Pregnant with second--should we move into town where no car is needed?

We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do? Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly? Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

Thanks for your thoughts! Amy

In article .com, amy says...

We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do? Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly? Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

Thanks for your thoughts! Amy


A three bedroom house will do just fine for a two-child family down the road, a
four bedroom place has more room for office/guest room. You like owning half of
what you're in (important), your boyfriend's house has advantages of living
in-town.

And you say the decision should hinge on what it's like to haul two babies
around.

It really shouldn't hinge on what it's like to haul two babies around. That
would be a very temporary situation. You might not believe it now, but it's
pretty soon that you'd wake up and realize that you don't have two babies
anymore.

So, from my limited vantage, it looks even-steven, advantages vs. disadvantages,
and the decision should really be based on what is best in the long haul. I
don't think anyone other than you and your family would know what that really
is.

Speaking of long hauls, an important closely related question you didn't ask:
are you and your boyfriend in it for the long haul? If you want my off-the-cuff
advice, it would be either that you make that relationship so (it's called
marriage), or hang on to the house where you have half ownership.

Banty

amy wrote:
We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do? Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly? Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

I think it depends totally on you. I don't
see why driving in and out of town would be any more
disruptive than walking or biking around town the
same number of times. Yes, it'll be more of a challenge
with two. Yes, you're going to have to accommodate your
children's needs as they grow and have their own interests
and activities, though you will also still do some of
your own things too. You may find that some activities
you do now with a 9mo will be less rewarding with a
toddler and an infant to chase. It all boils down
to the lifestyle you want to live. Some folk prefer
city life; others prefer life in suburbia (and others
different options yet). *I* certainly don't see any
need for you to be stuck at home all the time with
two kids, but there are other parents who don't choose
to go out much with young kids.

Best wishes,
Ericka

amy wrote:
We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2.
We just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder
CO. We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

I found moving to town a blessing. Getting milk, going to the pool, any
activity at all was a major undertaking of bringing snacks, clothes, timing
around this and that. The difference is I lived totally in the country and
was 25-35 minutes from anything at all so an hour long pool trip or a few
groceries was a 2.5hr event by the time all was said and done.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc.

Personally I don't think there will be any difference in 'easiness' between
walking, biking, or driving with two kids. You'll have two versus one in
all those situaitons. There will be a time difference if you can walk to a
kid activity in 5 minutes or drive in 15 minutes but that isn't all that big
of a deal IMO.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

Well I don't think adding a second is going to change a lot with regards to
how much you do or don't like living there. At least adding a second didn't
really impact my happiness in the country. I loved it as a single person,
not so much as a parent. My first kid cried all the time in the car though.
Both my husband and I work and it seemed we spent so much time in the car.
It felt like I added another day to the week when we moved :-).

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do?

I didn't find it any different with two versus one.

Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly?

Only if you prefer to walk/bike everywhere :-)

Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

Not at all but I do not go out as much with two as I did with one. It *is*
more work and it just isn't as fun. For me - YMMV ;-) I also find I'm
busier doing things at home for and with the kids, as well as for myself. I
can do things for myself at home now that the kids are not babies/toddlers
anymore and I get stimulation from those personal activites so I don't feel
the need to go out as much. I'm *not* a shopper though so again, YMMV.

--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
EDD 4/06

In article .com,
"amy" wrote:

We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do? Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly? Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

Thanks for your thoughts! Amy


You will only have young children for a few years. I think the bigger
question is, how happy will you be living in a house completely owned by
someone else? How committed is your relationship with BF? Would he be
willing to sell you half of his house, or put you on the title as well?
Is legal marriage coming any time soon?

There are advantages and disadvantages to both houses -- but I think you
want to seriously consider the ownership part of this before you make a
move.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

In article .com,
"amy" wrote:

We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.


Where are you now, and where downtown? (I live in SW Boulder, so I'm
just curious!)

Getting around with two is more complicated than with one - and a
toddler is more complicated than a baby - so no matter what you do, it's
going to get more complicated!

My hubby and I chose to buy a house in town (well, sort of - we're in
the Table Mesa area, so not DOWNtown, but IN town) for several reasons.
We moved here from New Jersey and could see that with the population
growing so fast, the commute was likely to get worse over time. And now
that gas prices are exploding, we're glad to have made that decision.
It's nice being able to bike the kids to school/daycare, and us to work,
without it taking much longer than driving would. (But you won't be
able to do this right away; the Burley-type trailers aren't recommended
for kids less than 18 months old.) And the bus system in town is
fabulous, and pretty easy to manage with kids.

Another thing to consider is where you want your kids to go to school.
BVSD has a very liberal open enrollment policy, so you're not just stuck
with your neighborhood school, but it's done on a lottery system, and
there's plenty of competition for the "best" schools. Not that any of
them are bad, but we chose our specific neighborhood because we liked
the neighborhood schools and wouldn't have to bother with open
enrollment.

Good luck with the decision - and congrats on your pregnancy!

Jeanne

amy wrote:
We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

I think with two you will have to become more efficient. I would
rarely go out even once a day even with one child. I've also NEVER
lived where I could walk everywhere (either because of distance or
lack of sidewalks), and I have often lived a half an hour out of town.

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do? Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly? Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

The number of children has nothing much to do with it especially if
you have them as close together as yours are. It did slow me down a
bit when I had a third one 5 years after the 2nd, but it wasn't too
bad. A two year old is already going to be a toddler and not a baby.

As others have said - the children will grow up. You need to consider
how the house will suit you in the long term. Not only when they are
a baby and a 2 year old, but when they are 3 and 5 and the 5 year old
is in kindergarten (that's only 4 years from now - how are the schools
in both places), and when they are 8 and 6 (what kinds of children's
activities are there in each place) and when they are 14 and 16.


grandma Rosalie

"Rosalie B." wrote in message
news
amy wrote:
We have a nine month old and I just discovered I'm pregnant with #2. We
just moved to a great new 3BR house 10-15 mins outside of Boulder CO.
We are on a park and can walk to a supermarket.

My boyfriend owns another 4BR home downtown where you can walk/bike
everywhere--to coffee shops, restaurants, the rec center, kids
activities, etc. You rarely have to get in the car. We do have the
option of moving there. The house is not quite as nice, but it's
certainly liveable.

I'm very happy in our current house with one child. I also enjoy being
half owner of it. The only down side is the driving in and out of town
between naps, (I go once or twice a day) and sometimes a fussy baby
who'd rather be playing!

I think with two you will have to become more efficient. I would
rarely go out even once a day even with one child.

Different strokes for different folks. I liked getting out and about.

I've also NEVER
lived where I could walk everywhere (either because of distance or
lack of sidewalks), and I have often lived a half an hour out of town.

Would driving in and out of town with two babies be nearly impossible,
or just too annoying to do? Would being able to walk/bike everywhere
with them improve our quality of life greatly? Or are you basically
stuck at home anyway?

The number of children has nothing much to do with it especially if
you have them as close together as yours are. It did slow me down a
bit when I had a third one 5 years after the 2nd, but it wasn't too
bad. A two year old is already going to be a toddler and not a baby.

As others have said - the children will grow up. You need to consider
how the house will suit you in the long term. Not only when they are
a baby and a 2 year old, but when they are 3 and 5 and the 5 year old
is in kindergarten (that's only 4 years from now - how are the schools
in both places), and when they are 8 and 6 (what kinds of children's
activities are there in each place) and when they are 14 and 16.


grandma Rosalie

Hi everyone, thanks for the thoughtful answers! We're in Gunbarrel
currently and the other house is at 18th/Dellwood. To answer the
relationship questions: yes, we are planning on marrying (at this point
it seems ridiculous not to ) and I could buy part of his house, but
what I can afford in Boulder would buy me about an inch of it.

"amy" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi everyone, thanks for the thoughtful answers! We're in Gunbarrel
currently and the other house is at 18th/Dellwood. To answer the
relationship questions: yes, we are planning on marrying (at this point
it seems ridiculous not to ) and I could buy part of his house, but
what I can afford in Boulder would buy me about an inch of it.


Well, call me nuts, but if you are getting married, the whole ownership
thing seems like a moot thing to consider. You get married, he puts your
name on the title. And eliminate that from the decision equation.