Anyone know of a book

(Crossposted to mkm)

I haven't an inkling how to search for this on Amazon and I can't find
anything locally in Israel... I'm looking for a simple book, suitable
for a kindergartener, to help me introduce my daughter to the idea of
personal safety. She starts school in the fall and for the first time
will be in unsupervised contact with people I have not personally
approved.

DD is a naive and timid kid, eager to please and often in awe of
authority figures. What's more, schools around here don't screen all
personnel on the grounds and some nasty stories have appeared in the
news lately. Perhaps I am overreacting but I feel I need to give her
some idea of what to watch out for and how to respond in threatening
scenarios.

I will be driving her to and from the school, which is gated and
guarded, so I'm more worried about molestation than abduction.

Surely someone has written a kid's book about this. DD is not very
"sharing" and will likely respond with her usual vague nod if I just
bring it up out of the blue.

Any leads appreciated.

--Lisa bell
Mom to Gabriella (5.5) and Michaela (4)

I've used "No no the Seal" with my kids....

Kathi

Hi -

With our kids, we didn't read any books. Instead we talked about
"private parts" and often when we did things that involved those parts
(doctor visits, helping on the toilet, getting dressed ...) we reminded
them that these were THEIR private parts, and no one else could touch
them except parents when bathing or helping with toileting, or doctors
with mom or dad present. NO ONE else. And if anyone did, the kids
should tell us right away. We would NEVER get angry at a kid if this
happened (we said this very clearly) but would make sure the naughty
friend (even a naughty grown-up friend) would be taught the REAL rules.

That said, I have to say that when we play-acted what might happen, what
a grown-up might say, the kids believed what they heard most recently
and NOT us, the parents. (THey did this when we play-acted a kidnapping
scene, too.) In both cases we made it non-scary (successfully, I think)
but the real answer is that with young children, you've got to trust
your caregiver. The kids aren't really teachable unless you want to
truly scare them and make them quite wary of the world.

I'd be curious as to whether anyone has had different experiences with
younger children on this topic.

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

OK, I haven't read these books, but you can probably figure out what might
work from the descriptions and reviews:

http://tinyurl.com/34hvs
http://tinyurl.com/ysjr8
http://tinyurl.com/yw864

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

On Tue, 1 Jun 2004 22:18:44 EDT, (Beth Kevles) wrote:

With our kids, we didn't read any books. Instead we talked about
"private parts" and often when we did things that involved those parts
(doctor visits, helping on the toilet, getting dressed ...) we reminded
them that these were THEIR private parts, and no one else could touch
them except parents when bathing or helping with toileting, or doctors
with mom or dad present. NO ONE else. And if anyone did, the kids
should tell us right away. We would NEVER get angry at a kid if this
happened (we said this very clearly) but would make sure the naughty
friend (even a naughty grown-up friend) would be taught the REAL rules.

Except that with the deviations around today not touching the kid's
private parts doesn't really cover the bases.

I was very impressed by the message of a mom who used to post on one
of these parenting groups a few years ago, and who had herself been
molested in her youth, that one needs to concentrate on preparing kids
for how to deal with the threat of molestation *before* it occurs, and
that by the time they get to tell mom or dad it is too late. Her
point, that it is much easier to stop the act before it occurs, and
before the child feels guilty, conflicted over getting someone into
trouble, or telling a secret etc, made a lot of sense to me. Plus,
obviously, while I'd definitely want to know if any inappropriate
behaviour has occured, I'd much rather it didn't occur in the first
place.


That said, I have to say that when we play-acted what might happen, what
a grown-up might say, the kids believed what they heard most recently
and NOT us, the parents. (THey did this when we play-acted a kidnapping
scene, too.) In both cases we made it non-scary (successfully, I think)
but the real answer is that with young children, you've got to trust
your caregiver. The kids aren't really teachable unless you want to
truly scare them and make them quite wary of the world.

I'm not certain what you mean by "what they heard most recently" but I
do think the play acting is good practice, even if they don't do it
quite as you wanted. I wish I could get my eldest DD to play act
anything, but she's not keen on play acting and won't participate at
all. Her sister is more dramatic, but I'm not sure she'd really
understand the concept. As for being non-scary - perhaps it's better
to scare them a little, so at least they are cautious, than to leave
them completely innocent and prey to perverts?

--Lisa bell
Mom to Gabriella (5.5) and Michaela (4)

On Tue, 1 Jun 2004 23:35:41 EDT, (Hillary Israeli)
wrote:

OK, I haven't read these books, but you can probably figure out what might
work from the descriptions and reviews:

http://tinyurl.com/34hvs
http://tinyurl.com/ysjr8
http://tinyurl.com/yw864

Thanks Hillary. These look right on track, even if I have to guess
which ones are any good.

--Lisa bell
Mom to Gabriella (5.5) and Michaela (4)

LisaBell wrote in message
(Crossposted to mkm)

I haven't an inkling how to search for this on Amazon and I can't find
anything locally in Israel... I'm looking for a simple book, suitable
for a kindergartener, to help me introduce my daughter to the idea of
personal safety.

I will have to get the book and author, but one theory is to put your child
with people (like a mall) and have them ask an adult they *feel* is
trustworthy a simple question. What this does is teach them their gut
feeling about people and seek out those that would be willing to help in a
problem. Although, preparing them in other ways is helpful too and I am sure
the book goes into more detail. If you are interested, I will get the
information. )
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

In ,
LisaBell wrote:

*On Tue, 1 Jun 2004 23:35:41 EDT, (Hillary Israeli)
*wrote:
*
*OK, I haven't read these books, but you can probably figure out what might
*work from the descriptions and reviews:
*
*http://tinyurl.com/34hvs
*http://tinyurl.com/ysjr8
*http://tinyurl.com/yw864
*
*Thanks Hillary. These look right on track, even if I have to guess
*which ones are any good.

You're welcome. BTW I googled for "stranger danger book" to get a head
start.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

On Tue, 1 Jun 2004 18:40:59 EDT, ojunk (T68b) wrote:

I've used "No no the Seal" with my kids....

Kathi

Can't find it on Amazon or B&N. Thanks, anyway.

--Lisa bell

On Tue, 1 Jun 2004 23:35:41 EDT, (Hillary Israeli)
wrote:

OK, I haven't read these books, but you can probably figure out what might
work from the descriptions and reviews:

http://tinyurl.com/34hvs
http://tinyurl.com/ysjr8
http://tinyurl.com/yw864

Here are some websites for books about issues:

http://www.educationalchildrensbooks.com/index.html

http://www.logan.lib.ut.us/booklist/...rapy/abuse.htm

http://www.maginationpress.com/bbytopic.html
on the above URL, look at *Uncle Willies Tickles*





--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits