kids and their furniture?

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..
Stephanie wrote:
Honestly, I go with D, none of the above. I don't think a host *should*
ask someone to remove their clothing.

Miss Manners agrees with you, and I do think it is a
hardship to some guests to be asked to remove their shoes.

It may be a hardship to the host, as well, should the guest happen to have a
bad case of foot odor g!
--
Be well, Barbara

toypup wrote:
"Barbara" wrote in message
ups.com...

Without asking first? Depends on the circumstances. At a cocktail
party, sure. But if I was bringing my son over for a playdate? I
wouldn't consider that much evidence -- lots of people walk around in
socks or barefoot in their own homes but don't want or expect others to
do so. Maybe that would be one where you might ask.


Maybe, but I was guessing this because Ericka said she gets by without
asking much by following the host's lead. Ericka, where are you?

Busy day ;-) I do walk around barefoot in my house
a lot, but don't have any problem with people wearing shoes
in my house. People do ask me a lot if they should take off
their shoes. It doesn't bother me that they ask. I am
squeamish about asking because, as I said in another post,
to me it's like asking someone if they want me to chew with
my mouth open at their dinner table ;-) However, I just
make my best judgement call. If it's a playdate, the host
has no shoes, but there aren't obvious signs of a household
with a no shoes rule, I'll ask or make my best guess based
on what else I know about the person (did they take their
shoes off when visiting my house? is there unstained white
carpeting? did I have to walk through some of the ubiquitous
VA red clay that stains *EVERYTHING* and won't come out?).
If it's, say, a cocktail party, I'm probably
going to keep my shoes on unless I see that everyone at
the party is shoeless.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Stephanie wrote:

Honestly, I go with D, none of the above. I don't think a host *should* ask
someone to remove their clothing.

Miss Manners agrees with you, and I do think it is a
hardship to some guests to be asked to remove their shoes.

Best wishes,
Ericka

bizby40 wrote:
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..

bizby40 wrote:


It's not about the work. It's about how after 17 years
I still can't seem to anticipate the desires of this *one*
person, trying as hard as I possibly can. How then can
I anticipate the desires of *everyone* out there, especially
when their desires often conflict with each other, and most
especially when they won't tell me what they are?


A level of caution that would
be inappropriate and silly in a marital relationship
*is* appropriate in a host-guest relationship.


I'm not asking about the appropriateness. I'm giving
an example of how I can try as hard as I can to anticipate
the desires of another person and still fail at it. Given that,
I just don't see how I can anticipate the desires of the rest
of the world all that accurately.

I just don't think you have to do all that
much predicting. Take the book lending example I
mentioned elsewhere. I don't assume anything about
what the person expects. I simply hold myself to
the highest standard that doesn't seem ludicrous
for caring for that book. My *goal* is for my
standard to exceed the standard of care for
nearly everyone--not just the average person,
not just someone mostly like me, but nearly
everyone.
Now, in the course of interacting with
someone and their stuff, I'll likely get all
sorts of information that lets me know where
*their* personal standards of care are, and
maybe I'll take that into account and loosen
my standards for how to treat someone else's
stuff a bit, though often I won't because it's
a different thing when the owner damages something
and when a guest does.
As an example of what I think is very
nice borrowing behavior: Several years ago, a friend
had an emergency where she had to get a guest to
the airport, but something had happened to her
car (can't recall what). So, very embarrassed,
she asked if she could borrow mine so that she
could get the guest to the airport. I said she
was welcome to it. She returned it a couple
hours later, sparkling clean! She'd taken it
to the carwash and had them clean it inside and
out (and had recalled from a previous conversation
that that was one of the places we occasionally
took our cars). Now, she didn't have to do that,
and it wouldn't have been rude of her to return
it simply in the same condition I'd given it to
her, but it was *such* a pleasant surprise to get
it back that way, and also that she'd taken the
trouble to know that we would be okay with
the place she took it (we're not fussy about that
sort of thing, but some people are *very* fussy
about carwashes and would freak if someone took
their car through an automatic carwash). I want
to be *that* kind of friend, whenever possible,
not the kind that threw cars across the room, even
if it was done with good intentions. I can't be
perfect at that. It's just what I want to do, so
that's where I put the effort and I try to take
as much responsibility for achieving that as
possible, rather than relying on others to warn
me off stuff.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Barbara wrote:
Ericka Kammerer wrote:
SNIP

I'm trying to develop a taste for iced tea, but
just can't seem to manage it so far.


This is something I've never really understood. Why would you WANT to
develop a taste for something that is thus far distasteful to you? In
college, people used to tell me that if I would just keep drinking
beer, eventually I'd get used to the taste. I could never figure out
why I'd want to.

This is a serious question ... and one that is so much easier to pose
on the 'net than IRL.

Well, until I was in college, I didn't drink coffee
*or* tea *or* iced tea. Guess what is usually served at a
lot of events unless you want to hunt down the cash bar? ;-)
My mom doesn't drink coffee or tea of any sort and fairly
often finds herself in a situation where that's all there
is to drink besides water. Now, it's hardly the end of the
earth to drink only water (often I prefer it). But sometimes
I'd like a little something more and would like to say "yes"
to a glass of iced tea and enjoy it. I live in VA, so *lots*
of people drink iced tea and offer it to their guests.
I figure I like hot tea, so why wouldn't I like
iced tea? Lately, I've been trying to determine if I
don't like iced tea just because it's usually crappy tea.
Maybe iced tea made from good tea would taste better.
I've never been much for alcohol of any sort.
Someday, I would also like to acquire a taste for wine.
Lots of people seem to really enjoy wine and learning
about wine and exploring different kinds of wine. I
think it would be fun. I didn't used to like strong
cheeses, but over time I've come to really enjoy them.
I think a lot of really good foods are acquired tastes.
I don't think I could ever acquire a taste for coffee,
but I think maybe I could acquire a taste for iced tea ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

Circe wrote:
"Stephanie" wrote in message
news:9PMGf.12648$Qb.7762@trndny07...

"Circe" wrote in message
news:5zMGf.24831$sA3.4323@fed1read02...

So for me, iced tea is a change-up from ice water!


I'm like that as well, I don't care for soda. I drink almost exclusively
water. When I get a hankering for something else, I add a little lemon to
my water.


Now, see, I'm definitely odd in this respect because I DO NOT LIKE lemon in
my ice water. I know many (most?) other people do, though. And it's not that
I don't like lemons--I used to win the lemon-sucking-without-making-a-face
contests when I was a kid--but I want my water (or my iced tea) unleaded,
thank you!

I like lemon in my water, but not in my tea. What
drives my mom nuts is when she asks for lemon and gets a
lime instead! You'd be surprised how many restaurant
servers do that, as if they're interchangable. She *hates*
lime.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Thu, 9 Feb 2006 11:17:45 -0800, "Circe" wrote:

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Circe wrote:
I'm that way about my ICED tea (which I know is anathema to the Brits and
Irish, anyway g).

I'm trying to develop a taste for iced tea, but
just can't seem to manage it so far.

The reason I like iced tea is because I am not a fan of sweet and/or
carbonated cold drinks, although I'll drink them on rare occasions, and I've
long since lost the taste for milk. If it weren't for iced tea, I'd be
drinking almost nothing but water (well, and beer, but that doesn't quite
count!) and while that's probably an entirely healthy thing to do, it does
get rather tedious after a while. So for me, iced tea is a change-up from
ice water!

I love iced Chai actually.

ICED CHAI

Ingredients needed:

* 7 cups water
* 3 darjeeling tea bags
* 4 slices fresh ginger (thickly sliced)
* 1 vanilla bean, cut into 1-inch pieces
* 1 cinnamon stick
* 2 bay leaves
* 1 cup milk
* 2 tablespoons honey


Bring the water to a boil in a saucepan; add the tea through the bay
leaves and simmer 5 minutes, adding milk near the end of the simmering
time. Stir in the honey. Remove from the heat; cover and let steep 3
minutes. Strain to remove the spices. Chill and serve over ice.

Indian Iced Chai Serves 8 to 10

3 cups water
1/2 cup honey
10 cinnamon sticks
5 whole cloves, crushed
3 cardamom pods, crushed
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
6 cups cold milk
15 Indian Chai tea bags
1 cup white rum

In a medium saucepan, bring the water and honey to a boil, stirring to
dissolve the honey. Add cinnamon sticks, cloves, cardamom pods and
black pepper. Cool mixture to room temperature and strain into a glass
pitcher. Add vanilla extract, milk and tea bags to the pitcher and
stir to combine. Refrigerate overnight. The next morning, remove the
tea bags, squeeze them over the pitcher and discard. When ready to
serve, stir in the rum (I drank it virgin). Add ice and stir to
combine. You can garnish with cinnamon sticks if you like.

and Lassi (sweetened yogurt drink)

INGREDIENTS
1 1/4 cups plain yogurt
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 cup fresh mango pulp
1/3 cup cold water
4 tablespoons honey or sugar
9-10 standard-size ice cubes.

Blend everything but the ice cubes in the blender until the sugar or
honey is dissolved. Add the ice and blend until frothy!


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
So, what do you do if someone loans you their
bicycle? Do they need to tell you if they don't want
it taken off road, through the stream, and returned
muddy? Or is it your responsibility to tell them
your intention is to take it off road so that they
can voice any concerns about that?

I think most people would say why they need to borrow a bike. You could
then loan it or not. If it was meant to be used roughly, at least clean it
up before returning it.

If someone loans
you their fine crystal for a party, do they have to
tell you they don't want it in the dishwasher, or
should you tell them if it's your intention to put
it in the dishwasher?

I think most people would ask, since it's fine china; but regular
dinnerware, I don't think most people would ask.

If you're going to house
sit for someone, is it your responsibility to ask
if it's okay for you to bring your dog or have a
party? Or do they have to give you a list of
dos and don'ts?

That's just silly.

On Thu, 09 Feb 2006 21:56:53 GMT, Rosalie B.
wrote:

toto wrote:

On Wed, 08 Feb 2006 02:19:07 GMT, Rosalie B.
wrote:

toto wrote:

On Tue, 7 Feb 2006 22:12:21 +0000 (UTC), Penny Gaines
wrote:

I can't remember ever having a fuss made about it, but using the
score card that came with a game was just something we didn't
do, growing up. We just used some scrap paper instead.

Interesting. Why would you not use it?

I felt the same way to an extent. It is because there is a finite
amount of the score cards or whatever, and when it runs out (before
the days when everyone had access to a copier), then you will have to
use scrap paper and it is a lot easier to use scrap paper if you have
a clean example sheet to go by. It isn't necessary for things like
bridge scores where you can go buy the pads at any stationary store
(or at least you used to be able to - I haven't tried in some time).

I guess I might not use the *last* one if it was being kept as an
example, but I can't see leaving the whole pad for that purpose.

Oh, well. Different strokes.

You might not use the last one, but some other more clueless person
might. So we keep those precious score pads for those people so the
last sheet doesn't ever get used g

See I would hide the last one away somewhere and then use it as a
model after the other were gone. Of course, I also remember being
able to buy the score pads even when I was younger.

grandma Rosalie


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

toypup wrote:
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...

So, what do you do if someone loans you their
bicycle? Do they need to tell you if they don't want
it taken off road, through the stream, and returned
muddy? Or is it your responsibility to tell them
your intention is to take it off road so that they
can voice any concerns about that?

I think most people would say why they need to borrow a bike. You could
then loan it or not. If it was meant to be used roughly, at least clean it
up before returning it.

I think there are people who would think that the
purpose of a bike is to go on bike rides and would think
that it's perfectly normal not to be restricted to
paved bike trails, and wouldn't think twice about an
intention to do otherwise. I rather suspect that it's
no less common than kids crashing their Matchbox cars ;-)

If someone loans
you their fine crystal for a party, do they have to
tell you they don't want it in the dishwasher, or
should you tell them if it's your intention to put
it in the dishwasher?

I think most people would ask, since it's fine china; but regular
dinnerware, I don't think most people would ask.

Again, you think most people would ask, but
I suspect there are a bunch of people who wouldn't
know, wouldn't care, and wouldn't ask. I think
that it takes only a moment to ask how the owner
chooses to care for something *especially* because
there's always the possibility that you don't know
something about the appropriate way to care for it.
It only takes a moment to say, "Anything particular I
should know about care and cleaning?" even if it is
just the everyday stuff.

If you're going to house
sit for someone, is it your responsibility to ask
if it's okay for you to bring your dog or have a
party? Or do they have to give you a list of
dos and don'ts?

That's just silly.

It's been done before!

Best wishes,
Ericka