About lawns - a better view

We are a strange sort of creature aren't we?

David

God on lawns


To all you gardeners out there - this one will really make you think
........
hmmm ....... There's definitely something wrong with this picture!

God on lawns

GOD: Hey Frank, you know all about gardens and nature -- what in the
world
is going on down there on Earth? What in the world happened to the
dandelions, violets, thistles and the stuff I started eons ago? I had a
perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of
soil,
withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long
lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of
songbirds. I
expected to see a vast garden of color by now. All I see are patches of
green.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are called
the
Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to
great
lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it is so boring and it's not colorful. It doesn't
attract
butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental

with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want grass growing
there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
keep
it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing it and poisoning any
other
plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and the warm weather probably makes the grass grow

really fast. That must make the Suburbanites very happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a little,
they
cut it -- sometimes two times a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight: They fertilize it to make it grow and

when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back
on
the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves
them a
lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops

growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so
they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a
sheer
stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
spring
to provide beauty and shade in summer. In the autumn they fall to the
ground
and form a natural blanket to keep the moisture in the soil and protect
the
trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves become compost to
enhance
the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. As soon as the leaves fall,
the
Suburbanites rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled
away.

GOD: No way!! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in
the
winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing the leaves away they go out and buy
something
called mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the
leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch.

GOD: Enough!! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine,

you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us
tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a real stupid movie
about......


GOD: Never mind -- I think I just heard the whole story from Saint
Francis!

"quietguy" wrote in message
...

We are a strange sort of creature aren't we?

You've certainly got that right!

Haven't seen this one before, thanks. :-)


--
Paul Griffiths