If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
"beyond the pale" wrote in message
... "Sarah Vaughan" wrote Still, I'm going to post what I've written anyway - no point in it going to waste, and even though I know you don't need this particular example now, I figure someone on here might find the technique to be something they can use for some problem they have with their child in the future! Oh, I'm SO saving the post- thanks!! I might need it with DD yet, or it might help with #2, plus people are always asking me for tips on their own kids (I do this too, when I am around other moms). As an update, DD has gone to bed 4 times and done really well in her own bed from 8pm to 7am, the first night was later...we had a minor setback last night when she went down at 8p, went right to sleep with no fuss after her bath and bedtime story....then I woke up at 3:15am to heat her wailing "I can't take iiiiiiiiiiit, need my mommaaaaaa". I went into her room, she was still in her bed, sitting up, with tears pouring down her face and her hair was matted from sweat. She said "Please, I can't sleep in here all by myself, I had bad dreams and my throat hurts, don't want to be alone!" It was so pitiful and she obviously was not faking it- she had been asleep fine with no protest and I had even gone in and covered her up, she stirred and smiled at me, and went back to sleep. So, I got my pillow and crawled into her bed with her from 3:30a to 7. She did seem like she had a fever coming on and her nose is runny today but she went right back to sleep with me and so did I. Luckily, she was one of those kids that didn't want her crib's toddler daybed function OR a regular toddler bed, so we bought a bunk bed for her "big girl" bed (we have removed the ladder until she's older and safe to climb so she can't access the top- we arrange stuffed animals and display them up there)..and the bottom bunk is a full size bed. I still got a good night's sleep and we have talked about tonight and she says she will sleep in her bed alone again. We'll see. But she has been so much easier than I thought, she doesn't try to leave her room. I would have told you- I think I DID tell you- she'd be the type to come out 88 times. She hasn't. It is pretty typical for there to be backsliding when they get sick. I tend to have lots of options to offer, such as their lovie, their water (here honey, have a sip of water, that will help your throat), turn on their aquarium (crib toy), etc. My kids also are really great medicine takers (which I never would have believed around the 18m-2y age range), and will drink down their meds and go right back to sleep. I think they still think that the moment you drink medicine, you feel better. When I do let Taylor come into bed with us in the middle of the night, it's usually because she is clearly sick or getting sick, and I always remind her the next morning that this was a special occasion and not something that we do every night. She seems to understand the concept and is fine with it. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03 Addison Grace -- 09/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
"Jamie Clark" wrote in message ... "beyond the pale" wrote in message ... "Sarah Vaughan" wrote Still, I'm going to post what I've written anyway - no point in it going to waste, and even though I know you don't need this particular example now, I figure someone on here might find the technique to be something they can use for some problem they have with their child in the future! Oh, I'm SO saving the post- thanks!! I might need it with DD yet, or it might help with #2, plus people are always asking me for tips on their own kids (I do this too, when I am around other moms). As an update, DD has gone to bed 4 times and done really well in her own bed from 8pm to 7am, the first night was later...we had a minor setback last night when she went down at 8p, went right to sleep with no fuss after her bath and bedtime story....then I woke up at 3:15am to heat her wailing "I can't take iiiiiiiiiiit, need my mommaaaaaa". I went into her room, she was still in her bed, sitting up, with tears pouring down her face and her hair was matted from sweat. She said "Please, I can't sleep in here all by myself, I had bad dreams and my throat hurts, don't want to be alone!" It was so pitiful and she obviously was not faking it- she had been asleep fine with no protest and I had even gone in and covered her up, she stirred and smiled at me, and went back to sleep. So, I got my pillow and crawled into her bed with her from 3:30a to 7. She did seem like she had a fever coming on and her nose is runny today but she went right back to sleep with me and so did I. Luckily, she was one of those kids that didn't want her crib's toddler daybed function OR a regular toddler bed, so we bought a bunk bed for her "big girl" bed (we have removed the ladder until she's older and safe to climb so she can't access the top- we arrange stuffed animals and display them up there)..and the bottom bunk is a full size bed. I still got a good night's sleep and we have talked about tonight and she says she will sleep in her bed alone again. We'll see. But she has been so much easier than I thought, she doesn't try to leave her room. I would have told you- I think I DID tell you- she'd be the type to come out 88 times. She hasn't. It is pretty typical for there to be backsliding when they get sick. I tend to have lots of options to offer, such as their lovie, their water (here honey, have a sip of water, that will help your throat), turn on their aquarium (crib toy), etc. My kids also are really great medicine takers (which I never would have believed around the 18m-2y age range), and will drink down their meds and go right back to sleep. I think they still think that the moment you drink medicine, you feel better. When I do let Taylor come into bed with us in the middle of the night, it's usually because she is clearly sick or getting sick, and I always remind her the next morning that this was a special occasion and not something that we do every night. She seems to understand the concept and is fine with it. -- #1 always understood that if she was ill or we were away that it was special. She never asked afterwards to repeat something I let her do as a treat (like sleeping in our bed). She also was a great medicine taker, I could give it her in her sleep-in fact I still can without her waking up. #2 always took one time of treat as something to try and get every time. She's the eternal optimist-if she's had an icecream she'll ask for a second-never gets it, but always seems to think it's worth a try. But if she is ill and I let her, say, sleep in our bed then the next night she'll go and lie down in our bed and be indignant because she's moved out. She won't take medicine during the night without heavy bribery and a lot of persuasion (or during the day for that matter) and you have to wake her up properly as she won't open her mouth or swallow while she's asleep. Debbie |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
Just another update- after I slept with DD from 3:30a-wakeup time, she still
has a sort of runny nose- it seems to be allergies. Last night we had to make a run to the store to get a baby gift and ended up not getting back until a bit past her desired bedtime, plus we still had to give her a bath. So she went down late and did ask me if I was going to sleep with her, which I explained. I told her I'd stay with her until she went to sleep because obviously she had a long day and was almost asleep anyway. I read her bedtime story (Moo Baa La La La) and she asked me to stay again, her eyelids were so heavy. I tucked her in and told her I was going to go get a drink for myself and would be back to sit with her until she fell asleep and then I was going to my own bed. By the time I fixed my drink and returned in 5 minutes, she was asleep! I went to (my) bed and she slept all night and into the morning- normally she's been coming into my room just as DH leaves for work because she wakes up and hears him. Today she stayed in her own bed and I had about an hour of free time. Woo hoo! This has been so easy. I don't want to keep feeling proud about how easy it's been because it could change at any time, but --so far so good! I do feel, and this could be wrong, or just a coincidence, that it seems to be easier *because* I waited until she was 3 and can reason some? At 2 she would not have understood as well. It's almost like you should put them in their own bed very early, by the first few months, or it s easier to do it later. My pediatrician told me it's harder the longer you wait, though, so who knows. Now if only I could get her to poop on the potty, as she is fully potty trained except for that, she simply won't poop and THAT really HAS been a challenge that hasn't just resolved. I work with her every day but nothing works. We have thrown countless pairs of undies out because she just goes in them. |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
"beyond the pale" wrote in message
... Just another update- after I slept with DD from 3:30a-wakeup time, she still has a sort of runny nose- it seems to be allergies. Last night we had to make a run to the store to get a baby gift and ended up not getting back until a bit past her desired bedtime, plus we still had to give her a bath. So she went down late and did ask me if I was going to sleep with her, which I explained. I told her I'd stay with her until she went to sleep because obviously she had a long day and was almost asleep anyway. I read her bedtime story (Moo Baa La La La) and she asked me to stay again, her eyelids were so heavy. I tucked her in and told her I was going to go get a drink for myself and would be back to sit with her until she fell asleep and then I was going to my own bed. By the time I fixed my drink and returned in 5 minutes, she was asleep! I went to (my) bed and she slept all night and into the morning- normally she's been coming into my room just as DH leaves for work because she wakes up and hears him. Today she stayed in her own bed and I had about an hour of free time. Woo hoo! That is one of my favorite tricks. They feel comfortable and safe because they know you are coming back, and then of course you drag out your return and they are asleep when you do get back! The other trick that I love is for naps -- when my daughters are reluctant to take a nap, I tell them that they only have to take a short nap. This seems to be a compromise to them, so they agree and go to sleep. Of course, once they are asleep, they sleep for 2+ hours. When they wake up, I say, "Oh, are you awake already? Boy, that was a short nap!" LOL! This has been so easy. I don't want to keep feeling proud about how easy it's been because it could change at any time, but --so far so good! I do feel, and this could be wrong, or just a coincidence, that it seems to be easier *because* I waited until she was 3 and can reason some? At 2 she would not have understood as well. It's almost like you should put them in their own bed very early, by the first few months, or it s easier to do it later. My pediatrician told me it's harder the longer you wait, though, so who knows. Now if only I could get her to poop on the potty, as she is fully potty trained except for that, she simply won't poop and THAT really HAS been a challenge that hasn't just resolved. I work with her every day but nothing works. We have thrown countless pairs of undies out because she just goes in them. You throw away underwear that she has pooped in? Even at home? Why not just rinse it out and wash it? It's no different than cloth diapers -- they get pooped in and washed and reused all the time. As for poop training, you have to find her currency. It took me a few weeks to figure out what worked for Addie. At one point I was asking her to make poop on the potty and listing possible rewards. "I'll give you a cookie if you make poopoo on the potty. I'll give you ice cream. I'll buy you a leapster." She looked at me, put her hand out in front of her like a traffic cop ordering a car to stop and said, "No cookie, no ice cream, no leapster." What finally worked was to pay attention to when she was pooping. She would go off to the same few places to hide and push. I'd grab her the moment I saw her starting to push, whip her over to the potty, and put her on. She'd resist and complain and cry, but poo on the potty. Then we'd have a HUGE celebration! At that point, I also got her to agree to ice cream when she made poop. 5 bites every time she goes poop, regardless of when. I had to listen and find her and physically put her on the potty the first 4-5 times, but after that, she started getting it a bit more. I think the concept of ice cream finally sank in. The next week she has a few accidents where she would go off to hide instead of sit on the potty, and I tried to be as easy going about it as possible. She'd ask for ice cream anyway, and I just explained that she only got ice cream for putting the poopoo in the potty. This was maybe a month ago. She is now fully trained. She has a few accidents per week, but only pee. She gets 2 jelly beans for going pee on the potty -- one for staying dry, and one for peeing. Since we've been doing this for a month, I'm going to start phasing out the jelly beans soon. I forget to give them to her when we're out, and only remember if she reminds me. Eventually in the next few weeks, I may tell her that she only gets one, or that we don't get prizes for peeing on the potty any mroe. I've told her that if she can stay dry for 7 days, that I'll give her a leapster. I found an older model one a few weeks ago at a garage sale, which came with a charger and 3 games, for $5, so it's not a bad investment/reward for me. Taylor got one for Christmas and Addie loves to play on it, so the idea of having her own is a huge incentive! -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03 Addison Grace -- 09/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
beyond the pale wrote:
[...] This has been so easy. I don't want to keep feeling proud about how easy it's been because it could change at any time, but --so far so good! I do feel, and this could be wrong, or just a coincidence, that it seems to be easier *because* I waited until she was 3 and can reason some? At 2 she would not have understood as well. It's almost like you should put them in their own bed very early, by the first few months, or it s easier to do it later. My pediatrician told me it's harder the longer you wait, though, so who knows. I think that any assumptions that these sorts of things are going to follow a linear path with time, whether it's "Do it this way from the start or it'll be harder later" or "The later you leave it, the easier it gets", are just too simplistic. It depends on the individual child's personality, and there are likely to be stages for any given child when it's easier than at other stages, but these won't necessarily be in a nice neat order according to age. If you feel that changing at this age rather than earlier was the easiest way to do things with your child, then I'm betting you're right. You know your child and how she reacts. That doesn't mean that things would necessarily be the same with another child. One of the best pieces of child-rearing advice my mother ever gave me was "Don't solve the problem until it happens." I understand what she meant, now. Generally speaking, there is probably not a lot of point trying to change something that isn't a problem just because you're worried it *might* become one at some undefined point in the future. Really glad it worked out well for you guys, and glad you liked my post. ;-) All the best, Sarah -- http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com "That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell |
#16
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message
One of the best pieces of child-rearing advice my mother ever gave me was "Don't solve the problem until it happens." I understand what she meant, now. Generally speaking, there is probably not a lot of point trying to change something that isn't a problem just because you're worried it *might* become one at some undefined point in the future. I'm not sure I totally agree with that. While it's best not to worry yourself into not doing things because it will cause problems later on, there are some things that it's easier to not start at all, such as IMO having the baby used to some sleep technique that will be hard to change later on. -- Sue |
#17
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
"Sue" wrote in message
news:goWdncFiqNTTlOXbnZ2dnUVZ_t2tnZ2d@wideopenwest .com... "Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message One of the best pieces of child-rearing advice my mother ever gave me was "Don't solve the problem until it happens." I understand what she meant, now. Generally speaking, there is probably not a lot of point trying to change something that isn't a problem just because you're worried it *might* become one at some undefined point in the future. I'm not sure I totally agree with that. While it's best not to worry yourself into not doing things because it will cause problems later on, there are some things that it's easier to not start at all, such as IMO having the baby used to some sleep technique that will be hard to change later on. -- Sue I call that "big picture" parenting. But I still think that big picture parenting and Sarah's advice work well together. You try to do what feels like it's going to work, both right now, and in the future, and if it seems to be working, then leave it be. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03 Addison Grace -- 09/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password |
#18
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
Sue wrote:
"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message One of the best pieces of child-rearing advice my mother ever gave me was "Don't solve the problem until it happens." I understand what she meant, now. Generally speaking, there is probably not a lot of point trying to change something that isn't a problem just because you're worried it *might* become one at some undefined point in the future. I'm not sure I totally agree with that. While it's best not to worry yourself into not doing things because it will cause problems later on, there are some things that it's easier to not start at all, such as IMO having the baby used to some sleep technique that will be hard to change later on. But the thing is that that isn't necessarily true - it *isn't* always easier to do things a particular way from the start. I spent two months trying to 'get my baby into good sleep habits from the start' the way all the books told me I should because it would be easier, and I finally started wondering what on earth was supposed to be 'easier' about something that was proving so difficult. Sure, some babies are easy to get to sleep in their cots from the start, and if you're lucky enough to have one of those it makes sense to keep doing things the way that will also be easier later on. But that doesn't mean that it's universally a good idea to insist on doing things a particular way, because doing things that way from the start may, for some parents, not be the easiest way to do things at all. All the best, Sarah -- http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com "That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell |
#19
|
|||
|
|||
Moving DD to her bed..
"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message
But the thing is that that isn't necessarily true - it *isn't* always easier to do things a particular way from the start. No Sarah I agree. But sometimes it is depending on what it is. I spent two months trying to 'get my baby into good sleep habits from the start' the way all the books told me I should because it would be easier, and I finally started wondering what on earth was supposed to be 'easier' about something that was proving so difficult. I never read any books on how to get the baby to sleep. I just went with it early on and did things pretty much the same way and eventually there was a pattern. Sure, some babies are easy to get to sleep in their cots from the start, and if you're lucky enough to have one of those it makes sense to keep doing things the way that will also be easier later on. I have three, but that's okay. I don't think I totally lucked out on sleeping kids, especially when all three did fine (trust me there were occasions that sleep was the last thing they wanted to do). I did co-sleep with my last child for the first month or so because that's what we needed to, but I transitioned to the bassinet when she was more comfortable. The thing is with sleep and babies, is I think lots of parents do set themselves up for some bad habits that are hard to change, but if the parent is happy with it, then so be it. But that doesn't mean that it's universally a good idea to insist on doing things a particular way, because doing things that way from the start may, for some parents, not be the easiest way to do things at all. Yep. Following the child's lead and following instincts is pretty much how I parent. -- Sue |
|
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Moving on, moving up | wexwimpy | Foster Parents | 0 | May 30th 06 02:00 PM |
Moving around in cot | [email protected] | General | 13 | September 28th 05 11:54 AM |
Moving... Fun? Or not? | xkatx | Single Parents | 0 | March 30th 05 08:26 AM |
We are moving! | Tori M. | Pregnancy | 8 | December 6th 04 08:46 PM |
Moving, moving, moving | Herself | Breastfeeding | 2 | September 17th 03 02:17 AM |