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#1
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
Why do some people not take no for an answer when they want to hold your
baby? We were just at an extended family holiday party and DS was freaked out by all the noise and strange people. I spent most of the time we were there standing and swaying in a quiet corner soothing him. I knew if anyone else held him he'd be scared. It was the first time most people there had seen him and one cousin in particular was persistent about holding him. Finally, when he had fallen asleep, I gave in against my better judgment, and immediately wished I hadn't. The poor babe was hysterical and it took me half an hour to calm him down again. And still when we were starting to get ready to leave, the same cousin insisted on holding him again, with the same result. -- Cheryl S. Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo. And Jaden, 3 months Cleaning the house while your children are small is like shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing. |
#2
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
Wear him in a sling. That worked like a big "hands off' sign for us. If
he was asleep in there, people cold peek in a bit, otherwise when he was up, people would have to so egregiously violate my personal space to touch him that most people didn't dare. We were very NOT into "passing around" the baby and very into respecting his natural fears and uncertainties. -Karen, mom to Henry 3 1/2 and someone due 4/24/04- |
#3
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
Cheryl S. wrote:
Why do some people not take no for an answer when they want to hold your baby? We were just at an extended family holiday party and DS was freaked out by all the noise and strange people. I spent most of the time we were there standing and swaying in a quiet corner soothing him. I knew if anyone else held him he'd be scared. It was the first time most people there had seen him and one cousin in particular was persistent about holding him. Finally, when he had fallen asleep, I gave in against my better judgment, and immediately wished I hadn't. The poor babe was hysterical and it took me half an hour to calm him down again. And still when we were starting to get ready to leave, the same cousin insisted on holding him again, with the same result. DS was about 3 1/2 months at Thanksgiving and it was the first time he'd seen most of the relatives as well. Fortuantely, he's pretty laid back and doesn't really care who's holding him as long as they'll smile back. =) However, it really urked me because most of the relatives didn't even ask before they took him. As soon as I walked in, someone had lifted him right out of my arms and then the passing began. I had to hunt him down to take him to change his diaper and nurse. One aunt even let him 5 year old son hold him without asking me if I was comfortable with that (which I wasn't considering he'd dropped his baby brother a few months earlier). Manda |
#4
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
"Cheryl S." wrote in message
Why do some people not take no for an answer when they want to hold your baby? We were just at an extended family holiday party and DS was freaked out by all the noise and strange people. I spent most of the time we were there standing and swaying in a quiet corner soothing him. I knew if anyone else held him he'd be scared. It was the first time most people there had seen him and one cousin in particular was persistent about holding him. Finally, when he had fallen asleep, I gave in against my better judgment, and immediately wished I hadn't. The poor babe was hysterical and it took me half an hour to calm him down again. And still when we were starting to get ready to leave, the same cousin insisted on holding him again, with the same result. I went to a work Christmas party last Tuesday and worn DS in the sling the whole time as "protection" from people holding him (and because it left my hands free to eat and so forth). Several people mentioned that they'd like to hold him if I needed to get him out of the sling and I would just say how cozy he was in there. For the first part of the party, he rode around sucking his hand and looking out at everybody, then he went to sleep. After he was sleeping, I had a few people mention holding him if he woke up (but he didn't). I'm shocked by how free people are with touching babies too! When people at the party that I know well touched him, it didn't seem so nervy, but I had virtual strangers come up and rub his back through the sling, etc. I've also had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch his face while he was in the sling! Hello! I don't really know how to avoid it (though slinging him helps a *lot*, because then no one tries to hold his hand or take him from me or anything like that). -- Em mama to L-baby, 11 weeks |
#5
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
"Em" wrote I'm shocked by how free people are with touching babies too! When people at the party that I know well touched him, it didn't seem so nervy, but I had virtual strangers come up and rub his back through the sling, etc. I've also had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch his face while he was in the sling! Hello! I don't really know how to avoid it (though slinging him helps a *lot*, because then no one tries to hold his hand or take him from me or anything like that). I cover my baby with a blanket and say she is either asleep or sick. Whens he is in the carseat/carrier, I raise the handle and drape a blanket over it. |
#6
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
On Sun, 7 Dec 2003 18:28:07 -0500, "Cheryl S."
wrote: but then again I might just have mucked up the snipping as usual! Why do some people not take no for an answer when they want to hold your baby? We were just at an extended family holiday party and DS was freaked out by all the noise and strange people. I spent most of the time we were there standing and swaying in a quiet corner soothing him. I knew if anyone else held him he'd be scared. It was the first time most people there had seen him and one cousin in particular was persistent about holding him. Might she have recently have a loss (and maybe not told the rest of the family). I know I get pretty desperate for a hold of a baby if one is around. Megan -- Seoras David Montgomery, 7 May 2003, 17 hours: sunrise to sunset (homebirth) To e-mail use: megan at farr-montgomery dot com |
#7
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
"Cheryl S." wrote in message ... Why do some people not take no for an answer when they want to hold your baby? We were just at an extended family holiday party and DS was freaked out by all the noise and strange people. I spent most of the time we were there standing and swaying in a quiet corner soothing him. I knew if anyone else held him he'd be scared. It was the first time most people there had seen him and one cousin in particular was persistent about holding him. Finally, when he had fallen asleep, I gave in against my better judgment, and immediately wished I hadn't. The poor babe was hysterical and it took me half an hour to calm him down again. And still when we were starting to get ready to leave, the same cousin insisted on holding him again, with the same result. -- Cheryl S. Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo. And Jaden, 3 months Cleaning the house while your children are small is like shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing. Don't know. But I finally learned to nurse in the sling. It worked great for Thanksgiving because the stress relief of nursing helped AND people did not ask to hold DD since I would have to haul her out. I went merrily about Thanksgiving with DD in the sling. S |
#8
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
Finally, when he had fallen asleep, I
gave in against my better judgment, and immediately wished I hadn't. The poor babe was hysterical and it took me half an hour to calm him down again. And still when we were starting to get ready to leave, the same cousin insisted on holding him again, with the same result. -- - Cheryl S. Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo. And Jaden, 3 months Doesn't that just kill you? You dont want to seem like a jerk, but babe is #1! I've been in that situation too. Know exactly what you mean. Did she at least have the good graces to give the baby back, or did you have to pry him away? laurie mommy to Jessica, 2.5 years and Christopher, 7.5 months |
#9
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
Karen wrote in message link.net...
Wear him in a sling. That worked like a big "hands off' sign for us. If he was asleep in there, people cold peek in a bit, otherwise when he was up, people would have to so egregiously violate my personal space to touch him that most people didn't dare. We were very NOT into "passing around" the baby and very into respecting his natural fears and uncertainties. -Karen, mom to Henry 3 1/2 and someone due 4/24/04- Wow, I guess this really is a YMMV sort of issue! Before ds was born, dh and I discussed it and agreed that we were VERY into "passing around" the baby, right from the start, because we each have relatives who were highly protective and preferred not to let others hold the baby very much, and their kids seemed to us to end up with a lot of stranger anxiety and not do as well in loud/crowded social settings. As it turns out, ds loves his space and now, at 11 mo, wriggles and squirms to get away from whoever's holding him (mom and dad included) if he wants to play by himself on the floor. He's very quiet and observant around new people, but he quickly warms to new friends once he's established that we're okay with them, and he doesn't mind being held by lots of different people. On Saturday, without prompting, he reached out to go to my second cousin (whom he'd never met, and who I hadn't seen in seven years). I thought that was great! We've never seen him "make strange", which was our goal. I do a lot of solo travelling with the baby, and it's nice to be able to hand him over for a moment to a security guard when I'm asked to open my bag at the airport, or to a flight attendant, or to ask the person sitting with me on the plane to watch him while I go to the bathroom, and to know that he won't mind at all! Of course, I keep a close eye on him, I worry about safety, and I would never ask a stranger to watch him if we weren't trapped in the airplane! All that said, I was a screamer who wouldn't let go of my mom's neck when I was the same age, and she had a similar parenting philosophy to our own. It probably depends mostly on the child's personality, and had ds shown any discomfort early on with being held by others, we would of course have respected that completely. Also, some other posters have said they've been approached by strangers (like the Wal-Mart greeter!), and that would make me uncomfortable too! Melania and Joffre (recently returned to Manitoba) |
#10
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OT "Let me hold the baby"
Might she have recently have a loss (and maybe not told the rest of
the family). I know I get pretty desperate for a hold of a baby if one is around. Megan Hugs to you, Megan. laurie mommy to Jessica, 2.5 years and Christopher, 7.5 months |
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