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#1
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 4:06*pm, (Beth Kevles) wrote:
Hi -- With our kids, we approached things as follows, and had both kids pretty much sleeping through before age 2: First, deal with falling asleep at night: * * * *Feed well so the child falls asleep feeling full * * * *Never nurse all the way to sleep * * * *Consistent sleeping place (crib -- I could never sleep through * * * *the night snuffles when in the same room) We have a few issues here - her eating habits are hit and miss these days. Some nights she gobbles up a storm. Other nights it's a few bites and NOTHING we do can make her eat more. I figured that was associated with her sleep issues, but actually last night she ate a ton and slept very poorly. The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the house, she won't stop til she has me. Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us. Next, deal with morning: * * * Blackout shades in bedroom * * * Never feed right on waking. *Instead, do morning routine first * * * (diaper, dress both of us) * * * Go to kitchen to eat and nurse We do all this already, morning is usually not a problem. Finally, deal with night wakings: * * * * *Never feed at night We haven't been consistent here. No feeding at night was working for awhile, but DH gave in a few times (and ok, I gave in a few times too and now we're screwed....) * * * * *Be boring at night -- no talking, just "shhh, shhh" This has been a consistent thing we've done. * * * * *Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed Well, since she's always co-slept, the whole transition to crib will be an issue. * * * * *Let child cry if it doesn't last more than minutes We have tried this, I think we lasted 30 minutes which was too long for everyone. * * * * *Consider pain reliever (tylenol, etc) if you suspect teething * * * * *pain causing the wakings Tried that a few times, but as I've said elsewhere, pain relievers seem to do nothing for her. The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be changed. *Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns to waken when mildly hungry. *But by age two (or earlier) the child should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a habit. That was why my leaving the room helped. But ever since she had croup (over Thanksgiving) her sleep pattern got all thrown off and has never recovered. Didn't help that we travelled soon after that, then I was in hospital for emergency surgery, and then ill...so everything was off for a good 6 weeks. We've been trying to get back on track for the past 6 weeks and it's not working! Sleeping through the night is GLORIOUS. *The kids are 10 and 12 now, which means we have the opposite problem: getting them out of bed in the morning. We already decided that when we get to that stage, we're going to bang pots in her room as payback ;-) Thanks for the suggestions. We'll try them out. |
#2
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How to stop the night wakings?
cjra wrote:
The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the house, she won't stop til she has me. You may need to absent yourself at every bedtime for a while. Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us. Any chance of expediting completion of her room? We haven't been consistent here. No feeding at night was working for awhile, but DH gave in a few times (and ok, I gave in a few times too and now we're screwed....) Not necessarily, but it does make it more of a challenge. The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be changed. Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns to waken when mildly hungry. But by age two (or earlier) the child should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a habit. That was why my leaving the room helped. But ever since she had croup (over Thanksgiving) her sleep pattern got all thrown off and has never recovered. Didn't help that we travelled soon after that, then I was in hospital for emergency surgery, and then ill...so everything was off for a good 6 weeks. We've been trying to get back on track for the past 6 weeks and it's not working! It does take a while to get back on track after upheaval like that. You may just need to be patient and consistent. You might also introduce another upheaval, but this time deliberately in order to do things like get her to bed earlier, remove mom from bedtime, stop feeding at night, etc. Best wishes, Ericka |
#3
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 13, 7:00 am, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
cjra wrote: The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the house, she won't stop til she has me. You may need to absent yourself at every bedtime for a while. I think DH is getting softer though, so he's not helping! He used to be more consistent with her, but lack of sleep is weaing him down too. Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us. Any chance of expediting completion of her room? Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our bedroom. Just for the record, things we need to do: 4 windows: 1. Remove lead paint from casing, strip windows (stripping to be done off-site) 2. Sand, paint casing (1&2 have to be done when she's out of the house) 3. re-glaze 4 windows (each double hung) and paint 4. frames: strip (done off-site), sand and stain, then rehang 4. Rehang with weights 2 doors, which include transom windows 1. strip, sand, paint 2. rehang walls: tape and float, sand, paint floor: complete stripping of linoleum (most is off, but there's a particularly stubborn part) lay new flooring Having done one room almost completely, and about 90% of the kitchen, we have a good idea of how long each task takes. |
#4
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How to stop the night wakings?
Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our bedroom. I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I honestly think that to both continue nursing and cosleeping and also sleep through the night is a VERY hard task, something that I cannot recall a single person I've come across having done it (that could be because if it was easy and not a problem it doesn't get mentioned). I know plenty of people who nursed toddlers and had them sleeping through the night in a separate room and I also know of non nursing cosleeping though the night toddlers - I've had one of each myself! So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every age. It may feel like you can only survive so long, but believe me, you do survive, it's not fun, but you do. Anne |
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every age. Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors, there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather not put her to sleep in there.... If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally re-structuring the house, if at all possible. |
#6
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How to stop the night wakings?
"cjra" wrote in message ... On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote: So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every age. Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors, there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather not put her to sleep in there.... If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally re-structuring the house, if at all possible. I might be a little dippy here, apologies if so Can she not sleep in the room she's in at the moment, and your DH sleep in the room you're in (with you)? Lucy x |
#7
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How to stop the night wakings?
cjra wrote:
On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote: So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every age. Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors, Why does the area have to be quiet? One of the other things that my mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because then she would wake at every noise. Whereas when you are running the vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing around, she'd get used to some noise. Is it that quiet at the daycare when she takes her nap? Really it is better to do this - otherwise every time you go on a trip she won't sleep. there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather not put her to sleep in there.... If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally re-structuring the house, if at all possible. |
#8
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How to stop the night wakings?
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message . .. Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our bedroom. I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I honestly think that to both continue nursing and cosleeping and also sleep through the night is a VERY hard task, something that I cannot recall a single person I've come across having done it (that could be because if it was easy and not a problem it doesn't get mentioned). I know plenty of people who nursed toddlers and had them sleeping through the night in a separate room and I also know of non nursing cosleeping though the night toddlers - I've had one of each myself! This is what we did. DD still sleeps with us and is now just over 2. At around 18 months or so I was sick of her waking to feed, often 2 or 3 times a night (and we were wanting to try for another child and my period hadn't returned yet) , so I'd suggest she just have a cuddle first, and if she still wanted to nurse afterwards she could. She would still nurse to sleep at that point, and I introduced it by saying let's just have a cuddle, and then she can nurse. Then when she would wake in the night and want to nurse I would do the same thing - the first few nights she woke, and I didn't nurse her straight away she cried and I told her I was just going to cuddle her first and then she could nurse - which I did. After a few days she accepted it and it wasn't long before she woke up, cuddled and went straight back to sleep without nursing at all. Then when she woke up after that time I would say - "No, you don't nurse in the middle of the night!! (Like it was a funny thing to want) - How about a cuddle, or a sip of water?" And she would be fine, and pretty much after that time she started sleeping through without a problem. HTH |
#9
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 14, 5:03 am, "Linda" wrote:
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message . .. Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our bedroom. I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I honestly think that to both continue nursing and cosleeping and also sleep through the night is a VERY hard task, something that I cannot recall a single person I've come across having done it (that could be because if it was easy and not a problem it doesn't get mentioned). I know plenty of people who nursed toddlers and had them sleeping through the night in a separate room and I also know of non nursing cosleeping though the night toddlers - I've had one of each myself! This is what we did. DD still sleeps with us and is now just over 2. At around 18 months or so I was sick of her waking to feed, often 2 or 3 times a night (and we were wanting to try for another child and my period hadn't returned yet) , so I'd suggest she just have a cuddle first, and if she still wanted to nurse afterwards she could. She would still nurse to sleep at that point, and I introduced it by saying let's just have a cuddle, and then she can nurse. Then when she would wake in the night and want to nurse I would do the same thing - the first few nights she woke, and I didn't nurse her straight away she cried and I told her I was just going to cuddle her first and then she could nurse - which I did. After a few days she accepted it and it wasn't long before she woke up, cuddled and went straight back to sleep without nursing at all. Then when she woke up after that time I would say - "No, you don't nurse in the middle of the night!! (Like it was a funny thing to want) - How about a cuddle, or a sip of water?" And she would be fine, and pretty much after that time she started sleeping through without a problem. HTH Yeah, I think this is part of the problem. When I first moved out of the room, about 14 months, it took a few days but she started sleeping longer stretched and eventually got to 9-10 hour stretches almost consistently. She she'd stopped nursing during the night, but would nurse when she woke up and before sleeping. All was well. I didn't even have to go through the whole 'you don't want to nurse' thing - I wasn't there so she didn't notice. Well, she did try to nurse DH a few times, but she quickly learned that didn't work and fell back to sleep. Then she got sick, would eat or drink *nothing* and I nursed her like a newborn...she got better fairly quickly, at least over the worst, and her appetite did come back, but not to quite the same level. She developed a sinus infection around that time, which improved with antibiotics and then we were travelling and again nursing more than normal. This got compounded by a short hospital stay by me, and DH started giving her milk again at night because it usually worked to help her sleep, but eventually that turned into her waking up for it. Since then things haven't been as consistent as they should have been. I've gone in to nurse her a number of times, because she'll scream like she's in pain or desperate, but I realize now it's just that she's smart ;-) So I think you're right in that we really need to decide no nursing at night at all, and no milk from Papa either and just be prepared to stick it out a lot longer this time. What I noticed last night is that even though she's not nursing, she's touching me. She'll doze off, I even hear snoring. I inch away (I can't sleep that close anymore) and as soon as I move away, no matter how gentle, she sits up and yells. Stinker. |
#10
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How to stop the night wakings?
cjra wrote:
[snip] Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us. [snip] Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed Well, since she's always co-slept, the whole transition to crib will be an issue. [snip] Personally I wouldn't bother with a crib any more, I'd get her her own bed. If you are worried she'd fall out, you could either put cushions next to it, or have a very low one, possiby just a matress on the floor. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
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