What to do with DD?

For those of you pregnant with your second (or later) baby or that
already have 2 or more kids...

If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use? DH and I are having a bit of a
panic attack this morning, as my FIL called to tell us he'd had to put
my MIL in the hospital (she has cancer) and they would be unavailable
to watch DD if I go into labor. Granted, MIL could get released
quickly, as they only admitted her to hydrate her and help get her
strength up, but she might not. And even if she did, I don't know if
it's wise to rely on my almost 70-year-old FIL to watch both his wife
and my energetic 20-month-old.

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

-Carlye
DD 9-29-04
DS EDD 6-2-06

Hi,

Again, we're in the same situation (not the sad story of your MIL's cancer,
but the result in itself: no one to babysit DD during labour!). My parents
and DH's live 2 to 3 hours away, except for his father, but he won't be
bothered at work...

We've just moved in this new neighborhood three weeks ago, so we are not
certain who to turn to... The plan is, if I don't have anyone close when
labour starts, as my family is making rounds of appearances, but you know
how it is: chances I'll give birth this afternoon, when NO ONE is available,
and worse still, DH is at work downtown, without the car.

So the plan, if all goes wrong, is I call a cab and take DD with me to
either the Birth Centre or the hospital (Birth Centre if it happens outside
of rush hour, hospital during rush hour). DH will joint us wherever we end
up, and if no one else shows up, he will be taking care of DD.

Hopefully, we'll have an auntie or a grandma coming in the following hours.

Good luck to you!


--
Isabelle
Mlle C 2004-11-27
Guillaume EDD 2006-06-07 or 2006-05-31




"carlye" wrote in message
oups.com...
For those of you pregnant with your second (or later) baby or that
already have 2 or more kids...

If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use? DH and I are having a bit of a
panic attack this morning, as my FIL called to tell us he'd had to put
my MIL in the hospital (she has cancer) and they would be unavailable
to watch DD if I go into labor. Granted, MIL could get released
quickly, as they only admitted her to hydrate her and help get her
strength up, but she might not. And even if she did, I don't know if
it's wise to rely on my almost 70-year-old FIL to watch both his wife
and my energetic 20-month-old.

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

-Carlye
DD 9-29-04
DS EDD 6-2-06

carlye wrote:
For those of you pregnant with your second (or later) baby or that
already have 2 or more kids...

If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use? DH and I are having a bit of a
panic attack this morning, as my FIL called to tell us he'd had to put
my MIL in the hospital (she has cancer) and they would be unavailable
to watch DD if I go into labor. Granted, MIL could get released
quickly, as they only admitted her to hydrate her and help get her
strength up, but she might not. And even if she did, I don't know if
it's wise to rely on my almost 70-year-old FIL to watch both his wife
and my energetic 20-month-old.

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

You might call around to home based child care
providers in your area to see if any were willing to
be on call for you. If you have a doula, she might have
an idea of some resources. You could ask your working
friends--even if they can't do it themselves, they
might know of someone who could.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"carlye" wrote and I snipped:
If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use?

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

Don't discount your friends. I know I'd be happy to be on call for a friend
in labor, working or not. Maybe you can ask a few who work either near your
home or near where you'll deliver. S/he could watch DD for a few hours
until your family member gets there.

And, sorry to hear about your MIL.

Have fun!
-Patty, mom of 1+2

PattyMomVA wrote:
"carlye" wrote and I snipped:
If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use?

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

Don't discount your friends. I know I'd be happy to be on call for a friend
in labor, working or not. Maybe you can ask a few who work either near your
home or near where you'll deliver. S/he could watch DD for a few hours
until your family member gets there.

And don't think it's an all-or-nothing proposition.
If you've got a bunch of friends who are working, they may
be happy to sign on to help knowing that you've got a bunch
of folks on call, so that if any one of them is busy, there'll
be another one who isn't. And, of course, the hours that
they're working are probably the hours that you'd be most
able to find some kind of drop-in care. Think of how you
could cobble together a plan involving multiple friends
and daycare and family (after a few hours).

Best wishes,
Ericka

PattyMomVA wrote:
"carlye" wrote and I snipped:
If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use?

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

Don't discount your friends. I know I'd be happy to be on call for a friend
in labor, working or not. Maybe you can ask a few who work either near your
home or near where you'll deliver. S/he could watch DD for a few hours
until your family member gets there.

And, sorry to hear about your MIL.


Another vote for *call your friends* if they've offered. Seriously --
it's not like you're calling them to stay with DD1 because you're
giving birth every week. I've felt honored when asked -- especially
given that people are wondering and asking, "what can I do to help?"

(There's a neighbor here who recently gave birth via a scheduled
induction because she just didn't feel 'comfortable' with putting
anyone out. Drives me absolutely nutso. I can feel my blood pressure
rising as I think about it.)

if your friiends have offered to help, I'm willing to bet that they're
really offering to help with DD1.

Caledonia

"Caledonia" wrote in message
oups.com...

PattyMomVA wrote:
"carlye" wrote and I snipped:
If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use?

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

Don't discount your friends. I know I'd be happy to be on call for a
friend
in labor, working or not. Maybe you can ask a few who work either near
your
home or near where you'll deliver. S/he could watch DD for a few hours
until your family member gets there.

And, sorry to hear about your MIL.


Another vote for *call your friends* if they've offered. Seriously --
it's not like you're calling them to stay with DD1 because you're
giving birth every week. I've felt honored when asked -- especially
given that people are wondering and asking, "what can I do to help?"

(There's a neighbor here who recently gave birth via a scheduled
induction because she just didn't feel 'comfortable' with putting
anyone out. Drives me absolutely nutso. I can feel my blood pressure
rising as I think about it.)

if your friiends have offered to help, I'm willing to bet that they're
really offering to help with DD1.

#1 stayed over with friends (the only time she had been away from us over
night) when #2 was born. She loved it, and the people she stayed with were
very happy to do it. (except maybe when she sang "twinkle twinkle" at the
top of her voice just after midnight!)
If I was asked to do that for a friend, I would feel honoured.(and to be one
of the first to hear the news!)
Debbie

"carlye" wrote in message
oups.com...
For those of you pregnant with your second (or later) baby or that
already have 2 or more kids...

If you did not have family available to watch your first born if/when
you went into labor, who did you use? DH and I are having a bit of a
panic attack this morning, as my FIL called to tell us he'd had to put
my MIL in the hospital (she has cancer) and they would be unavailable
to watch DD if I go into labor. Granted, MIL could get released
quickly, as they only admitted her to hydrate her and help get her
strength up, but she might not. And even if she did, I don't know if
it's wise to rely on my almost 70-year-old FIL to watch both his wife
and my energetic 20-month-old.

I had my parents, as well as MIL - even SIL if need be, a cousin and an aunt
and uncle, even my grandma. I would probably be hesitant to leave a little
one with FIL if MIL is sick. That just might be too much for him to handle.

We are relatively new in our community, and though we have friends,
they all have full-time jobs. Other family is at least 3 hours away,
which we can't necessarily count on being "close enough," especially
considering my first labor was only 8 hours. I just can't quite wrap
my mind around what we can do or who else we could call -- thought
maybe there was some sort of resource we were forgetting. Thanks.

You'll only be in labor once, and it might seem like forever, it doesn't
really go on forever. A day or two tops is what you'd need to find someone
for, I'd assume. If you've had friends offer, work or no work, I'd try
them. Chances are, they won't turn you down when you need them. Someone
said it's not like you'll be having a baby all the time, and it's not like
you're asking them to take DD so you can go out shopping and to the movies.
I'd try for the friends, if family is just too far away for a good
guarantee. Also, do any of your friends have children who might be old
enough to babysit? You never know, but you might need someone in the
evening or on the weekend when there's no school for the school aged ones
that could babysit. Those kids, added with their parent(s) might work out.
If your friends with children have younger children, maybe consider getting
a recommendation from them on who they use as a sitter. Maybe there's
someone with a babysitter that is more like a nanny (like an older person
who is not a teenager or something like that) - they'd have a better chance
at handling a young one for a longer period of time, and with a
recommendation, who knows.
I'd still go with friends. Line up a few possibilities who are able and
willing to help. If you give enough notice in advance, for those that work,
perhaps they'd be able to inform their employer that they are on call for a
friend (you) who is expecting a baby any day and see if they can make
arrangements to have someone cover for them if they need for last minute.
Lots of people, surprisingly, are willing to help in any way that they can!

-Carlye
DD 9-29-04
DS EDD 6-2-06

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
You might call around to home based child care
providers in your area to see if any were willing to
be on call for you.

That's a good idea, Ericka, thanks. I'd contacted all the commercial
daycare centers and none do drop-in care, but I hadn't tried any
home-based centers. I'll have to get a list and start calling the
home-based providers. Since school just got out here, I'd expect some
of the centers have experienced a change in their daycare population.

-Carlye
DD 9-29-04
DS EDD 6-2-06

Zaz wrote:
Again, we're in the same situation (not the sad story of your MIL's cancer,
but the result in itself: no one to babysit DD during labour!). My parents
and DH's live 2 to 3 hours away, except for his father, but he won't be
bothered at work...

Isabelle, I'm really sorry that you're in a similarly crappy
situtation, but I am glad that someone else, upon contemplation, has
considered this arrangement reasonable. DH has taken an "absolutely
not" stance about staying back (or hanging out in the waiting room)
with DD while I'm laboring or giving birth, but I think it's something
we've got to face as a possible reality.

Thanks.

-Carlye
DD 9-29-04
DS EDD 6-2-06