We'll be going for #3 in 2005 :-)

Sophie wrote:

Wait till you announce #4 - you'd think you said #400. eyeroll We
*messed things up* too - we had a girl and a boy then had another baby
(boy). Wonder what we'll get next?

A redhead. ;-)

--Helen

ospam (AGreen1209) wrote in message ...
You've got plenty of time to do some research...I'd recommend starting with
the Dept of Labor website on FMLA.
Good luck!
Amy

Thanks for the info - my employer pays a substantial part of my healthcare at
this point, but there's a chance we'll be on DH's insurance by then, so that
wouldn't matter - or I will just work for a week to avoid that, as you said.
:-)

You may also want to take into consideration how inconvenienced your
employer may be if they are expecting you to come back, and they
suddenly have to hire someone to replace you. This will depend a lot
on the job and the workplace, of course. And how much you care about
your employer, and your own reputation with your employer, since
leaving people in the lurch tends to reflect badly on the employee.
This is a very sensitive area, since you also want to leave yourself
the option of coming back, it sounds like, and an unscrupulous
employer could possibly find a way to lay you off if they suspect you
won't come back. (You are protected from being fired because of a
pregnancy, but you can be laid off as part of a larger group - this
has happened to a couple of women I know. Not related to whether or
not they were planning to come back, btw - both companies did have
major layoffs and they just happened to get caught in them, AFAIK.)

(I'm not real sure about FMLA stuff - our company is too small to be
covered.)

Good luck!

Irene

"H Schinske" wrote in message
...
Sophie wrote:

Wait till you announce #4 - you'd think you said #400. eyeroll We
*messed things up* too - we had a girl and a boy then had another baby
(boy). Wonder what we'll get next?

A redhead. ;-)

--Helen

Lol - that'd be neat

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
Well, ever since Leah was born I find myself thinking that when I say
their
names (Elijah and Leah) that it seems like something is missing. When
we
go
someplace or play together or do anything it seems like we're missing
someone.
And now obviously my DH thinks so, too.


Amanda



I absolutely know that feeling! As busy as I am with 3, and I can see why
people stop there, I didn't feel done. When I picture our family, I
picture
4 children. Always have.

sigh
I have one daughter, age 10. We're going to TTC starting in April. My
husband is adamant that we will only have one more. I don't disagree with
his reasoning, but feel pretty darn confident that there will be another
child after that. No, I'm not going to sabotage, etc. I just have this
feeling, you know? I don't know whether the third will be through birth or
adoption or what, but I *know* that there will be a third child. I'm only a
little bit psychic, sometimes, so who knows. But I just have this *feeling*.

Heh. It just occured to me that that last time I had this feeling
significantly it was about marrying my husband (we were engaged in 2002 and
married this past spring)--he was still at the "I don't know if I want to
commit" stage, and I just had this feeling like we were meant to be married,
and talked him around. He's happy as a clam about it now, tells me so often.
I'll say, "I'm glad we're married." He'll say, "I'm glad I thought of it.
What a great idea I had." I just roll my eyes and agree with him. g

So I don't stress too much about the kid thing.
Jenrose

"Irene" wrote in message
om...
ospam (AGreen1209) wrote in message
...
You've got plenty of time to do some research...I'd recommend starting
with
the Dept of Labor website on FMLA.
Good luck!
Amy

Thanks for the info - my employer pays a substantial part of my
healthcare at
this point, but there's a chance we'll be on DH's insurance by then, so
that
wouldn't matter - or I will just work for a week to avoid that, as you
said.
:-)

You may also want to take into consideration how inconvenienced your
employer may be if they are expecting you to come back, and they
suddenly have to hire someone to replace you.

My employer knows I'll be TTC next year--she asked me how much time I'd want
off for the baby. I told her, "Well, I doubt I'll be working through my
pregnancy and I know I won't be coming back after, except on a very part
time basis."

We sat down and worked out a plan--we'll start training someone in March to
take over my job in June (yes, it's that complicated!). I'll quit in June.
She said, "What if you aren't pregnant by then?" I said, "Well, I'll need to
reduce my stress level, then, won't I?"

Now my situation is complicated by several factors:

1. I have asthma and a clotting disorder. Sitting for long hours is out.
Stress is out. I need to take care of myself and it will be a full-time job!

2. I work for a midwifery magazine. I realized that the closer I get to
pregnancy, the more personally I take the stuff I'm reading. I don't plan on
reading *anything* birth related once I'm pg. Not even newsgroups, if I can
restrain myself...wry grin Why? Because I need to keep my head clear of
"everyone else's stuff." While I'm pregnant, I don't want to argue with
people about my care choices, I don't want to hear traumatic birth stories,
and I really, really, really don't want to be reminded of all the things
that can go wrong. I've been working in maternal health education for going
on 10 years now, and I just *don't* need any more info. It's going to take
my whole darn pregnancy to get my head into the right space, and I just
don't feel like swimming upstream to get it there. KWIM? And working where I
work, there are hard stories coming across my desk every day. I'm not even
seeing a doc or midwife if I can help it, because there's nothing they can
tell me that I want or really need to hear. No, I won't do heparin. No, my
asthma isn't that bad. No, you can't use the doppler. No, I won't have the
blood test. And no, absolutely not, I will NOT have them at my birth. *If* I
get sick, yeah, I'll seek help. But by my way of thinking, the best way to
keep from getting sick in the first place is to minimize my stress and
minimize my exposure to both negative thinking and medical environments. I
am an excellent judge of my health and my body. I have already started with
great nutrition, great supplements, and will be exercising daily. Unless my
asthma takes a nosedive or I break a leg, I am unlikely to need help. But
arguing with people endlessly about these things is more likely to cause
harm than good, so I won't. Reading endlessly about midwifery care is not
going to help. Reading other people's birth stories will get me too focused
on the "What if?" side of things.

3. My job is incredibly complex. I do graphic design, writing, new product
management, forum management, photography. My replacement won't do all of
those things, but they will have to learn our rather arcane file structures,
a very new layout program, and they'll have to get familiar with our 2000+
photo stock library, as well as our publication schedules, needs, design,
etc. I just don't feel like I'm going to be able to train someone whilst pg.
I couldn't add two plus two when I was pg with my daughter--I loved calculus
in high school, but all the blood in my uterus must have come from the math
centers in my brain.... Anyway, I'm neither patient nor particularly bright
when I'm pregnant, and since one of my other responsibilities has always
been training everyone new to the company, I'd rather do it when I've still
got my wits about me. Oh, other job responsibilities I've had include minor
tech support and equipment maintenance, phone sales expert, etc...

I've been here 7 years and it just goes on and on and I suspect it will take
*years* for me to thoroughly leave the company, but the least I can do is
pull back to 5 hours a week or less while pregnant. I just can't imagine
them relying on me while I'm pregnant *or* trying to bring someone up to
speed while I'm spending every other minute in the bathroom saluting the
porcelain goddess. Yeah, it may be different. I may feel great, brilliant,
etc... in which case I want to be able to really *enjoy* my pregnancy. And
especially enjoy my birth. And REALLY enjoy my baby.

The reason my kids will be 11-12 years apart is because I waited until I
found the right man and the right living situation where I *could* do this
my way. I spent my entire pregnancy with my daughter in constant fear. I
won't do that this time.

Jenrose

You may also want to take into consideration how inconvenienced your
employer may be if they are expecting you to come back, and they
suddenly have to hire someone to replace you.

Well, with the other two kids, they asked me while I was pg if I was coming
back - I wouldn't be anything but honest with them. Also, it's unskilled blue
collar warehouse work, so replacing me wouldn't be all that difficult :-)


Amanda

ospam (AGreen1209) wrote in message ...
You may also want to take into consideration how inconvenienced your
employer may be if they are expecting you to come back, and they
suddenly have to hire someone to replace you.

Well, with the other two kids, they asked me while I was pg if I was coming
back - I wouldn't be anything but honest with them. Also, it's unskilled blue
collar warehouse work, so replacing me wouldn't be all that difficult :-)


Amanda

That's good - it was unclear from your OP what your intentions were.
Having been both an employee and an employer, I try to look at things
from both points of view.

Irene