Bedtime destruction-Xpost

"Kender" wrote in message
news:hp_Va.23984$YN5.21442@sccrnsc01...
It's funny but I feel bad putting the window AC in our room and letting
the
kids suffer. Who do I choose? Do you pull the air in during the day or
push
it out with your industrial fan? We close everything up at 8am and open it
all at 8pm. I grew up without AC but it's just so much more uncomfortable
when you get older. I just tell myself I'm sweating off the pounds! : )
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00


Hi there - why can't your son sleep in your room while it's hot? That way,
everyone wins, and no-one feels guilty. We have 1 A/C unit in our house,
downstairs in the LR...and DH, DD & I all sleep down here when it's hot &
nasty out.

HTH,
Corinne

BUT DARLINK, ALL IS NOT LOST!!!! For yes, it is I, returned :-)

Can't add much to all this though -- we quit naps when PT complete (at
exactly 3) and went for quiet time with a video instead. [A friend of mine
bribed hers with popcorn to make them sit still through at least part of the
video, too, otherwise they just came and bothered her serially. Another
friend found hers fell asleep on sofa during video 1-3 days a week and this
was enough to replace formal nap.]

If the new toys-in-the-bedroom thing is working for you (with or without a
nap during that time), congrats. If not and he is regularly staying up so
long in the evenings after finally napping, then I'd skip the nap and see
how it all goes. You might need a 7pm bedtime for a few months, for
example, or he might sleep in a bit if that's possible.

I don't subscribe *at all* to the "boy creating destruction = something is
deeply wrong in his psyche or life" theory, btw. I think he's just
energetic, imaginative, bored and not sleepy.

LMK how it's going.

PS France was great ... but don't worry, same old same old re-established
within 24 hours of return :-) Got back Monday night and the Three spent
Wednesday morning forbidden to come downstairs ..... etc etc etc

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01) - renamed "La tyrannie, c'est Moi", with acknowledgement
to Louis XIV, for her *charming* behavior at every one of my precious few
meals in Paris ... groan


"Kender" wrote in message
news:6VRVa.19701$Ho3.3797@sccrnsc03...
Thanks so much for all your ideas and support.

I've decided to give Evan back his books but no library books. I put some
toys in there last night. Thanks Dorothy. Of course he doesn't need to
earn
them. I just got in a power struggle and didn't realize it. I put the
girls
dollhouse and accessories (he loves it, they are bored with it) and a fire
truck and some puzzles. I need to work out a new situation for the fan.
I'm
not sure how. It was 100 degrees yesterday and his room has no good
positioning for fans. Maybe we can build a shelf. I wish I could move his
bed away from the windows but his room is really small, about 7 feet by 20
feet! It used to be an old sleeping porch back in 1913. The garbage bags
may
be needed on his windows but Evan's on the second floor! Bed knobs are
staying off. I think I'll pass on the bullet or brandy suggestion.

This all started when he was moved out of his crib in February. He has
just
gotten braver and more daring each day. It really got bad in May when he
was
potty trained and allowed to leave his room to use the bathroom. My girls
were never like this! Maybe a ripped book or two but that was the extent
of
it. We had a doorknob cover on the inside of their room room but Evan
figured out how to take his off right away, hence the lock on the outside.
I
think I will use this from time to time but I will try to not make it a
habit. It's reassuring that some of you contain your kids too, just in
different ways. Evan would definitely figure out a superyard. He's a
climber.

When he does fall asleep I can get two hours out of him. He already goes
to
bed at 7:30 so I can't imagine moving up his bedtime. Anyway, thanks for
all
the suggestions. Keep them coming if you have any more and I will update
you
on how the toys go. Too bad Janet is in France. Her kids always seem to be
into the same things as mine. I guess you're there too Ellen!

--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00
"Kender" wrote in message
news:wFGVa.15870$YN5.13898@sccrnsc01...
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet
child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only thing he has
in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is
very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

In regards to the window:
He has completely ripped his roller shades to bits. I think there's more
duct tape on them then there is plastic left.
He has ripped out the screen on one. (The screens are on the inside, old
house!)
He has broken his curtain rod several times.
He has drawn on the molding around the windows by scratching with the
metal
prongs from the plug of his fan.

Bookcase:
He has pulled it over (small bookcase only 3 feet high). Don't worry
it's
now screwed to the wall.
He has ripped ALL the pages out of 2 board books. One was a library
book,
sigh.
He rips all books somewhat therefore no more books, just empty shelves
screwed to the wall.

Bed:
He has round knobs on the 4 corners of his bed firmly glued in place,
yet
he
has removed three of said knobs.
He drew on the footboard of his bed with the above mentioned plug
prongs.

Dresser:
For some reason the only problems we've had is him changing his clothes
during nap. No real problem there.

Fans:
He keeps unplugging them and turning them off. They are plugged into an
extension cord because the outlet is far away from the window (window
fan).
We had wrapped electrical tape around the plugs to keep them in the
extension cord but as you can see from the drawings mentioned above he
just
unwrapped it.

Remarkably there is a closet filled with stuff including my clothes and
storage that he hasn't been in (to the best of my knowledge). I guess I
should lock it as he's running out of damage to do.

Also he keeps coming out of his room, at least 20 or more times every
nap
and bedtime. Tonight I finally put a lock on the outside of his door,
but
it
made me feel really crappy. I don't like locking him in especially since
he's so destructive.

I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his room. I
take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his fireman
sheets
that he likes come off the bed. I am running out of ideas since it's not
working. Any suggestions welcome for either the destructive behavior or
how
to get him to stay in his room.

I am considering putting toys in his room so he will have something else
to
focus on at quiet/nap time, but I am afraid of the damage he will be
able
to
cause to/with them. I also feel this is a privilege he needs to earn. We
have told him when he stops wrecking his room he can have toys up there
but
maybe it's too much to ask. Maybe the toys will keep him from wrecking
things?

He does actually take naps about three days a week and goes to bed after
about an hour but it's definitely getting longer. Last night it was
three
hours before he fell asleep. Tonight we're at 1.5 hours.
Thanks.
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

More will follow ... I just decided not to stay up late last night as I have
a day out on my own today (OK, a half day) and I want to enjoy it. :-)

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)


"Julie Seely" wrote in message
...
multimom4 wrote:

BUT DARLINK, ALL IS NOT LOST!!!! For yes, it is I, returned :-)

snip

PS France was great ... but don't worry, same old same old
re-established
within 24 hours of return :-) Got back Monday night and the Three
spent
Wednesday morning forbidden to come downstairs ..... etc etc etc

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01) - renamed "La tyrannie, c'est Moi", with
acknowledgement
to Louis XIV, for her *charming* behavior at every one of my precious
few
meals in Paris ... groan



So, Janet, you leave us for over a month and this is ALL WE GET for a
vacation report??????

Welcome back, anyway!

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

Thanks! I look forward to living vicariously through you (says she
whose dh's summer schedule is probably not going to allow for a summer
trip...)

Julie

multimom4 wrote:

More will follow ... I just decided not to stay up late last night as I have
a day out on my own today (OK, a half day) and I want to enjoy it. :-)

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

"Julie Seely" wrote in message
...
multimom4 wrote:

BUT DARLINK, ALL IS NOT LOST!!!! For yes, it is I, returned :-)

snip

PS France was great ... but don't worry, same old same old
re-established
within 24 hours of return :-) Got back Monday night and the Three
spent
Wednesday morning forbidden to come downstairs ..... etc etc etc

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01) - renamed "La tyrannie, c'est Moi", with
acknowledgement
to Louis XIV, for her *charming* behavior at every one of my precious
few
meals in Paris ... groan



So, Janet, you leave us for over a month and this is ALL WE GET for a
vacation report??????

Welcome back, anyway!

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

"multimom4" wrote in message
news:Ok0Xa.36842$Oz4.10334@rwcrnsc54...
BUT DARLINK, ALL IS NOT LOST!!!! For yes, it is I, returned :-)

Yippee!


Can't add much to all this though -- we quit naps when PT complete (at
exactly 3) and went for quiet time with a video instead. [A friend of
mine
bribed hers with popcorn to make them sit still through at least part of
the
video, too, otherwise they just came and bothered her serially. Another
friend found hers fell asleep on sofa during video 1-3 days a week and
this
was enough to replace formal nap.]

If the new toys-in-the-bedroom thing is working for you (with or without a
nap during that time), congrats.

It working okay.

If not and he is regularly staying up so
long in the evenings after finally napping, then I'd skip the nap and see
how it all goes. You might need a 7pm bedtime for a few months, for
example, or he might sleep in a bit if that's possible.

He already goes to bed at 7pm. I have early to bed, early to rise kids.

I don't subscribe *at all* to the "boy creating destruction = something is
deeply wrong in his psyche or life" theory, btw. I think he's just
energetic, imaginative, bored and not sleepy.

LMK how it's going.

PS France was great ... but don't worry, same old same old re-established
within 24 hours of return :-) Got back Monday night and the Three spent
Wednesday morning forbidden to come downstairs ..... etc etc etc

Chuckle. Welcome back. Can't wait to hear about your trip more!
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01) - renamed "La tyrannie, c'est Moi", with
acknowledgement
to Louis XIV, for her *charming* behavior at every one of my precious few
meals in Paris ... groan


"Kender" wrote in message
news:6VRVa.19701$Ho3.3797@sccrnsc03...
Thanks so much for all your ideas and support.

I've decided to give Evan back his books but no library books. I put
some
toys in there last night. Thanks Dorothy. Of course he doesn't need to
earn
them. I just got in a power struggle and didn't realize it. I put the
girls
dollhouse and accessories (he loves it, they are bored with it) and a
fire
truck and some puzzles. I need to work out a new situation for the fan.
I'm
not sure how. It was 100 degrees yesterday and his room has no good
positioning for fans. Maybe we can build a shelf. I wish I could move
his
bed away from the windows but his room is really small, about 7 feet by
20
feet! It used to be an old sleeping porch back in 1913. The garbage bags
may
be needed on his windows but Evan's on the second floor! Bed knobs are
staying off. I think I'll pass on the bullet or brandy suggestion.

This all started when he was moved out of his crib in February. He has
just
gotten braver and more daring each day. It really got bad in May when he
was
potty trained and allowed to leave his room to use the bathroom. My
girls
were never like this! Maybe a ripped book or two but that was the extent
of
it. We had a doorknob cover on the inside of their room room but Evan
figured out how to take his off right away, hence the lock on the
outside.
I
think I will use this from time to time but I will try to not make it a
habit. It's reassuring that some of you contain your kids too, just in
different ways. Evan would definitely figure out a superyard. He's a
climber.

When he does fall asleep I can get two hours out of him. He already goes
to
bed at 7:30 so I can't imagine moving up his bedtime. Anyway, thanks for
all
the suggestions. Keep them coming if you have any more and I will update
you
on how the toys go. Too bad Janet is in France. Her kids always seem to
be
into the same things as mine. I guess you're there too Ellen!

--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00
"Kender" wrote in message
news:wFGVa.15870$YN5.13898@sccrnsc01...
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet
child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only thing he
has
in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is
very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

In regards to the window:
He has completely ripped his roller shades to bits. I think there's
more
duct tape on them then there is plastic left.
He has ripped out the screen on one. (The screens are on the inside,
old
house!)
He has broken his curtain rod several times.
He has drawn on the molding around the windows by scratching with the
metal
prongs from the plug of his fan.

Bookcase:
He has pulled it over (small bookcase only 3 feet high). Don't worry
it's
now screwed to the wall.
He has ripped ALL the pages out of 2 board books. One was a library
book,
sigh.
He rips all books somewhat therefore no more books, just empty shelves
screwed to the wall.

Bed:
He has round knobs on the 4 corners of his bed firmly glued in place,
yet
he
has removed three of said knobs.
He drew on the footboard of his bed with the above mentioned plug
prongs.

Dresser:
For some reason the only problems we've had is him changing his
clothes
during nap. No real problem there.

Fans:
He keeps unplugging them and turning them off. They are plugged into
an
extension cord because the outlet is far away from the window (window
fan).
We had wrapped electrical tape around the plugs to keep them in the
extension cord but as you can see from the drawings mentioned above he
just
unwrapped it.

Remarkably there is a closet filled with stuff including my clothes
and
storage that he hasn't been in (to the best of my knowledge). I guess
I
should lock it as he's running out of damage to do.

Also he keeps coming out of his room, at least 20 or more times every
nap
and bedtime. Tonight I finally put a lock on the outside of his door,
but
it
made me feel really crappy. I don't like locking him in especially
since
he's so destructive.

I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his room.
I
take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his fireman
sheets
that he likes come off the bed. I am running out of ideas since it's
not
working. Any suggestions welcome for either the destructive behavior
or
how
to get him to stay in his room.

I am considering putting toys in his room so he will have something
else
to
focus on at quiet/nap time, but I am afraid of the damage he will be
able
to
cause to/with them. I also feel this is a privilege he needs to earn.
We
have told him when he stops wrecking his room he can have toys up
there
but
maybe it's too much to ask. Maybe the toys will keep him from wrecking
things?

He does actually take naps about three days a week and goes to bed
after
about an hour but it's definitely getting longer. Last night it was
three
hours before he fell asleep. Tonight we're at 1.5 hours.
Thanks.
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

Kender writes:
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only
thing he has in there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and
two fans, as it is very hot here in the Pacific NW.

If he's really only doing this at nap time, I think it's a reaction to
being left alone and not really wanting to nap. You also say he only
actually naps 3 days/week, so it's not doing a lot of good. I'm with
those who would cut out the naps. (On the other hand, I'm also more
willing to cut out or skip naps with my kids than my wife is---it's just
a judgment call.) I'd try to arrange some sort of "quiet time" that he
doesn't object to so much.

We've never had any "destruction" issues, but we don't leave the room
until they are asleep, and they usually scream for attention (or
sometimes just come out) as soon as they wake up.

David desJardins