Time Article - What Teachers Hate about Parents (x-posted)

toto wrote:

Any anecdotes?

A friend of my sister was teaching in an inner city school in
Baltimore some years ago. She asked a parent to come in for a
conference because one of her students was not making an effort to
learn to read. The parent totally did not see why she was upset.
"But," protested my sister's friend, "he will need to learn to read to
get a job."

"Why? He can just go on welfare like the rest of us." was the
response.

I had a parent come in and complain about the fact that I saw her son
running to school in the morning (instead of taking the bus), and did
not call and tell her. (This was 6th grade in middle school.) He
wasn't even in my homeroom.

The same parent complained because I asked the kids to do a weather
instrument as a project at home, and I gave them instruction sheets
with several different ones on it (one of which was a rain gauge which
consisted only of an open topped can or container with markings on the
side). The child evidently decided to do one which required a half
gallon milk carton and a broom straw. The mom 'had to' get a half
gallon of milk when she normally got gallons, and 'had to' go out and
buy a broom.







I have several, but the one that is pertinent he
A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in
geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in school,
he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son if
he has homework to do."

You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library
to get the whole article). I read it in print.

http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html

Parents Behaving Badly

Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say
about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy

By NANCY GIBBS

Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005
If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what sorts
of stories would you hear?

An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting the
C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every point
in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the mother
was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd written
it."

A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that she
needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom
came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me
that I had emotionally upset her child."

grandma Rosalie

"toto" wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

Many!!!
A mom once burst into my Grade 11 English class to berate my teacher about a
mark her son had recieved. Aparently a B isn't good enough and her son
couldn't possibly be that stupid, and the teacher was obviously being
stubborn and should give him an A.
Her son sank under the table to hide.

In article ,
"Jen" wrote:

"toto" wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

Many!!!
A mom once burst into my Grade 11 English class to berate my teacher about a
mark her son had recieved. Aparently a B isn't good enough and her son
couldn't possibly be that stupid, and the teacher was obviously being
stubborn and should give him an A.
Her son sank under the table to hide.



The only time I can remember my mother challenging a grade she did it in
private. My certifiably brilliant baby brother worked hard to maintain
a B+ average (seriously -- he didn't want the hassle of extra work he'd
get if he got labled Really Smart). He brought home an essay with a
"C", and Mom went in to ask the teacher why it was a C paper. The
teacher told her it wasn't -- it was a solid "B" paper, but since he was
capable of "A"s, she marked it down to a "C".


Mom pitched a fit, and insisted he be given the grade he'd earned rather
than a grade based on the teacher's annoyance. She won.

(He eventually fitured out what he wanted to do with his life, has an
MBA from Kellogg, and makes more money than God doing work he enjoys.)
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

toto wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?
[snip]

Not from teachers but one I witnessed at a district meeting with PTA
leaders.

The topic of quantity over quality has become a major issue within our
district. Some parents want their kids studying morning to late into the
night; others are a little more sensible about amounts. Teachers try and
accommodate both but have begun being flooded by page-after-ream from a
minority of parents. The two extreme POVs were in this meeting, almost
across the tables from each other.

Parent I'm-shooting-for-Harvard-and-he-NEEDS-make-work volleyed, "There
are just too many minutes where my child doesn't have any schoolwork. He
is going to go to Harvard Business so he needs more homework."

"Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each
subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the
math."

"Don't you help him?"

"You bet. Anytime he has to color a map, write an essay, or research a
topic, I make sure his homework is done."

I sat there but common sense got the better of me, "So you're doing his
geography, English, and science reports for him?"

"Why not? They're nothing more than an attempt to appease [waves at
other parent] them..."

"Because he's not learning anything! Are you going to go to college with
him, too?!"

The more she opened her mouth, the more I became convinced her son had
never done one page of homework, let alone earned any of _his_ grades.

The Ranger

The Ranger wrote:
toto wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

"Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each
subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the
math."

Okay, I don't want to say that it's legitimate to do your kid's
homework, but if you have six subjects, an hour of homework in each is
going to leave no time for anything in the child's life but schoolwork
and sleep.

Beth

wrote in message
ups.com...

The Ranger wrote:
toto wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

"Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each
subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the
math."

Okay, I don't want to say that it's legitimate to do your kid's
homework, but if you have six subjects, an hour of homework in each is
going to leave no time for anything in the child's life but schoolwork
and sleep.

Beth


Then obviously something has to give - usually a class. Rarely (or has
things really changed that much) do schools require six classes and three
electives. Drop an elective or two. But even if this is the case, I don't
think heavy coursework is a legitimate reason for parents to do their
children's homework.

Jeanne

Bruce Bridgman and Jeanne Yang wrote:
wrote in message
ups.com...

The Ranger wrote:
toto wrote in message
news Any anecdotes?

"Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in
each
subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do
the
math."

Okay, I don't want to say that it's legitimate to do your kid's
homework, but if you have six subjects, an hour of homework in each
is
going to leave no time for anything in the child's life but
schoolwork
and sleep.

Then obviously something has to give - usually a class. Rarely (or
has
things really changed that much) do schools require six classes and
three
electives. Drop an elective or two. But even if this is the case, I
don't
think heavy coursework is a legitimate reason for parents to do their

children's homework.

No, I don't think so either, but notice I said "an hour of homework in
six subjects" - I wasn't even counting the electives. If a kid was
really doing six hours of homework a night, getting home 3ish from
school, that means that with eating/washing/etc. it'd be 10 PM and time
for bed with no time for anything else but homework.

I am of course assuming the parent's claim was accurate, and even in
that situation I wouldn't do my child's homework, but that doesn't seem
like a workable situation.

Beth

"Bruce Bridgman and Jeanne Yang" wrote:

: wrote:

: The Ranger wrote:

: toto wrote:

: Any anecdotes?

: "Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an
hour in each
: subject per day. He has six classes and three
electives; you do the
: math."

: Okay, I don't want to say that it's legitimate to do
your kid's
: homework, but if you have six subjects, an hour of
homework in each is
: going to leave no time for anything in the child's life
but schoolwork
: and sleep.

: Then obviously something has to give - usually a class.
Rarely (or has
: things really changed that much) do schools require six
classes and three
: electives. Drop an elective or two. But even if this is
the case, I don't
: think heavy coursework is a legitimate reason for parents
to do their
: children's homework.

I have heard of this homework nightmare from others in my
town, but my teenagers must be attending a different school,
because I have *never* seen the amount of homework lamented
about smile, and if I had, I definitely would have
addressed it with the Superintendent and Principals. Many,
many parents have vocalized to me that they have no life in
the evenings as they sit with their children while they
do/help them with their homework boggle!

Here is my strategy: I provide a place for homework to be
done and access to computers. I ask if it has been
completed (sometimes). I stay in touch with the school
(PTO, Conferences, Open Houses, School Committee) and
teachers are aware that I am interested in knowing of any
challenges or foibles. The end.

I can comfortably say that I have *never* done my children's
schoolwork or projects (and in this town it is obvious who
is doing the work at functions such as the Science Fair). I
am *always* available to answer questions, brainstorm ideas,
help clear up confusing assignments, or attempt to point
them in the right direction. I refuse to make excuses for
them to their teachers, or cover for them when they have not
prioritized or managed their time correctly.

Hey, I already went through school and did all my own
homework; I am *so* not interested in another round
--
Ruth

Ruth Baltopoulos wrote:

Hey, I already went through school and did all my own
homework; I am *so* not interested in another round

In all honesty, I never even did *mine*, so the chance that I'm going
to do someone else's homework is very, very small.

Beth

Ruth Baltopoulos wrote:


Here is my strategy: I provide a place for homework to be
done and access to computers. I ask if it has been
completed (sometimes). I stay in touch with the school
(PTO, Conferences, Open Houses, School Committee) and
teachers are aware that I am interested in knowing of any
challenges or foibles. The end.

That strategy works fabulously under normal
circumstances. Under other situations, it doesn't work
out quite so well. There are nights my 4th grader comes
home with so much homework that if it happens on a day
when we have to do *anything* after school other than
eat dinner, he's up well past his bedtime to finish
it. Once he's that tired, if one of us is not sitting
with him to keep him focused, he falls asleep at his
desk. And heaven forbid you have a child with attention
issues, for whom it tends to take longer for homework
to get done in the first place and who might well require
parental attention to keep focus. And then there are
the children who are struggling with the material and
require substantial help from the parent to *teach* the
material in order for the child to be able to complete
the homework. And that's before we get to the stupid
assignments designed to create more "parental involvement"
that *require* the parent to participate--we have quite
a few of those. The instructions actually *tell* the
parent what the parent is supposed to be doing (so it's
not the child just conning the parent into doing it).
There are far too many nights when I'm wrung
out from attending to the needs of two kids' homework.
I resent that there are so many fun and educational
things we could do as a family, but our time to do
so is severely limited by the amount of homework that
is sent home. I do not see how well over an hour of
homework is appropriate in elementary school--add the
homework to the amount of time they're in school,
and many of these kids are putting in 50+ hour
weeks!
So, if you have a school that is sending home
reasonable amounts and types of homework, and is teaching
the children the material before assigning homework on
it, and your children don't have any extenuating
circumstances that make homework more challenging
than normal, I envy you. In that situation, I would
happily stay the heck out of the way while my kids
got their homework done, just as my parents did for
me. Unfortunately, I believe that the situation here
actively *UNDERMINES* children learning to be responsible
for their own homework by making it virtually impossible
for the children to take full responsibility for it.
Some years we have teachers who don't buy into the
homework overload madness, and those years are *so*
much better for us as a family--and (surprise, surprise)
the kids still manage to learn just as much or more
in those classes as the ones with mountains of homework.

Best wishes,
Ericka