If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
Kate wrote: This isn't the first sign. This is years down the line and you're doing the same things and getting the same results. In fact, things are getting more complicated. You have another mouth to feed and a disinterested mother on your hands now. Why you ask? Yes , I asked for advice , I asked why?, little did I expect the answers I received. You who knows the history better than anyone have attacked me . I can take it, don't get me wrong, I even can agree with some of what *You feel* because of the history between us. Yes Kate I know...........It is o.k. that you want to tear me down for what I already tore myself down for. I came back a long way from the darkness I fell into when Gayle died. You are not telling me something I don't already know and that I haven't beat myself up enough for. I could not have become this responsible for my behavior and fall back then, at this time in my life If I didn't finally forgive myself for failing my daughter. I know where I have been and I came back because I loved my children enough to wake up and realise I was failing them. No one can possibly judge me as harshly as you just have for grieving , who said there was a right way to grieve ? You sure didn't during that years worth of comfort and support you offered me. People crash emotionally ,people do all the time, if a family therapist is what you say you wanna be then you need to start seeing this. Good strong parents fall under stress (except of course the perfect ones here) This is the kind of troubles you will be facing with some of the families you are going to deal with. My family is a perfect dysfunctional example of what the world is full of. I never denied this , so Pauls little dribble does not effect me. I came from dyfunction and yes I am not perfect and I am human. None of this should be a deciding factor on the kind of parent I may be. I work hard and support my family financially , emotionally and spiritually. I am proud that I came back from the depths of hell to be what I always tried to be for my kids. My fall had some good lessons for my daughters too ya know and they have said so themselves , do you think I don't talk to my kids about that , what happened to me ? Do you think my apology to them is not enough ? For them it is. I do and have and had family therapy with my daughter Sara who was the one there during my crash and fall. My young 15 yr. old child I so abused looked me in the face and said she understood and was proud of how I fought my way back to live this life . I do not need your acceptance to who I was then or who I am now. I have my daughters respect and she is not this angry , ragefull, child you remember from our conversations . You know what was going on in the begining of my grief and HERS. You know I was involved with many doctors and school personell and was present at the IEP meetings and helping to get to the core of my daughters issues.You know I was fighting tooth and nail for her , You knew it all ? I never lied to the people helping us they knew I would rather had been home hiding from my grief instead I sat in meetings with these people crying and apologising for the way I was. I fought the diagnosis of Manic depression and bi polar after trying the meds that did nothiong but put my child down to non functioning.Yes I was drinking then too but I was not , ignorant to my daughters issues and needs and YOU played a very important role in the strength I had back then . There was all kinds of professionals involved in our family from before Gayle died . I was sharp enough to know and challenge the drs refusal to see grief being the main important issue for my daughter , be it Gayles death and the loss of me who was pretty shot and struggling to maintain my own grief.There was not as much failure on my part as you portray in calling me a drunk and in saying I destroyed my daughter with selfishness. You can not condemn people who have mental and or emotional factors effecting their parenting , You know the incredible stressors that played a part in my fall, You know we lost our home, my job, there was no life insurance to sit back on, our savings were depleated long before Gayle died, you did not live my struggles to maintain an income and care for my dying partner and my child living in a hostile atmosphere , I was all about caring for my family , not myself , I have been so terribly unselfish in my actions for years that to be beaten with your words is almost laughable except I can not laugh at the thought that this you think will be helpful to hurting and troubled families? After Gayle died we were literally homeless , We slept on the couches in Gayles daughters apartment we survived that and I had just saved enough to get us in our own place and lost my job 2 months later. We survived on 1300.00 unemployment wages and C.S. ( go for it Paul!) for that first year in an apartment paying 675.oo a month in rent alone, I could not afford and yeah I know even the 5.oo a week to tie one on once a week was too much to spend but yeah I did. I functioned all week and on fridays got **** faced yep I did. Who can say they have never? If so good for you I am glad you have never been pushed to the edge. As a prospective therapist in my opinion, you really need to step back and re think your approach, cause if I was weak enough you could have really caused incredible harm to my family by shutting me down with guilt and grief again. That is not your job. To judge a families leadership in times of trouble. Your place is supporting them and helping them to be better , not blame, you can't blame, this is counter productive to healing and helping a family get better. The **** about all this Kate is you know this already ? you lived it with me that year? you supported me and helped me , and saved my life and even though what happened did, I never stopped knowing that. You won't talk to me privatly and that is fine, I respect your choice, but you opened this up here and I will not allow you to do this to me. I will not allow you to act as if you do not know more about me than what i shared briefly with these other self serving quick to condemn and judge self rightious non supportive idiots that think they got the number on parenting. For instance I read the pot smoking boys mothers post and all of you blamed her , people do not come to a support group to be beaten down and blamed, ya know they already do blame themselves what the best advice is for her is to seek a support group that deals with drug and alcohol abuse , embrace her family and seek professional help. Educate herself on the problem and get outside help. And NEVER NEVER come here again. ----------------- Kate wrote: Think about the times when your daughter needed love and support and you were busy. Think about her acting out and you were taking care of your own need to get numb to get through the day. Gee, is it any big wonder that your daughter has sought love from someone? This time it's a young man. Do you think for one minute that her choices will get any healthier? It was not like that ,you spoke to me everyday in e-mail,You of all people at that time knows what I did on a daily basis, the doctors appt, the counsiling, the school appt. the calls from the school , the difficulties iI was having that first year you act as if you have not known , You helped me to make some decisions when I could'nt think staright, when I could not sort it out , you helped me do it one step at a time , YOU told me I was a good mother to be doing all I was back then ? in my grief, why? If this is not what you truelly believed did you lie to me ? Yes she spent much time at her friends house , the girls, who's mother sent prepared food home to me and I have been grateful that people cared enough to be there for my daughter and for me and had compassion and care and understanding of our grief. My daughter has been searching for the affections of a male figure since she was 13 years old , not because of my grieving ,but because of many things, lets start with peer pressure, lets end with her father being an asshole. Jimmy came along and he was a ray of sunshine in her life, she calmed down , took pride in herself ,she cared about her appearance she went to school and she had begun to build her self esteem back.( I guess I sort of can relate to this kind of pick me up because of the changes in myself when Mari came along) they had been going steady for 8 months and had just told me they were gonna get married when they were 18 . I said O.K. Lets hope your dreams come true. Then shortly there after they came to me that they were pregnant. I went with what I knew. I went with what they said, and they did not want to abort or give up their child. I did what I feel was and is the right thing to do. I support them. Yeah I could of forced my daughter into making a terrible mistake and have an abotion , yeah I could have forced her to have the baby and give it away, That was not what my choice was and I do not regret my decision to support them. As much as I have to sacrifice to do this ,I had another 2-3 years to finish raising my own daughter and together she would learn the responsibility of her child. I stand by thier decision to keep thier child and as a family this can work. They could have taken the easy way out but they chose the long hard road. Again I stand by them. Do not condemn me or try to make me some sick ass woman that thinks this baby is hers. Far , far from the truth. This is my grandchild and I adore her yes and I will see that she has everything she needs and that includes good parents.Until these 16 year olds adjust,yes there is more on me . Untill they walk out my door able to give the baby an adult outlook and adult headset she belongs in an adults supervision. They still need an adults supervision. That is family to me and was as well to my dad that taught us family comes first . We are not harming this baby to keep her with her family. I am sorry for those people that think for one minute we would be doing this for any reason other than the love of Sara Jimmy and Jaime and to give them all a fighting chance to see thier own family stay together . This is what they want and I am willing to help them that is it. No underlying reason. ------------------ Kate wrote: Let me put it another way. You won't like this one as much as you didn't like the other but I will have my say and be done with this. Your daughter saw you in trouble. She saw you losing the will to live and harming yourself... she saw you escaping. She doesn't want to lose you. She tried everything to get your attention and make you see how much she needs you but nothing worked until she got pregnant. wrong Kate, she got pregnant 13 months ago. Gayle died Feb 3, 2001 thats 25 months after that Sara became pregnant and, and I stopped drinking shortly after you and I ended our "friendship"which was around the time you went skating and broke your arm , which was about 24 months ago.( give or take a month or two) Sara and I attended family counsiling for 6 months rebuilt our relationship Sara met Jimmy in the middle of that, our family life was pretty normal as normal is ? We were laughing more and celebrating more, we were coming out of the dark so to speak and I know we still have days that are hard , that grief seeps in and the difference is we are sharing those feelings now and not running and trying to hide our pain from one another. Sara had me back a year before this pregnancy and our home had been a secure and loving atmosphere . We rebuilt by this time and I disagree with your scenario of why? My daughter and her boyfriend decided they wanted a baby. That is why. ---------- She had your attention while she was pregnant yeah , she had much attention from everybody, most pregnant women do smile I remember. -------- but now the baby's here and you're focus is on the baby. Sorry, sounds good but this would be Mari, not me, I work all day and spend an hour here and there with the baby at my chioce until recently when the strange behaviour began with my daughter. Now I do more to try and help my daughter through what she is feeling, which is............... ready ? Postpartum Depression. Yep strange enough that no one here had the ability to see through thier want to condemn me as a parent and make this all about me. All about my daughter just being a lousy mother. Sara is suffering from a very common depression that she is even more susseptible to because she is already on meds for major depression her meds have been increased. Seems the levels of hormones changed because of the pregnancy and this was the result. As the responsible parent I am we saw the doctor about this behavior she has had, I am somewhat relieved that we know now what this is and we can deal with it without getting all crazy . It is scary but it is easier to deal with a known reason rather than a mystery. ------------- She gave you a reason to live... that she needs you. this has been my reason to live all my life. The baby was not her reason for me to live, I have been living since you decided I didn't need you anymore. I had to deal with the come back of that on my own too. ---------- That baby is here because of you to give you a reason to stick around. I have strong doubts that my daughter had this baby at this time in our lives to give me a reason for anything. I have maintained a secure job for 18 months , have been involved in a very compassionate relationship with someone that has the patience and unconditional love to embrace myself my daughter her boyfriend and my granddaughter and help us maintain a healthy outlook on our lives again. I have been happy again and this shines through to my daughter for heavens sakes I know you are mistaken . ----------- But you're screwing up, in her eyes... you're no longer focused on your daughter. The baby has taken your daughter's place so she's taking the baby away so that you will see *her* again. Post partum depression , I haven't screwed up , my focus is right where it needs to be , there is no replacement here, just an addition, I did bring my concerns here in hopes some good ideas would flourish , In hopes that I had gained a little respect to be treated with compassion, What I got was a bunch of bull**** shoved up my ass and I am glad I know how to deal with that. My daughter has decided she didn't know what was going on inside but it was not good and we went to the doctor and it is post partum depression. There will be no home change for the baby by my daughters recognition that she was not thinking straight. There is adult supervision enough to maintain an adult in the house 24/7. Her suffering from depression is again not reason to call the adoption agancy ........... or give up or blame me for a hormonal imbalance. ---------------- They aren't doing a good job of taking care of the baby even with your help. You said so yourself. No I do not recall saying that? I recall saying the daddy has been putting in more in the care department while my daughter slept and stared off into space. Verbalized how exhausted she was , and didn't think she was a very good mother? and yes we put more into the care for a while because we saw the need to. Things are getting back to a normal schedule for all. The only part I am not changing is an adult close by at all times for now. ---------- Kate wrote If you had been able to control the drinking maybe things would be different now. yeah maybe ..........but looking back will not change today, not now. That was looked at 2 years ago and I have not had a lick of alcohol or any other non prescribed mood altering drug in two years. That I am proud of , that is not an easy thing for anyone to do once they have self medicated. --------- Kate wrote: Children need ONE functioning parent. You were not functioning for a long period of time. I was functioning? That entire time you were involved with us did you once tell me these words? NO , you gave me your thoughts and ideas as to what to do about what Sara was doing , what the doctors were diagnosing, what the meds did to her , you were aware of my appointments on a daily basis and you knew when i was lost and needed more. How can you say I was not functioning for a long time? That year was the hardest one cause I was so deep into my loss, it was so fresh I was so devastated and so was Sara and both of us were raging lunatics at one point (tell me you don't remember) and yet you continued to support and tell me I was doing a good job, Why the change?. I can not understand what you are doing ? You are the last person in this group that should be posting unknowledgeable trash to me. -------- Kate wrote: Kids should not have to live in a home that is headed by a drunk. Kids should not have to feel like their parents can't afford their food, medical care, clothing for school and that the parent made a choice that the booze was more important than the child.... that's not a child's responsibility nor should they ever feel that way. Struggle is one thing.. when it's the parent's assuming responsibility. You did not assume responsibility. You gave up and numbed out with the booze. You retreated into your own world and your daughter was very afraid for you. Absolutely , if that were the way it was you would be correct.......... I was using alcohol yes I have admitted that, I never said I was a roll in the gutter wino, You are painting this picture that is not true, I was functioning making and attending appointments with Drs. school, counsilors, yes I got into a habit that I watched myself fall into, and before the picture you paint here developed I got help. I do not doubt my daughter may have been afraid for me , I can not change the past I can be a better, present and future and that is all.Yes I did retreat to a point and again I grieved my way you grieved yours . I lost differently than you. I was not as strong as you, I am me. You had your own struggles prior to Phils death , I had my own and they were way different. Your life after phils death was way different than mine, we grieved differently .. I did not have the financial benefits you had, nor the education in the field that carries an understanding of the fall I was taking and the effects on my daughter that I would cause. I made an uncontrollable mistake at that time in my life, I paid dearly for what I did in guilt and suffering. I do not deserve condemnation now for something in the past. The parenting I do now is not under the influence and is from many months if not a year of therapy.I am not to blame anymore. --------------- Kate wrote: That baby is not YOUR child. You are NOT the mother. Your daughter is. Uh huh ? I know? uh huh? I know? What I meant was our household has more than one child in it and I see no reason why I could not parent my daughter and look after her daughter at the same time as in a family where more than one child lived? Heres a Springer Joke...."My sister is really my mother " I do not like that show any more than anyone else but if there is one truth to come out of it is the world is F'cked up ............ My job is to do what is right for my daughter and given her diagnosis and disability I am. Yes my daughter has issues to be taken care of first and foremost, Kate wrote: And just like you couldn't take care of yours when you were drinking, your daughter can't take care of hers. Is my daughter drinking or drugging ? did I miss something? what ? My daughters issues are not about drinking or drugging, it is emotional , it is now diagnosed as Postpartum depression and that can be dealt with now that we have this knowledge. I wanted to express what I was feeling from your hard to understand attack on me ? What I haven't told them here you know and this is just bizzare to me. I have tried to maintain a level head with the comments made to me bt others and I may have come up short for good words or reactions to the attacks but I will never allow people to trash me and treat me as something less than they when in my heart I know they are wrong about me. Maybe my life would make a great lifetime movie but I promise the ending is a happy one . ------- |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message ... Just another 'it's about me WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE whine snipped Gee...........nothing left |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
'Kate wrote in message ... On 24 Apr 2004 17:19:05 GMT, (Bebelestrnge0721) Gees Kate.........why do you always attract the nuts? |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
'Kate wrote in message ... On 24 Apr 2004 17:19:05 GMT, (Bebelestrnge0721) Gees Kate.........why do you always attract the nuts? |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
self serving quick to condemn and judge self rightious non supportive idiots that think they got the number on parenting. For instance I read the pot smoking boys mothers post and all of you blamed her , people do not come to a support group to be beaten down and blamed, ya know they already do blame themselves what the best advice is for her is to seek a support group that deals with drug and alcohol abuse , embrace her family and seek professional help. Educate herself on the problem and get outside help. And NEVER NEVER come here again. ----------------- Kate wrote: Think about the times when your daughter needed love and support and you were busy. Think about her acting out and you were taking care of your own need to get numb to get through the day. Gee, is it any big wonder that your daughter has sought love from someone? This time it's a young man. Do you think for one minute that her choices will get any healthier? Hi Bebe, I have read your post and can see that you have had a tough time. I appreciate your empathy. Coming on this group opened my eyes to what a self righteous bunch most of them are. All I can say about Kate is that she must be perfect. What puzzles me is how come she is a single parent? I can only conclude she must be a widow. No-one that perfect could be divorced. It isn't the things these people say so much as the way they say it. They attack and judge rather than offer constructive advice. You, like myself, have faced tough times and have comitted that terrible sin of being human. We don't always make the right choices. We don't always put our children first even though we try to. We aren't always strong enough. But we try to be good parents the best way we know how. Truth is, a bad parent, a truly bad parent, wouldn't even try to get advice or support. They wouldn't give a damn. We do, and to this end we find ourselves being shot down in flames. I learned my lesson and won't be asking for any more advice from here. Shelley. |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
I learned my lesson and won't be asking for any more advice from here.
That's a wise decision, since advise is not what you were seeking. You were seeking a bunch of "Oh you poor thing, whatever you are doing must be right" -- guess maybe your friends are tired of giving that to you. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
Subject: In response to Kate
On 24 Apr 2004 17:19:05 GMT, (Bebelestrnge0721) Bev wrote: as harshly as you just have for grieving , who said there was a right way to grieve ? Kate wrote: There is a wrong way when it endangers the self or harms the children of the family. Grief is not an excuse for neglect. What if I decided that I didn't want to feed the children because of grief? What if I ignored a medical condition that one had? Bev wrote: Yes , you are right I do not disagree. I failed, I did the best I could , noone wants to understand my confession nor recognise what it took to get my life and parenting skills back on track, so be it. I know that I have paid the price and deserve the chance to be whole again and that my daughters and my granddaughter are in no danger nor will they suffer from my choice to be the parent they did have and should of had before Gayle died. I don't give a rats ass who understands anymore . The scenario as an example you give here Kate is not how it was for us, there were outside people involved in our lives helping me back from my breakdown, wether you care to believe me or not , you were one of them. ----------------------- Bev wrote: do you think I don't talk to my kids about that , what happened to me ? Do you think my apology to them is not enough ? Kate wrote: I think that's up to them but regardless of whether they accept it, these things still happened. Bev wrote: Yes things still happened, the family that my children grew up in was a loving secure home, all those years of good parenting and love and time Gayle and I put in to raise them healthy and happy did not go away because I fell when that all ended. My life ended then , as well as my childrens grief I had many stresses that I could not handle, My children were strong enough to see me through this and as much as no child should have to face this yes mine did and yes they are forgiving, and understanding, they know I am human. ------------------------------. Bev wrote: I do not need your acceptance to who I was then or who I am now.. Kate wrote: I've never insisted that you measure up to any standard. I stated that your actions created a situation. That they are connected is no big mystery. I pointed out the connection. I didn't cause the situation. Bev wrote: Yes I do understand that, I was to blame, I can't continue to live my life in a hole because of what happened. I put it back together and I am moving on. I am doing what I feel is best for us as a family today. --------------- Bev wrote: I never lied to the people helping us they knew I would rather had been home hiding from my grief instead I sat in meetings with these people crying and apologising for the way I was. Kate wrote: Actually, you lied by omission. Bev wrote: Yes I did, I am sorry, I can not justify it , I know my daughter didn't keep it a secret. -------------------- Bev wrote: I fought the diagnosis of Manic depression and bi polar after trying the meds that did nothiong but put my child down to non functioning.Yes I was drinking then too but I was not , ignorant to my daughters issues and needs and YOU played a very important role in the strength I had back then . There was all kinds of professionals involved in our family from before Gayle died . Kate wrote: I let you use me so that you would have a temporary lifeline. I never expected a thank you. I never expected to have it out in the open. I don't do that. I keep private things private. I would have prefered that this be one. Bev wrote: Ouch Kate, "you let me *use* you" ? Geeze, very cold of you. The time we spent , on line , on the phone, meant a lot to me. It was a lifeline yes, but girl there is not much I held back from you and you know that and if you had no intentions of accepting this to have been a friendship , I would of liked to have known that ? You stopped comunicating , for whatever reason at the time that was fine but you never closed it. You just stopped, no matter how I tried to contact you , there was never a reply? You wanted it kept private, so did I. You did not have to reply to me in this group. I did wonder if you would, You hadn't for 2 years recognised my attempts to contact you. I guess now I understand why, there never was a true connection as friends for you was there? I don't want to do this here , damn it. ------------------------ Kate wrote: It's from information that you posted here... nothing privately spoken about. Bev wrote: I realised that Kate, you did know more is what I was saying, I was floored by your opinion because I felt you understood from our past time of comunication pretty much what the daily was for Sara and I . It was an "opposite" reaction you gave me here. Different type of support I guess and I reacted with my feelings about it. -------------------------------- Kate wrote: The thing is... if you don't look for the patterns, you'll never see them and they will start all over again. I don't want that to happen to you, your daughters, or the baby. So it's ok if you're angry at me. Is it productive? Will it help? I believe so. I could be wrong... but I'm willing to bet that you're able to handle this right now.... my opinion, as another single parent. Bev wrote: I am not angry Kate , still healing maybe from what you never felt as a friend I guess or I should say loss of someone important , you were then and will always mean something important to me because of what you did to help me through this , I thought you were my friend. Not just someone you picked to let use you ???? What you say means a lot to me, I know you *know* what is good for people in my situation and I still take your advice , You make me think , respectfully minus the emotional responses sometimes I do respect you. I have been under a lot of stress with all of this baby stuff going on in our lives , I have been trying to do what is right and coming here for advice was/is my intention in the first place, did I know you were here? , yes , did I reach ?, yes, do I regret it ? , no. Did I take the hard advice of others in here ? Yes I did from the start I could see mistakes I was indeed making with my daughter and my granddaughter, I backed off and let myself be less involved. I did take what I could use and tried to ignore the rest. That is really hard sometimes when you feel atttacked. I let it get to me and I am sorry to those I mistreated because my feelings were hurt. No I am not whining either. ----------------------------------------- Kate wrote: you got my thoughts on what you're family is going through right now. I can't take past information and ignore it as if I hadn't learned it. I know what you were up against. Now you're back on your feet and it's up to you whether to take another look or not. Bev wrote: O.K. all good , question? What should I be taking another look at? The past ? The future? -------------------------------------------- Kate wrote: Good. I hope it is. I know you don't get what I said or why... maybe if you take a step back and see what happened and what will continue to happen, if not to you then to your granddaughter because she is the one learning this pattern from all of you, your family will ultimately win. It seems obvious to me that you can handle this. Bev wrote: Yes, I do understand now that I can manage to try and understand. I know about the dysfunctional patterns that cripple families , generation to generation , and I am sure I can,t fix many generations of dysfunction that has plagued my family, and yes I do look at it everyday as I try to make some kind of a difference for my kids and grandkids. I had been all my life trying to make it beter for my kids and I was sucessful most of that time, I have fumbled along the way, but today is different for us and I guess I was inded looking for that to be recognised. Be happy Kate, you should know I do mean that Bev 'Kate |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
I don't give a rats ass who
understands anymore Then why do you keep subjecting us to these tirades? From the very beginning, you claimed to ask for help but if anyone said anything different from what you already wanted to hear, we were subjected to a litany of excuses, rationalizations and lamentations. Gues what? You aren't the only one that has suffered in this world. You only want to hear "Oh, you poor thing, don't worry, you did the best you could, that's all that counts" and the only reason you are sticking around is because once in awhile you will hear that. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
"Joelle" wrote in message ... I don't give a rats ass who understands anymore Then why do you keep subjecting us to these tirades? Because it is all about 'Bev' she doesn't give a rats ass about anybody else From the very beginning, you claimed to ask for help but if anyone said anything different from what you already wanted to hear, we were subjected to a litany of excuses, rationalizations and lamentations. Gues what? You aren't the only one that has suffered in this world. You only want to hear "Oh, you poor thing, don't worry, you did the best you could, that's all that counts" and the only reason you are sticking around is because once in awhile you will hear that. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
In response to Kate
Subject: In response to Kate
From: oaway (Joelle) Date: 5/4/2004 12:12 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: I don't give a rats ass who understands anymore Joelle wrote: Then why do you keep subjecting us to these tirades? Bev wrote: I was not tirading, sorry you read it that way. What I mean is If you wanna have a bad opinion of me anymore I do not care, everyone is entitled to thier opinion .Does not mean those opinions are true. Joele wrote: From the very beginning, you claimed to ask for help but if anyone said anything different from what you already wanted to hear, we were subjected to a litany of excuses, rationalizations and lamentations. Bev wrote: Yes I asked for advice, I did not offer excuses I gave reasons as to why . Maybe I do rationalize things , sometimes I am not sure I am making the right decisions and think out loud. Good words you use here and I kind of have an idea what lamentation is but I will only say, if I guess right you would be speaking of my sorrow and/or grief and regret for what happened? and yes you are right , I am still grieving the loss and the results of it. Joele wrote: Gues what? You aren't the only one that has suffered in this world. You only want to hear "Oh, you poor thing, don't worry, you did the best you could, that's all that counts" and the only reason you are sticking around is because once in awhile you will hear that. Bev wrote: I know I am not the only person to suffer , why you would want to say I am so narrow minded and inconsiderate of that? I did not want what you say, I wanted to be treated with respect and consideration . I did not deserve the treatment I received, in my opinion. Bev The horse is dead, lets stop beating it . I know I want to. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
|
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
misc.kids FAQ on Prenatal Testing - Overview and Personal Stories | [email protected] | Info and FAQ's | 0 | April 17th 04 12:26 PM |
misc.kids FAQ on Prenatal Testing - Overview and Personal Stories | [email protected] | Pregnancy | 1 | March 19th 04 03:31 PM |
misc.kids FAQ on Prenatal Testing - Overview and Personal Stories | [email protected] | Info and FAQ's | 0 | March 18th 04 09:12 AM |
misc.kids FAQ on Prenatal Testing - Overview and Personal Stories | [email protected] | Pregnancy | 0 | February 16th 04 09:59 AM |
misc.kids FAQ on Prenatal Testing - Overview and Personal Stories | [email protected] | Info and FAQ's | 0 | February 16th 04 09:59 AM |