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#11
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DOes it?
interspersed and stuff
"Joelle" wrote in message ... | | That is going to have to stop. Whatever it takes. Is there medication? | Therapy? You have to figure out a way not to get angry with the kids. | They've lost their mom. They may even feel like it's their fault, you being | angry is only going to enforce that. Aye, I know. I haven't the money for my meds, I was on Paxil for a while early last year, and it HELPED. Big. I got my ex to sign off on the house, and I'm refinancing, which will take some pressure off financially. One of my priorities should be to get back on it, eh?g | | Okay, don't make any decisions for awhile...but if you seriously cannot handle | these children without subjecting them to your anger, is there someone else who | can take them for awhile? My (ex) MIL lives next door, and watches the kids when I'm working. She'd take them any time, but HER mother lives with her, and the woman is harsh beyond words. I avoid leaving them there unless i have no choice, but you're right, at any rate. I need to explore my options in this area. | | people at work tell me I should date. | | They are full of ****. You absolutely have no business dating. Even if you | didn't have the kids, you are poor relationship material right now. Do not | date. Your kids need your FULL attention. Hmm....no, really, tell me how you feel about this, I want to know! eg Thanks for your time. I really think I've got a pretty good grip on this, but the anger and hurt and frustration just comes boiling out of nowhere some days. billy |
#12
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DOes it?
On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 23:52:38 -0400, "Paul Fritz"
wrote: "Joelle" wrote in message ... You may find the people on here a little idealist. WHat the hell are you talking about? There are no idealists here, there are real flesh and blood people who have been through this and know what they are talking about. I was going to comment earlier, but I thought I;d already stirred the pot enough.......idealists.....hell no.......realists.....different story. People here don;t put up with the 'woe is me" crap. Actually I do put up with the woe is me crap. I think people need to purge a goodly amount of woe is me to get on track and this is a good place to do it. When woe is me is someone's overall outlook on life and they suck everyone around them under while they're at it, such as in Bebelestrenge's (sp) situation, then I say something. lm |
#13
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DOes it?
"Dinky" wrote in message ink.net... Does it ever go away? The pain, the anger, the confusion at having been abandoned by the one person in the world whom you most trusted? I was never sure I wanted children in the first place. I did it because having children made her happy. I bought her a house. I bought her a new car. Everything I did for her and now she's gone and I'm left with 4 girls I'm not fit to care for and bills I cannot pay. How do so many people survive this?????????????????? -- billy One day at a time. Don't even think about the next few years, just think about today. If you can't afford the meds you need, talk to a state program and see what they can do. If your finances are that bad off, you might get help with your meds. Dating? What the hell makes you think you should be dating? If you don't want to date, why date? Society makes us think we need to have a partner in order to be normal or some ****. Dating is the last thing you should do to the kids. Bring strange women around the kids won't help at all. Going out without the kids every weekend won't help either. T |
#14
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DOes it?
"Dinky" wrote in message link.net... interspersed and stuff "Joelle" wrote in message ... | | That is going to have to stop. Whatever it takes. Is there medication? | Therapy? You have to figure out a way not to get angry with the kids. | They've lost their mom. They may even feel like it's their fault, you being | angry is only going to enforce that. Aye, I know. I haven't the money for my meds, I was on Paxil for a while early last year, and it HELPED. Big. I got my ex to sign off on the house, and I'm refinancing, which will take some pressure off financially. One of my priorities should be to get back on it, eh?g | | Okay, don't make any decisions for awhile...but if you seriously cannot handle | these children without subjecting them to your anger, is there someone else who | can take them for awhile? My (ex) MIL lives next door, and watches the kids when I'm working. She'd take them any time, but HER mother lives with her, and the woman is harsh beyond words. I avoid leaving them there unless i have no choice, but you're right, at any rate. I need to explore my options in this area. | | people at work tell me I should date. | | They are full of ****. You absolutely have no business dating. Even if you | didn't have the kids, you are poor relationship material right now. Do not | date. Your kids need your FULL attention. Hmm....no, really, tell me how you feel about this, I want to know! eg Thanks for your time. I really think I've got a pretty good grip on this, but the anger and hurt and frustration just comes boiling out of nowhere some days. billy The thing to is the moment you start thinking about the ex or the problems, focus on something else, if you dwell on it, it just makes it worse. If a song on the radio triggers a memory, change the channel. In time, the pain will be less and less to the point where it won't bother you. Be positive......it is her loss, not yours. |
#15
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DOes it?
Subject: DOes it?
From: lm Date: 4/28/2004 7:02 AM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 23:52:38 -0400, "Paul Fritz" wrote: "Joelle" wrote in message ... You may find the people on here a little idealist. WHat the hell are you talking about? There are no idealists here, there are real flesh and blood people who have been through this and know what they are talking about. I was going to comment earlier, but I thought I;d already stirred the pot enough.......idealists.....hell no.......realists.....different story. People here don;t put up with the 'woe is me" crap. lm wrote: Actually I do put up with the woe is me crap. I think people need to purge a goodly amount of woe is me to get on track and this is a good place to do it. I agree that a support group is a good place to get it out on the table. Look at it from others point of view, yes absolutely, but to have people you don't know and really do not know you tell you you are a piece of **** parent because of your past mistakes that you have made for what ever reason, has permanently damaged your child and that what you are doing to change the hurts and make a difference in both your own life and your childs life is selfish and "all about you" really blows me away. I didn't have to open my at one time crappy existence to anyone? I chose to share what I did to be understood better. I failed yes, I do not want to fail anymore , I have worked hard to fill in the cracks that happened in my emotional fall. I am not the same person today . I am proud of what we have as a family, how we support one another and work together to be happy and healthy today. It is working for us , I am grateful for the help we have been given through the medical profession. When things go atray for families as it did for us, there is all kinds of caring , helpful organisations , therapists , and people that truelly care about the family surviving tragic events that create mental health situations. I just don't understand what happened here and am very sorry I can not participate in this group as my family and I continue to try to do what is right for us. I wish this turned out differently. When woe is me is someone's overall outlook on life and they suck everyone around them under while they're at it, such as in Bebelestrenge's (sp) situation, then I say something. This is such a bunch of crap...... where do I have such an outlook on life? I don't and this is just so far from what is true . I have a great outlook on the future for myself and family. There is no one being hurt by the situation in our home. Our houshold runs well, organised and with much love and concern for the children in it. We are doing the right thing and that is all. B lm |
#16
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DOes it?
WHOOOOOSH
"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message ... Subject: DOes it? From: lm Date: 4/28/2004 7:02 AM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 23:52:38 -0400, "Paul Fritz" wrote: "Joelle" wrote in message ... You may find the people on here a little idealist. WHat the hell are you talking about? There are no idealists here, there are real flesh and blood people who have been through this and know what they are talking about. I was going to comment earlier, but I thought I;d already stirred the pot enough.......idealists.....hell no.......realists.....different story. People here don;t put up with the 'woe is me" crap. lm wrote: Actually I do put up with the woe is me crap. I think people need to purge a goodly amount of woe is me to get on track and this is a good place to do it. I agree that a support group is a good place to get it out on the table. Look at it from others point of view, yes absolutely, but to have people you don't know and really do not know you tell you you are a piece of **** parent because of your past mistakes that you have made for what ever reason, has permanently damaged your child and that what you are doing to change the hurts and make a difference in both your own life and your childs life is selfish and "all about you" really blows me away. I didn't have to open my at one time crappy existence to anyone? I chose to share what I did to be understood better. I failed yes, I do not want to fail anymore , I have worked hard to fill in the cracks that happened in my emotional fall. I am not the same person today .. I am proud of what we have as a family, how we support one another and work together to be happy and healthy today. It is working for us , I am grateful for the help we have been given through the medical profession. When things go atray for families as it did for us, there is all kinds of caring , helpful organisations , therapists , and people that truelly care about the family surviving tragic events that create mental health situations. I just don't understand what happened here and am very sorry I can not participate in this group as my family and I continue to try to do what is right for us. I wish this turned out differently. When woe is me is someone's overall outlook on life and they suck everyone around them under while they're at it, such as in Bebelestrenge's (sp) situation, then I say something. This is such a bunch of crap...... where do I have such an outlook on life? I don't and this is just so far from what is true . I have a great outlook on the future for myself and family. There is no one being hurt by the situation in our home. Our houshold runs well, organised and with much love and concern for the children in it. We are doing the right thing and that is all. B lm |
#17
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DOes it?
Dating? What the hell makes you think you should be dating? If you don't
want to date, why date? Society makes us think we need to have a partner in order to be normal or some ****. Dating is the last thing you should do to the kids. Bring strange women around the kids won't help at all. Going out without the kids every weekend won't help either. T Says who? We all need a break. We can't all be devoted earth mothers/fathers. Dating isn't compulsory but eventually he will want to. Going out without the kids should be compulsory. |
#18
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DOes it?
Dating is the last thing you should do to
the kids Says who? People who know what they are talking about.l We all need a break. That's not the same as devoting energy that needs to be directed at the kids. There's only so much energy to allocate. Right now, the kids need all he can muster. We can't all be devoted earth mothers/fathers. I don't know what earth has to do with it, but I don't know why you can't be a devoted mother or father. but eventually he will want to. Sure, and after awhile, it will be right. But just because you want to do something doens't mean it's a good thing to do. Going out without the kids should be compulsory. Taking a break once in awhile to be with other adults, adult conversation, socializing, yes. Getting involved in a romantic relationship right now will take time, resources and energy from the kids - and they need it more. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#19
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DOes it?
"Joelle" wrote in message ... Dating is the last thing you should do to the kids Says who? People who know what they are talking about.l We all need a break. That's not the same as devoting energy that needs to be directed at the kids. There's only so much energy to allocate. Right now, the kids need all he can muster. We can't all be devoted earth mothers/fathers. I don't know what earth has to do with it, but I don't know why you can't be a devoted mother or father. but eventually he will want to. Sure, and after awhile, it will be right. But just because you want to do something doens't mean it's a good thing to do. Going out without the kids should be compulsory. Taking a break once in awhile to be with other adults, adult conversation, socializing, yes. Getting involved in a romantic relationship right now will take time, resources and energy from the kids - and they need it more. Joelle Yeah, what she said. Thanks Joelle.... you saved me some energy. T |
#20
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DOes it?
"P.Fritz" wrote in message ... | | The thing to is the moment you start thinking about the ex or the problems, | focus on something else, if you dwell on it, it just makes it worse. If a Easier said than done, but true enough. aside Wonderful. Bottom posting is annoying enough, couple that with the apparent "no snipping" rule in this group...wow..eg /me ducks billy |
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