If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Fathers reunited website advice
With the increasing demise of the "family" and the growing number of
children who evetually lose contact with the father for whatever reason, perhaps there is something that can be of help. According to some statistics that i have read, after the parents have seperated, 60 percent of fathers lose contact with their children after 2 years, which amounts to hundreds of thousands of children going through life without knowledge of their father. I have spoken to many fathers who have lost contact with their children for all sorts of reasons and they all have their own story or versions of the event. Many say that they lose contact because at the onset of their seperation, they were not always in the position to fight for what they want at the time. This can be because of money to go to court with the solicitor's bills which they cant afford, they have nowhere decent to live and they also experience a total lack of confidence and depression. I find that a lot of men simply give up going through the courts year after year for these reasons because they don't get anywhere and want to move on with their lives before it kills them. Also, the slow and grinding law system can take months to get going and during this time the Bond between the father and especially young toddlers is broken. I have a friend who eventually got contact with his child, who was only a toddler, after nearly a year apart from him and the father was shocked at how much of a stranger the child was to him. Basically, some fathers who have given up with the legal system and have moved on with their lives, often get to a point (maybe 2 years later) where they are more in control of their emotions, finance, accomodation and perhaps have another partner. This can take a long time with some people but once they feel better about themselves they then feel more confident in trying to re-astablish contact again. This is often met with negativity from the mother who thinks that he should have done it earlier, which is a good argument but perhaps dont realise that he wasn't capable at that time. Anyway, the father often loses out again and never has the chance to explain why he couldn't do what was expected of him at the time of the breakup. The children then grow up with a resentment towards the father for not doing enough or that he had run away, which is not always the case. I have bought a few website domains called Fathers Reunited which i was thiking of developing into a website for fathers who have lost contact with their children and would like to put their own story on. They could give their own account of why they lost touch and also a contact for the children,if interested, for them to get in touch again. The website could include a picture of themselves and message to their child about how they feel and an ongoing account of their life which can be updated at any time. Some children who want to find out about their dad, but cannot talk to mum about it, could log on to this site and find out a bit about him before talking to mum and upsetting her. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Fathers reunited website advice
On Mar 29, 9:54 am, wrote:
With the increasing demise of the "family" and the growing number of children who evetually lose contact with the father for whatever reason, perhaps there is something that can be of help. According to some statistics that i have read, after the parents have seperated, 60 percent of fathers lose contact with their children after 2 years, which amounts to hundreds of thousands of children going through life without knowledge of their father. I have spoken to many fathers who have lost contact with their children for all sorts of reasons and they all have their own story or versions of the event. Many say that they lose contact because at the onset of their seperation, they were not always in the position to fight for what they want at the time. This can be because of money to go to court with the solicitor's bills which they cant afford, they have nowhere decent to live and they also experience a total lack of confidence and depression. I find that a lot of men simply give up going through the courts year after year for these reasons because they don't get anywhere and want to move on with their lives before it kills them. Also, the slow and grinding law system can take months to get going and during this time the Bond between the father and especially young toddlers is broken. I have a friend who eventually got contact with his child, who was only a toddler, after nearly a year apart from him and the father was shocked at how much of a stranger the child was to him. Basically, some fathers who have given up with the legal system and have moved on with their lives, often get to a point (maybe 2 years later) where they are more in control of their emotions, finance, accomodation and perhaps have another partner. This can take a long time with some people but once they feel better about themselves they then feel more confident in trying to re-astablish contact again. This is often met with negativity from the mother who thinks that he should have done it earlier, which is a good argument but perhaps dont realise that he wasn't capable at that time. Anyway, the father often loses out again and never has the chance to explain why he couldn't do what was expected of him at the time of the breakup. The children then grow up with a resentment towards the father for not doing enough or that he had run away, which is not always the case. I have bought a few website domains called Fathers Reunited which i was thiking of developing into a website for fathers who have lost contact with their children and would like to put their own story on. They could give their own account of why they lost touch and also a contact for the children,if interested, for them to get in touch again. The website could include a picture of themselves and message to their child about how they feel and an ongoing account of their life which can be updated at any time. Some children who want to find out about their dad, but cannot talk to mum about it, could log on to this site and find out a bit about him before talking to mum and upsetting her. WOW! Great IDEA! Actually, last year I did a spreadsheet with all the different information dads could put on a website such as this, because I think you are exactly right in what happens to dads and children. I saw it in my own uncle and 35+ years later, it is hearbreaking to see how his children, especially his daughter, do not want to have anything to do with him or evern give him the opportunity for an explanation. From what I hear, 35 years ago, his child support was set at almost 600USD a MONTH!!! Eventually, it was taken down to 50USD a week, which is 216, however, remember this was 35 years ago!!! There was no way he could make those payments...I remember many times going to my grandmother's house because my uncle was going to pick up his kids and then he would return to the house with no kids...because the ex wife had decided to take off that day and they were nowhere to be found...this continuously happened...and yet, the ex-wife still to this day believes this was perfectly ok because if he couldn't afford the 600USD a month (35 years ago), then he shouldn't have had a right to see his children...it was disgusting. With that said, I support you 100%... |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Fathers reunited website advice
On 29 Mar, 16:15, "whatamess" wrote:
On Mar 29, 9:54 am, wrote: With the increasing demise of the "family" and the growing number of children who evetually lose contact with the father for whatever reason, perhaps there is something that can be of help. According to some statistics that i have read, after the parents have seperated, 60 percent of fathers lose contact with their children after 2 years, which amounts to hundreds of thousands of children going through life without knowledge of their father. I have spoken to many fathers who have lost contact with their children for all sorts of reasons and they all have their own story or versions of the event. Many say that they lose contact because at the onset of their seperation, they were not always in the position to fight for what they want at the time. This can be because of money to go to court with the solicitor's bills which they cant afford, they have nowhere decent to live and they also experience a total lack of confidence and depression. I find that a lot of men simply give up going through the courts year after year for these reasons because they don't get anywhere and want to move on with their lives before it kills them. Also, the slow and grinding law system can take months to get going and during this time the Bond between the father and especially young toddlers is broken. I have a friend who eventually got contact with his child, who was only a toddler, after nearly a year apart from him and the father was shocked at how much of a stranger the child was to him. Basically, some fathers who have given up with the legal system and have moved on with their lives, often get to a point (maybe 2 years later) where they are more in control of their emotions, finance, accomodation and perhaps have another partner. This can take a long time with some people but once they feel better about themselves they then feel more confident in trying to re-astablish contact again. This is often met with negativity from the mother who thinks that he should have done it earlier, which is a good argument but perhaps dont realise that he wasn't capable at that time. Anyway, the father often loses out again and never has the chance to explain why he couldn't do what was expected of him at the time of the breakup. The children then grow up with a resentment towards the father for not doing enough or that he had run away, which is not always the case. I have bought a few website domains called Fathers Reunited which i was thiking of developing into a website for fathers who have lost contact with their children and would like to put their own story on. They could give their own account of why they lost touch and also a contact for the children,if interested, for them to get in touch again. The website could include a picture of themselves and message to their child about how they feel and an ongoing account of their life which can be updated at any time. Some children who want to find out about their dad, but cannot talk to mum about it, could log on to this site and find out a bit about him before talking to mum and upsetting her. WOW! Great IDEA! Actually, last year I did a spreadsheet with all the different information dads could put on a website such as this, because I think you are exactly right in what happens to dads and children. I saw it in my own uncle and 35+ years later, it is hearbreaking to see how his children, especially his daughter, do not want to have anything to do with him or evern give him the opportunity for an explanation. From what I hear, 35 years ago, his child support was set at almost 600USD a MONTH!!! Eventually, it was taken down to 50USD a week, which is 216, however, remember this was 35 years ago!!! There was no way he could make those payments...I remember many times going to my grandmother's house because my uncle was going to pick up his kids and then he would return to the house with no kids...because the ex wife had decided to take off that day and they were nowhere to be found...this continuously happened...and yet, the ex-wife still to this day believes this was perfectly ok because if he couldn't afford the 600USD a month (35 years ago), then he shouldn't have had a right to see his children...it was disgusting. With that said, I support you 100%...- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Cheers Whatamess. i have been toying with this idea for a couple of years now and i think that if it became popular, like friends reunited (by the way, it would list on the same page as friends reunited) it could definately be a usefull tool for kids to look up their dads without having to ask Mummy. Any father who has lost touch with their kids always have a lot they want to say. By using such a website, they could pour their hearts out and maybe encourage contact. If i could be responsible for one little girl getting to know who her father is without the mother going nuts and ruining everything, then it would be worth it! one day, children will all have small computers with them at school etc, just like mobile phones, and they will all know this website and then the selfish mothers who stop contact wil be powerless to stop them knowing their father. So many mothers say "the child can make thier own minds up when they are older" but, by then it is too bloody late!! Your inspiration has pushed me a bit further in doing this, thanx. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Unique or is it... advice wanted from fathers | [email protected] | Child Support | 4 | October 9th 06 11:03 PM |
Website for Fathers , Dads , (also moms to ) | Whizadre | Solutions | 0 | January 25th 06 09:46 AM |
Siblings separated by foster care reunited by Joel's Hope | wexwimpy | Foster Parents | 0 | May 24th 04 06:44 PM |
not so good advice on a website | elizabeth emerald | Breastfeeding | 11 | March 8th 04 06:13 AM |
Father and Son Reunited After "Decade of Hell | dani | Child Support | 0 | September 19th 03 07:51 AM |