workable routines

We eat dinner at 6 and bedtime is at 7:30 for our 4 and 5 year old. The
5 year old will start school in September. Any ideas or experience with
evening routines that allow time for cleaning up toys that doesn't end
in a round of whines and frustration?

Karen G

Karen G wrote:
We eat dinner at 6 and bedtime is at 7:30 for our 4 and 5 year old. The
5 year old will start school in September. Any ideas or experience with
evening routines that allow time for cleaning up toys that doesn't end
in a round of whines and frustration?

Wow, that's a tough one, says the parent of DS who's room is
littered with legos.

Is there something that the kids really want to do after
dinner, usually? Use the computer? Watch a movie? Why not
institute the rule that that can't be done until all the toys
are picked up. Or have them clean for 10 minutes before dinner
and 10 minutes after. Sometimes breaking the cleaning in two
makes it seem more manageable.

Scott DD 11 and DS 8

Karen G wrote:
We eat dinner at 6 and bedtime is at 7:30 for our 4 and 5 year old. The
5 year old will start school in September. Any ideas or experience with
evening routines that allow time for cleaning up toys that doesn't end
in a round of whines and frustration?

Karen G



At that age, toy clean up was before dinner. That was after
dinner was (relatively) conflict free and we could
concentrate on relaxing before bed.

Lesley

In article ,
LFortier wrote:
Karen G wrote:
We eat dinner at 6 and bedtime is at 7:30 for our 4 and 5 year old. The
5 year old will start school in September. Any ideas or experience with
evening routines that allow time for cleaning up toys that doesn't end
in a round of whines and frustration?

At that age, toy clean up was before dinner. That was after
dinner was (relatively) conflict free and we could
concentrate on relaxing before bed.

That's what I would recommend. And of course, as much as possible, clean
as you go, putting away one activity before starting another. We don't seem
to do that nearly as much as we ought to anymore...

--Robyn

"Karen G" wrote in message
...
We eat dinner at 6 and bedtime is at 7:30 for our 4 and 5 year old. The
5 year old will start school in September. Any ideas or experience with
evening routines that allow time for cleaning up toys that doesn't end
in a round of whines and frustration?

Just making the cleanup happen at the same time every day will probably help
enormously after a few days or a week. They will see that it is indeed going
to happen and that whining will not change it.

However, I'll also second Robyn's suggestion to clean as you go (i.e., make
them do so -- put away one set of things before taking another out) so that
the cleanup job isn't too difficult and, along the same lines, remind you to
have realistic expectations about how much a 4- and 5-YO can clean up on
their own. My older kids are 9 and 6 now, and it's just the usual thing that
they're sent up to straighten up the room they share with their baby sister
about 15 mins before she needs to go up to bed. They know it's coming so
there's not usually much fuss beyond a "Can I PLEASE wait another 5
minutes?" ("No") but if there's excessive mess (e.g., if the 6 YO, who plays
with toys, had a playdate that was mostly spent in the room), I do go up
with them to help/direct. It's just less stressful to help than to complain
when, really, a huge mess can be very daunting for a young child. With kids
your kids' ages, I would only ask them to a small amount of cleaning at one
time and would just quickly do the rest myself.

Also, if there is a lot or an unusual mess, I *always* give very specific
instructions about what each child should do, or it *always* ends up in a
fight between them.

In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:

Also, if there is a lot or an unusual mess, I *always* give very specific
instructions about what each child should do, or it *always* ends up in a
fight between them.


This is our biggest struggle with the 8yo and almost-11yo. The older one
always feels that the younger one is not doing his share (and he is usually
right). I find it hard to split it into equal "jobs" or areas. Anyone
have a great solution here?

Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

"Robyn Kozierok" wrote in message
...
In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:

Also, if there is a lot or an unusual mess, I *always* give very specific
instructions about what each child should do, or it *always* ends up in a
fight between them.


This is our biggest struggle with the 8yo and almost-11yo. The older one
always feels that the younger one is not doing his share (and he is
usually
right). I find it hard to split it into equal "jobs" or areas. Anyone
have a great solution here?

No, not really. But I'll mention that in my house, my 6 YO DD is just not
expected to do as much as my 9 YO DS. Her share is smaller than his, so even
when she does "her share" it's still theoretically less than he has to do.
He pretty much accepts that.

In reality, when it comes to cleaning up their shared room, she usually has
a lot more to do than he does because she really plays with toys and often
has friends over, which he does not. So, when I send them up to clean up
their shared room, I remind her to clean up "her toys" (barbies, Pollys,
dolls, stuffed animals, jewelry -- sometimes all out in one day, which makes
for a hefty job that I often help out with), and he cleans up any of his own
small mess (mostly CDs, guitars, and books) plus all the other books that
have been strewn about by all 3 kids. Additional general clean-up tasks
usually fall on his shoulders because he can manage them, but I rarely, and
only as a personal favor, ask him to clean up "her toys." That would start
WW III.

"Robyn Kozierok" wrote in message
...


This is our biggest struggle with the 8yo and almost-11yo. The older one
always feels that the younger one is not doing his share (and he is
usually
right). I find it hard to split it into equal "jobs" or areas. Anyone
have a great solution here?



Simple, there are no equal jobs unless they are twins and then they are the
same age. I reply that no, the jobs are not equal and they're very
observant to have noticed that (sorry, sarcasm creeps in after a while). I
have three, 17, 15 and just about 13 and I *still* get the "but he/she isn't
doing as much." Right, and at that age, you didn't either.

YOu have more privileges, therefore you have more responsibilities. End of
discussion. (the discussion could go on if we haven't been addressing this
whine/complaint for at least 10 years)

Mean Mom,
Marijke

Marijke wrote:
"Robyn Kozierok" wrote in message
...


This is our biggest struggle with the 8yo and almost-11yo. The older one
always feels that the younger one is not doing his share (and he is

usually

right). I find it hard to split it into equal "jobs" or areas. Anyone
have a great solution here?




Simple, there are no equal jobs unless they are twins and then they are the
same age. I reply that no, the jobs are not equal and they're very
observant to have noticed that (sorry, sarcasm creeps in after a while). I
have three, 17, 15 and just about 13 and I *still* get the "but he/she isn't
doing as much." Right, and at that age, you didn't either.

YOu have more privileges, therefore you have more responsibilities. End of
discussion. (the discussion could go on if we haven't been addressing this
whine/complaint for at least 10 years)

Yes, it really is an ongoing, never-ending complaint.
Always remember to add "Life isn't fair". DD hates
that one

scott DD 11 and DS 8

"Scott" wrote in message
...

right). I find it hard to split it into equal "jobs" or areas. Anyone
have a great solution here?




Simple, there are no equal jobs unless they are twins and then they are
the
same age.

Even when they ARE twins and the same age, the jobs aren't equal. So what I
do as a mother of twins is to have jobs assigned by week. One week kid A
does the garbage, clears the table, sweeps the kitchen floor and is
responsible for swabbing the small bathroom. Kid B sets the table, washes
the dishes, unloads the dishwasher and swabs the bigger bathroom. Then they
exchange jobs the next week. Do they like this? Hell no. They hate ANY work,
but geesh, I'm not their maid and they have to learn sometime how to clean
up for themselves.

Yes, it really is an ongoing, never-ending complaint.
Always remember to add "Life isn't fair". DD hates
that one

Or my version, which is designed to drive them crazy, "Since when did life
become fair? When I win the lottery and nobody has to do anything, THEN life
is fair."

Marjorie