what do you think?

Subject: what do you think?
From: (Karen O'Mara)
Date: 11/16/2004 5:18 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

You have to remember...'it is all about her' which is the crux of the
problem......she hads never been motivated by what is best for her daughter

or grandaughter.......it is only what is best for her.

hello out there. I've lost track of the thread so am chiming in at an
inappropriate point, but I would like to know more about the paternal
grandparents. What is their home like? Do they have money? Can they
provide for this baby?

Karen

Karen, they have more money than we do yes, they own a home no we do not .
Providing for the baby financially is not a problem on either side, they have a
special needs son as well, he does not talk, his grandmother has him most of
the time cause his mother can't deal with him. The paternal grandmother has not
supported either of these kids throughout the pregnancy, she said on several
occasions that "she was not gonna quit her job and raise this Kid" on more
than two occasions called them both (my daughter ) stupid and said to her she
should have an abortion, while my daughter was 6 7and 8 months pregnant.She
would come here with the baby sleeping on her shoulder and remove the coat she
bought for the baby from her standing on our porch , would never come in the
house, You know the type, anything she bought the baby is hers .......I kid you
not. Is this a safe environment for this baby ..I am sorry but I can not say
yes. Last week the baby was sick turned out to be ear infections......anyway
she got real bad on sunday and so my daughter called for an appt. first thing
monday morning they had a 4 oclock . She took it and then proceeded to try and
contact the father to let him know the baby was sick and had to go to this
appt. that maybe his mom should not pick her up at 2:30, messages were missed,
she shows up at 3:45 over an hour late to find us leaving for the doc appt. I
said didn't he tell you she angrilly said he works I don't talk to him, spun
around stomped off the porch to her vehicle and spun out her tires kicking up
stones toward us. (baby in her moms arms) There is almost 20 months worth of
this **** and No No No I am not wrong about this woman ...she is not capable of
the nurturing loving environment this baby has been living in her whole life.

oops daughter

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: what do you think?
From: "P.Fritz"
Date: 11/16/2004 8:45 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


You have to remember...'it is all about her' which is the crux of the
problem......she hads never been motivated by what is best for her daughter
or grandaughter.......it is only what is best for her.



Paul, I am sorry this is how I am perceived . My daughters and grand
daughters
best interests ARE what motivates me. snip for brevity

There is no reason for apology. You have nothing to prove to Paul or no one
else, for that matter.
You know in your heart what is good and best.
Sometimes you have to take what is useful and ignore the ribs and salty
advice.
Some people are not as compassionate and/or understanding and/or
non-judgmental as others.
V

"V" wrote in message
...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: what do you think?
From: "P.Fritz"
Date: 11/16/2004 8:45 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


You have to remember...'it is all about her' which is the crux of the
problem......she hads never been motivated by what is best for her
daughter
or grandaughter.......it is only what is best for her.



Paul, I am sorry this is how I am perceived . My daughters and grand
daughters
best interests ARE what motivates me. snip for brevity

There is no reason for apology. You have nothing to prove to Paul or no
one
else, for that matter.
You know in your heart what is good and best.
Sometimes you have to take what is useful and ignore the ribs and salty
advice.
Some people are not as compassionate and/or understanding and/or
non-judgmental as others.
V

An some people are enablers of the dysfunctional

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"V" wrote in message
...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: what do you think?
From: "P.Fritz"
Date: 11/16/2004 8:45 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


You have to remember...'it is all about her' which is the crux of the
problem......she hads never been motivated by what is best for her
daughter
or grandaughter.......it is only what is best for her.



Paul, I am sorry this is how I am perceived . My daughters and grand
daughters
best interests ARE what motivates me. snip for brevity

There is no reason for apology. You have nothing to prove to Paul or no
one
else, for that matter.
You know in your heart what is good and best.
Sometimes you have to take what is useful and ignore the ribs and salty
advice.
Some people are not as compassionate and/or understanding and/or
non-judgmental as others.
V

An some people are enablers of the dysfunctional

And some people, like you, Paul, simply choose to be nasty to your chosen
targets. You've done it before, you'll do it again - all the while pretending
to actually know what goes on in someone else's life.

Keep pretending.

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 17 Nov 2004 17:43:30 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


And some people, like you, Paul, simply choose to be nasty to your chosen
targets. You've done it before, you'll do it again - all the while
pretending
to actually know what goes on in someone else's life.

Keep pretending.

Hate to be the one to burst your bubble but Bev is no innocent. I
tried to help her once and when I could no longer help, she became
abusive and scared the crap out of me. She posted trash about me not
all that long ago. Now she's mad at me because I won't help her.
Let's see. I help, I get trashed. I don't help, I get trashed.

No contest.

*shields up!*

And because I trust your judgement, I'm not going to argue what sort of person
Bev is.

However, I've been the target of Paul's vileness, and he doesn't know diddly
about me, my kids, or my life.
My judgement of him holds.

Course, I like you, and my judgement of you holds, too

And my stepfather is nearly a year past the 3-9 months they gave him - go figure
:-)


'Kate

Subject: what do you think?
From: 'Kate
Date: 11/17/2004 9:18 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

On Wed, 17 Nov 2004 17:43:30 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


And some people, like you, Paul, simply choose to be nasty to your chosen
targets. You've done it before, you'll do it again - all the while
pretending
to actually know what goes on in someone else's life.

Keep pretending.

Hate to be the one to burst your bubble but Bev is no innocent. I
tried to help her once and when I could no longer help, she became
abusive and scared the crap out of me.
Yes Kate, you and I do know what happened between us, and I will be respectful.
I know I became angry with you, and I know my actions were awful, and I again
apoligise for that. I was a mess back then , I was out of control and angry at
both myself and you for what happened.
I am and have been truly sorry.

She posted trash about me not
all that long ago.

Yes I jumped your **** again here, cause I felt what truth you did know about
me and the truth about what happened was understood by you and then you in your
way hurt me again and I in my overly sensitive way reacted to the rejection.
Again Yes I have been upset that I could not find your forgiveness for the way
things happened between us.It still bugs me cause you were the first person I
trusted after Gayle died , the first person I feel gratitude for that I made it
through that part of my life and the friend I lost because I could not handle
rejection, disapointment , and the pain I was feeling over what happened that
still hurts the most and probably always will. I still do not understand why
you could not forgive me knowing what truly happened.

Now she's mad at me because I won't help her.

Kate I am not mad at you for not helping , I am hurt that you, instead of just
letting this thread alone chose to make it a play ground . I was feeling
scared ,sad, and broken hearted at what my daughter was facing, and you hurt me
with what you did , because of who you are , it can and does hurt.

Let's see. I help, I get trashed. I don't help, I get trashed.

No contest.

*shields up!*

'Kate

Kate I truly am sorry that I have made you feel this way, my hopes had been
over the past three years that the bond I felt we made could have survived the
fall. I never wanted for the friendship we built to end the way it did. I am
sorry, I am still learning to walk this walk. You have no idea what it has
taken for me to get through what happened to me with you.

Bev

Subject: what do you think?
From: 'Kate
Date: 11/17/2004 10:07 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

On Wed, 17 Nov 2004 20:49:13 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


"'Kate" wrote in message
. ..
On Wed, 17 Nov 2004 17:43:30 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


And some people, like you, Paul, simply choose to be nasty to your chosen
targets. You've done it before, you'll do it again - all the while
pretending
to actually know what goes on in someone else's life.

Keep pretending.

Hate to be the one to burst your bubble but Bev is no innocent. I
tried to help her once and when I could no longer help, she became
abusive and scared the crap out of me. She posted trash about me not
all that long ago. Now she's mad at me because I won't help her.
Let's see. I help, I get trashed. I don't help, I get trashed.

No contest.

*shields up!*

And because I trust your judgement, I'm not going to argue what sort of
person
Bev is.

She will be in here to "defend" herself by trashing me so not to
worry. I will, of course, ignore her because of her actions the last
time I overcame my better judgment to help her. Fool me once, shame on
you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I've learned enough.

Kate I think I said most of what I needed to say to you on this. I understand
the caution. I am learning more so to understand -me- anymore, I am overly
sensitive and I do not like that about myself, I am still stuck in some
childhood abuse issues , the need to be accepted, the need to be understood,
the need to be loved and forgiven for my mistakes, all the neediness that I
hate about myself, it is the hardest thing to shake. I do not want to take
offense with true caring advice , even if it hurts, I do have a problem seeing
the real care from the abusive . I want to believe you always meant to care. I
am truly not a horrible person, I do hope some day you can see that.


However, I've been the target of Paul's vileness, and he doesn't know diddly
about me, my kids, or my life.

Of course he doesn't. The problem is, though, that you cannot be
controlled and you're smart.

"nail on head" In my case I can be controlled and I am smart enough to see
that is a part of my problem. Paul is someone that I know does not really know
me , or know my family, and his judgements bug the hell outta me again because
even here in a newsgroup of people that really don't have to matter can trip my
triggers and that is so not what I want .

My judgement of him holds.

Course, I like you, and my judgement of you holds, too

And my stepfather is nearly a year past the 3-9 months they gave him - go
figure
:-)

That's incredible! I'm so happy for you all. What a wonderful holiday
gift.

'Kate

Subject: what do you think?
From: "Moon Shyne"
Date: 11/17/2004 9:49 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


"'Kate" wrote in message
.. .
On Wed, 17 Nov 2004 17:43:30 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


And some people, like you, Paul, simply choose to be nasty to your chosen
targets. You've done it before, you'll do it again - all the while
pretending
to actually know what goes on in someone else's life.

Keep pretending.

Hate to be the one to burst your bubble but Bev is no innocent. I
tried to help her once and when I could no longer help, she became
abusive and scared the crap out of me. She posted trash about me not
all that long ago. Now she's mad at me because I won't help her.
Let's see. I help, I get trashed. I don't help, I get trashed.

No contest.

*shields up!*


And because I trust your judgement, I'm not going to argue what sort of
person
Bev is.

I am a person , not a perfect person, not a bad person, A person that has made
mistakes , a person that worries too much about acceptance, that has struggled
as everyone else has at times in thier lives, I love my family , my friends and
have stopped my car and given my coat to a homeless person, I care , I hurt
terribly when I hurt others. Paul ****es me off , but that doesn't mean I hate
him. Kate is afraid to forgive me , I lashed out at her , I was hurt by
circumstances that got out of control 4 years ago when I lost my partner to
death. She tried to help me (which she did) but I let things get out of control
and I was hurt and I have this bad habit of being angry when I am hurt. She did
not hurt me intentionally, It was my fault. My weakness, my neediness, and my
grief pushed her away and I have this terrible need still for her to
understand, I meant no harm.I regret the loss.

However, I've been the target of Paul's vileness, and he doesn't know diddly
about me, my kids, or my life.
My judgement of him holds.

Course, I like you, and my judgement of you holds, too

And my stepfather is nearly a year past the 3-9 months they gave him - go
figure
:-)


'Kate

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 17 Nov 2004 17:43:30 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


And some people, like you, Paul, simply choose to be nasty to your chosen
targets. You've done it before, you'll do it again - all the while
pretending
to actually know what goes on in someone else's life.

Keep pretending.

Hate to be the one to burst your bubble but Bev is no innocent. I
tried to help her once and when I could no longer help, she became
abusive and scared the crap out of me. She posted trash about me not
all that long ago. Now she's mad at me because I won't help her.
Let's see. I help, I get trashed. I don't help, I get trashed.

No contest.

*shields up!*

'Kate


Looks like moonie is in projection mode......she is the queen of pretending.