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OT "Let me hold the baby"



 
 
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  #21  
Old December 9th 03, 11:38 PM
azure
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"


"Melania" wrote in message
om...

Wow, I guess this really is a YMMV sort of issue! Before ds was born,
dh and I discussed it and agreed that we were VERY into "passing
around" the baby, right from the start, because we each have relatives
who were highly protective and preferred not to let others hold the
baby very much, and their kids seemed to us to end up with a lot of
stranger anxiety and not do as well in loud/crowded social settings.


I was happy with anyone holding my baby until she made it every clear she
didn't like it! Now if you saw me you'd probably think I was highly
protective, even uptight, but it's because those situations end up
stressful, because I need to say no for her. The social pressure is strong.
At 8mo she is warming to her grandparents and my best friend but everyone
else is still a no go zone. I would never ask to hold a baby anymore,
unless I knew the baby well and that they liked it. It's such a relief for
me to go somewhere where noone wants to "have a little hold".

So it's not always the protectiveness that causes stranger anxiety,
sometimes it's the strangers : )

Cheers,

Leah


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  #22  
Old December 10th 03, 09:10 AM
KC
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

I have hated this stranger attention at times when the babies were at
stages where they didn't want stranger's attention. My first dd got
stranger anxiety at 4 months and at almost 4 years still isn't 100%
over it. They call it shyness now. Jessi got it at 5 months and it
vanished by 6 months.

Now with this flu that's really hard on kids going around I am totally
against strangers touching her, and have my hackles up in a big way
over it. Nobody is touching my baby this month!

I really can't imagine why they touch stranger's babies. I wouldn't.
I just smile and wave at stranger's babies.

KC


"Em" wrote in message news:Ff1Bb.269859$Dw6.917891@attbi_s02...


I'm shocked by how free people are with touching babies too! When people at
the party that I know well touched him, it didn't seem so nervy, but I had
virtual strangers come up and rub his back through the sling, etc. I've also
had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch his face while he was in the sling!
Hello! I don't really know how to avoid it (though slinging him helps a
*lot*, because then no one tries to hold his hand or take him from me or
anything like that).

  #23  
Old December 10th 03, 10:01 AM
KC
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

I have hated this stranger attention at times when the babies were at
stages where they didn't want stranger's attention. My first dd got
stranger anxiety at 4 months and at almost 4 years still isn't 100%
over it. They call it shyness now. Jessi got it at 5 months and it
vanished by 6 months.

Now with this flu that's really hard on kids going around I am totally
against strangers touching her, and have my hackles up in a big way
over it. Nobody is touching my baby this month!

KC


"Em" wrote in message news:Ff1Bb.269859$Dw6.917891@attbi_s02...


I'm shocked by how free people are with touching babies too! When people at
the party that I know well touched him, it didn't seem so nervy, but I had
virtual strangers come up and rub his back through the sling, etc. I've also
had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch his face while he was in the sling!
Hello! I don't really know how to avoid it (though slinging him helps a
*lot*, because then no one tries to hold his hand or take him from me or
anything like that).

  #25  
Old December 12th 03, 12:29 PM
Chookie
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

This thread is interesting.

1. I am not at all worried by total strangers admiring my baby. What's weird
about that? He IS gorgeous! For another thing, it also shows us that while
our society is becoming less child-friendly, not everyone is anti-babies. I'm
very happy when people use DS as a conversation-starter -- it's better than
eye-rolls and sighs about crying babies. (Just had a conversation today with
a new mother who had been subjected to rude behaviour because her baby is
colicky and cries a lot -- she is feeling very self-conscious about going out
with the baby now, which is sad)

2. IIRC influenza is an *airborne* virus. Unless the baby is a premmie, I
see no reason for the paranoia about germs that some people have displayed.
Babies NEED exposure to germs!

3. Fortunately I have the kind of relatives who ask to nurse the baby, not
the kind who grab the child out of your arms. However, even the grabby ones
can be managed. Expressions like, "Hang on, can you help me with my nappy bag
first," "Give me a chance to sit down!" or even "I think she's done a poo" can
really slow people down.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Jeez; if only those Ancient Greek storytellers had known about the astonishing
creature that is the *Usenet hydra*: you cut off one head, and *a stupider one*
grows back..." -- MJ, cam.misc
  #26  
Old December 12th 03, 01:32 PM
Mary Ann Tuli
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"



Chookie wrote:
This thread is interesting.

1. I am not at all worried by total strangers admiring my baby. What's weird
about that?


I believe the original post was not so much about whether people should
or should not be allowed to hold a young baby, but more a complaint
about why, when people are told "no" for whatever reason, they persist
and persist or simply grab the baby. It's an issue of respect IMO.

Mary Ann

  #27  
Old December 12th 03, 01:41 PM
Sue
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

Chookie wrote in message
...
This thread is interesting.

1. I am not at all worried by total strangers admiring my baby. What's

weird about that? He IS gorgeous! For another thing, it also shows us
that while our society is becoming less child-friendly, not everyone is
anti-babies. I'm very happy when people use DS as a
conversation-starter -- it's better than eye-rolls and sighs about crying
babies. (Just had a conversation today with a new mother who had been
subjected to rude behaviour because her baby is colicky and cries a lot --
she is feeling very self-conscious about going out with the baby now, which
is sad)

2. IIRC influenza is an *airborne* virus. Unless the baby is a premmie,

I see no reason for the paranoia about germs that some people have
displayed. Babies NEED exposure to germs!

3. Fortunately I have the kind of relatives who ask to nurse the baby,

not the kind who grab the child out of your arms. However, even the grabby
ones can be managed. Expressions like, "Hang on, can you help me with my
nappy bag first," "Give me a chance to sit down!" or even "I think she's
done a poo" can really slow people down.

I'm with you Chookie. There was only one time I got freaked out by everyone
holding the baby. It was my first and that was when I was still in the
hospital with her. She was only a few hours old and I had like ten people in
the room passing her around. DD1 wasn't unhappy, but I was a new mom, lol.
After that and even when she became immunocompromised, I figured the more
germs she can get used to the better. I really don't get freaked out about
germs at all. I see some moms wiping down chairs and tables before baby sits
down. Certainly good handwashing is in order, but some people do go
overboard and they don't realize that babies do need to be exposed to
outside germs. I do understand that Cheryl is more upset at her relatives
not respecting the babies feelings, but at the same time, the relatives were
probably thinking that they could settle the baby down for Cheryl and
possiby give her a break. I think there are just some people (like myself)
who really love babies and love to hold them. I personally see nothing wrong
with having the baby get used to others holding them besides mom.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...



  #28  
Old December 12th 03, 04:17 PM
C&J
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

WOW..........you read my mind....LOL
Or maybe I just don't have a mind of my own

Crystal
38 weeks & counting!!


"Chookie" wrote in message
...
This thread is interesting.

1. I am not at all worried by total strangers admiring my baby. What's

weird
about that? He IS gorgeous! For another thing, it also shows us that

while
our society is becoming less child-friendly, not everyone is anti-babies.

I'm
very happy when people use DS as a conversation-starter -- it's better

than
eye-rolls and sighs about crying babies. (Just had a conversation today

with
a new mother who had been subjected to rude behaviour because her baby is
colicky and cries a lot -- she is feeling very self-conscious about going

out
with the baby now, which is sad)

2. IIRC influenza is an *airborne* virus. Unless the baby is a premmie,

I
see no reason for the paranoia about germs that some people have

displayed.
Babies NEED exposure to germs!

3. Fortunately I have the kind of relatives who ask to nurse the baby,

not
the kind who grab the child out of your arms. However, even the grabby

ones
can be managed. Expressions like, "Hang on, can you help me with my nappy

bag
first," "Give me a chance to sit down!" or even "I think she's done a poo"

can
really slow people down.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Jeez; if only those Ancient Greek storytellers had known about the

astonishing
creature that is the *Usenet hydra*: you cut off one head, and *a stupider

one*
grows back..." -- MJ, cam.misc


  #29  
Old December 12th 03, 05:17 PM
Nevermind
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Posts: n/a
Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

Chookie wrote in message ...
This thread is interesting.

1. I am not at all worried by total strangers admiring my baby. What's weird
about that? He IS gorgeous! For another thing, it also shows us that while
our society is becoming less child-friendly, not everyone is anti-babies.


I had my 8 YO and 11 MO out at a Dunkin Donuts shop yesterday because
we had time to kill before a lesson, and I absolutely loved when the
entire group of old people in there (it is a seniors mecca) at one
point came over to admire the baby (and her brother), ask about my
family (what ages are they? had they had flu shots? etc.), and then
share stories about their own kids and grandkids. Noone touched her,
but some got pretty darn close. I am very private and never start
conversations with strangers, but I have had so many people, in
particular older people, start conversations with me about the baby.
It's very nice.
  #30  
Old December 13th 03, 01:33 AM
Cheryl S.
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Default OT "Let me hold the baby"

"Sue" wrote in message
...
I do understand that Cheryl is more upset at her relatives
not respecting the babies feelings,


Yup. :-)

but at the same time, the relatives were
probably thinking that they could settle the baby down for Cheryl and
possiby give her a break.


Ah, hadn't thought of that. Could be, but I am quite sure he would not
have settled down.

I personally see nothing wrong
with having the baby get used to others holding them besides mom.


I don't either, as long as the baby is not acting traumatized. He can
get used to other people later. :-)
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.


 




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