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#61
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Marie" wrote in message ... On Wed, 11 Feb 2004 14:56:09 +0100, "Tine Andersen" wrote: I just cook, housekeep and clean BESIDES having a full time job. If I only had to do that my house would be spotless, or I would spin, knit, sew and weave which I don't consider work but play. Trust me, no one's house is spotless just because they stay at home. During the hours you are working "full time", what do you think stay at home mothers are doing? Like the joke about the husband who comes home and looks around and asks "So what did you do all day?" Our days are full of taking care of our children, with children at home they make messes. We don't just leave our nice clean house in the mornings and come home to the same nice clean homes at night as working mothers do...our homes are constantly lived in. Our children are being interacted with, taught, doing arts/crafts, eating... The way I see it working out of the house is the easy thing to do as far as how much work is concerned. And I've been there so I know. As for knitting/sewing, LMAO No stay-at-home moms *I* know have the time for that. Marie lol I sewed some baby clothes for my daughter 9 years ago and didnt touch the machine again Had no time If I worked my home would be cleaner, but Im in it so much its constantly being used. |
#62
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse ... Here, a lot of us find that having 2 incomes doesnt help much. The 2nd income is eaten away by daycare, transportationa nd other costs. So its beneficial for one person to stay home. If one person provides money and one provides services, it may not be equal or identical but it is an equitable distribution of labor. Honestly, regarding laziness, my husband could never afford to pay someone for the services I render. If I were to work, my salary wouldnt cover child care housework laundry etc. Since we do have a small baby, i prefer to stay home and do these things rather than work and pay someone for it. With the number of kids we have, all the Drs appointments, school meetings, housework etc, there really needs to be someone home full time. Things are very different. Daycare is 250-300$ per month. I make 3000$ after taxes. I can take some hours off - with full pay - to go to the dentist, doctor, what have you with the kids. When they are ill I can take one day off - fully payed - and so can DH. When I'm on sick leave I'm payed my full salary. We have maternaty leave for nearly a year - so I was a SAHM for 6 mos (it has become longer since my kids were born). As everyone works, school metings are during the evenings - always. Distances are short - most people can bike to work. This country has more bikes that people. We are four people - we have (counting) six bikes. They come in all kinds: carrier cycles, with two chairs for kids, with trailers for groceries and kids. There is absolutely a difference between having one and two incomes here. Tine, Denmark |
#63
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upset at nanny -- vent
Marie wrote: On Wed, 11 Feb 2004 14:56:09 +0100, "Tine Andersen" wrote: I just cook, housekeep and clean BESIDES having a full time job. If I only had to do that my house would be spotless, or I would spin, knit, sew and weave which I don't consider work but play. Trust me, no one's house is spotless just because they stay at home. I know LOTS of people who have spotless houses, hot meals, and enjoyable children because they stay at home. As for knitting/sewing, LMAO No stay-at-home moms *I* know have the time for that. Again, these same moms I know sew, knit, do woodwork, maintain enormous gardens to feed the families etc. I suspect from what I have been told by people coming here or hearing what my plans are for the day that I am further to the camp of spotless house and such than not. I dont' see why you can't do all these things if you wanted, when you're a SAHM. Marie |
#64
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upset at nanny -- vent
Nina wrote: "Tine Andersen" wrote Being quite frank: I would probably look down at someone who chose to let her DH support her and stay at home. I would consider it lazy, I think. You're supposed to provide for yourself. I myself would hate to stay at home - I need the satisfaction my job gives me. I'm an acceptable mother, but I'm not born to be a MOTHER, if you KWIM. You dont consider the tasks of maintaining a home and family o be work? I find it ironic when people approve of working as a daycare worker outside the home for pay but consider it laziness when the same job is performed in ones home. Being a: daycare worker cook housekeeper are work when paid professsions, but laziness when same functions are provided at home. and imo, this is why NAmerican daycare is poorer than what Tine is used to. We have to be as sensitive to the differences in culture as Tine has been, if we are to continue asking her to spell out those differences. She was ASKED what NAmericans do that she finds unusual and shocking. Dawn |
#65
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upset at nanny -- vent
On Wed, 11 Feb 2004 15:24:38 GMT, Dawn Lawson
wrote: Marie wrote: I know LOTS of people who have spotless houses, hot meals, and enjoyable children because they stay at home. Hot meals, I have. Enjoyable children, *I* think so! I guess I do too much with the kids to spend too much time doing other things. (I homeschool and the kids are the main part of my life) Again, these same moms I know sew, knit, do woodwork, maintain enormous gardens to feed the families etc. I want a garden, I just need to figure out where to have one where the cows(not mine) won't eat it through the fences, but there will still be room for the kids to play. We just moved here a year ago from an apartment. I suspect from what I have been told by people coming here or hearing what my plans are for the day that I am further to the camp of spotless house and such than not. I dont' see why you can't do all these things if you wanted, when you're a SAHM. I guess if I wanted to do it I could, I just feel there are more important things to spend my time on. Hmm, I do play piano, do my online stuff and read as hobbies, and I go out every other weekend with a friend so I guess there are my "me" times. Except my hobbies are usually done with a baby on me! Marie |
#66
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upset at nanny -- vent
Things are very different. Daycare is 250-300$ per month. I make 3000$ af=
ter taxes. I can take some hours off - with full pay - to go to the dentist, doctor, what have you with the kids. When they are ill I can take one day off - fully payed - and so can DH. When I'm on sick leave I'm payed my fu= ll salary. We have maternaty leave for nearly a year - so I was a SAHM for 6 mos (it has become longer since my kids were born). As everyone works, school metings are during the evenings - always. Distances are short - mo= st people can bike to work. This country has more bikes that people. We are four people - we have (counting) six bikes. They come in all kinds: carri= er cycles, with two chairs for kids, with trailers for groceries and kids. that's quite a difference, you don't say what you do, like whether your income is near average. I think my full time wage would be close to average for the UK and after tax that would be a little over =A31000 per month, full time childcare would be around =A3600 per month, though at that income you might qualify for some extra tax credit. I had to take annual leave when ds was sick a few weeks ago. |
#67
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Cultural differences (was: upset at nanny -- vent)
Nina wrote:
"Tine Andersen" wrote in message k... "Nina" skrev i en meddelelse ... It's not 'negro' in Danish - it's 'neger'. But it's the same word. The english translation of "neger' would be "black" not "negro" as "negro" is basically a euphemism for black. So calling black people "neger" is the equivalent of calling them "black" here, not "negro". Neger probably sounds like ******, which is a Bad Word. You are right - I checked my vocabulary - it's 'black'. Was negro a bad word 35 years ago? No, negro was then standard usage. It changes. Er, 35 years ago, I was 4 years old. I'm reasonably sure that Negro was in disfavor by then. I believe "colored" was actually the favored term by that time. That said, Negro was *always* a word with negative implications because it was coined and used at a time when black people were considered so inferior in the US that it was okay to enslave them. For obvious reasons, most people in the US now want to dissociate themselves from that term and all its baggage. -- Be well, Barbara (Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [23 mos.] mom) This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop: Financing for "5" years -- car dealership sign Mommy: I call you "baby" because I love you. Julian (age 4): Oh! All right, Mommy baby. All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#68
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Anne Rogers" skrev i en meddelelse ... Things are very different. Daycare is 250-300$ per month. I make 3000$ after taxes. I can take some hours off - with full pay - to go to the dentist, doctor, what have you with the kids. When they are ill I can take one day off - fully payed - and so can DH. When I'm on sick leave I'm payed my full salary. We have maternaty leave for nearly a year - so I was a SAHM for 6 mos (it has become longer since my kids were born). As everyone works, school metings are during the evenings - always. Distances are short - most people can bike to work. This country has more bikes that people. We are four people - we have (counting) six bikes. They come in all kinds: carrier cycles, with two chairs for kids, with trailers for groceries and kids. that's quite a difference, you don't say what you do, like whether your income is near average. I think my full time wage would be close to average for the UK and after tax that would be a little over £1000 per month, full time childcare would be around £600 per month, though at that income you might qualify for some extra tax credit. I had to take annual leave when ds was sick a few weeks ago. My salary is good - I'm a skilled computer professional. A lousy salary would be 1200$ per month, but you would get reduction in the price of the day care. If I had to pay 60% of my salary in day care I might make other decisions. I also have 5 weeks of paid (even a little higher paid) vacation a year. I have extra 5 days for family caring (sick children, playing hooky like today) so it's not so hard to be a full time working mom. BTW, my full time is 35 hours with no paid lunch. Tine, Denmark |
#69
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Cultural differences (was: upset at nanny -- vent)
Circe wrote: Nina wrote: "Tine Andersen" wrote in message .dk... "Nina" skrev i en meddelelse ... It's not 'negro' in Danish - it's 'neger'. But it's the same word. The english translation of "neger' would be "black" not "negro" as "negro" is basically a euphemism for black. So calling black people "neger" is the equivalent of calling them "black" here, not "negro". Neger probably sounds like ******, which is a Bad Word. You are right - I checked my vocabulary - it's 'black'. Was negro a bad word 35 years ago? No, negro was then standard usage. It changes. Er, 35 years ago, I was 4 years old. I'm reasonably sure that Negro was in disfavor by then. I believe "colored" was actually the favored term by that time. I think you have it backward - at least, for where I grew up, in S.C. and Mississippi. "Colored" had been around for a long time - that's the term my parents (now in their 70s) had used all their lives. The NAACP is almost 100 years old, after all. I'm pretty sure "Negro" was more a '40s and '50s successor to "colored" - when I was growing up, the word "Negro" came with the implication the person saying it wasn't Southern. That said, Negro was *always* a word with negative implications because it was coined and used at a time when black people were considered so inferior in the US that it was okay to enslave them. For obvious reasons, most people in the US now want to dissociate themselves from that term and all its baggage. I'm not sure I'd say "Negro" was coined - it just means black. And I disagree that it always had negative connotations - at least not in the way I think you mean. When I was a child, my parents would consider a person calling himself/herself a "Negro" to be an outsider, almost a radical - like someone leading a voting rights drive, for example. To them, it was a negative term - I doubt that it was to the people who used it to refer to themselves. (I'm sure Malcolm X considered it a negative term, but that's another story.) Clisby |
#70
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upset at nanny -- vent
Dawn Lawson wrote:
and imo, this is why NAmerican daycare is poorer than what Tine is used to. We have to be as sensitive to the differences in culture as Tine has been, if we are to continue asking her to spell out those differences. She was ASKED what NAmericans do that she finds unusual and shocking. There's a difference between saying things are different and calling people lazy. I'm very, very, very offended at the implication that I'm just lazy and that's why I stay at home with my child, instead of working my ass off to pay someone else to do so. -- tristyn www.tristyn.net "i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. i do not think that they will sing to me." |
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