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#31
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how do you cope, I really admire your strength because to be honest at this
very moment I really don't think I want to get pregnant again for fear of the same thing happening, it has completely knocked me sideways. I came out of hospital this morning after an ERPC unfortunately I had to stay in overnight just to add to the misery as my temperature shot up :-( Helen Madeline 17/10/04 One little angel 18/10/04 "Jamie Clark" wrote in message ... Oh Helen, I am so sorry. I have a whole slew of angels under my sig line, I just don't type them out any more. I feel for you. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 Addison Grace, 9/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Helen" wrote in message . uk... thank you to everyone who tried to reassure me and helped me through a very difficult day in limbo, sadly we were told this morning that our baby has died and that I am going to miscarry. We are obviously devastated. thank you again for your thoughts and prayers Helen the Midwife Madeline 17/5/04 one little angel not to be :-( |
#32
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How do you cope? One day at a time. I know that you are afraid of it
happening again, and it very well might. But it might not. And at some point, the hope of having another child will outweigh the fear of miscarriage, and you'll try again. And if you miscarry again, you'll survive it. Because a broken heart will not kill you, and will heal. And if the hope of having another child never outweighs the fear of a miscarriage, then you'll only have your one, and be happy with that. I've had 9 pregnancy losses all together. Nathan was delivered still at 23.5 weeks. We chose to end that pregnancy because he had a large physical defect -- a giant omphalocele -- the majority of his internal organs were on the outside of his body. From the research we did, it didn't seem like it was fixable. After we lost Nathan, I had 5 chemical pregnancies, all lost between 4-6 weeks, as well as 2 blighted ovums, no heartbeat seen at 7 or 8 weeks. One I miscarried on my own, and the other I had a D&C for. One of the blighted ovums was the result of a donor egg IVF cycle. I also did an IVF cycle with my own eggs, but didn't get pregnant from that at all. You cope because you have to. You survive because you have to. What other choice is there? I wanted a family, dh wanted a family. We did all that we could possibly do biologically to have one. When it became clear that it wasn't going to happen biologically, we went down other roads, including finally, adoption. We now have a family, and couldn't be happier. Until the hope outweighs the fear, you grieve, you cry, and you work day by day to survive this. When the time is right to try again -- when you actually think you might consider it, you'll know. Hugs Helen. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 Addison Grace, 9/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Helen" wrote in message .uk... how do you cope, I really admire your strength because to be honest at this very moment I really don't think I want to get pregnant again for fear of the same thing happening, it has completely knocked me sideways. I came out of hospital this morning after an ERPC unfortunately I had to stay in overnight just to add to the misery as my temperature shot up :-( Helen Madeline 17/10/04 One little angel 18/10/04 "Jamie Clark" wrote in message ... Oh Helen, I am so sorry. I have a whole slew of angels under my sig line, I just don't type them out any more. I feel for you. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 Addison Grace, 9/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Helen" wrote in message . uk... thank you to everyone who tried to reassure me and helped me through a very difficult day in limbo, sadly we were told this morning that our baby has died and that I am going to miscarry. We are obviously devastated. thank you again for your thoughts and prayers Helen the Midwife Madeline 17/5/04 one little angel not to be :-( |
#33
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thank you, and I hope I don't sound selfish, I guess at the moment I just
feel so sad and hurt by what has happened, I cant quite believe it. I know you are right and I think in time we will try again, its just I am 38 and time is not something I have a lot of Helen Madeline 17/5/04 one little angel 18/10/04 "Jamie Clark" wrote in message ... How do you cope? One day at a time. I know that you are afraid of it happening again, and it very well might. But it might not. And at some point, the hope of having another child will outweigh the fear of miscarriage, and you'll try again. And if you miscarry again, you'll survive it. Because a broken heart will not kill you, and will heal. And if the hope of having another child never outweighs the fear of a miscarriage, then you'll only have your one, and be happy with that. I've had 9 pregnancy losses all together. Nathan was delivered still at 23.5 weeks. We chose to end that pregnancy because he had a large physical defect -- a giant omphalocele -- the majority of his internal organs were on the outside of his body. From the research we did, it didn't seem like it was fixable. After we lost Nathan, I had 5 chemical pregnancies, all lost between 4-6 weeks, as well as 2 blighted ovums, no heartbeat seen at 7 or 8 weeks. One I miscarried on my own, and the other I had a D&C for. One of the blighted ovums was the result of a donor egg IVF cycle. I also did an IVF cycle with my own eggs, but didn't get pregnant from that at all. You cope because you have to. You survive because you have to. What other choice is there? I wanted a family, dh wanted a family. We did all that we could possibly do biologically to have one. When it became clear that it wasn't going to happen biologically, we went down other roads, including finally, adoption. We now have a family, and couldn't be happier. Until the hope outweighs the fear, you grieve, you cry, and you work day by day to survive this. When the time is right to try again -- when you actually think you might consider it, you'll know. Hugs Helen. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 Addison Grace, 9/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Helen" wrote in message .uk... how do you cope, I really admire your strength because to be honest at this very moment I really don't think I want to get pregnant again for fear of the same thing happening, it has completely knocked me sideways. I came out of hospital this morning after an ERPC unfortunately I had to stay in overnight just to add to the misery as my temperature shot up :-( Helen Madeline 17/10/04 One little angel 18/10/04 "Jamie Clark" wrote in message ... Oh Helen, I am so sorry. I have a whole slew of angels under my sig line, I just don't type them out any more. I feel for you. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 Addison Grace, 9/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Helen" wrote in message . uk... thank you to everyone who tried to reassure me and helped me through a very difficult day in limbo, sadly we were told this morning that our baby has died and that I am going to miscarry. We are obviously devastated. thank you again for your thoughts and prayers Helen the Midwife Madeline 17/5/04 one little angel not to be :-( |
#34
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Hugs Helen. No, it doesn't sound selfish. I'm sure that as a midwife, you
are all too aware of the fact that some pregnancies don't make it. And, at the same time, the vast majority of them do make it to term and result in healthy babies. Your miscarriage is still very fresh. Wait a cycle or two, and see how you feel then. Hugs. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 Addison Grace, 9/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password |
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