"too posh to push"

My cynical bet is that given the length of an average first-time labor,
there
is a high likelihood that any woman who really wants a C-section can talk
her
doctor into it by the time things get too hairy. The only time she
wouldn't be
covered is a really precipitous birth, I'll betcha.

dunno, personally I was crying out for death as a pain relief option, I'm so
afraid of a c-section that I would never have cried out for that, we don't
routinely see doctors in labour here, so it would have to be the midwife
agreeing to call the doctor in, I was induced and even then only saw the
doctor twice during the whole day (I delivered about 13 hours after arriving
at hospital) and both of those were before I was in active labour.

Jamie Clark wrote:

Hugs Emily. You're a better woman than I. I would have said something.

I didn't refrain out of altruism. I just didn't want
to go there. But thanks.

Emily

"sleepy67" wrote in message
news:KiCdd.164499$a41.40696@pd7tw2no...
I'm sorry to hear that it has been a struggle for you, but don't assume
that
is the case here. It is far from the truth. My sister in law was on the
pill until deciding recently to try to conceive. Her fears are of the
labour pain, as we all at some point go through. She has taken that fear
way out of proportion though and is not willing to hear anything anyone
has
to say against a planned section. This is not a fertility issue at all.

I don't think it is fair of you to say that she has taken the fear way out
of proportion. For her, perhaps the fear is absolutely overwhelming and all
consuming. It may be very very real for her...I was like that. I was SO
petrified of labor that I absolutely had full blown panic attacks at each
and every Lamaze class that I went to. I was hysterical and panicky (to the
point of considering being medicated for panic attacks) ALL the time while I
was pregnant. I had absolutely no joy in my first pregnancy because of the
overwhelming dread I faced. Its a terrible terrible feeling to have and to
be paralyzed with fear and panic attacks over this. She might need a
therapist of some medication to help with anxiety (did she ever display any
anxiety disorder symptoms before??). The last thing she needs if she really
is as terrified as I was is for you tell her that she is blowing the fear
way out of proportion.

Saying that she is "too posh to push" is a different thing. If you came in
and said that she wants a c-section so that she can plan around her social
life, then yeah, maybe too posh to push, but if she is deathly afraid thats
a totally different thing.

What upsets me about it (and I am only being happy for her pregnancy at this
point, not venting to her) is that she has convinced herself that a planned
c-section is healthier for the baby, without research or knowledge of any
kind to back that up and is unwilling to listen to anyone otherwise. Too
posh to push is where her vanity in it all comes in and I'm not even going
there, "I" choose not to hear her on that end of it. Aside from that, her
mother has told her, her whole life that she is an only child because of how
horrid labour is. I wish she would at least watch some videos, talk to
someone, read, anything other than listen solely to her mother. I do
understand it is a real fear. It's frustrating and sad that she is facing
it alone, with her own convictions.
"Tracey" wrote in message
om...

"sleepy67" wrote in message
news:KiCdd.164499$a41.40696@pd7tw2no...
I'm sorry to hear that it has been a struggle for you, but don't assume
that
is the case here. It is far from the truth. My sister in law was on
the
pill until deciding recently to try to conceive. Her fears are of the
labour pain, as we all at some point go through. She has taken that
fear
way out of proportion though and is not willing to hear anything anyone
has
to say against a planned section. This is not a fertility issue at all.

I don't think it is fair of you to say that she has taken the fear way out
of proportion. For her, perhaps the fear is absolutely overwhelming and
all
consuming. It may be very very real for her...I was like that. I was SO
petrified of labor that I absolutely had full blown panic attacks at each
and every Lamaze class that I went to. I was hysterical and panicky (to
the
point of considering being medicated for panic attacks) ALL the time while
I
was pregnant. I had absolutely no joy in my first pregnancy because of
the
overwhelming dread I faced. Its a terrible terrible feeling to have and
to
be paralyzed with fear and panic attacks over this. She might need a
therapist of some medication to help with anxiety (did she ever display
any
anxiety disorder symptoms before??). The last thing she needs if she
really
is as terrified as I was is for you tell her that she is blowing the fear
way out of proportion.

Saying that she is "too posh to push" is a different thing. If you came
in
and said that she wants a c-section so that she can plan around her social
life, then yeah, maybe too posh to push, but if she is deathly afraid
thats
a totally different thing.

I don't think anyone "should" say anything to her if she wants a planned
c-section. Especially people who are not doctors, and who are wielding
unsolicited advice. It's her body and her decision. Criticizing a woman
for the decision she makes on how to give birth is wrong.

Wendy

Does she realize what pain relief options are available? If she's been
raised on labor horror stories, maybe knowing that pain relief is available
if she decides she wants it would help?

Also, if she's really scared, maybe some sessions with a therapist who does
cognitive-behavioral therapy (which works well with anxiety in only a few
sessions) would help?

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
and "Cuddles", EDD 12/24/04
"

Its an interesting question about elective sections at maternal request or
for social reasons, they are not supposed to happen here either but of
course they do, if her fear of giving birth is genuine it is likely that she
would get her section here (in the UK) because the consultant would consider
that it is in her best interest, and that it would be detrimental to her to
go through labour.

Helen the Midwife
Madeline 17/10/04
One little angel 18/10/04

"sleepy67" wrote in message
news:Fnudd.778659$M95.510174@pd7tw1no...
I found out about a week ago that my brother and sister in law are
expecting
their first child. We all wondered if she would ever actually get
pregnant,
because of her fear of childbirth (something her darling mother instilled
in
her). Well, they finally did it, woohoo! but, she is insisting that she
will have a planned c-section, that it would be better for the baby etc.
etc. Her friend just had a baby that ended in an emergency c-section
after
receiving an epideral that sent the baby's heart racing, so that
consideration is out for her as well.
I'm just wondering...do doctors plan c-sections if requested, in Canada?
She just had her first prenatal appointment and the doctor she saw said it
would have to be taken to the board.
Only planning to tell her all the wonders and elations of childbirth in a
few weeks!
Carole EDD Nov. 10

any good OB will discuss all the options and pros and cons with her, she
will not be alone and it is not a decision she can make on her own. Watching
videos will possibly scare her even more


Helen the Midwife
Madeline 17/10/04
One little angel 18/10/04

"sleepy67" wrote in message
news:4FFdd.165578$a41.49764@pd7tw2no...
What upsets me about it (and I am only being happy for her pregnancy at
this
point, not venting to her) is that she has convinced herself that a
planned
c-section is healthier for the baby, without research or knowledge of any
kind to back that up and is unwilling to listen to anyone otherwise. Too
posh to push is where her vanity in it all comes in and I'm not even going
there, "I" choose not to hear her on that end of it. Aside from that, her
mother has told her, her whole life that she is an only child because of
how
horrid labour is. I wish she would at least watch some videos, talk to
someone, read, anything other than listen solely to her mother. I do
understand it is a real fear. It's frustrating and sad that she is facing
it alone, with her own convictions.
"Tracey" wrote in message
om...

"sleepy67" wrote in message
news:KiCdd.164499$a41.40696@pd7tw2no...
I'm sorry to hear that it has been a struggle for you, but don't assume
that
is the case here. It is far from the truth. My sister in law was on
the
pill until deciding recently to try to conceive. Her fears are of the
labour pain, as we all at some point go through. She has taken that
fear
way out of proportion though and is not willing to hear anything anyone
has
to say against a planned section. This is not a fertility issue at
all.

I don't think it is fair of you to say that she has taken the fear way
out
of proportion. For her, perhaps the fear is absolutely overwhelming and
all
consuming. It may be very very real for her...I was like that. I was SO
petrified of labor that I absolutely had full blown panic attacks at each
and every Lamaze class that I went to. I was hysterical and panicky (to
the
point of considering being medicated for panic attacks) ALL the time
while
I
was pregnant. I had absolutely no joy in my first pregnancy because of
the
overwhelming dread I faced. Its a terrible terrible feeling to have and
to
be paralyzed with fear and panic attacks over this. She might need a
therapist of some medication to help with anxiety (did she ever display
any
anxiety disorder symptoms before??). The last thing she needs if she
really
is as terrified as I was is for you tell her that she is blowing the fear
way out of proportion.

Saying that she is "too posh to push" is a different thing. If you came
in
and said that she wants a c-section so that she can plan around her
social
life, then yeah, maybe too posh to push, but if she is deathly afraid
thats
a totally different thing.

Why do you say that female obs choose c-sections? I've never heard that one
before...

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
news:1098306839.F+RgxuIp8xvsQbPobZXM5w@teranews...
it will very much depend on her care providers, given that many female obs
choose c-sections she may well find someone favourable, it is to be hoped
that instead she is cared for by someone who will help her overcome her
fears.

maternal request c-sections are not supposed to exist here, but they do,
but I think partly when a women is in labour and very distressed and
yelling for a section they feel sorry for them and if things aren't busy
they might slot them in

"sleepy67" wrote in message
news:4FFdd.165578$a41.49764@pd7tw2no...
Aside from that, her
mother has told her, her whole life that she is an only child because of
how
horrid labour is. I wish she would at least watch some videos, talk to
someone, read, anything other than listen solely to her mother. I do
understand it is a real fear. It's frustrating and sad that she is facing
it alone, with her own convictions.


I cannot criticise her on "listening to her mother". My own mother did not
have any good stories about childbirth, even though hers went really fine.
She kept insisting on her mother's horror stories, which were never
confirmed. My mother ranted about the horror of having children, period,
from conception to their (or her) death. It took me years to overcome those
"flicks" and realise I did want a baby.

As much as I disagree with the idea of planned C-sections, I can understand
how her fear may have grown. I think she would benefit from the help of a
therapist or something. Someone in whom she can confide without feeling
judged, so that she can sort everything out. Obviously, if she refuses to
listen to anyone's advice, there's something fishy there. And well, if she
decides to go ahead no matter what, well, too bad. I wish her luck anyhow.

JMO.