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#1
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Help with night weaning
Since birth, my 14 mo DD has been waking between 2 and 4 times a night to
nurse. Three weeks ago I decided it was time to stop nursing her during the night in the hope that she would start sleeping through. (I am soooo tired.) For the first few nights if she woke before 1am I offered her water then held her for a few minutes then put her back in her crib. If she woke later than 1am, I nursed her. Over the course of a week I gradually pushed back the first nursing until 5am, then dropped it completely. She didn't seem too bothered. She now nurses first thing in the morning, mid-morning snack, before nap, after nap, then bedtime. I haven't nursed her at night for over two weeks but she still wakes up at the previous nursing times. I go to her room and she is standing in her crib (smiling!). I pick her up, hold her for a few moments then she goes back into her crib awake and she sleeps for a few more hours. Sometimes DH goes to her room and finds exactly the same thing. She made the transition to her own room, without any fuss, 3 months ago. At bedtime, from newborn, she has always been put in her crib awake, and drifts off to sleep by herself quite happily. So I know (in theory) she can get herself back to sleep if she wakes at night. I stopped nursing her at night in the hope of getting her to sleep through. It hasn't worked. Has anyone got any advice please? Thanks Rachel -- |
#2
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Help with night weaning
I haven't nursed her at night for over two weeks but she still wakes up at
the previous nursing times. I go to her room and she is standing in her crib (smiling!). I pick her up, hold her for a few moments then she goes back into her crib awake and she sleeps for a few more hours. Sometimes DH goes to her room and finds exactly the same thing. is she crying to let you know she is awake, or is it just awake noises? sounds a little like my DS, who once he had stood up in his cot, he just would not lie himself down, it didn't prove to be a long term problem as for other reasons he decided he hated the cot, so we just went to a bed as it didn't seem a battle worth fighting. Sorry that is not much help, but it may shed some light on why she needs you to go in. Anne |
#3
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Help with night weaning
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... I haven't nursed her at night for over two weeks but she still wakes up at the previous nursing times. I go to her room and she is standing in her crib (smiling!). I pick her up, hold her for a few moments then she goes back into her crib awake and she sleeps for a few more hours. Sometimes DH goes to her room and finds exactly the same thing. is she crying to let you know she is awake, or is it just awake noises? sounds a little like my DS, who once he had stood up in his cot, he just would not lie himself down, it didn't prove to be a long term problem as for other reasons he decided he hated the cot, so we just went to a bed as it didn't seem a battle worth fighting. She is crying for me (someone) to go to her. Sometimes she lets out a little moan as she turns over, and then it goes quiet. But this is different - if I wait the crying steadily escalates until I go in. I am hesitant to delay for too long in case she gets too awake and then won't go back to sleep easily. Sorry that is not much help, but it may shed some light on why she needs you to go in. Anne Thanks for your reply, Anne. I am at a total loss as to what to do. I believed for all these months that she was still waking because she was hungry. Once she had stopped nursing at night I expected her to start sleeping longer. My DS slept through after a similar night weaning programme when he was 16mo. Rachel |
#4
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Help with night weaning
Rachel wrote:
[...] I haven't nursed her at night for over two weeks but she still wakes up at the previous nursing times. I go to her room and she is standing in her crib (smiling!). I pick her up, hold her for a few moments then she goes back into her crib awake and she sleeps for a few more hours. [...] I stopped nursing her at night in the hope of getting her to sleep through. It hasn't worked. Has anyone got any advice please? She's got into a habit of waking up at those times, and hasn't learned to get herself back to sleep when she wakes up, because she's used to you coming in and doing something for her. Possible options a Try to break the sleep/wake pattern she's got into. To do this, you wake her part way up before the time she normally wakes up, then settle her again. This shifts her sleep cycle into a different phase and resets her internal clock, so that she then gets out of the habit of waking up at a particular time. What you do is set your alarm clock for an hour or less (not less than fifteen minutes) before the time she normally wakes up, go in there, disturb her just a bit - shift her position about, rub her tummy, that sort of thing - get her stirring, then settle her again. According to Tracy Hogg, if it isn't working after three nights you might as well give up, but if it does seem to be working you should keep going for six nights to get her body clock properly reset. This is known as the 'scheduled awakening' or 'wake to sleep' method, and has a reasonable chance of success, but is unpopular for obvious reasons. Try to break the pattern of her needing your help to get back to sleep. This can be done in stages, if you like. First, instead of picking her up, just take her hands off the cot sides and lower her down to the cot. If she starts crying again when you leave the room, just go back in and repeat the same thing as often as necessary. In fact, it's actually useful to keep count of how many times you have to lie her down, so that you can see whether things are improving over subsequent nights. If she's still waking up after a few nights, just go in and give her a pat and a 'good night, time to sleep' and go out - again, keep going in to repeat as often as necessary. The idea is that gradually she needs less and less input from you to get back to sleep. There are all sorts of variations on this - for example, you can skip straight to the pat-and-goodnight stage (if you're confident that she knows how to lie down for herself), or you can leave her crying for a few minutes between each time you go in so that she gets used to spending time by herself, or you can gradually extend the amount of time between going in to settle her each time (the Ferber method). Doing it by gradual stages is easier on everyone concerned at the time (including the neighbours) but does take longer, so it depends on how exhausted and desperate you're feeling. All the best, Sarah -- http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com But how do we _know_ that no-one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they’d spent more time at the office? |
#5
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Help with night weaning
"Rachel" wrote in message news:NC03g.58569 I stopped nursing her at night in the hope of getting her to sleep through. It hasn't worked. Has anyone got any advice please? I hate to say it but after mine were weaned at night they continued to wake up and ask to nurse until they were completely weaned during the day as well. They just asked to nurse and I said no...they went back to sleep. We co-slept though so it wasn't like I had to get up and go to them. I hope you get some good tips! Oh, #1 was pretty much night weaned at 18mos and 100% weaned at 20 months. #2 was night weaned at 20mos and 100% weaned at 26 months so he spent 6 months waking up, even though we co-slept. -- Nikki, mama to Hunter 4/99 Luke 4/01 Brock 4/06 Ben 4/06 |
#6
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Help with night weaning
I hate to say it but after mine were weaned at night they continued to
wake up and ask to nurse until they were completely weaned during the day as well. They just asked to nurse and I said no...they went back to sleep. We co-slept though so it wasn't like I had to get up and go to them. I hope you get some good tips! we didn't even get that, almost Ada's entire life her big brother has got up more times in the night than she has. He is easy and speedy to settle, but he still gets up, but it's not predictible. Anne |
#7
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Help with night weaning
"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message ... Rachel wrote: [...] I stopped nursing her at night in the hope of getting her to sleep through. It hasn't worked. Has anyone got any advice please? She's got into a habit of waking up at those times, and hasn't learned to get herself back to sleep when she wakes up, because she's used to you coming in and doing something for her. I agree that it must be a habit. We have eliminated (I think) every other possibility like hunger, thirst, being cold, teething or illness (given pain relief). Possible options a Try to break the sleep/wake pattern she's got into. To do this, you wake her part way up before the time she normally wakes up, then settle her again. This shifts her sleep cycle into a different phase and resets her internal clock, so that she then gets out of the habit of waking up at a particular time. What you do is set your alarm clock for an hour or less (not less than fifteen minutes) before the time she normally wakes up, go in there, disturb her just a bit - shift her position about, rub her tummy, that sort of thing - get her stirring, then settle her again. According to Tracy Hogg, if it isn't working after three nights you might as well give up, but if it does seem to be working you should keep going for six nights to get her body clock properly reset. This is known as the 'scheduled awakening' or 'wake to sleep' method, and has a reasonable chance of success, but is unpopular for obvious reasons. I can understand why this isn't everyone's first choice. Setting my alarm clock in the middle of the night when I so desparately crave sleep just doesn't float my boat at all! I'll come back to this one if all else fails. Try to break the pattern of her needing your help to get back to sleep. This can be done in stages, if you like. First, instead of picking her up, just take her hands off the cot sides and lower her down to the cot. If she starts crying again when you leave the room, just go back in and repeat the same thing as often as necessary. In fact, it's actually useful to keep count of how many times you have to lie her down, so that you can see whether things are improving over subsequent nights. If she's still waking up after a few nights, just go in and give her a pat and a 'good night, time to sleep' and go out - again, keep going in to repeat as often as necessary. The idea is that gradually she needs less and less input from you to get back to sleep. I'll try this method first. Thank you for your tips. There are all sorts of variations on this - for example, you can skip straight to the pat-and-goodnight stage (if you're confident that she knows how to lie down for herself), or you can leave her crying for a few minutes between each time you go in so that she gets used to spending time by herself, or you can gradually extend the amount of time between going in to settle her each time (the Ferber method). Doing it by gradual stages is easier on everyone concerned at the time (including the neighbours) but does take longer, so it depends on how exhausted and desperate you're feeling. All the best, Sarah -- http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com But how do we _know_ that no-one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they'd spent more time at the office? |
#8
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Help with night weaning
"Nikki" wrote in message ... "Rachel" wrote in message news:NC03g.58569 I stopped nursing her at night in the hope of getting her to sleep through. It hasn't worked. Has anyone got any advice please? I hate to say it but after mine were weaned at night they continued to wake up and ask to nurse until they were completely weaned during the day as well. They just asked to nurse and I said no...they went back to sleep. We co-slept though so it wasn't like I had to get up and go to them. I hope you get some good tips! Thanks Nikki, I want (no, need) to get sleep. My DS continued to nurse in the day until he was 2.5, eventually going down to just one feed before bedtime. I hope that DD will nurse that long too, but not if she keeps stopping me from sleeping. I didn't realise how much of a 'drive' the need to sleep is. Oh, #1 was pretty much night weaned at 18mos and 100% weaned at 20 months. #2 was night weaned at 20mos and 100% weaned at 26 months so he spent 6 months waking up, even though we co-slept. -- Nikki, mama to Hunter 4/99 Luke 4/01 Brock 4/06 Ben 4/06 |
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