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  #1  
Old August 17th 06, 12:54 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
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Posts: 196
Default Finally!

As some of you know my youngest daughter is mentally disabled. When she
became 18 this past September SSI decided she was miraculously cured
and no longer eligible for benefits.I appealed that decision and we
finally got the results of the hearing today. They have decided her
borderline personality disorder is a severe impairment to her ability
to get and hold a job. Therfore she will continue to get the benefits.
Took them just about a year to decide this......She is doing incredibly
well accepting her diagnosis . As she gets older I am seeing her able
to cope better and she has learned ways to control her impulsivenes. We
were able to get an extension on her mobile therapy and after the baby
is born she will resume medication as planned. We are looking into
Charter school for her to finish H.S. This is the second pregnancy I
have watched her symptoms subside with the hormonal changes wierd but
true!
Bev

  #2  
Old August 18th 06, 12:43 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Finally!


'Kate wrote:
On 16 Aug 2006 16:54:39 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

As some of you know my youngest daughter is mentally disabled. When she
became 18 this past September SSI decided she was miraculously cured
and no longer eligible for benefits.I appealed that decision and we
finally got the results of the hearing today. They have decided her
borderline personality disorder is a severe impairment to her ability
to get and hold a job. Therfore she will continue to get the benefits.
Took them just about a year to decide this......She is doing incredibly
well accepting her diagnosis . As she gets older I am seeing her able
to cope better and she has learned ways to control her impulsivenes. We
were able to get an extension on her mobile therapy and after the baby
is born she will resume medication as planned. We are looking into
Charter school for her to finish H.S. This is the second pregnancy I
have watched her symptoms subside with the hormonal changes wierd but
true!
Bev


I believe it. You said that they did do a full endocrine workup on
her... right?


What was done was a thyroid sp? test which was normal, as well as the
full CBC.

It seems weird that her symptoms are better when she's
pregnant.


I remember back when she was admitted into the Kidspeace program , I
was having a conversation with the Psychiatrist about her hellacious
mood swings during her menstrual cycle. That doctor told me that they
were noticing that many of their studies with biploar women showed a
remission type of effect on their disease during pregnancy and they
attributed that to the hormonal changes during pregnancy.

I can imagine that on birth control, she's worse?


I am not sure ....she was on the depo shot after J was born as well as
on and off so many different meds that it would be hard to pinpoint
that. Seems after 21/2 years of the depo she then went on the pill for
about 3-6 months and then gasp she was on nothing and claimed to not
be sexually activeduh where was my head at? I just wanted to believe
her , could not imagine she would take that chance having one now that
she needs help with.The results to that lapse in brain function will be
born somewhere around Feb.13th.Like I have said to our mobile
therapist.....I know this is not my fault, but I cant stop feeling
responsible. Everybody keeps telling me she has to take responsibility
for herself and when I try and look the other way and breathe a little
of my own life in ..........

I'm curious... it can't be coincidence, ya know?


It is a good question, it is an interesting concept and possibility.

And I'm glad she's ok while she's pregnant.


It is good that she is at peace and in control of her emotions during
pregnancy yes, but keeping her pregnant is not an option !

Congrats on getting the SSI for her. That'll take some of the load off.


Yes it does take off some of the financial burden, I am losing my
babysitting job starting monday ..My grandson ( yes I was paid !) $300
a month.. why? His father would have spent it on beer so I gladly did
my share to help put his money to better use. :-)
Apparently my grandson was kicked outta bible school and so his
paternal grandmother offered to help them pay to put him in a preschool
setting to try and break him of his behavior problem, get use to a
school setting and a group of other children, because he starts
kindergarten in a year and a half. I have news for em LOL!!!!!!!! Until
they get their act together in the home he lives in and give him some
guidlines to live by there is much trouble ahead! This is the typical
hahahaha he said "good ****" I did the best I could with him and to be
honest I'm not sure it helped cause as soon as his mother or father
came through my door he went off bouncing off the walls and my rules
were quickly forgotten. He does know how to behave if it is enforced.
They just dont enforce it. Oh well.......

Soooooo......I'll be looking for a job the next couple of weeks, the
knees are better , I can finally walk up and down the steps like a
human.I am still taking 2 Vicoden in a.m along with a Voltaren and the
same at bedtime .I tried to come off the Vicoden and all hell broke
loose , pain came back to being unbearable.Doctor said go back on them
and I see him on the 22nd. All the heart tests I had done came back o.k
they found one in there LOL!

Anyhow...... whats going on out there, how is the kids, the wedding
plans, the job etc. ?
Bev
'Kate


  #3  
Old August 18th 06, 04:25 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Finally!


'Kate wrote:
On 17 Aug 2006 16:43:34 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

snipped

I can imagine that on birth control, she's worse?


I am not sure ....she was on the depo shot after J was born as well as
on and off so many different meds that it would be hard to pinpoint
that. Seems after 21/2 years of the depo she then went on the pill for
about 3-6 months and then gasp she was on nothing and claimed to not
be sexually activeduh where was my head at? I just wanted to believe
her , could not imagine she would take that chance having one now that
she needs help with.The results to that lapse in brain function will be
born somewhere around Feb.13th.Like I have said to our mobile
therapist.....I know this is not my fault, but I cant stop feeling
responsible. Everybody keeps telling me she has to take responsibility
for herself and when I try and look the other way and breathe a little
of my own life in ..........


I never thought Phil would take his own life but he did and here we are.
We cannot see the unimaginable. We're involved in the day to day
struggle and it can get so intense that there's no way to take a step
back to look at a pattern or the overall picture that might predict what
is about to happen.

Who cares what other people think? Do they know you better than you know
yourself? Who gives them the right to judge you? (hint... she's in the
mirror).


What other people think is indeed their problem....I have gone through
enough now that very little will take me down, and I know if I fall
I'll be getting right back up and back in the game.....

Uhhhh.... that person in the mirror..... just stuck her tongue out
looking behind me hmm..... wonder who she did that to? ;-P

I'm curious... it can't be coincidence, ya know?


It is a good question, it is an interesting concept and possibility.


I think it's (endocrine system) worth looking into a little further if
she has insurance if only to eliminate that as a possibility.

I am going to ask about this , if there are any tests that can be done
we will see , good idea to rule it out once and for all. Would be great
to know if there is other treatment that could make her life better.

And I'm glad she's ok while she's pregnant.


It is good that she is at peace and in control of her emotions during
pregnancy yes, but keeping her pregnant is not an option !


Yeah. Poor kid. If that's the only time she feels normal, no wonder
she's expecting again.


It is not the only time she feels normal.....She is a cycler as well,at
times it is weeks or as much as a month either on or off meds, she
goes through very agreeable times and times where she hibernates , she
could be off and running on a tangent one moment and after a short
break in her room she comes out apologises explains what is really
going on and we go from there. It has taken years for us to get to this
point that is considered controlled! She was not open to any types of
agreement or contracts for a long time.For 5 years we have had this
same mobil therapist she is actually a behavioral specialist now, and
is still working in school towards a psychology degree . She has
basically been working with us since S was 14 yrs. old! S use to be
violent , really violent , that I had to call the police and have her
taken to the hospital by ambulance. I am so relieved that things have
become manageable and I know we never would have gotten this far if not
for the people that do this type of work that are dedicated to helping
our children.


Soooooo......I'll be looking for a job the next couple of weeks, the
knees are better , I can finally walk up and down the steps like a
human.I am still taking 2 Vicoden in a.m along with a Voltaren and the
same at bedtime .I tried to come off the Vicoden and all hell broke
loose , pain came back to being unbearable.Doctor said go back on them
and I see him on the 22nd. All the heart tests I had done came back o.k
they found one in there LOL!


LOL... who knew?
Good that your knees are better. Make sure you have a good, well
cushioned pair of sneakers!


Yea , I need a new pair of choos man, I have these 300.00 inserts that
are sliding around because the choos I have are worn on the soles at an
angle cause I walk funny LOL!

Anyhow...... whats going on out there, how is the kids, the wedding
plans, the job etc. ?
Bev


AAAARRRRGh. :-)
So guess who's cooking for the wedding?


heh heh hee heee !!!!
Two trays of lasagna from the groom who is making it in advance.
Salad from my long-time, must be 15 year neighbor.
Store bought italian bread
a pasta bar with 3 sauces - Parma Rosa, Alfredo, and Marinara (homemade)
Penne pasta
a tray of bite sized chicken (mine to do)
A tray of meatballs (I'm making them this weekend & freezing)
Italian dressing


mmmmmm !!!!! sounds delectible...er tasty even grin

the only thing we don't know is how to keep the penne pasta warm without
it gumming. The whole wheat pasta seems to stick together less.


O.K. here is a secret....only us institutional cooks know......you know
that vegetable non stick spray stuff? brand I am familiar with is
vegaline...any how you spray it into your pan of pasta lightly coating
the pasta and lightly tossing it around a bit no not at Kat! then
just before you serve take some hot water and drizzle it over the pasta
tossing it around a bit no no not at Kat! this is how we keep our
pasta from sticking in the steam table before we serve it.



What the heck. It saved $250.00.


Atta girl!

She almost fits into her bridal gown. One more inch... or less inch.


fingers crossed......

I'm set.


so what are you wearing ? um to the wedding silly LOL!

Still need to get Lisa and myself shoes... this weekend for Lisa 'cause
they have to be dyed.
My friend Brian's dad is hatching butterflies for the butterfly release.


nifty !

Mike has a tux rental


excellent

My brother's coming on the 5th of September.


that is wonderful !

I get to meet one of my 'net buddies from alt.support.grief (DVC)
because he's coming to the wedding. He said he'll renovate my bathroom
for me.


Very nice ! and a new bathroom to boot!

Lisa doesn't have rheumatoid arthritis. Yeah. We find out next wednesday
if she has to have something done for her gallbladder. I don't know if
she still is having a tonsillectomy. I will find that out tomorrow. & I
have to bring her old x-rays and tests back to the hospital for the
rheumatoid doc to look over.... seems she may have a problem with the
nervous system not shutting down after a prior injury/problem and that's
why she has diffuse pain. It ain't her joints. Oh. And she gets allergy
shots because there's a list of more than 20 things she's allergic to
including milk and soy. No more tofu. Damn. (blech anyway).


Damn...what the heck? that poor kid.. I'll be thinking good healthy
strong thoughts for her.

Work? I love it.

good...

I don't get to go as often as I want. I feel guilty
that I miss work for kids medical things.


yea well that got me fired many a time ! They didn't care I felt guilty
about it either !


I feel guilty that I'm
juggling everyone and I'm not able to provide the kind of loving, tender
care that I use to give... not to mention time.


uh huh ...dont beat yerself up now dear this is all part of being a
working single mother ...kinda sucks but it is what it is you'll be
fine.



We eat a lot of chicken
'cause it thaws and cooks fast. Thaw? Did I say thaw? Who thaws?


well thats why if your chicken has bones in it the meat by the bone is
black ....cause ya didn't thaw it first maw ! The rule is indeed
freezer to oven who has time to thaw?

heh. It's hectic. I'm happy, overall. Not thrilled with Lisa's medical
issues but happy overall.

smile
nuts, eh?

'K


Yea nuts ...keep smiling !
Bev

  #4  
Old August 19th 06, 02:31 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Finally!


'Kate wrote:
On 17 Aug 2006 20:25:26 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

snip
What other people think is indeed their problem....I have gone through
enough now that very little will take me down, and I know if I fall
I'll be getting right back up and back in the game.....


You've done a better job at getting back in the game than most
(including myself).


I would not cut yourself so short miss Kate ! lol...did I say that
right ?


more snippage
You probably know that most of us go into this field because we have
been in home situations that are less than... optimal. I'm glad that S
is doing better overall. You've made some really good decisions about
her care.


Yes I believe this to be true, maybe not so strange then are my
feelings of when I get back into school changing my focus on to
something in the field, of course not a psychologist but some kind of
counsiling support work. I have to research options yet.

I am glad I was able to find the strength within myself to be a better
mom after all that had happened in our lives. We have come a long way ,
I believe the distraction helped me focus better on why moving on was
what I needed to do, I saw my reason in my children to stand up and to
be strong. Thanks for noticing smile

Snipidity do da do da!

Anyhow...... whats going on out there, how is the kids, the wedding
plans, the job etc. ?
Bev

AAAARRRRGh. :-)
So guess who's cooking for the wedding?


heh heh hee heee !!!!


I know! I know! I thought you were nuts for doing it... so I know I am.
How can I say no to my lovely daughter for her wedding?


lol! crazy is as crazy does my dear ! With good planning and
organization you will manage .

Two trays of lasagna from the groom who is making it in advance.
Salad from my long-time, must be 15 year neighbor.
Store bought italian bread
a pasta bar with 3 sauces - Parma Rosa, Alfredo, and Marinara (homemade)
Penne pasta
a tray of bite sized chicken (mine to do)
A tray of meatballs (I'm making them this weekend & freezing)
Italian dressing


mmmmmm !!!!! sounds delectible...er tasty even grin


I'm so glad people *OFFERED*... they really don't mind helping out.
It'll make things like an old fashion community gathering. It seems more
of a blessing for the marriage.


It is wonderful when people pull together like this.

snipped again!
Wonderful. I'm going to pass that along. I'm not sure who's doing the
pasta but I know I'm the closest kitchen and I just got a new oven. OMG
is it awesome. Convection. Burner controls that work. A timer! I hadn't
realized how poorly the last oven/stove was working... thought it was
just my not paying attention to the cooking. But wow.... this new stove
is fanfreekingtastic.


So do you have the steam table type facilities ( chafing pans) to use
to keep the food hot at the reception? We were able to rent the steam
table at the facility which made everything so much easier!

Congrats on the brandy new oven !

snip
so what are you wearing ? um to the wedding silly LOL!


LOL. A 3 pc pantssuit. Toldya I wasn't doing a dress. The slacks have an
overlay around the sides that make it less pantsy. Sequins and beeds on
the top and a gauzy, unstructured jacket. JC Penney closed a store in
the area so I got it cheap. I only tried on the one thing so that's a
bonus. Oh. Champagne colored... a little lighter than I would have liked
but it won't clash.


Ahhh sounds just perfect, glad you found something you will be
comfortable wearing.

snip
My brother's coming on the 5th of September.


that is wonderful !


Damn right. I need work done here and he's very good at fixing things.
He's an electrician. You know he lives by you... New Tripoli.


yep ...New Tripoli one hour from me about 47 miles to be exact, very
nice area!
Will he be bringing the family? Where the heck you putting all your
guests?
Bev
'Kate


  #5  
Old August 20th 06, 01:55 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Finally!


'Kate wrote:
On 19 Aug 2006 06:31:43 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


snip

Meatballs. That's this weekend's work. Meatballs. My big decision is
what size meatball.... ping pong ball sized? golf ball sized? Something
larger (what I usually make).... something between golf and softball
sized. Of course, I could go for the whole enchilada and do one huge
meatball.... a meatball wedding cake! er.. maybe not.


Now I think of my dad.......he use to make the biggest meatballs I had
ever seen in my life...we grew up thinking this was normal LOL! Most
people are use to the golf ball size or a little bigger but them
softball size were far and few that I had ever seen anyone but my dad
make ! Delicious too! My thought is although it would be easier to just
make really large meatballs , if I were asked for a wedding meal I'd
say go with the smaller meatballs.

"a meatball wedding cake! er.. maybe not." LOL! ummm yer loose screw
is showing!

enjoy the fun !

Well we need to get Jaime ready to go ....S has her psych eval this
morning, and then we are meeting our family therapist for breakfast
this fine Sunday mornin ...... :-)

Have a nice day !
Bev

  #6  
Old August 20th 06, 03:30 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Mike
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default Finally!


"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On 20 Aug 2006 05:55:06 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


'Kate wrote:
On 19 Aug 2006 06:31:43 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


snip

Meatballs. That's this weekend's work. Meatballs. My big decision is
what size meatball.... ping pong ball sized? golf ball sized? Something
larger (what I usually make).... something between golf and softball
sized. Of course, I could go for the whole enchilada and do one huge
meatball.... a meatball wedding cake! er.. maybe not.


Now I think of my dad.......he use to make the biggest meatballs I had
ever seen in my life...we grew up thinking this was normal LOL! Most
people are use to the golf ball size or a little bigger but them
softball size were far and few that I had ever seen anyone but my dad
make ! Delicious too! My thought is although it would be easier to just
make really large meatballs , if I were asked for a wedding meal I'd
say go with the smaller meatballs.


I've heard that from a few other people... they love the large meatballs
that their moms or dads use to make.

I ended up making some "spaldeen" sized (you yankees may know what size
that is), and some between golf and spaldeen sized because that was what
my hand made... no control whatsoever. They're delicious though so of
the 140 or so that I made, I have 110 left.... dinner/snack for the
"Quality Control" people in the house (6 last night). Ok.. ok. I ate
three of 'em. Yum.


"a meatball wedding cake! er.. maybe not." LOL! ummm yer loose screw
is showing!


It is. I'd be ashamed but I forgot how to feel that.


enjoy the fun !


:-)

Well we need to get Jaime ready to go ....S has her psych eval this
morning, and then we are meeting our family therapist for breakfast
this fine Sunday mornin ...... :-)

Have a nice day !
Bev


Ah... well have fun! I hope the evaluation gets some answers answered...
or just lets things peacefully lie where they are.

Sunny and hot here already.... I'm heading out to do yardwork in a bit.

'Kate


Howdy, y'all! Dare I inquire of the miss as to what in tarnation a
"spaldeen" is?

Yer southern NG buddy,
Mike


 




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