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Good news, strange news, go figure
Well, it's been a long, difficult week.
I started spotting again (3rd time this pg) last weekend. Knew I was getting toward the end of the "12 week" coverage period for rhogam from the last pg... so I had to test my backup systems. Interestingly, the part I was scared to death about turned out better than fine, but the part I was sure about failed me completely. I called my midwife to ask if she had an easy way for me to get a rhogam shot and a brief ultrasound (Ilse, I totally believe the PTSD thing because the spotting was starting to cause flashbacks and nightmares...) She recommended I go to the partner of the doctor who yelled at me last time when I was miscarrying. I was NOT happy about the idea. Then she suggested that maybe I should take a doula with me as advocate. This was strange for me because a) I've been a doula, b)my mother is usually my advocate and c) my husband is a lawyer. Between the two of them I'm generally covered. I couldn't imagine bringing yet another person, unknown at that, into the mix during a time when I was totally stressed. I *hate* interviewing providers, it's stressful under the best of circumstances and these WERE NOT the best of circumstances. I couldn't convey this to her and finally took the names of the people she was suggesting and we ended the call. She was going off call the next day, so when it took more than 24 hours to get the appointment set up (I tried every other option first, and ended up having to make an appointment with the doctor I most did not want to see because his partner was on vacation) I didn't call her back because I didn't want to bother her while she was off call. She was just concerned that my husband wouldn't be a good advocate for me and I just started getting the impression that she didn't like him. I decided to let that go for now and deal with what I had to deal with. The dr. visit was *outstanding*. They wanted to do a full trans-vag ultrasound with nuchal scan, etc. I said, "No, do it abdominally, see if there's a heartbeat and an obvious reason for the bleeding and keep it short." They wanted to do the nuchal and check my ovaries, I said fine to the ovaries and "no" to the nuchal. The tech was okay with that and did a 5-7 minute scan tops, abdominally, found the heartbeat right away, placenta looked great, no obvious cause of bleeding, and baby was moving around and looked exactly the right size for 11 weeks. I went to another room, not an exam room, and the doc came in, answered questions, went over my medical history, gave the obligatory, "With FVL you should be on Lovenox" speech and did not press once I gave my obligatory, "I won't do lovenox unless there's a specific problem," speech. He agreed that I needed Rhogam, wanted a titre, which was alright with me, and that was it. He was polite, willing to send me a copy of my records, said that Singulair is fine for pregnancy, and basically I got exactly what I was looking for and no more no less. The ultrasound photo is at http://www.jenrose.com/revbaby.jpg The next day, when I checked my email, I got a note from the midwife, firing me. Because my husband was not comfortable with the fact that there was no privacy in our initial interview (people walking through all the time) and he mentioned this (politely), she was offended, apparently, and because "my history of adversarial relationships with caregivers raised a red flag for her" ????? and because she thought that if I had respect for medical therapies I ought to have respect for the therapists and be willing to do what I need to to make them comfortable treating me (Um, hello...that's what having a backup midwife was about for me) she didn't feel comfortable continuing. I am surprisingly *less* upset about not having her as my midwife than I am about how she went about severing the relationship. 80% of my reason for *wanting* a midwife for backup is so that if my husband needs support, he knows who to call! So a midwife who doesn't respect or like him isn't going to work, period. The bright side of this is that my hubby said, "Well, I think a major reason for having the midwife is to make the backup OB comfortable. I'd be more likely to call your mother, anyway." The only thing I'm worried about at this point is if she sends a note to the doc saying I'm no longer her client then he may get hot under the collar about things. That would *really* create problems. But baby is fine, and yes, what I've been feeling for almost 3 weeks *is* movement... I swear that the baby is playing my right round ligament like a guitar--I think it kicks *right* at the spot where the ligament attaches, and it sort of gives a gentle "twang" to the whole ligament, which makes it feel like I've got a fairy dancing on the inside of my right hip if I'm lying at the right angle. Jenrose |
#2
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Jenrose wrote:
Well, it's been a long, difficult week. I started spotting again (3rd time this pg) last weekend. Knew I was getting I had spotting 3 times, too. The third started around 12 weeks and went on for I think a week. The dr. visit was *outstanding*. They wanted to do a full trans-vag Cool! The next day, when I checked my email, I got a note from the midwife, firing me. Because my husband was not comfortable with the fact that there was no Weird! I didn't know midwives would do that! ;-) They're willing to work with *me*... I guess you had a touchy one. There's a touchy one at my midwife's practice, too, and I think they know that she and I would be a bad match. I've got two backup midwives and I get along with them really well. The touchy one is *never* there when I'm there. knows who to call! So a midwife who doesn't respect or like him isn't going to work, period. I would feel the same way. I would actually be offended about something like that (call it being protective of those I love). I hope you don't have trouble sticking with the OB. Good luck! |
#3
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On Sun, 15 Aug 2004 16:43:13 -0700, Jenrose wrote:
I've got a fairy dancing on the inside of my right hip if I'm lying at the right angle. Like the way you put that one! I'm glad you are fine. It must have been freaky to start spotting again just when you were thinking to be moving into the 'safe' zone. Be well! -- -- I mommy to DS (July '02) mommy to three tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04 & 20 May'04) guardian of DH (33) |
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