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Article in newspaper...
Here is an appalling article I found in my local newspaper today.
Cincinnati Enquire March 19th. Constant 'attachment' not so good Your voice: Melissa Severance Now don't strangle me with your slings, "attachment parents" ("Battle of the bonds," March 9), but hear me out. In my former Earth Mama days, I too held my new baby as much as possible and responded to nearly every cry with a snack of mother's milk. This went on and on, through my days as a new stay-at-home mom, and through my nights as I pulled my nursling close and tended to his supposed needs at the slightest whimper. It felt right. It seemed good. And thankfully it came to end after eight months when the euphoria wore off and I snapped out of it. For goodness' sake, I needed a good night's sleep. And Honeybear was going to have to do it on his own. I think he cried for an hour, maybe longer. The next day, 11 minutes. That night, seven minutes. It was about time. How I dealt with child number two's sleep issues is a blur, but by the time number three came along I needed a plan. I had way too much to do to be wearing my baby around in some sling. After reading the controversial book, "On Becoming Babywise," which I would have considered cold and calloused when I was a new mother, I had something new to work with. It takes our great-grandmothers' approach of "scheduling" a baby's feedings but in a softer way, shaping the baby's metabolism and putting the baby down for naps without allowing baby to endlessly suckle himself to sleep and never learning to fall asleep on his own. Yes, there is some crying involved. And when I was a first-time mom I would be rolling my eyes by now, but the method works, people. Eight months of night wakings/feedings reduced itself to eight weeks and one day when my third child kept on sleeping until the crack of dawn. It was hard work being a bit of a clock-watcher but it paid off. Now, my five-month-old does a good 11-hour stretch each night and I'm able to (for the most part) plan my days around his naps. Ah, yes, my mother tells me I have a "good baby" as the book promises. All I know is that for me, I needed something more solid than just "be positive" to help my child become a good sleeper, or for my 2-year-old to come when I call him or for my 5-year-old to admit when he's done wrong to his sibling. Just making a child "feel good" in the moment does not work for the longterm; we must take charge, with confidence, knowing that for his own good and the good of the family, it's time to go to sleep. Melissa Severance of College Hill is a mother of three and a writer. |
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