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upset at nanny -- vent



 
 
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  #61  
Old February 11th 04, 04:14 PM
Nina
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Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Marie" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 11 Feb 2004 14:56:09 +0100, "Tine Andersen"
wrote:
I just cook, housekeep and clean BESIDES having a full time job. If

I only
had to do that my house would be spotless, or I would spin, knit,

sew and
weave which I don't consider work but play.


Trust me, no one's house is spotless just because they stay at home.
During the hours you are working "full time", what do you think stay
at home mothers are doing? Like the joke about the husband who comes
home and looks around and asks "So what did you do all day?" Our

days
are full of taking care of our children, with children at home they
make messes. We don't just leave our nice clean house in the

mornings
and come home to the same nice clean homes at night as working

mothers
do...our homes are constantly lived in. Our children are being
interacted with, taught, doing arts/crafts, eating... The way I see

it
working out of the house is the easy thing to do as far as how much
work is concerned. And I've been there so I know.
As for knitting/sewing, LMAO No stay-at-home moms *I* know have the
time for that.
Marie


lol
I sewed some baby clothes for my daughter 9 years ago and didnt touch
the machine again Had no time
If I worked my home would be cleaner, but Im in it so much its
constantly being used.


  #62  
Old February 11th 04, 04:19 PM
Tine Andersen
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Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...
Here, a lot of us find that having 2 incomes doesnt help much. The 2nd
income is eaten
away by daycare, transportationa nd other costs. So its beneficial for
one person to stay home.
If one person provides money and one provides services, it may not be
equal or identical
but it is an equitable distribution of labor. Honestly, regarding
laziness, my husband could never afford
to pay someone for the services I render. If I were to work, my salary
wouldnt cover
child care
housework
laundry
etc.
Since we do have a small baby, i prefer to stay home and do these
things rather than work and pay someone for it.
With the number of kids we have, all the Drs appointments, school
meetings, housework etc, there really needs to be someone
home full time.


Things are very different. Daycare is 250-300$ per month. I make 3000$ after
taxes. I can take some hours off - with full pay - to go to the dentist,
doctor, what have you with the kids. When they are ill I can take one day
off - fully payed - and so can DH. When I'm on sick leave I'm payed my full
salary. We have maternaty leave for nearly a year - so I was a SAHM for 6
mos (it has become longer since my kids were born). As everyone works,
school metings are during the evenings - always. Distances are short - most
people can bike to work. This country has more bikes that people. We are
four people - we have (counting) six bikes. They come in all kinds: carrier
cycles, with two chairs for kids, with trailers for groceries and kids.

There is absolutely a difference between having one and two incomes here.

Tine, Denmark


  #63  
Old February 11th 04, 04:24 PM
Dawn Lawson
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Default upset at nanny -- vent



Marie wrote:
On Wed, 11 Feb 2004 14:56:09 +0100, "Tine Andersen"
wrote:

I just cook, housekeep and clean BESIDES having a full time job. If I only
had to do that my house would be spotless, or I would spin, knit, sew and
weave which I don't consider work but play.



Trust me, no one's house is spotless just because they stay at home.


I know LOTS of people who have spotless houses, hot meals, and enjoyable
children because they stay at home.

As for knitting/sewing, LMAO No stay-at-home moms *I* know have the
time for that.


Again, these same moms I know sew, knit, do woodwork, maintain enormous
gardens to feed the families etc.

I suspect from what I have been told by people coming here or hearing
what my plans are for the day that I am further to the camp of spotless
house and such than not.

I dont' see why you can't do all these things if you wanted, when you're
a SAHM.
Marie


  #64  
Old February 11th 04, 04:26 PM
Dawn Lawson
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Default upset at nanny -- vent



Nina wrote:

"Tine Andersen" wrote Being quite
frank: I would probably look down at someone who chose to let

her DH support her and stay at home. I would consider it lazy, I


think.

You're supposed to provide for yourself. I myself would hate to stay


at

home - I need the satisfaction my job gives me. I'm an acceptable


mother,

but I'm not born to be a MOTHER, if you KWIM.


You dont consider the tasks of maintaining a home and family o be
work? I find it
ironic when people approve of working as a daycare worker outside the
home for pay
but consider it laziness when the same job is performed in ones home.
Being a:
daycare worker
cook
housekeeper
are work when paid professsions, but laziness when same functions are
provided at home.


and imo, this is why NAmerican daycare is poorer than what Tine is used
to. We have to be as sensitive to the differences in culture as Tine
has been, if we are to continue asking her to spell out those
differences. She was ASKED what NAmericans do that she finds unusual
and shocking.

Dawn

  #65  
Old February 11th 04, 04:26 PM
Marie
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Default upset at nanny -- vent

On Wed, 11 Feb 2004 15:24:38 GMT, Dawn Lawson
wrote:
Marie wrote:
I know LOTS of people who have spotless houses, hot meals, and enjoyable
children because they stay at home.


Hot meals, I have. Enjoyable children, *I* think so! I guess I do too
much with the kids to spend too much time doing other things. (I
homeschool and the kids are the main part of my life)

Again, these same moms I know sew, knit, do woodwork, maintain enormous
gardens to feed the families etc.


I want a garden, I just need to figure out where to have one where the
cows(not mine) won't eat it through the fences, but there will still
be room for the kids to play. We just moved here a year ago from an
apartment.

I suspect from what I have been told by people coming here or hearing
what my plans are for the day that I am further to the camp of spotless
house and such than not.
I dont' see why you can't do all these things if you wanted, when you're
a SAHM.


I guess if I wanted to do it I could, I just feel there are more
important things to spend my time on. Hmm, I do play piano, do my
online stuff and read as hobbies, and I go out every other weekend
with a friend so I guess there are my "me" times. Except my hobbies
are usually done with a baby on me!
Marie
  #66  
Old February 11th 04, 04:32 PM
Anne Rogers
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Default upset at nanny -- vent

Things are very different. Daycare is 250-300$ per month. I make 3000$ af=
ter
taxes. I can take some hours off - with full pay - to go to the dentist,
doctor, what have you with the kids. When they are ill I can take one day
off - fully payed - and so can DH. When I'm on sick leave I'm payed my fu=

ll
salary. We have maternaty leave for nearly a year - so I was a SAHM for 6
mos (it has become longer since my kids were born). As everyone works,
school metings are during the evenings - always. Distances are short - mo=

st
people can bike to work. This country has more bikes that people. We are
four people - we have (counting) six bikes. They come in all kinds: carri=

er
cycles, with two chairs for kids, with trailers for groceries and kids.


that's quite a difference, you don't say what you do, like whether your
income is near average. I think my full time wage would be close to
average for the UK and after tax that would be a little over =A31000 per
month, full time childcare would be around =A3600 per month, though at that
income you might qualify for some extra tax credit.

I had to take annual leave when ds was sick a few weeks ago.



  #67  
Old February 11th 04, 04:41 PM
Circe
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Default Cultural differences (was: upset at nanny -- vent)

Nina wrote:
"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
k...
"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...
It's not 'negro' in Danish - it's 'neger'. But it's the same
word.

The english translation of "neger' would be "black" not "negro" as
"negro" is basically
a euphemism for black. So calling black people "neger" is the
equivalent of calling them "black" here,
not "negro". Neger probably sounds like ******, which is a Bad
Word.


You are right - I checked my vocabulary - it's 'black'. Was negro
a bad word 35 years ago?


No, negro was then standard usage. It changes.

Er, 35 years ago, I was 4 years old. I'm reasonably sure that Negro was in
disfavor by then. I believe "colored" was actually the favored term by that
time.

That said, Negro was *always* a word with negative implications because it
was coined and used at a time when black people were considered so inferior
in the US that it was okay to enslave them. For obvious reasons, most people
in the US now want to dissociate themselves from that term and all its
baggage.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [23 mos.] mom)

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
Financing for "5" years -- car dealership sign

Mommy: I call you "baby" because I love you.
Julian (age 4): Oh! All right, Mommy baby.

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman


  #68  
Old February 11th 04, 04:49 PM
Tine Andersen
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Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Anne Rogers" skrev i en meddelelse
...
Things are very different. Daycare is 250-300$ per month. I make 3000$

after
taxes. I can take some hours off - with full pay - to go to the dentist,
doctor, what have you with the kids. When they are ill I can take one

day
off - fully payed - and so can DH. When I'm on sick leave I'm payed my

full
salary. We have maternaty leave for nearly a year - so I was a SAHM for

6
mos (it has become longer since my kids were born). As everyone works,
school metings are during the evenings - always. Distances are short -

most
people can bike to work. This country has more bikes that people. We are
four people - we have (counting) six bikes. They come in all kinds:

carrier
cycles, with two chairs for kids, with trailers for groceries and kids.


that's quite a difference, you don't say what you do, like whether your
income is near average. I think my full time wage would be close to
average for the UK and after tax that would be a little over £1000 per
month, full time childcare would be around £600 per month, though at that
income you might qualify for some extra tax credit.

I had to take annual leave when ds was sick a few weeks ago.


My salary is good - I'm a skilled computer professional. A lousy salary
would be 1200$ per month, but you would get reduction in the price of the
day care.

If I had to pay 60% of my salary in day care I might make other decisions. I
also have 5 weeks of paid (even a little higher paid) vacation a year. I
have extra 5 days for family caring (sick children, playing hooky like
today) so it's not so hard to be a full time working mom. BTW, my full time
is 35 hours with no paid lunch.

Tine, Denmark



  #69  
Old February 11th 04, 05:25 PM
Clisby
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Default Cultural differences (was: upset at nanny -- vent)



Circe wrote:
Nina wrote:

"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
.dk...

"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...

It's not 'negro' in Danish - it's 'neger'. But it's the same
word.


The english translation of "neger' would be "black" not "negro" as
"negro" is basically
a euphemism for black. So calling black people "neger" is the
equivalent of calling them "black" here,
not "negro". Neger probably sounds like ******, which is a Bad
Word.

You are right - I checked my vocabulary - it's 'black'. Was negro
a bad word 35 years ago?


No, negro was then standard usage. It changes.


Er, 35 years ago, I was 4 years old. I'm reasonably sure that Negro was in
disfavor by then. I believe "colored" was actually the favored term by that
time.


I think you have it backward - at least, for where I grew up, in S.C.
and Mississippi. "Colored" had been around for a long time - that's
the term my parents (now in their 70s) had used all their lives. The
NAACP is almost 100 years old, after all. I'm pretty sure "Negro" was
more a '40s and '50s successor to "colored" - when I was growing up, the
word "Negro" came with the implication the person saying it wasn't
Southern.


That said, Negro was *always* a word with negative implications because it
was coined and used at a time when black people were considered so inferior
in the US that it was okay to enslave them. For obvious reasons, most people
in the US now want to dissociate themselves from that term and all its
baggage.



I'm not sure I'd say "Negro" was coined - it just means black. And I
disagree that it always had negative connotations - at least not in the
way I think you mean. When I was a child, my parents would consider a
person calling himself/herself a "Negro" to be an outsider, almost a
radical - like someone leading a voting rights drive, for example. To
them, it was a negative term - I doubt that it was to the people who
used it to refer to themselves. (I'm sure Malcolm X considered it a
negative term, but that's another story.)


Clisby

  #70  
Old February 11th 04, 05:31 PM
iphigenia
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Default upset at nanny -- vent

Dawn Lawson wrote:

and imo, this is why NAmerican daycare is poorer than what Tine is
used to. We have to be as sensitive to the differences in culture as
Tine has been, if we are to continue asking her to spell out those
differences. She was ASKED what NAmericans do that she finds unusual
and shocking.


There's a difference between saying things are different and calling people
lazy. I'm very, very, very offended at the implication that I'm just lazy
and that's why I stay at home with my child, instead of working my ass off
to pay someone else to do so.

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."


 




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