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Need a couple of ideas and resources



 
 
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  #31  
Old September 17th 04, 08:35 PM
Betsy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 09:24:09 GMT, "Betsy" wrote:


"Cele" wrote in message
. ..
On Thu, 16 Sep 2004 08:11:46 GMT, "Betsy" wrote:


You don't say what his diagnosis is, or why he's on meds. Certain
medications can cause such outbursts, as well as these same outbursts
being
part of the condition for which he is being treated. For example, I
know
a
child who has ADHD, and at the drop of a hat, he'll start crying, or
suddenly scream at his mother, "I HATE YOU!" It's an unfortunate part
of
the ADHD.

Gotta tell you, that's not ADHD. ADHD is about attention and lack
thereof. Whatever else emerges, can be fallout from mismanagement of
ADHD, can be fallout from the stress of dealing with ADHD, can be
because the child isn't really ADHD and has been misdiagnosed, but in
and of itself, that's not ADHD.

ADHD is about attention and activity level, full stop.

The other stuff is kind of extra embellishment, which may or may not
happen, depending on a whole host of exciting life circumstances.

Sorry to be pedantic, but I had a flash of accuracy and it grabbed me
and put me in a lockhold until I made this post......


Cele


No Problem Cele. I didn't say her son had ADHD. I said I have seen
similar
behaviors in children with ADHD. I would never try to diagnose or
reccommend a disorder to anyone. Just pointing out that her son's
behavior
may well be a part of his diagnosis; something to be dealt with in that
manner, rather than a slam from him to her parenting style. That was the
intent of my post.

Betsy


Fair enough, Betsy. I agree with that. I truly wasn't looking to be
all critical. It's just that in my line of work, these days,
practically *everyone* has ADHD, whether they do or not, if you see
what I mean. :-)

Take care.

Cele


Right. I have truly seen only a handful of children who I would truly
classify as ADHD. I feel that diagnosis is overused in today's society.
Some kids have an attention deficit...it's that they don't get enough
attention. Others truly have the inability to control impulses. It's too
easy to look for a "quick fix" to a problem, and that encourages medicating
people when it is unnecessary; tragic when it's a growing child. I can
truly see your point of view Cele.

Take care yourself.

Betsy


  #32  
Old September 17th 04, 09:01 PM
slykitten
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default



--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
om...
"slykitten" wrote in message

...
I'm coming out of lurk-mode for a brief while. Mostly because I'm having
some issues with my son.
Before I proceed, I'll give a very brief history:
1) he's under the care of a psychiatrist for his meds
2) he's on meds (a cocktail really)
3) he's been in the hospital for certain behaviors that are concerning

that
needed immediate attention and got immediate attention.
4) we have a social worker
5) we have a therapist (in-home psychologist who is helping me with both
parenting, coping and behavior modification skills for this kiddo)
6) I've learned safe restraint techniques for when he becomes violent

(which
thankfully isn't all that often anymore)
7) he's on a behavior mod plan in school
8) he has a great IEP

So what am I missing? Why does this kid constantly tell people that he

hates
living with me? This past weekend I was in the hospital.... very sick. I
have diverticulitis which I found out is aparently pretty rare in people
under the age of 30.... I'll be 29 on Sunday. My son threw a fit and

told
some people at his school about how I left him alone with no one around.

The
reality is that his step-dad who loves him very much took me to the

hospital
where my friend met me and he took the kids home to care for them,

knowing
that my friend was with me. He explained to my son on the way to the
hospital that mommy is sick and needs to be taken care of by special

doctors
who can help mommy's tummy get better with special medicine that gets

rid of
infection. I was gone only 3 days. I just don't get it.
Over Labor day weekend, I visited with my parents and when my son threw

a
fit in the middle of a Wal Mart store, he had to be restrained until he

was
calmed down... I actually asked the door greeter to call in a manager

and
security guard to help me.... Are there resources out there that I may

be
missing? Is this something that's just behavioral or was this something
resembling sort of like a seizure?
I'm coming out of lurk at the risk of being massively flamed and

attacked.
What I'm actually doing is asking for help, ideas, resources, links and

any
other ideas and advice anyone is willing to offer and share. I feel

crappy
as it is. I really don't need anyone's cruel and judgemental remarks on

top
of it right now. I'm also not looking for anyone to coddle me and say,

"oh
you poor thing!" because I don't belive that I'm in any way burdened. I
believe I'm being challenged but have reached a bit of an obstacle that

I'm
not sure how to get past.
Thanks.


Sorry about the diverticulitis episode you had. I have a friend who
had that and was in the hospital, too. It's so painful and awful.

For me, it's a hereditary thing. my grampa has it and I have 2 aunts with
it. All of them had it diagnosed though after they were at minimum of 43
years old.... grampa was 54.... I'm only 28 and so they're thinking that
something happened in my body.... I'm not sure quite how to explain it.....
but it just happened and I get to fight it off. It sux, it's painful and
it's nasty. I'd rather give birth again.

To me, it really sounds like your son was doing so well there for
quite a while, and that he had a set-back because you got sick. (Two
steps forward, one step back?)

I'd agree with that....


Besides the social worker, the meds, the doctor, the safe restraint
techs, the school, and everything else that you mentioned, I don't
know of any other resources for him. I would like to see something for
you, though. The step-dad and your friend seem like a terrific support
system for you. I think you need to have some fun when you feel
better.

Karen


Having fun would be a good thing.... keeping a babysitter around long enough
is a challenge though.... *sigh*


  #33  
Old September 17th 04, 09:41 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"CME" wrote in message
news:3eG2d.39799$KU5.24081@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten" ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!! he's

the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15 months

old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--

No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%. My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the

youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago probably,

but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$# it,

means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us. Our

vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it doesn't

matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev


Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose. You see what you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your

personal
vendetta against Joelle. But then again, why am I wasting my breath when
I'm supposed to be holding it. Good luck to you in life, I sincerely

think
you'll need it.

Christine



Yeah, let it out.... breath please.

I agree as I tried to bring some awareness to her concerning Joelle's posts.
But, hey, what do we know?

T


  #34  
Old September 17th 04, 09:44 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"slykitten" wrote in message
...


--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
om...
"slykitten" wrote in message

...
I'm coming out of lurk-mode for a brief while. Mostly because I'm

having
some issues with my son.
Before I proceed, I'll give a very brief history:
1) he's under the care of a psychiatrist for his meds
2) he's on meds (a cocktail really)
3) he's been in the hospital for certain behaviors that are concerning

that
needed immediate attention and got immediate attention.
4) we have a social worker
5) we have a therapist (in-home psychologist who is helping me with

both
parenting, coping and behavior modification skills for this kiddo)
6) I've learned safe restraint techniques for when he becomes violent

(which
thankfully isn't all that often anymore)
7) he's on a behavior mod plan in school
8) he has a great IEP

So what am I missing? Why does this kid constantly tell people that he

hates
living with me? This past weekend I was in the hospital.... very sick.

I
have diverticulitis which I found out is aparently pretty rare in

people
under the age of 30.... I'll be 29 on Sunday. My son threw a fit and

told
some people at his school about how I left him alone with no one

around.
The
reality is that his step-dad who loves him very much took me to the

hospital
where my friend met me and he took the kids home to care for them,

knowing
that my friend was with me. He explained to my son on the way to the
hospital that mommy is sick and needs to be taken care of by special

doctors
who can help mommy's tummy get better with special medicine that gets

rid of
infection. I was gone only 3 days. I just don't get it.
Over Labor day weekend, I visited with my parents and when my son

threw
a
fit in the middle of a Wal Mart store, he had to be restrained until

he
was
calmed down... I actually asked the door greeter to call in a manager

and
security guard to help me.... Are there resources out there that I may

be
missing? Is this something that's just behavioral or was this

something
resembling sort of like a seizure?
I'm coming out of lurk at the risk of being massively flamed and

attacked.
What I'm actually doing is asking for help, ideas, resources, links

and
any
other ideas and advice anyone is willing to offer and share. I feel

crappy
as it is. I really don't need anyone's cruel and judgemental remarks

on
top
of it right now. I'm also not looking for anyone to coddle me and say,

"oh
you poor thing!" because I don't belive that I'm in any way burdened.

I
believe I'm being challenged but have reached a bit of an obstacle

that
I'm
not sure how to get past.
Thanks.


Sorry about the diverticulitis episode you had. I have a friend who
had that and was in the hospital, too. It's so painful and awful.

For me, it's a hereditary thing. my grampa has it and I have 2 aunts with
it. All of them had it diagnosed though after they were at minimum of 43
years old.... grampa was 54.... I'm only 28 and so they're thinking that
something happened in my body.... I'm not sure quite how to explain

it.....
but it just happened and I get to fight it off. It sux, it's painful and
it's nasty. I'd rather give birth again.

To me, it really sounds like your son was doing so well there for
quite a while, and that he had a set-back because you got sick. (Two
steps forward, one step back?)

I'd agree with that....


Besides the social worker, the meds, the doctor, the safe restraint
techs, the school, and everything else that you mentioned, I don't
know of any other resources for him. I would like to see something for
you, though. The step-dad and your friend seem like a terrific support
system for you. I think you need to have some fun when you feel
better.

Karen


Having fun would be a good thing.... keeping a babysitter around long

enough
is a challenge though.... *sigh*



You know, I did want to add that as trying as things might be right now, I
noticed at one point that you mentioned that your son is doing better over
all, that your sickness just seemed to put a damper on that. That is
perfectly normal, it scared the **** out of him probably. So I think the
steps you have been taking are helping and may be all you can do at this
point.

Good luck.

T


  #35  
Old September 17th 04, 10:22 PM
Bebelestrnge0721
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 9/17/2004 4:41 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


"CME" wrote in message
news:3eG2d.39799$KU5.24081@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten"
ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!! he's

the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15 months

old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--
No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%. My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the

youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago probably,

but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$# it,

means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us. Our

vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it doesn't

matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev


-------
Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose.


Well, lets see.....hmmmm......medication,
I have been on and off antidepressant medication for years for clinical
depression. Yes I am on medication ATM I Have been since my sig. other passed
away , Trauma triggers my depression. I have not missed a dose though ????? Not
a very nice thing for you to say . You know for some people medication keeps
them alive, or gives them quality of life.

You see what you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your

personal
vendetta against Joelle.


Well which is it ? I missed a dose or my personal vendetta against Ms. Bitch ?


But then again, why am I wasting my breath when
I'm supposed to be holding it.


because theres some people that just can not help themselves

Good luck to you in life, I sincerely
think
you'll need it.

Christine


Oh heck Christine, I have been around a long time, maybe some of it has been
luck but I promise you I am a survivor and luck has nothing to do with it .


Yeah, let it out.... breath please.


Breathe Honey

I agree as I tried to bring some awareness to her concerning Joelle's posts.
But, hey, what do we know?

T



Joelle irks my craw yes she does, Yes she is da bitch, she knows it. Probably
takes pride in that. I have known many and still do, she does not need
protection, she holds her own very well, Tiff there are leaders and followers
sweety, you better pick up the pace, you are following a little too slowly dear
I am aware, Joelle bites.
I listened to her tell me her thoughts a while ago , I did use some of her
advice..... the attacks and accusations that disrespected me , my daughter, my
grandchild, and my Partner are indeed part of why I defended Sly as I will
defend anyone she tries to treat with disrespect.You get what you give ain't
that right?
  #37  
Old September 17th 04, 11:08 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 9/17/2004 4:41 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


"CME" wrote in message
news:3eG2d.39799$KU5.24081@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten"
ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!!

he's
the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15

months
old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--
No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%.

My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the
youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago

probably,
but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$#

it,
means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us.

Our
vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it

doesn't
matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev


-------
Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose.


Well, lets see.....hmmmm......medication,
I have been on and off antidepressant medication for years for clinical
depression. Yes I am on medication ATM I Have been since my sig. other

passed
away , Trauma triggers my depression. I have not missed a dose though

????? Not
a very nice thing for you to say . You know for some people medication

keeps
them alive, or gives them quality of life.

You see what you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your

personal
vendetta against Joelle.


Well which is it ? I missed a dose or my personal vendetta against Ms.

Bitch ?


But then again, why am I wasting my breath when
I'm supposed to be holding it.


because theres some people that just can not help themselves

Good luck to you in life, I sincerely
think
you'll need it.

Christine


Oh heck Christine, I have been around a long time, maybe some of it has

been
luck but I promise you I am a survivor and luck has nothing to do with it

..


Yeah, let it out.... breath please.


Breathe Honey

I agree as I tried to bring some awareness to her concerning Joelle's

posts.
But, hey, what do we know?

T



Joelle irks my craw yes she does, Yes she is da bitch, she knows it.

Probably
takes pride in that. I have known many and still do, she does not need
protection, she holds her own very well, Tiff there are leaders and

followers
sweety, you better pick up the pace, you are following a little too slowly

dear
I am aware, Joelle bites.


If you are a leader, what are you leading, sweety? You aren't aware of much
as I see it, you can't even read.


I listened to her tell me her thoughts a while ago , I did use some of her
advice..... the attacks and accusations that disrespected me , my

daughter, my
grandchild, and my Partner are indeed part of why I defended Sly as I will
defend anyone she tries to treat with disrespect.You get what you give

ain't
that right?


So you feel the need to defend someone but when I speak up about your
manipulation of words concerning other people's post, I am slow? Yes, you do
get what you give, ISN'T that right? Yes, I have plenty of good in my life,
what is your point?

BTW, your reply was to my post but had comments to another's reply.

Tiff


  #38  
Old September 17th 04, 11:11 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

No Problem.

T
"slykitten" wrote in message
...
T,
Thanks for making this post show through. I set aside my initial reaction
and just read on. I just want to say Thanks to Joelle for at least knowing
my position and knowing what I'm dealing with and knowing it's not easy.

--



  #39  
Old September 17th 04, 11:23 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 9/17/2004 4:41 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


"CME" wrote in message
news:3eG2d.39799$KU5.24081@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten"
ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!!

he's
the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15

months
old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--
No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%.

My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the
youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago

probably,
but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$#

it,
means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us.

Our
vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it

doesn't
matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev


-------
Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose.


Well, lets see.....hmmmm......medication,
I have been on and off antidepressant medication for years for clinical
depression. Yes I am on medication ATM I Have been since my sig. other

passed
away , Trauma triggers my depression. I have not missed a dose though

????? Not
a very nice thing for you to say . You know for some people medication

keeps
them alive, or gives them quality of life.


Yep and I've used them myself.

You see what you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your

personal
vendetta against Joelle.


Well which is it ? I missed a dose or my personal vendetta against Ms.

Bitch ?


But then again, why am I wasting my breath when
I'm supposed to be holding it.


because theres some people that just can not help themselves

Good luck to you in life, I sincerely
think
you'll need it.

Christine


Oh heck Christine, I have been around a long time, maybe some of it has

been
luck but I promise you I am a survivor and luck has nothing to do with it

..


Whoopdy ****in doo. Oh yay you're a survivor, do you think that entitles
you to see something that isn't there? We've all been through ****, it's
called life and I don't know a single person that hasn't had bad things
happen to them so quit flaunting that like it means something.

Yeah, let it out.... breath please.


Breathe Honey

I agree as I tried to bring some awareness to her concerning Joelle's

posts.
But, hey, what do we know?

T



Joelle irks my craw yes she does, Yes she is da bitch, she knows it.

Probably
takes pride in that. I have known many and still do, she does not need
protection, she holds her own very well, Tiff there are leaders and

followers
sweety, you better pick up the pace, you are following a little too slowly

dear
I am aware, Joelle bites.
I listened to her tell me her thoughts a while ago , I did use some of her
advice..... the attacks and accusations that disrespected me , my

daughter, my
grandchild, and my Partner are indeed part of why I defended Sly as I will
defend anyone she tries to treat with disrespect.You get what you give

ain't
that right?


Problem is you see nearly every word she posts as an attack and THAT is what
you need to re-evaluate.

Christine


  #40  
Old September 17th 04, 11:57 PM
Joelle
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children? Having
someone else think about us never hurts.


Hell. I'll pray for everyone here tonight. Even the arrogant hypocrites that
in the name of charity I shan't name...

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
 




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