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How old should children be before being left alone?
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How old should children be before being left alone?
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How old should children be before being left alone?
Chloe wrote:
wrote in message ... Never? It's probably not a good idea to leave most children alone together & unsupervised, ever. There's no one to control their bad side, & they can get excited/"high" by doing things (mean stuff, destroying, assaults), & act worse & worse. (an fictional example is in the book: Lord of the Flies) However, there are some individual exceptions. snip You don't need to cite a fictional example to me. Last year where I live a woman left her kids home alone while she was at work, and the two pre-teen aged boys beat their 5 year old sister to death. The boys had a history of violence and had already been in juvie a couple of times. I really can't manage to dredge up any compassion for the mother, who it's reported is borderline retarded. Makes mandatory sterilization seem like a good idea. Should they be shot to death like the molesters should be? |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
"Seth Thomas" wrote in message ... wrote: How old should children be before being left alone? The following was recently suggested as a guideline by a pediatrician, and I must say I'm totally dumbfounded. The pediatrician recommends age TEN as the age when apron strings are loosened. I was given free reign to wander the neighborhood by age four and was often off hiking in the woods alone by age seven. Has the world changed that much, or are kids just more stupid today? How early in life were you given some degree of autonomy? Recently parents have been eager to ask me how old their children should be before they can be left at home alone, without a babysitter. I feel at home but not alone with this common question so let me provide some information on the topic. First of all, no children under age ten should ever be left alone, even for a few minutes. Beyond that there is no hard and fast rule. It basically comes down to a combination of the children's level of maturity, their ability to make decisions, the parents' comfort level, and the community or environment in which the family lives. If your children are over age ten but still apprehensive about being left alone, don't leave them alone-it's as simple as that. If your children are over age ten and want to try being left alone, here are a few hints that will make things go well: Set the house rules ahead of time, and make sure your children understand them and can repeat them back to you. The rules are up to you, but they usually include things like "No guests when an adult is not home," "Never answer the door for a stranger," and "Never tell someone on the phone that you are alone". Make sure your children know how to respond in the event of an emergency by talking them through different situations and hearing how they would respond. Post all key phone numbers and any special instructions in a visible place, such as the fridge. If your children do need to be alone after school while you are still at work, ask them to call you (or a neighbor, if you are unavailable) as soon as they get home, just to let you know they're okay. Also, instruct them to never enter the house if they come home from school and find the door open or unlocked. With these hints in place, try running your children through a practice session. Start by leaving them alone for only fifteen or twenty minutes. Then, increase their time alone gradually. Hopefully tips like this will be the key that unlocks your peace of mind it comes to leaving your children home alone without adult supervision. Awwwk. Kids differ from child to child. 13 is a good age for trust and responsibility. Here, the law is age 12-there is still a limit as to how long a young teen can be left alone, or in supervision of other children. And it really depends on the child. I have known 7 yr olds I would trust much farther than some 15 yr olds! So at 12, some children might be very ready, and some might not be ready at all. |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
In article , Donna Metler says...
"Seth Thomas" wrote in message ... wrote: How old should children be before being left alone? The following was recently suggested as a guideline by a pediatrician, and I must say I'm totally dumbfounded. The pediatrician recommends age TEN as the age when apron strings are loosened. I was given free reign to wander the neighborhood by age four and was often off hiking in the woods alone by age seven. Has the world changed that much, or are kids just more stupid today? How early in life were you given some degree of autonomy? Recently parents have been eager to ask me how old their children should be before they can be left at home alone, without a babysitter. I feel at home but not alone with this common question so let me provide some information on the topic. First of all, no children under age ten should ever be left alone, even for a few minutes. Beyond that there is no hard and fast rule. It basically comes down to a combination of the children's level of maturity, their ability to make decisions, the parents' comfort level, and the community or environment in which the family lives. If your children are over age ten but still apprehensive about being left alone, don't leave them alone-it's as simple as that. If your children are over age ten and want to try being left alone, here are a few hints that will make things go well: Set the house rules ahead of time, and make sure your children understand them and can repeat them back to you. The rules are up to you, but they usually include things like "No guests when an adult is not home," "Never answer the door for a stranger," and "Never tell someone on the phone that you are alone". Make sure your children know how to respond in the event of an emergency by talking them through different situations and hearing how they would respond. Post all key phone numbers and any special instructions in a visible place, such as the fridge. If your children do need to be alone after school while you are still at work, ask them to call you (or a neighbor, if you are unavailable) as soon as they get home, just to let you know they're okay. Also, instruct them to never enter the house if they come home from school and find the door open or unlocked. With these hints in place, try running your children through a practice session. Start by leaving them alone for only fifteen or twenty minutes. Then, increase their time alone gradually. Hopefully tips like this will be the key that unlocks your peace of mind it comes to leaving your children home alone without adult supervision. Awwwk. Kids differ from child to child. 13 is a good age for trust and responsibility. Here, the law is age 12-there is still a limit as to how long a young teen can be left alone, or in supervision of other children. And it really depends on the child. I have known 7 yr olds I would trust much farther than some 15 yr olds! So at 12, some children might be very ready, and some might not be ready at all. Here, the law is fuzzy - it's the kind of circumstance that, if there is a problem, then the child was too young; if there isn't, the child wasn't too young. I did find that age ten for my son was a good age to let him be by himself after school and when I do certain errands. He likes the time by himself, although he has said he feels lonely after too long without someone else in the house. But not scared. I think the main criterion is - when will the child be able to handle minor emergencies and know what help to call in for major emergencies. And what resources are there in the community. Age 7 - probably not. Perhaps that poster's parents are the type who can't imagine anything happening. Of course, there are also parents who seem to think disaster's around every corner. It's a matter of balance and common sense IMO - things *may* happen, most probably not, but at what age can the child deal with emergencies. Heh - I remember being left in the house alone at age eight for awhile while she took my brother to the doctor and she took my little 2 year old sister with her. I liked the solitude. My mother had started laundry. The washer load became unbalanced, and before I paid attention to what the banging sound was, the washer had "walked" out from the rocking far enough to break the hoses. *Then* I ran to neighbors for help, but the house flooded and my Mom yelled at me for not turing off the main water line. I looked her "main water what???" :-) Banty |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
x-no-archive:yes
"Donna Metler" wrote: "Seth Thomas" wrote in message ... wrote: How old should children be before being left alone? It depends on the child, the circumstances and what one means by 'being left alone'. (your definition of what 'is' is g) The following was recently suggested as a guideline by a pediatrician, and I must say I'm totally dumbfounded. The pediatrician recommends age TEN as the age when apron strings are loosened. My interpretation of 'left alone' would have been the age at which one could be a latch-key child. That is the age at which a parent or caregiver was not at home and the child was home alone. I don't think 10 or 12 is too old for that. I was given free reign to wander the neighborhood by age four and was often off hiking in the woods alone by age seven. Has the world changed that much, or are kids just more stupid today? I think the answer is based on several different factors. a) There's more regulation now than there used to be b) The nature of the threats to children is being broadcast more immediately and to more than the local community. I doubt if we'd ever have heard about Elizabeth Smart in the old days. c) Parents have reacted to factor b (and sometimes to factor a) by being more protective of their children. The children aren't more stupid - they just don't get the opportunity to exercise their own judgement as early. How early in life were you given some degree of autonomy? I walked to meet my dad coming home from work (he took the trolley) when I was about 4 and my sister was 2. We weren't allowed to cross any streets, but we could walk up to the corner and down to the end of the next corner. I walked to school by myself from kindergarten on. (I never rode a school bus.) This was a distance of about 3 blocks. I also walked home from Sunday school at about that age and it was about a half mile through residential streets. As soon as I had a two wheel bike, I was allowed to ride in certain specified areas such as the alleys behind my house. I was allowed to walk over to my best friend's house a block away. My mom and dad left my sister and me alone at a coal mine (at the top) while they went down in the mine to take data on my dad's experiments. Sometimes I even had to miss school for a day or so - this was when I was in 4th grade and my sister was in 2nd grade. We told each other stories, and made daisy chains etc. My sister and I rode the trolley/bus every week downtown to piano lessons - this included a transfer from one line to another. My parents would pick us up afterwards. We also went to the dentist this way (although thank goodness that wasn't every week) I don't remember exactly when that started, but I think I was still in elementary school. When I was in hs, I was a latchkey kid - my mom wasn't home when I got home, and if I was 'sick' (usually bronchial asthma) I could stay home in bed alone. Recently parents have been eager to ask me how old their children should be before they can be left at home alone, without a babysitter. I feel at home but not alone with this common question so let me provide some information on the topic. First of all, no children under age ten should ever be left alone, even for a few minutes. Beyond that there is no hard and fast rule. It basically comes down to a combination of the children's level of maturity, their ability to make decisions, the parents' comfort level, and the community or environment in which the family lives. If your children are over age ten but still apprehensive about being left alone, don't leave them alone-it's as simple as that. If your children are over age ten and want to try being left alone, here are a few hints that will make things go well: Set the house rules ahead of time, and make sure your children understand them and can repeat them back to you. The rules are up to you, but they usually include things like "No guests when an adult is not home," "Never answer the door for a stranger," and "Never tell someone on the phone that you are alone". Make sure your children know how to respond in the event of an emergency by talking them through different situations and hearing how they would respond. Post all key phone numbers and any special instructions in a visible place, such as the fridge. If your children do need to be alone after school while you are still at work, ask them to call you (or a neighbor, if you are unavailable) as soon as they get home, just to let you know they're okay. Also, instruct them to never enter the house if they come home from school and find the door open or unlocked. With these hints in place, try running your children through a practice session. Start by leaving them alone for only fifteen or twenty minutes. Then, increase their time alone gradually. Hopefully tips like this will be the key that unlocks your peace of mind it comes to leaving your children home alone without adult supervision. Awwwk. Kids differ from child to child. 13 is a good age for trust and responsibility. Here, the law is age 12-there is still a limit as to how long a young teen can be left alone, or in supervision of other children. And it really depends on the child. I have known 7 yr olds I would trust much farther than some 15 yr olds! So at 12, some children might be very ready, and some might not be ready at all. With my own children, dd#1 walked to kindergarten and home again by herself every day which included crossing a major street without a crossing guard. DD#2 was allowed to roam up and down the street, to ride her bike and go play with friends by herself at about age 5. At age 6, she took he sister's 2 wheel bike out into the alley and taught herself to ride it. When she was 11, I would leave dd#1 in charge of her youngest siblings (10 years younger and 7.5 years younger) for a half an hour while I drove dd#2 to swim team. She started dinner and she had a nearby neighbor to call in case of a problem. Then when dh got home, he finished up the dinner preparation. When she was 12, she babysat the neighbor's infant by herself. By the time they were 16, they were driving themselves and their siblings (and sometimes other team members) and horses to competitions - sometimes without either myself or dh being there. grandma Rosalie |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
"Banty" wrote in message ... Heh - I remember being left in the house alone at age eight for awhile while she took my brother to the doctor and she took my little 2 year old sister with her. I liked the solitude. My mother had started laundry. The washer load became unbalanced, and before I paid attention to what the banging sound was, the washer had "walked" out from the rocking far enough to break the hoses. *Then* I ran to neighbors for help, but the house flooded and my Mom yelled at me for not turing off the main water line. I looked her "main water what???" :-) This would be my reasoning for not leaving a child that young alone. Though some are mature enough to not cause mischief, they lack the life experience to handle some unexpected disasters. Had you been older, you might have known where the main water line was, from life experience. |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
"toypup" wrote in message
news0wmb.26268$HS4.94978@attbi_s01... "Banty" wrote in message ... Heh - I remember being left in the house alone at age eight for awhile while she took my brother to the doctor and she took my little 2 year old sister with her. I liked the solitude. My mother had started laundry. The washer load became unbalanced, and before I paid attention to what the banging sound was, the washer had "walked" out from the rocking far enough to break the hoses. *Then* I ran to neighbors for help, but the house flooded and my Mom yelled at me for not turing off the main water line. I looked her "main water what???" :-) This would be my reasoning for not leaving a child that young alone. Though some are mature enough to not cause mischief, they lack the life experience to handle some unexpected disasters. Had you been older, you might have known where the main water line was, from life experience. But the house would have flooded even if she hadn't been left home. She probably reduced the amount of flooding caused, by running to the neighbor. It sounds like leaving her home helped save the house, it didn't cause the flood. |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
"Rosalie B." wrote in message
When she was 11, I would leave dd#1 in charge of her youngest siblings (10 years younger and 7.5 years younger) for a half an hour while I drove dd#2 to swim team. She started dinner and she had a nearby neighbor to call in case of a problem. Then when dh got home, he finished up the dinner preparation. When she was 12, she babysat the neighbor's infant by herself. I hadn't thought of babysitting. I started babysitting infants when I was in 5th grade, so 10 years old. IME, there were many people who felt comfortable with this 30 years ago. I was responsible and had parents and neighbors down the street that I could call. I know at 10 I felt like caring for an infant was a big responsibility (it felt a bit overwhelming b/c they were so small and couldn't tell me what they wanted,) but babysitting for toddlers then felt fine. I babysat a lot from age 10 thru 13. My Mother was put in the hospital for a week when I was young--my sister took care of three of us, ages 6, 7 & 8, for a week, getting us off to school, making lunch, watching us after school, getting dinner--she was probably 12 or 13. There weren't many other options for us then. My sister did a good job, but I remember the school didn't like it when they learned she was doing this. |
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How old should children be before being left alone?
"Seth Thomas" wrote in message
... Chloe wrote: wrote in message ... Never? It's probably not a good idea to leave most children alone together & unsupervised, ever. There's no one to control their bad side, & they can get excited/"high" by doing things (mean stuff, destroying, assaults), & act worse & worse. (an fictional example is in the book: Lord of the Flies) However, there are some individual exceptions. snip You don't need to cite a fictional example to me. Last year where I live a woman left her kids home alone while she was at work, and the two pre-teen aged boys beat their 5 year old sister to death. The boys had a history of violence and had already been in juvie a couple of times. I really can't manage to dredge up any compassion for the mother, who it's reported is borderline retarded. Makes mandatory sterilization seem like a good idea. Should they be shot to death like the molesters should be? Well, I hope this mother never regains custody of any of her children (I think she has a total of six). I don't have any ideas about what's appropriate for children who kill. The juvenile court system doesn't seem to do much except give them time to grow into adult criminals. In practical terms I'd say, sadly, that the boys are already a lost cause even at their young age. If they'd never been born society would probably have two fewer criminals to deal with on the street. And frankly, the five-year-old victim's life seems pretty much like a waste to me, too. Evidently her family managed to pack a lot of misery into her few years. |
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