Stuck - Child abuse help

Hi,
I am the father of an 11 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Been
divorced for going on 7 years. Ex-wife is remarried.

Problem - My 11 year old is taking the brunt of a lot of anger and histile
actions. Not as much in the physical sense, but a lot of yelling, name
calling:

Pi$$-boy
Piece of Sh#t

Mainly, the stepfather is the culprit, but today my son called to tell me
his mom called from work to tell him she was going to beat the sh#t out of
him for something he did.

This has been going on in some form or another for some time now. We even
went to some counseling for my son, and the counselor told me that the step
father wasnt welcome back to her office (I have no idea what he said to her)
and that she couldnt work with us.

Now the sticky part. What does one do? I have talked to an attorney, to the
national child abuse helpline, etc. Nobody really has a difinitive answer. I
dont want to make it worse on him and I am NOT here to stir things up. I
didnt ask for this, and he sure as heck didnt.

Trying to be a father, so I ask, what should I do?

chaz

In one age, called the Second Age by some,
(an Age yet to come, an Age long past)
someone claiming to be 127.0.0.1 wrote
in message 1730869.3k9HutIQNC@FreeBSD:

Roger wrote:

Hi,
I am the father of an 11 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Been
divorced for going on 7 years. Ex-wife is remarried.

Problem - My 11 year old is taking the brunt of a lot of anger and
histile actions. Not as much in the physical sense, but a lot of
yelling, name calling:

Pi$$-boy
Piece of Sh#t

Mainly, the stepfather is the culprit, but today my son called to tell
me his mom called from work to tell him she was going to beat the sh#t
out of him for something he did.

This has been going on in some form or another for some time now. We
even went to some counseling for my son, and the counselor told me that
the step father wasnt welcome back to her office (I have no idea what he
said to her) and that she couldnt work with us.

Now the sticky part. What does one do? I have talked to an attorney, to
the national child abuse helpline, etc. Nobody really has a difinitive
answer. I dont want to make it worse on him and I am NOT here to stir
things up. I didnt ask for this, and he sure as heck didnt.

Trying to be a father, so I ask, what should I do?

You stand up like a man and BEAT THE LIVING HELL out of the stepfather.
You then let him know that if the abuse continues, he will get another ass
kicking.

Yeah, just like that guy that decked the teacher's aide for something
the daughter later admitted she was lying about.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeealy good idea, idiot child...

It should be obvious, the counselor wouldn't even deal with the stepfather.

For reasons which might have nothing at all to do with alleged abuse
-- or else why would zie not be willing or able to work with the rest
of the family?

You on the other hand would probably let the abuse continue unabated.

While you are willing to commit assault before all the facts are in,
just like you applauded that other father doing.

But then, you probably see nothing wrong with the daughter's lies,
given your fundamental dishonesty.

EARTHLINK wrote:

Hi,
I am the father of an 11 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Been
divorced for going on 7 years. Ex-wife is remarried.

Problem - My 11 year old is taking the brunt of a lot of anger and histile
actions. Not as much in the physical sense, but a lot of yelling, name
calling:

Pi$$-boy
Piece of Sh#t

Mainly, the stepfather is the culprit, but today my son called to tell me
his mom called from work to tell him she was going to beat the sh#t out of
him for something he did.

This has been going on in some form or another for some time now. We even
went to some counseling for my son, and the counselor told me that the step
father wasnt welcome back to her office (I have no idea what he said to her)
and that she couldnt work with us.

Now the sticky part. What does one do? I have talked to an attorney, to the
national child abuse helpline, etc. Nobody really has a difinitive answer. I
dont want to make it worse on him and I am NOT here to stir things up. I
didnt ask for this, and he sure as heck didnt.

Trying to be a father, so I ask, what should I do?

chaz
----------------
Simple. Tell your two kids to get their story straight in every
detail and then turn the ******* in for child molestation and
attempted rape. He'll go away, I guarantee it!!
Steve

I would strongly recommend getting your son into therapy, and making
yourself available if the therapist feels it would be helpful for you
to also attendd some of the sessions. Don't worry about getting his
mother and stepfather involved at this point - focus on your son. The
key here, as you obviously know, is to get your son some help. I would
start by getting him to meet with a good child psychologist, and work
with theat therapist to see where you can go from there. If your son
reveals any actual physical abuse to the therapist, he/she has a legal
responsibility to report it to the authorities (in the US, anyway - I
am not sure where you live).

I think you are very right to be concerned, and to want to do something
to protect your son. It is very easy to just haul out and deck someone
- much more difficult to find an appropriate solution that will
ultimately improve the situation for your son without landing his
father (who seems like the only one with his best interest in mind) in
jail. I think you are on the right track - hang in there!

God bless all of you.

127.0.0.1 wrote:
Roger wrote:


In one age, called the Second Age by some,
(an Age yet to come, an Age long past)
someone claiming to be 127.0.0.1 wrote
in message 3660970.7DWsdc3FNg@FreeBSD:


EARTHLINK wrote:


Hi,
I am the father of an 11 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Been
divorced for going on 7 years. Ex-wife is remarried.

Problem - My 11 year old is taking the brunt of a lot of anger and
histile actions. Not as much in the physical sense, but a lot of
yelling, name calling:

Pi$$-boy
Piece of Sh#t

Mainly, the stepfather is the culprit, but today my son called to tell
me his mom called from work to tell him she was going to beat the sh#t
out of him for something he did.

This has been going on in some form or another for some time now. We
even went to some counseling for my son, and the counselor told me that
the step father wasnt welcome back to her office (I have no idea what he
said to her) and that she couldnt work with us.

Now the sticky part. What does one do? I have talked to an attorney, to
the national child abuse helpline, etc. Nobody really has a difinitive
answer. I dont want to make it worse on him and I am NOT here to stir
things up. I didnt ask for this, and he sure as heck didnt.

Trying to be a father, so I ask, what should I do?

You stand up like a man and BEAT THE LIVING HELL out of the stepfather.
You then let him know that if the abuse continues, he will get another ass
kicking.

Yeah, just like that guy that decked the teacher's aide for something
the daughter later admitted she was lying about.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeealy good idea, idiot child...


It should be obvious, the counselor wouldn't even deal with the stepfather.
You on the otherhand would probably let the abuse continue unabated.

He should seek custody or legal help - beating him will do nothing but
insure a jail term for himself.