Leveling the playing field

I'm sure this group has its share of people dealing with ex's like
mine. I'm also sure that many of you, like me, have had to put up with
enourmous amounts of BS just to try to maintain some kind of contact
with your children. In my case, my ex has made me out to be an
uncaring parent that would rather be at work than spending time with
my daughter. The ex usually manages things so that any time I spend
with our child is short and stressful. At one time, she thought I was
going to take her to court so she had my daughter convinced that I was
going to "take her away". My little girl was scared to death of me. I
told the ex that the only way I'd take her to court is if she stopped
me from seeing her. She said I could come over the next day. Now it
was in her best interests for my daughter to have a nice visit with
me. I have to say, it was one of the most satisfying feelings in the
world to watch her trying to juggle all that was going on...my
daughter was still convinced that I was a monster that was going to
drag her off and now her mother was trying to convince her that it
wasn't true...all the while trying to pretend like she hadn't done
anything to scare our daughter like that. All I could think was nobody
ever deserved to squirm more than she did that day. In effect, she had
to tell our daughter that she had been lied to by her mother.

That got me wondering if there are any other tools that NCP's have
found for countering the damaging effects from a CP that is trying to
come between you and your child. It's a tricky thing to do because
your child is there. I don't want to use the courts since they are the
cause of all this to begin with. It would be very easy to turn my ex
into CPS for some of the things she has done but I don't want to put
my daughter through the nightmares of that system. I guess what I'm
asking is if any NCP's have come across things you can do to
force/embarass/manipulate the other parent into behaving in an
acceptable manner? I don't care what tactic I resort to since they
have all been used against me. How much my ex likes what is going on
in her life is only of concern to me in how it affects my daughter.
Any good ideas out there?