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#11
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daddy not bonding with baby
ALanphear wrote:
My baby is 8 months old and has not bonded well with her daddy (my husband). [snip] We are trying to have Katherine spend more time with my husband, but all she does is cry uncontrollably when he holds her or if I try to leave the two alone together. I cannot even get up from sitting next to her without her crying. Don't be too sure that the baby hasn't bonded with your husband. She may just have a preference for you and this is the age for separation anxiety (this is good - she's realizing she's an individual separate from you). Does anyone have any suggestions on how we can change things now or is it too late for Katherine to bond well with her daddy? I really feel sorry for my husband, but at the same time have trouble letting him hold Katherine because I feel bad for her when she cries. We did the cruel method of having DH spend time alone with DD while I either went to a different part of the house or out to the library or grocery store. At 8 months, we also stopped the nursing to sleep routine and DH started reading at bedtime and putting her to bed. She loved to listen to us read so this was an easy thing to do. Jeanne |
#12
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daddy not bonding with baby
Lucy wrote and I snipped:
"ALanphear" wrote in message om... My baby is 8 months old and has not bonded well with her daddy (my husband). When she was 4 months old we went to Canada for 5 weeks. My husband was supposed to join us for a week, but couldn't find his birth certificate and therefore didn't get to go. My little girl, Katherine, was doing fine with him before this trip, but since we got back all she does is cry in a tantrum when he holds her or when she even thinks he is going to hold her. My husband also works shift work and really doesn't get to spend enough time with her. I am a stay at home mom and basically do everything with Katherine. My DD did best if people didn't try to pick her up or get too close. If they were just close by but not touching her, she'd get a little upset but then would be OK. After a few meetings like that, she'd generally warm up to them and would go to them to be picked up. OTOH, there were certain people that she never got used to until she got past the stranger anxiety. I heartily agree with the approach Lucy is recommending and NOT with those who suggest just leaving baby with daddy so she HAS to get used to it. I my mind's eye, I can see the dad approaching, low and slow, the baby in her bouncy seat or swing or whatever and playing from a distance, quietly, with a big smile. If he can find 10 minutes here and there in a week, rather than just picking her up and holding her right off the bat, she may warm up to him better. Being there behind mom during diaper changes and whatnot, would also help. The key to gaining trust, IMO, is respecting the baby and the baby's wishes/fears. Good luck to the OP, -Patty, mom to Corinne (5.75y) and Nathan (3.5y) and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y) |
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