutting that can be done. Period. The only thing that counts
as a luxury in my book (and LOTS of things count as luxuries in my
book) is her cell phone. But that is her primary phone. And the bill
isn't more then she would be paying for a traditional land line.
Considering that she needs to be contacted in case of any emergencies
while the kids are in school it makes sense to use the cell phone
instead. There is no cable, no satellite, no internet, no new car,
nothing. She did have a payment for furniture from a rent to own place
but she was unable to keep up with the bi-weekly payments and had to
surrender it back to the store. I had extra furniture sitting in
storage and gave it to her. Rent to own places are such a rip-off.

But yeah Bob. I'm sure I've got this guy all wrong. I'm sure there's
always a good reason to not pay your court ordered child support. And
an even better reason to let your kids suffer because you no longer
love their mother. And I'm pretty sure that the father is plenty
****ed that the mother didn't go down in flames because some asshole
like me stepped up to the plate and supported his kids when he refused
to. It's a shame that when I was growing up I had this understanding
that children was a responsibility for both of the people that had
them. I didn't know that I could just screw until the cows came home
and not have to worry about knocking up anyone. I could have had so
much more fun and bedded so many more women. I'll need to pass that
info along to her sons though. If they get someone knocked up don't
worry about it. Just carry on as if nothing happened. And hope that
she gets a boyfriend because then your off the hook completely. Ignore
your children and the problem will go away. Oh if I just would have
known then, what I know now!

wrote in message
ups.com...
On Sep 3, 12:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
wrote in message

s.com...

So does anyone have any advise on this situation?

Move out and butt out!

Let me guess - The CS payments stopped when the father realized his
ex-wife
was shacking up with you. He rightfully decided the money he was paying
to
provide food, housing, etc. for his children was being shared with a guy
living there. Live-in boyfriends are leeches who divorced fathers
despise.

On all the other issues - CS, visitation, and medical coverage are none
of
your business so stay out of it. The issues are between the parents of
the
children. You know (or think you know) a lot about their circumstances.
It's none of your business.

Nah, the support stopped long before I was in the picture. Me going
out with her just gave him a new excuse to use.
I've also thought about just saying "you know what love." " You money
problems are your own, not my kids, not my problem if they eat or
not" (which is actually a true statement, but I feel that I shouldn't
be going out with her since the kids are part of the package and I
knew that going into this relationship.)

Also where did I mention who was living with who. She lives in a dump
in the horrid part of town. I have far to many nice things to even
think about moving that stuff into her house. Not to mention I don't
like living in rentals. However I have been looking at a larger house.
Something that would accommodate us and the kids. It would be my
house, my mortgage payment and she would not be contributing to the
mortgage at all. Not to mention that her credit rating would would do
nothing but hurt the rate on the loan anyway. BTW all the bad credit
is from, yep, you guessed it, past due medical bills going to
collection. I know, we went over her credit reports together.

But to touch on some of your other fine points. I also never mentioned
visitation. Before the father decided to kick the mothers ass one day
the kids used to head over to his house (about a mile away) every
other weekend. when school was out they were there for a week at a
time every two weeks. Not that they wanted to go, but the mother felt
that it was important for them to keep in touch with the father. She
provides medical coverage and always has since the divorce. But there
were some items that the insurance didn't cover and her money didn't
stretch far enough to pay the bill, put food on the table, keep the
lights on, and pay the rent. I've already had her list her bills and
I've figured them into my budget. I'll get them paid, that's not a
problem. I've also had her redo her budget to factor out the sporadic
and often non-existent support payments from the father. So it will
be a bit tight for the mother without the support but I have no
problem stepping in where he has failed to perform.

But I think you may be right Bob. I may be looking at this the wrong
way. Perhaps this guy is not the slime that I think he is. When I
bought her kids shoes because the two sons actually had holes in the
bottom of theirs I'm pretty sure there was a good reason for that.
Oh, and I know what your thinking. The mom is mis-allocating that
money. And that came to mind. I'm I being taken? Am I a wallet? Heck,
this is the reason why I didn't have kids to make sure that I wouldn't
be paycheck for the next 18 years! Well, I've gone over her finances.
Because I wanted to make sure where the money was going. And with the
child support she did OK. Without things are horribly tight in their
house. I looked at their expenses to see what can be trimmed. There's
no more cutting that can be done. Period. The only thing that counts
as a luxury in my book (and LOTS of things count as luxuries in my
book) is her cell phone. But that is her primary phone. And the bill
isn't more then she would be paying for a traditional land line.
Considering that she needs to be contacted in case of any emergencies
while the kids are in school it makes sense to use the cell phone
instead. There is no cable, no satellite, no internet, no new car,
nothing. She did have a payment for furniture from a rent to own place
but she was unable to keep up with the bi-weekly payments and had to
surrender it back to the store. I had extra furniture sitting in
storage and gave it to her. Rent to own places are such a rip-off.

But yeah Bob. I'm sure I've got this guy all wrong. I'm sure there's
always a good reason to not pay your court ordered child support. And
an even better reason to let your kids suffer because you no longer
love their mother. And I'm pretty sure that the father is plenty
****ed that the mother didn't go down in flames because some asshole
like me stepped up to the plate and supported his kids when he refused
to. It's a shame that when I was growing up I had this understanding
that children was a responsibility for both of the people that had
them. I didn't know that I could just screw until the cows came home
and not have to worry about knocking up anyone. I could have had so
much more fun and bedded so many more women. I'll need to pass that
info along to her sons though. If they get someone knocked up don't
worry about it. Just carry on as if nothing happened. And hope that
she gets a boyfriend because then your off the hook completely. Ignore
your children and the problem will go away. Oh if I just would have
known then, what I know now!

Why are you so angry? SHE needs to handle the CS matters. But that does
NOT mean that you can't do all the things you have been doing--helping her
with her budget, giving her much-needed furniture, etc. YOU can't change
the father no matter how hard you try. Neither can she. The CS system has
to handle the CS issues. You can get as many court orders as you want
demanding the money--it will still cycle back to CSE to do the collecting.
The CS system is not user friendly--and there are people on both sides of
the aisle--CPs and NCPs--who are hurt by it. You need to focus in on what
YOU can do--not on what the system should be doing but isn't.

I agree...

If he choses not to pay then he will probably sit in jail for a while on
contempt, and on top of that ANY "business" assests that can be identified
can be sold or confiscated, along with his home if his name is on the title.
I have known people that had the homes taken for back support (if the
rearage becomes excessive).

Just let the courts deal with it though, she at the same time still needs to
keep on the courts to get a court date to get this resolved.




"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
s.com...
How's it going everyone,

I thought I might post this question here since I'm looking for
information regarding child support.
I currently know a woman that has 4 children all by the same father
and this person is her former husband. Their current ages are 16, 14,
13, and 11.

Here is the situation. He was ordered to pay child support during the
divorce that happened 6 or so years ago. The amount ordered was around
$800 per month.

For a time the father paid the support in a timely manner. The father
later started his own business, a construction company of some sort.
In the last year the father has stopped paying his support. The
mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage,
but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). I helped
the mother go through the local child support recovery service to
request that the support be paid. The agency simply sent a letter to
the father telling him that they have received a complaint that the
ordered support hasn't been paid in over a year and gave him a total
of what is owed. The father contacted the mother outraged at the bill.
The father agreed to send "some money" for child support every month
but wanted the mother to waive the back support (from what I
understand this is not something that the mother can even agree to,
and I strongly recommended against it). However the mother wanted to
make a deal with the father. There has been lots of medical bills
pilling up over the last year and some have went to collections. The
bills amounted to about 2k vs the over 7k that the father owed in back
support. The mother simply wanted the father to take care of the past
medical bills that the children racked up and she would not go after
him for the back support.

This is where things get even stranger. She agreed to meet with the
father at his home to discuss the bills. Even though she had a bag
full of invoices from doctor offices when they added up the total he
became outraged and refused to pay the bills in return for forgiving
the back support. Before she could leave he assaulted her in his
house , pushing her to the floor and man handling her (btw, happened a
couple of times during the marriage also and the police was also
called and an arrest was made). She was left with multiple bruises and
an abrasion to the head after she struck the corner of a wall after
being pushed. When she returned home the police was called and
pictures of the bruises were taken. A warrant for the arrest of the
father was issued and about a month later the father was arrested. The
court date for the assault has been issued.

Since the arrest the father now states that he wants nothing to do
with the children. He does not want to see or speak with them. He
states that he is disowning them and has vowed to seek revenge on the
mother for having him arrested. Needless to say the mother is quite
sure that she will not be seeing any voluntary child support from the
father any time soon.

I'm sure that the next step that should be taken is get a lawyer.
However the problem that the mother is having is that the father is
self employed. He has a bank account that is in the name of his
company, but most jobs seem to be done under the table. Also the
father is not very keen on reporting any income to the IRS. So proving
income may not be as cut and dry as it should be. Also if the father
was an employee with some company it would be easy to have his wages
garnished. But since he is the owner that may not be so easy. I doubt
if he is actually paying himself though a payroll but instead just
living off the income that the company takes in. Also his company is
not a separate entity from him. He has not turned it into a
corporation, LLC, or any such thing.

So does anyone have any advise on this situation?

Oh, and I'm sure that some people may be asking what is my relation in
this entire thing. I'm the recent boyfriend that for some reason has
decided to stick around. Just kidding about the sticking around part.
I love the mother, I love the kids. I just find it sickening that a
father would act the way that this person has. I've always felt that
parents should support their children. And sometimes that support
comes in the way of financial responsibility.
The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from
his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and
recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I
ever feel in a pinch for cash. And there is no way that anyone could
come to the conclusion that I ever had the idea of going out with the
mother for her money. Actually I'm sure that I'll soon be opening my
checkbook to pay for attorney fees to make sure that the children get
what they are due.

You've already put her in touch with the people who will be willing to
help her with her situation. SHE needs to follow through on it. If you
insert yourself into it, it will get very messy, very fast. Let HER do
what needs to be done--ie: keep in touch with the county agency that
handles such issues.

As for the assault, the police and district attorney handle such things.
She doesn't have to do a thing except appear in court when required.

What else do you think should be done? Why does she even need an
attorney? CSE will handle the child support issue and criminal justice the
assault issue.

The court set child support amount is what the father owes. I don't know
about there, but here in Illinois the child support gets mailed into the
state and they send it to the CP. I've been taken to court several times by
the Department of Public Aid Child Support Enforcment because they
mis-calculated the support amount... several times. If the fathers income
has lowered he can probably get the CS amount lowered for the future
payments but he owes the arrearage. I can't figure out why CSE takes me to
court when I'm paid up (and ahead), but they let this guy get by without
paying. I even had to pay child support when I was in the hospital for 2
months, and out of work 3 months.

I would recommend that the mother get Child Support Enforcment on his case.
If he doesn't have the income, he needs to prove it in court and get it
changed or the arrearage just keeps building up. In my experience, I highly
recommend suicide for NCP's, CSE will harass you, paying your court ordered
support won't help, they still harass you.
Just my $0.02.

RogerN

On Sep 5, 2:29 am, "Roger_N" wrote:
The court setchildsupportamount is what the father owes. I don't know
about there, but here in Illinois thechildsupportgets mailed into the
state and they send it to the CP. I've been taken to court several times by
the Department of Public AidChildSupportEnforcment because they
mis-calculated thesupportamount... several times. If the fathers income
has lowered he can probably get the CS amount lowered for the future
payments but he owes the arrearage. I can't figure out why CSE takes me to
court when I'm paid up (and ahead), but they let this guy get by without
paying. I even had to paychildsupportwhen I was in the hospital for 2
months, and out of work 3 months.

I would recommend that the mother getChildSupportEnforcment on his case.
If he doesn't have the income, he needs to prove it in court and get it
changed or the arrearage just keeps building up. In my experience, I highly
recommend suicide for NCP's, CSE will harass you, paying your court orderedsupportwon't help, they still harass you.
Just my $0.02.

RogerN

I wish the CSE here in NV were that aggressive, 14 yrs of waiting!! I
am very pro-active. I have located him and even forwarded that to
them. They just do what they want how they want!!! I would be much
better off if the NCP just committed suicide, but ugliness won't help
my situation except he would be better off to his child dead than
alive.

wrote
....................

.............. I would be much
better off if the NCP just committed suicide, but ugliness won't help
my situation except he would be better off to his child dead than
alive.
==
Gee, I hope your child never learns to read usenet. Wish I could be a fly on
the
wall when he/she shows that gem to his/her dad.