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Woman adopted at age 4 fosters children herself
Woman adopted at age 4 fosters children herself
By ERIN KELLY LAKE CHARLES, La. Easter Belizare was 4 years old when her daddy made a promise that he'd come back for her. He said he wouldn't be gone long, and he'd come back on a train. In elementary school, Easter's friends knew her mother had died and that the woman she lived with wasn't her real mama, but a foster parent. They knew that her father lived somewhere else, but Easter would always tell them about all the fun things they did together. They flew kites, she told them, and he would take her fishing. "I would tell all kinds of tall tales," Easter, now 70, said. "They were all telling stories about their daddies, and I wanted to have stories to tell, too." The truth was, she never saw her father again until she was 18 and he was dying in the hospital. At his bedside, she demanded to know why he gave her away, why he told people at the hospital he didn't have any children and, most of all, why he never came back on a train. "He said he didn't know how to do it all alone," she said. "He told people at the hospital he didn't have any kids because he never did anything for us, so he didn't deserve to call us his children." He died 30 minutes later, at her side. Easter married Joseph Belizare and had five daughters. They adopted one of their grandsons and, after all the girls were out of the house, they decided to become foster parents. Over the past 20 years, Easter and Joseph have provided a home for more than a dozen boys, including their current four - ages 10, 14, 16 and 17. "I understand them," Easter said. "I'm one of them." Easter welcomed the responsibility and the company of the boys, while Joseph worked around the clock. Her soft discipline has often perplexed her husband, who says she has "the patience of Job." Easter defends her tenderness with empathy. "I've had them say 'I hate you!' or 'Shut up!' I get angry, but I just sit back and be quiet. I know what they're going through. I had the same thoughts when I was their age," Easter says. "There's also a lot of them who just want to create drama, because that's all they know. "I'd watch how they treated their toys. They'd throw them against the wall, yell at them and throw them in the corner. They were playing out their lives. I didn't want that for them." When one of her boys refused to play recreational baseball, she signed him up anyway and told him to sit on the bench. He sat there, in his uniform, until the urge to play got the better of him, and he wandered onto the field. Trophies now adorn her living room bookcase. When she wanted one of her boys to learn how to swim, she took lessons too, even though she's terrified of water. When a 13-year-old begged her to keep him so he wouldn't have to go into a halfway house, she did. He promised to be good, and he was. He's now in the Marines and recently gave her a Mother's Day card with the inscription: "One day I will be able to repay all you have done for me." When the boys did things well, she rewarded them with pizza parties and trips to the movies. When they didn't do so well, she took away the television or the telephone. When one of her boys accidentally burned down the house, she didn't whip him for playing with matches. They moved, and he moved with them. She's shared her own stories over the years, so the boys know that she understands what it's like to feel unwanted. "Kids understand a lot, and they remember things more than adults realize," she said. "I was only 4 years old when my father left, and every time I hear a train whistle blow, I remember what he promised me. Even today." http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pb.../APN/405290675 Defend your civil liberties! Get information at http://www.aclu.org, become a member at http://www.aclu.org/join and get active at http://www.aclu.org/action. |
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