If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?
We were away visiting friends this weekend and DD (18 months), who was cutting a molar and feeling a little out of sorts nursed constantly. And I mean constantly. So much that I'm quite sore now. For most of the weekend, I was wishing she wasn't still nursing. It seemed like every 10 minutes, she was back on the breast. I know I should be happy that she has this source of comfort, and I understand completely that DD, who is very shy and routine oriented, was out of sorts. But I still feel this way. I'll probably be over it tomorrow, but we're going away on a longer trip soon and I'm really dreading it. It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment. Nancy |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"Nancy P" wrote in message ... It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment. At that point (not really wanting to BF anymore), I decided to wean completely. I solved the not 100% childproof tantrum problem by 100% childproofing, then letting DS run wild. Some people would disagree, but I think my sanity is more important. |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"toypup" wrote in message news:sGV4b.329007$YN5.227498@sccrnsc01... "Nancy P" wrote in message ... At that point (not really wanting to BF anymore), I decided to wean completely. I solved the not 100% childproof tantrum problem by 100% childproofing, then letting DS run wild. Some people would disagree, but I think my sanity is more important. Two things. How did you wean? DD is somewhat assertive about it, and while I'm not sure I want to wean (especially after a good night's sleep), I'm afraid it could be traumatic. The other thing is that my house is totally childproofed, but what do I do when I go places? I've pretty much tried to limit myself to playgrounds and other people with small children's houses, but we have to visit relatives, etc. sometimes. Nancy |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"Al Bell" wrote in message ... "Nancy P" writes: Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing? I'm sure every honest mom sometimes wishes she weren't still nursing. But think how blessed you are that your milk has lasted 18 months. Hope mine does. Thanks AL. I do feel blessed that I have been able to, adn that my daughter is so close to me. Nancy |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"Nancy P" wrote in message ... Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing? Honestly, I have also reached a point where, mostly, enough is enough. We were away visiting friends this weekend and DD (18 months), who was cutting a molar and feeling a little out of sorts nursed constantly. And I mean constantly. So much that I'm quite sore now. For most of the weekend, I was wishing she wasn't still nursing. It seemed like every 10 minutes, she was back on the breast. I know I should be happy that she has this source of comfort, and I understand completely that DD, who is very shy and routine oriented, was out of sorts. But I still feel this way. I'll probably be over it tomorrow, but we're going away on a longer trip soon and I'm really dreading it. It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment. Nancy I have done the same thing as someone else here has said. Babyproof until there is nothing they can do/get into and just let them go. Much less stressful on everyone involved. I am still getting really tired of nursing, right now. DS is 29 months, and somedays I just want to scream when he has nursed for the 60th odd time that day. (not really that much, but it feels like it). I have noticed that most of the frustrating occurs when he is nursing to sleep, and just isn't interested in sleeping. Instead he'll stick his hand in my mouth, or play with my hair, or whatever. I have a necklace he has played with since birth, but sometimes that just isn't enough. HTH you feel less alone in this. Good luck in deciding what you are going to do. Roseann |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
Sometime around 18mos-2yrs I was getting really frustrated with nursing.
The frequency was really hampering our ability to do anything else during the day, whether trying to get out of the house, or do some baking or craft, whatever. So I started delaying and sort of scheduling nursings, by saying things like "we'll get bb again after breakfast" linking it to a specific sort of time or event that he could count on (as they can't tell time yet, link it to an event they know is going to happen.) Ds was fine with it, as long as he was able to understand and look forward to knowing when he could nurse again. By the time he was 2 1/2, I think we were down to just 4 times a day, before and after nap and to bed at night/waking in the morning. Near age 3 I insisted on dropping the two waking up nursings because it was turning into the same frustration as before, we could never get out of bed, it was turning into a lot of fighting and arguing just to get up in the morning and the afternoon. (I also miscarried and was too tired to nurse even those 4 times for a few days.) So I cut it down to the 2 before sleep nursings and have stuck with that and am perfectly happy with the arrangement. Ds rarely asks to nurse more than that, and if he does I remind him when we will nurse and find something else for him to do. In fact, I'm afraid to give up the pre-nap nursing, as I'm sure he'll just stop napping all together. He sleeps for 2-3 hours, so I know he still really needs that nap on a regular basis. But if we're out at nap time, he will fall asleep in the car seat or stroller without nursing. I guess what I'm saying is I definitely understand your frustration, and would like to offer up the idea that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. When your child has been nursing on demand for a year and a half or two years, I don't see anything wrong with gently cutting back and allowing yourself to meet your own needs at this point. With your guidance and respect both yourself and for the times that are most important for your child, you can cut back on nursing frequency so you're not so frustrated about it and your child still gets some of that comfort and nutrition. My ds is 3yr 3 mos and we're still nursing, but it's not running our lives anymore, which was perfectly appropriate when he was an infant, but as a toddler/preschooler, there are other things that need to have priority for your child and for you, but you can still continue on a limited basis. That's what works for us at this point, anyway. -Karen, mom to Henry 3- |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
Nancy P wrote: Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing? Of course not. I've wished that, off and on, from the time my son was, oh, 2 weeks old. Clisby |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"Nancy P" wrote in message news "toypup" wrote in message news:sGV4b.329007$YN5.227498@sccrnsc01... "Nancy P" wrote in message ... At that point (not really wanting to BF anymore), I decided to wean completely. I solved the not 100% childproof tantrum problem by 100% childproofing, then letting DS run wild. Some people would disagree, but I think my sanity is more important. Two things. How did you wean? DD is somewhat assertive about it, and while I'm not sure I want to wean (especially after a good night's sleep), I'm afraid it could be traumatic. I started early (12 months) but did it ever so gradually that by the time I decided to cut it out completely, DS was nursing less than once a day. He nursed every night I was home, but when I worked (three nights a week), DH put him to bed and he didn't nurse. So, when I decided to wean completely (21 months), it happened to be a week I was working more, so I had DH put DS to sleep every night for two weeks, even when I was home. That did the trick. He asked a few times afterwards, but when I refused, he didn't put up much of a fuss. The other thing is that my house is totally childproofed, but what do I do when I go places? I've pretty much tried to limit myself to playgrounds and other people with small children's houses, but we have to visit relatives, etc. sometimes. Well, I wasn't referring to visiting friends and relatives. We just have to be extra vigilant. To be honest, the really child-unfriendly homes make me so tired, I don't really want to visit so often. It's really worse when we are visiting, not only because it's not childproofed, but because DS likes to explore anything new, and everything is new wherever we visit. I have to constantly chase him around. I do bring his own toys from home, but those do not interest him nearly so much. |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"Nancy P" wrote in message ...
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing? We were away visiting friends this weekend and DD (18 months), who was cutting a molar and feeling a little out of sorts nursed constantly. And I mean constantly. So much that I'm quite sore now. For most of the weekend, I was wishing she wasn't still nursing. It seemed like every 10 minutes, she was back on the breast. I know I should be happy that she has this source of comfort, and I understand completely that DD, who is very shy and routine oriented, was out of sorts. But I still feel this way. I'll probably be over it tomorrow, but we're going away on a longer trip soon and I'm really dreading it. I do not understand this. I am sure to get completely slammed. And I do not mean to be critical of you. But what is it about the perception of a child's need to nurse that supercedes your need to be able to set your own body's boundaries? If this is a one day thing, and you are feeling bummed out and want to vent for now and tomorrow you will be fine, that is one thing. But if you are really dreading the next trip, it may be time to evaluate your own needs. It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment. Nancy Are you trying to use nursing as a panacea to not have to deal with other issues? This is not a good idea. I am not sure what the relationship is between nursing and a child's desire to explore their world, but personally I would not try to have nursing placate the child from tantrums. What's wrong with childproofing? It was cool with DS, who is now 2y and 9m, to see gradually how he ceased needing it and being willing to leave dangerous things alone. Until then, it was a constant battle. |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)
"Stephanie" wrote in message om... "Nancy P" wrote in message ... Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing? I do not understand this. I am sure to get completely slammed. And I do not mean to be critical of you. But what is it about the perception of a child's need to nurse that supercedes your need to be able to set your own body's boundaries? If this is a one day thing, and you are feeling bummed out and want to vent for now and tomorrow you will be fine, that is one thing. But if you are really dreading the next trip, it may be time to evaluate your own needs. I don't think you should get slammed. We're all entitled to our own opinions. Are you trying to use nursing as a panacea to not have to deal with other issues? This is not a good idea. I am not sure what the relationship is between nursing and a child's desire to explore their world, but personally I would not try to have nursing placate the child from tantrums. I"m not using nursing as a comfort tool, my DD is. When she's upset she approaches me to nurse. I thought this was pretty common. What's wrong with childproofing? It was cool with DS, who is now 2y and 9m, to see gradually how he ceased needing it and being willing to leave dangerous things alone. Until then, it was a constant battle. Nothing's wrong with childproofing. My house is childproofed. But each and every place I go is not (nor do I expect it to be). I think, to make a long story short, is that for us, nursing on demand hasn't diminished. I'm not always thrilled about this. I have been kind of waiting for it to diminish gradually, as her choice. As today marks the first time ever she has had 3 meals of real food (as opposed to baby mush & yogurt), I expect that process will begin. Nancy |
|
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
The Story About the Toddler, Volume 16. | Spiderweb Software | General | 1 | July 24th 04 12:48 PM |
frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long) | toypup | Pregnancy | 20 | February 18th 04 04:30 AM |
nursing toddler Q | Spanannie | Breastfeeding | 5 | August 28th 03 04:35 PM |
Typical Nurses | [email protected] | Pregnancy | 0 | July 15th 03 06:03 PM |
Nursing strike? | Clisby Williams | Breastfeeding | 3 | July 14th 03 09:12 PM |