return to work and preparing my baby for a babysitter

Hi! My daughter is almost 7 month now and in September I need to be
back to work and she will be with a babysitter during the day (most
likely the whole day, about 10 hours). I am a first-time mom and so is
her babysitter (babysitter's son is 1.5 months younger than my
daughter). The babysitter doesn't have much experience in childcare, so
we both have lots of questions. I would like to make this transition
the least stressful for my baby, and start working with a peaceful mind
(although I'll probably be very anxious anyway). I'll appreciate if
you could help me with your advice on a few questions:

1. How to introduce the baby to the babysitter? The babysitter is just
someone I found through an ad online, we haven't even met much. Does
it make sense let my girl stay with the babysitter a few times for a
few hours before I dive into work and she has to be there all day long?
My daughter is very attached to me and will probably be more attached
in a couple of months.

2. What kind of items will the babysitter need to care for my baby
(besides the regular set - diapers, bottles, etc.)? I don't have an
extra crib - does it make sense to buy one or will she be ok sleeping
on a mattress on the floor? She always sleeps on a mattress on the
floor when we visit my in-laws, but she's 7 months now and not very
mobile. Would a mattress be a good idea when she's 9 months or should I
still buy a crib for her?

3. Day schedule - it is wise to ask a babysitter to stick to some kind
of schedule (feeding, sleep)? I don't really feed her by the clock
these days, more on demand (she's breastfed) but obviously I'll have to
give up breastfeeding when I start working.

4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

5. Any other tips and recommendations? I'll be very, very thankful
for any information you're willing to share.

Thank you in advance for all replies!

On 14 Jun 2005 08:48:50 -0700, wrote:

Hi! My daughter is almost 7 month now and in September I need to be
back to work and she will be with a babysitter during the day (most
likely the whole day, about 10 hours). I am a first-time mom and so is
her babysitter (babysitter's son is 1.5 months younger than my
daughter). The babysitter doesn't have much experience in childcare, so
we both have lots of questions. I would like to make this transition
the least stressful for my baby, and start working with a peaceful mind
(although I'll probably be very anxious anyway). I'll appreciate if
you could help me with your advice on a few questions:

1. How to introduce the baby to the babysitter? The babysitter is just
someone I found through an ad online, we haven't even met much. Does
it make sense let my girl stay with the babysitter a few times for a
few hours before I dive into work and she has to be there all day long?
My daughter is very attached to me and will probably be more attached
in a couple of months.

I suggest you both spend time with the babysitter. YOU need to get to
know her as well as your daughter. Go to the park with the kids and
generally hang out together, to get both of you more used to her.

2. What kind of items will the babysitter need to care for my baby
(besides the regular set - diapers, bottles, etc.)? I don't have an
extra crib - does it make sense to buy one or will she be ok sleeping
on a mattress on the floor? She always sleeps on a mattress on the
floor when we visit my in-laws, but she's 7 months now and not very
mobile. Would a mattress be a good idea when she's 9 months or should I
still buy a crib for her?

I wouldn't. The sitter should have a suitable sleeping area available
for your daughter. Perhaps a pack and play.

3. Day schedule - it is wise to ask a babysitter to stick to some kind
of schedule (feeding, sleep)? I don't really feed her by the clock
these days, more on demand (she's breastfed) but obviously I'll have to
give up breastfeeding when I start working.

?? Working mothers breastfeed all the time. You can express
breastmilk to provide to the sitter, and breastfeed when you're home
in the evening and on weekends.

4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

Frankly, I think a sitter shouldn't have a "personal life" when
they're watching my child. Since you're not comfortable with her
taking your child on errands, you need to be up front. She'll need to
adjust her errand-running just like other parents do.... by doing it
after she's done working.
Some parents don't mind having a sitter cart their child around on
personal business, and that's fine, too. I just don't happen to be
one of them.

5. Any other tips and recommendations? I'll be very, very thankful
for any information you're willing to share.

Thank you in advance for all replies!

Nan

In article ,
Nan wrote:


4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

Frankly, I think a sitter shouldn't have a "personal life" when
they're watching my child. Since you're not comfortable with her
taking your child on errands, you need to be up front. She'll need to
adjust her errand-running just like other parents do.... by doing it
after she's done working.
Some parents don't mind having a sitter cart their child around on
personal business, and that's fine, too. I just don't happen to be
one of them.

Actually, I think this is worth thinking about.

WHY do you not want her taking the baby grocery shopping or out running
errands? If she is running a largish day care, I could understand that
-- but if she's only going to have two babies, outings like the grocery
store and whatnot would not be difficult, and would break up the day,
both for her and for the babies.

Many babies thrive on this sort of active life -- out and about instead
of in the same house all day.

If you don't want her to do things like that, you have to be up front
about it -- but first make sure you are clear about WHY you don't want
her to be doing it.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

dragonlady wrote:

WHY do you not want her taking the baby grocery shopping or out
running errands?

Mine did it and when her errands got to be to much (seemed she had a lot) we
eventually switched providers.

The main reason I didn't like it is because my kid went on all her errands
and then he had to come on all mine too (when was I going to do them?).
That is a lot of errands and he'd get crabby and I can see why. She got all
her errands done during the day, with my kid, and then got a relaxing
evening at home. My poor kid got drug around all day but then got drug
around all night too. That wasn't every day of course - I wasn't that
errand crazy :-)
It was also a lot of driving because there was a 15-30 minute trip in the
car to get anywhere.

There was also the added concern that she wasn't as safe with the carseat as
I wanted. I did address this to my satisfaction but it was another down
side.

--
Nikki

wrote in message
oups.com...
The babysitter is just
someone I found through an ad online, we haven't even met much.

I would check the babysitter out very carefully. I would definitely google
her (both the web and news) and see what turns up. It probably makes sense
to have police checks done on her too, just to be on the safe side.

Does
it make sense let my girl stay with the babysitter a few times for a
few hours before I dive into work and she has to be there all day long?

Yeah. Actually, if you can negoiate with your new employer so that you
return to work part time at first (perhaps beginning in August), this may be
best. It would get the kinks out of the system between you and the
babysitter, and help you adjust to work life again. Don't forget, you're
going from one full-time job to two.

My daughter is very attached to me and will probably be more attached
in a couple of months.

2. What kind of items will the babysitter need to care for my baby
(besides the regular set - diapers, bottles, etc.)? I don't have an
extra crib - does it make sense to buy one or will she be ok sleeping
on a mattress on the floor?

They use mats at a lot of daycare centers. A mattress should be just fine.

3. Day schedule - it is wise to ask a babysitter to stick to some kind
of schedule (feeding, sleep)? I don't really feed her by the clock
these days, more on demand (she's breastfed) but obviously I'll have to
give up breastfeeding when I start working.

Talk to the babysitter about this. If her feeding schedule or lack thereof
works fine for the sitter, you're set. If not, you have to work with the
sitter to get one that works for you so that you can feed her after work and
on weekends without upsetting yourself or you daughter.

4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

The first thought that comes to my mind is: are you paying her enough so
that she should be paying attention to your daughter instead of the TV or go
grocery shopping? You're not talking about someone who cuts your grass once
a week. You're talking about your daughter's wellbeing. I am not saying your
babysitter shouldn't have down time (like during the naps), but she should
also be playing with your daughter.

Also, try to be considerate to the baby sitter. E.g., don't bring her with a
poopy diaper every morning, if you can avoid it.

5. Any other tips and recommendations? I'll be very, very thankful
for any information you're willing to share.

You absolutely need emergency babysitter plans for when the babysitter's
sick, her kid is sick, you're sick and your kid is sick. You also need
backup plans if it turns out that you don't want to keep child with the new
babysitter.

Jeff

Thank you in advance for all replies!

wrote in message
oups.com...
1. How to introduce the baby to the babysitter? The babysitter is just
someone I found through an ad online, we haven't even met much.

I'd suggest you and your baby spend time together with the babysitter at
first. That way, you can see how they interact and take it from there.

2. What kind of items will the babysitter need to care for my baby
(besides the regular set - diapers, bottles, etc.)?

The same things you need to care for your baby - expressed breastmilk, food,
changes of clothes, diaper cream, sunscreen, etc. As for the crib, maybe you
could see how it works out with the mattress and if all goes well, don't
worry about it. If you find you need a crib, maybe get a pack-n-play or
something.

3. Day schedule - it is wise to ask a babysitter to stick to some kind
of schedule (feeding, sleep)? I don't really feed her by the clock
these days, more on demand (she's breastfed) but obviously I'll have to
give up breastfeeding when I start working.

I wouldn't. At this age, it's probably best she eats when she needs to eat
and sleeps when she needs to sleep.

I assume you'll still be breastfeeding in the evenings and weekends. You
might find she feeds more when she's with you than when you're at work. Is
she OK taking a bottle? My DD never would and drank from a sippy cup. Even
then, she preferred the milk directly from the source, so she made up for
lost time in the evenings.

4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment.

You definitely need to find out what the babysitter plans to do all day.
Just ask her what the day will involve. If her ideas don't match your own,
I'd find another sitter, or if you really have your heart set on this one,
you need to explain what is acceptable and what is not.

It seems like you've selected this babysitter without really shopping
around. I don't know if that's true or not, but it might not hurt to look
into some other babysitters too, for comparison.

Lucy

On Tue, 14 Jun 2005 16:27:54 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

In article ,
Nan wrote:


4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

Frankly, I think a sitter shouldn't have a "personal life" when
they're watching my child. Since you're not comfortable with her
taking your child on errands, you need to be up front. She'll need to
adjust her errand-running just like other parents do.... by doing it
after she's done working.
Some parents don't mind having a sitter cart their child around on
personal business, and that's fine, too. I just don't happen to be
one of them.

Actually, I think this is worth thinking about.

WHY do you not want her taking the baby grocery shopping or out running
errands? If she is running a largish day care, I could understand that
-- but if she's only going to have two babies, outings like the grocery
store and whatnot would not be difficult, and would break up the day,
both for her and for the babies.

Many babies thrive on this sort of active life -- out and about instead
of in the same house all day.

If you don't want her to do things like that, you have to be up front
about it -- but first make sure you are clear about WHY you don't want
her to be doing it.

My reasoning is this: Not only would my child have to run errands
with the sitter, but most likely with me, too. That is just too much
running around for my comfort level.
I don't mind special outings to the park, zoo, or whatnot. However, I
believe someone I'm paying to watch my child should be focused on
that, not what she/he needs to get done for her own benefit.

Nan

wrote:

1. How to introduce the baby to the babysitter? The babysitter is just
someone I found through an ad online, we haven't even met much.

Make sure and thoroughly check her out.

Does
it make sense let my girl stay with the babysitter a few times for a
few hours before I dive into work and she has to be there all day
long?

Yes. I introduced mine with a short 30-60 minute meeting with me there the
whole time and then I left them for lengthening periods of time until we
were up to the regular schedule.

2. What kind of items will the babysitter need to care for my baby
(besides the regular set - diapers, bottles, etc.)?

I left a car-seat and extra sets of clothing. I also had cards with all
pertinent information on them as far as full name, parents name, contact
numbers, doctors name, allergies, etc. The providers always had all the
other stuff. I had to send food to one place. I would not worry about a
crib. I did provide one of my providers with a pack-in-play but only
because I had an extra. If you don't the provider will have or make
accomidations.

3. Day schedule - it is wise to ask a babysitter to stick to some kind
of schedule (feeding, sleep)?

I had mine feed/sleep on demand but the providers did fall into a schedule.
I did let them know how our days went at home so they had an idea what the
babies were used to.

but obviously I'll have
to give up breastfeeding when I start working.

Not at all. I breastfed both of mine even though I worked full-time. I
pumped while I was at work and fed them that and had to supplement #2 with
formula while I was at work. I quit pumping when #1 was 10mos and #2 was 12
months but continued to breastfeed both.

4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

I would interview her. Ask her how she plans to run the day. Have a few
questions down so you can ask her how she deals with them. For instance how
does she handle nap time (rock - just lay them down etc. - allow them to cry
or will not allow it), does she require naps at a certain time, does she go
outside, what kinds of activities does she do, does she have toys?, will
she/can she walk a kid around and/or hold them a lot etc.. You want her
philosphy to match yours. Tell her what your expectations are (write them
all down) and ask her if she can meet them or if she is comfortable with
them.

5. Any other tips and recommendations?

What is the plan if your child is sick? What is the plan if she is sick?
Does she have children? What is the plan if her kids are sick? These were
all things that you need to have figured out in advance if she is a home
provider.

--
Nikki

1. About a month before I left my daughter with her sitter, we would
visit every couple days just for an hour or so, I would stay as well.
Then for 2 weeks before I left her there every second afternoon by
herself. I was very comfortable leaving DD at that point and she was
loving it there!

2. DD sleeps in a pack and play in the sitters spare bedroom. The
other boy sleeps in a seperate p&p in the same room. The sitters son
sleeps in his own crib. When the sitter has company she can just put
away the p&p's. If your DD is used to sleeping on a mattress, and the
room is completely child proofed so she is unable to get into trouble
if she doesn't sleep right away or wakes up undetected, I would just do
that. That's what larger care centres here do.

At the sitters house we leave a blanket, diapers, wipes, bum cream,
toothpaste, toothbrush, hairbrush, and some bibs. That way we're not
lugging everything back and forth all the time. Our sitter also has an
extra high chair, if you have a small one you can bring that along.
Since the sitter has a baby, she should have most other things
associated with caring for one!

3. My daughter has one schedule with us, and another with the sitter.
The sitter gradually changed them all to the same schedule so they eat
breakfast at 8, have milk at 10, lunch at 11:30, nap from 1-3, then
snack, then outside again. There really is no need to give up
breastfeeding, as long as your baby will take a bottle at sitters you
can breastfeed her at home.

4. I have no idea. My baby sitter doesn't take the kids to the store
or anything, she does it after her work hours just like you have to.
She takes them outside all morning, and again after afternoon snack
(weather permitting), she doesn't have a TV around where the kids are
most of the time. If you call or visit and are always hearing the TV,
chances are your DD will be watching it all the time. Ask her if she
expects to take your DD out, then she would need the appropriate car
seat and all that stuff.

5. Nutrition was important to me. I interviewed one girl who fed her
then 11 month old chicken fingers and fries mostly. According to her,
she stopped giving him veggies. DD gets lots of fruit, veggies, and
healthy foods. She does get the occassional chicken nugget or other
treat, but it's rare!

Receipts was also important since in Canada we can claim it on our
income tax as long as receipts are provided and the sitter gives us
their Social Insurance #.

I also asked about toys and activities. Coloring, toy rotation, etc.
were all factors. They also attempt to make cards and stuff for
special occassions.

Make sure your sitter's house is clean and you are welcome to drop by
at any time.

We keep a daily journal back and forth. The babysitter writes down if
DD had a bm, what she ate for breakfast, lunch & snack, what times she
slept, and if there was an incident like a fall or a scratch, or the
rare biting (ack!). she writes that in. I really love my sitter!

That's about all I can think of now!

dragonlady wrote:

In article ,
Nan wrote:


4. General issues - I don't know how to phrase this question
properly, but I would like to know what the babysitter is planning to
do with the baby and how she's going to adjust her life (shopping,
household duties, hobbies, etc.) to her childcare commitment. I
wouldn't like her to watch TV all day or take my child grocery
shopping - how should I start this topic with the babysitter without
too much interference in her personal life?

You can be pro-active about this and say - I'd like you to take the
baby for a walk each morning, or have some time outside or something
like that. Or just ask what she customarily does during the day with
the kids.

Frankly, I think a sitter shouldn't have a "personal life" when
they're watching my child. Since you're not comfortable with her
taking your child on errands, you need to be up front. She'll need to
adjust her errand-running just like other parents do.... by doing it
after she's done working.

Some parents don't mind having a sitter cart their child around on
personal business, and that's fine, too. I just don't happen to be
one of them.

Actually, I think this is worth thinking about.

WHY do you not want her taking the baby grocery shopping or out running
errands? If she is running a largish day care, I could understand that
-- but if she's only going to have two babies, outings like the grocery
store and whatnot would not be difficult, and would break up the day,
both for her and for the babies.

In some cases, the parent may not have a chance to find out what kind
of a driver the babysitter is. And she may not even have a license.
Or there may not be an extra car seat available.

But when my dd#2 had a nanny/babysitter, one of the things that she
needed to have done was to have the older child picked up at school
and taken to practice etc. So it would not be sensible to say that
she didn't want the child taken out in the car.

Many babies thrive on this sort of active life -- out and about instead
of in the same house all day.

If you don't want her to do things like that, you have to be up front
about it -- but first make sure you are clear about WHY you don't want
her to be doing it.

Nikki has given a good reason, but in that case, I'd have gone on
ahead and done my errands before I picked the kid up, and explained
why I was doing that. If she objected, then I'd say - either don't
take my kid on errands and I'll pick him up right after work.

grandma Rosalie